Category: Churches | Page 29 | Spiritual Abuse Blogs

When Legacy And Sexual Abuse Collide in the United Pentecostal Church

Teach your church that any form of abuse is NEVER acceptable to God no matter who does it or how important the abuser is. – Diane Langberg, PhD on Twitter, March 7, 2020

I have been writing about sexual abuse in the United Pentecostal Church for awhile now and I am overwhelmed at the number of cases. There is an incredible number of women, men and children who have been sexually abused and I don’t know that I will ever be able to cover all of the stories- it is a daunting task and one which I’ve found to be quite draining. There are cases which hit the news, as well as an innumerable number that never did because they were not reported to police and therefore never prosecuted. There’s still more to write regarding all the unreported cases of child sexual abuse at Calvary Gospel Church in Madison, Wisconsin. There’s still more to write regarding reported and unreported cases of child sexual abuse at Landmark Tabernacle in Denver, Colorado. Both of these churches allegedly have cases spanning many years and both involve pastors that some would consider to be legacy names.

Back in August 2019 I wrote, “The United Pentecostal Church makes it quite clear in their yearly Manuals that if a person is guilty of committing immoral conduct regarding sexual matters, that they are not eligible to be licensed. If such happens while they hold license with them, their license is to be revoked and never reinstated. In addition, such people are not supposed to be ministering in any of their churches, whether or not they hold license. Yet despite what appears to be very clear directives, one discovers that for years there have been men holding license who have been immoral, as well as people preaching in their churches who have been immoral.”

(Some statements in this article are what have been alleged by others. The allegations all appear to be involving adults and not children. There have been no convictions or criminal arrests as the situations mentioned here appear to not have been reported to the police, or not reported while the statute of limitations was open, and to my knowledge, the alleged perpetrator has not admitted guilt. I have withheld sharing the man’s name at this point, until at least one victim comes forward publicly and names him. This is Part 33 of an ongoing series.)

And now since 2019, there have been murmurings as well as cryptic messages left on Facebook (see some of these below) that show there has been serious trouble brewing in the Western District of the United Pentecostal Church. Apparently, one of their licensed ministers, who is a pastor that married into a family whose name is a legacy in the organization, has been accused of multiple instances of sexually related charges. From the messages circulating on Facebook, people are tired of not seeing justice- they know that the UPCI is well aware of the charges and yet this man is permitted to retain his license and still delivers sermons. There are allegations of cover-ups by legacy family members, lying, deception and more.

When your husband had been proven guilty of sexual assault and sexual harassment, and has been unfaithful to you numerous times, has been forced to resign from his church by his organization for conduct unbecoming a minister and sexual misconduct, and you insist on staying at the church in a position of perceived authority so that you can continue to lie, cover-up and deceive the congregation, because you are desperate to protect your family name, the truth about your husbands resignation, and your paycheck.- February 12, 2020 Amber’s public Facebook post

When it comes to scandal in the church, which sadly does happen, it’s amazing the extent folks will do to cover things up. The real victims are maligned, God and His name is misused to claim spiritual authority. People that know better will change alliances to protect the guilty and the guilty will make themselves the victim. Watching it happen in real time is a learning experience. Legacies will crumble when it becomes about man/woman than it does God and people. – March 2, 2020 Randy’s public Facebook post

Yes sir and the sad part of all of it is that the people that are covering KNOW they hurting people. The ones who cry submission to authority are the very ones refusing to submit to THIER authority. Amazing that sometime district boards give deadlines for people to correct the lies, but even the district boards are defied. And the amazing thing is that instead of people gossiping and assuming pick up the phone and call the Western District board. How hard is that? Are they scared of truth? Aren’t you glad there a God that knows all and is the ultimate record keeper? – March 2, 2020 Daniel’s public Facebook comment in reply to Randy

There are some in the office because of their family name, they should not be in the position they are in. They misuse the authority they have been given and make the kingdom lose its appeal and taste. Though God will defend himself, it still angers me when there is such blatant lies and scandal. The scars and hurt that will be left will be there for years. I have seen many times churches having to shut down so that a renewal and time of healing can take place. – March 2, 2020 Robert’s public Facebook comment in reply to Randy

It is alleged that this minister from California was told to resign from the church (he is listed as pastor of more than one) by the Western District officials, who, after a trial in 2019, found him guilty of several sexually related charges. Yet as of the 2020 UPCI Directory, which was printed in January, as well as the UPCI online church locator in March, he is shown as a licensed ordained minister with his name listed as the pastor, though he is no longer mentioned as a District Presbyter, a position which was held for years.

If the information is accurate, I find this to be totally unacceptable due to the clearly stated rules in the UPCI Manual regarding ministers and sexual immorality. Let’s take a look at what it states. Under Article VII, Section 9 it says, “For the purpose of ministerial membership in the United Pentecostal Church International or for ministering in a United Pentecostal Church International church, immoral conduct shall be defined as adultery, fornication, homosexuality, incest, and/or any other sexual acts determined by the District Board to be perverted or immoral (Matthew 5:32; Matthew 19:9; I Corinthians 6:9; Romans 1:24-28). 2. Any minister affiliated with our organization proven guilty of adultery or fornication, or committing any other immoral offense, shall forfeit his or her papers immediately. Immoral offense shall include sexual molestation of minors.”

It appears that one of the greatest temptations facing the ministry is sex. How does sexual purity relate to God’s requirements? Sexual immorality is clearly excluded by the requirements of ‘blameless, good report, good behaviour, just, holy, and husband of one wife.’ Again, a sexual sin is an obvious disqualification in light of all the Scriptures. – David Bernard, January-March 1988 Forward (an exclusive magazine for UPCI licensed ministers)

Unfortunately, this isn’t the only case in the UPCI where a minister has retained, or later received, license after immoral conduct. Is this man permitted to retain his license because he married into a well-known ‘name’ in the organization? Should ministers be treated with kid gloves because of their pedigree or how much money the church may contribute? Rather, shouldn’t those with a legacy be expected to be held to a high standard, considering how organizations tend to place these people on a pedestal and parade them around as examples to be followed? What does this legacy even mean when people discover abuses or cover-ups? Would it not be best to openly and properly handle any legacy case, considering that much more harm is caused to any legacy by not doing so, because at some point the truth will be discovered and made known? And what does this say to other former ministers whose licenses were properly revoked due to immorality?

Just as the church has authority to examine and approve ministerial candidates, so it has authority to remove someone from a ministerial position if he no longer meets God’s requirements. Actually the person disqualifies himself by his actions, and the church simply recognizes this fact. – David Bernard, January-March 1988 Forward

It wasn’t too difficult to determine the name of this pastor and it appears there are many within the United Pentecostal Church who know, including licensed ministers and their spouses, some of whom have spoken up about what is happening. There is no way in which this news didn’t go all the way up the chain of command in the organization. General Superintendent David Bernard, it appears that you may need to intervene and do what is right and in accordance with your Manual, and strip this individual of their license, not allowing the legacy family he married into sway you in your decision. People ARE watching.

August 6, 2020 Note: Now that it has been publicly posted by one of the alleged victims, I can share that this article is about John Shivers, who is married to one of the daughters of the late Kenneth Haney. See Part 2 & Part 3.

August 24, 2022 edit: Today the Stockton Record released an article about John Shivers. You must have a digital subscription to read it. See https://www.recordnet.com/story/news/2022/08/24/pastor-john-shivers-accused-sexual-assault-preaching-stockton-centro-vida-pentecostal-church/5695797001/

You will find a complete list of articles in this series by clicking here.

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.

Hanging on by the roots

Sitting in church yesterday, I had one of those aha moments. You know one of those moments when another piece of the puzzle snaps in place. The preacher was talking about roots. How when he was a kid he tried to chop down a fig tree. He chopped it all the way down to the ground, but didn’t destroy the roots.

Now he might’ve been going in a completely different direction than me. But by then, me and God were having our own conversation. I have wondered, questioned, discussed with others why after all we’ve been through, with all the abuse, with all the confusion and false doctrine, why are we still able to hang on? Why have we been able to move on?

Now, don’t get me wrong. We still have a bad day sometimes, or something will trigger an emotion in us. But over all we are healing, we are able to minister to others. We are finding our place in Life. When I see people, friends, loved ones still caught up in the condemnation, shame, lies that they were told for so long, it hurts my heart. I want to fix it for them, but sadly, all I can do is support them and encourage them.

I think yesterday, I found the answer to that question for my life. Noting we aren’t all just alike, what works for me might not be for you. But I was just like that fig tree that was chopped to the ground. I spent 20 plus years oppressed, depressed, feeling hopeless in the situation. But, somehow in the midst of that I had roots. Not roots in the United Pentecostal Church, not roots in standards, or with a congregation or preacher. But, with God. See, he did come to me when I was searching, and I have a relationship with him, not man. I could’ve gone anywhere and lived for him. Sadly, I ended up at a UPCI church.

Thankfully my roots are grounded in him. In his grace, his mercy, his sacrifice, not in my works. And not in the opinion of man. Because of that I am able to stand. I am able to hold on. I’ve been able to see new life springing forth. If you feel chopped down, cut off, abandoned, dig a little deeper, brush away the debris of hurt, and hopelessness. Maybe you too can find that root coming up. And you can start fresh and new. If you have lost all, and have nothing left, just hang on to the root. And see how beautiful your brand new life can be.

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.

Blindsided: Afternoon Phone Calls with Pastor Andrew Ray and Douglas Stauffer

Following the message on Sunday morning and my post Sunday night, Douglas Stauffer’s voicemail, as well as his multiple demeaning and demanding messages from Sunday until Tuesday, Matt was finally off from work in the late afternoon/evening, and was able to call Pastor Andrew Ray on the phone, followed by Douglas Stauffer. This is a copy of Matthew Olds’ personal description of these phone calls, a document we listed in a file sent to several men of the church (witnesses of the last meeting) following our letter of resignation from membership at Antioch Baptist Church:

“These messages began shortly after the voicemail left on my phone (transcribed below). Pay attention to the times of these emails not allowing for any time to actually pray and respond to the current situation. In particular, [Doug Stauffer’s] third email the first night, a mere fifteen minutes after the first, he said, “And since you have seen my messages and have not done as I have asked in hiding this post until you have responded scripturally by meeting, this would seem to indicate that you feel justified….it is likely that your tirade is an attention seeking ploy….” Any attempts over the next few days to follow [Stauffer’s] requests for apologies were met with that nothing was acceptable, everything was supposedly an attack on the pastor, and Stauffer threatening that he would take things public.

During this time [Monday afternoon], I spoke with Pastor over the phone addressing the issue of whether we should be at church tonight as messages from Stauffer read as though we were being churched until the meeting with him could happen. Pastor said that he would rather that we be at any and all services, but to meet with Stauffer as soon as possible. I then called Stauffer and asked him about being churched, and he didn’t understand what I was talking about, but rather began complaining about my lack of responding to messages while I was at work. My job was very busy that day and I had a lot to do. As he continued to speak on my lack of responses, I had to repeat NUMEROUS [times] that I was at work and was unable to respond without stealing time from my boss. It would be unpleasing to the Lord. During the course of my day, what few responses I had mentioned about my work situation and that I would respond at the end of the day. Stauffer then spoke that he was not attempting to enact church discipline, but rather was saying it out of “Christian decency.” In which case, I mentioned that there is a difference between “MUST” and “should”/ ”needs to.” One speaks of decency. One speaks of church discipline. He then said that he still wanted to meet with me when we got there. We were unable to attend that night as my wife and I had a lot to process through and discuss.”

In this series I share my thoughts and opinions concerning these ministers and the events which led to my departure. Click here to continue reading: “Blindsided: Continuation of Messages between Matthew Olds and Pastor Andrew Ray” or click on the link below.

For a list of the complete series, click here.

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.

Blindsided: Private Messages Between Matthew Olds and Pastor Andrew Ray

Although I lost all respect for Douglas Stauffer over the last few years, Andrew Ray was my pastor. He was the one who helped us when we needed to find a church home, supported us when Matt was set to not receive his diploma, counseled us for hours because of my brokenness following previous spiritual abuse, and was there when we returned from Africa and we had to postpone missions work for the unforeseeable future because of the PTSD. Even though there were the red flags I mentioned earlier, I pushed them aside thinking of Pastor’s character and what we knew of his heart. It was not until after my post that we learned that Pastor Ray and his wife were at the center of the various families who left Antioch Baptist Church, so while we did not agree with every decision or statement, we still supported him as he dealt with various circumstances of the ministry.

I say all of that to say this: This message from Pastor Andrew Ray cut deep for both of us. We had no idea that the meeting from the fall about his family was entirely connected to this situation, and we had no idea that his meek and mild teenage daughter was one of the people severely hurt. I never intended for her to get hurt. On the other hand, however, the man who we still supported and trusted, our pastor of four years, said he saw “the writing on the wall” and disassociated us from his family? Douglas Stauffer needed to be called out for his actions, but I never intended for any one else to get hurt in the crossfires.

**Names marked with an asterisk (*) have been changed for the privacy of individuals and their families**

Private Facebook Messages between Matt Olds and Andrew Ray

Andrew (Ray) (June 3 at 11:21am): Good morning Brother Matt! I hope you are doing well today. I wanted to reach out to you and let you know that I saw the post from Sister Crystal last night and was greatly discouraged by its contents. Not only did I see it, but a good number of people from our church were also disheartened by it. I was glad to see that it got pulled sometime in the late hours, but not before it gave great space to people to think critical thoughts of our church. That is a very serious matter.

It is obvious that the post was directed against Brother Stauffer and yet I wonder if any attempt was made to speak to him before the post was made. If not, Sister Crystal became guilty of the very thing she accused Brother Stauffer of doing. I know first-hand that Brother Stauffer spent HOURS with the vast majority of the people that left and that he did try to help a good number of those people until it became obvious that they NEEDED to leave. In fact, some of those people are already experiencing new troubles at their new church.

I am trusting that you and Crystal will make this right with Brother Stauffer. Truly, an apology is owed him and really the church, but let’s start with Brother Stauffer. After all, he did do, in most cases, what Crystal said should be done and I did so with all the others except for those who offered no real opportunity.

I actually saw this coming, to be honest. Sometime back, it was brought to my attention that you all have been fellowshipping quite a bit with some who have left. As a man with a family, I could see the handwriting on the wall of how that would adversely affect Sister Crystal. I think now we are seeing the fruit of that. I AM NOT THE HEAD OF YOUR HOUSEHOLD and can only advise, but if you want to change the course of criticism and negativity. I would recommend that you break off those ties. You have only heard one side of the issues because I have refused to speak ill of those who left.

As a result of the negativity and assumptive nature of Sister Crystal’s post, I am going to remove her as a friend from my family’s FB accounts. In particularly, that was very detrimental for my daughter to see. Much confidence in and respect for has been lost for Crystal, especially when you all know so little of what truly transpired from September to the end of the year. That post last night hurt Mary [named changed for privacy] deeply and felt like betrayal from someone who had no idea how much hypocrisy got demonstrated against her less than a year ago. I could tell you all that happened, but that would make me stoop to the level of those who sought to hurt our church, my family, and destroy the Lord’s work out of our church that is going on all across the world. I refuse to rehash everything and tell you what all was done, but apparently those who left are still at work.

In fact, they showed themselves on two different fronts yesterday alone. A connection to some who left popped up yesterday to stir up trouble and I had to counsel a young person through it. I promise you the portrayal of innocence is FAR FROM TRUE.

I love you brother and know you will do the right thing!

Philemon 21 Having confidence in this obedience I wrote unto thee, knowing that thou wilt also do more than I say.

Matt (June 4 at 12:13pm): Accidentally hit the like button when attempting to scroll. I am at work and have not had a moment’s notice to see/read anything. I already told Doc Doug that I will reach out to him while I am [on] break. I then asked him to stop messaging me at work. I will read and address ALL of this when I have time. Thank you.

Andrew: Thank you brother. I will let you be.

Matt (June 4 at 1:57pm): Still have not been on break, but doc doug said that church discipline is taking place until we are all able to meet. It has not been mentioned from the Leader of the church so I thought I would confirm it through you.

Is this accurate?

I have to return to work and will be checking for a response later.

Andrew (June 4 at 2:08pm): All that I have stated is that sister Olds will not serve in the nursery tonight and we will not have you greet tonight. If you have read sister Crystal’s post, I would assume you would understand why. Her post has sent much frustration through the congregation. In the least, brother Stauffer deserves an apology, but in reality the church deserves an apology.

[Last part of messages between Andrew Ray and Matthew Olds will be posted in “Continuation of Messages Between Matthew Olds and Pastor Andrew Ray“]

In this series I share my thoughts and opinions concerning these ministers and the events which led to my departure. Click here to continue reading: “Blindsided: Afternoon Phone Calls with Pastor Andrew Ray and Douglas Stauffer” or click on the link below.

For a list of the complete series, click here.

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.

Finding Jesus

My journey began, as I’m sure most of yours did, searching for Jesus. Finding out his true character has been a 20 plus year journey for me. I was in my twenties with two children. An abusive husband and a longing for love, purpose and escape from the pain. We got invited to a United Pentecostal church. I had not grown up consistently going to church. I knew basics and my mom had taught me about Jesus, but I’d never had the experiences that come with teaching.

My first thought of these people were man, these people are crazy! But, as with most, they started out so loving. Giving lots of attention, time, clothes, etc. Looking back, now I realize there were a lot of inconsistencies and red flags but I was enjoying the love there as opposed to what I was living at home, so I didn’t notice. At first things weren’t as crazy. We sang at different churches. We still visited our family that wasn’t UPCI. Yes, my dress had changed. All the ‘standards‘ I was now abiding by. I had the Bible study with the few scriptures they used to support it. Of course it really shouldn’t be called a study because now after lots of study and prayer I see where those scriptures are taken out of context. But then I would’ve believed anything they said. And I did.

After the new wore off I started to notice that people weren’t treated equally, depending on who you were the ‘rules’ were changed. I figured out questioning wasn’t an option. You NEVER questioned leadership or the humiliation over the pulpit would be extreme. Years passed with many trials and hurts. But, this was the Christian life right? Anyone who didn’t believe as we did were lost, convicted, or persecuting us.

The pastor made the decision to withdraw from the UPCI. Many of his friends were doing the same. Basically that meant he had no one to answer to so he could do as he pleased. Oh, he had a board of elders, all filled with his best friends that supported him in everything. So basically that was all for show. The standards all of a sudden started changing. Only 3/4 length sleeves. No splits, hose at church always, no hair down, no perms, men could only wear white shirts to church. It changed it seemed every month or so. It got so bad people would be asking each other if this or that was OK. Then you would see the pastor’s daughter wearing something that someone else got sent home for. It was all so confusing.

We were no longer allowed to fellowship our ‘unsaved’ family, which meant not believing as we did. The one good thing in all these years was I had divorced my abusive, unfaithful ex-husband. And married my now husband of almost 18 years. (remember this part as it plays a vital role in us leaving, years later) We were married in the pastor’s office by him. My children grew up. I had four by then; three biological, one bonus. My boys both got kicked out of the church school. They had learning problems and their answer for that was to just spank them more. They weren’t getting enough discipline.

That was his answer for most things. More spankings, or praying more cause they had a spirit. Excessive baby crying was a spirit. Unless it was his grand-baby.

As soon as my bonus son turned 18, he left home. When my other son was 16, he went to live with my mom to escape from the abuse at church. For eight years. We rarely saw him or talked to him, if we did or if someone thought we did, he talked about us over the pulpit.

My oldest daughter married a guy in the church that had three children. She basically felt forced to marry him, was strongly encouraged by leadership and she felt as if she had no choice. She went through five years of emotional, physical, spiritual abuse. No one at church would believe her. She had black eyes, a bruised neck, he would have her going crazy, emotionally distraught, then video her and send it to the pastor. So the next service he would get over the pulpit and humiliate her and say how full of the devil she was. She almost had a mental breakdown from the abuse at home and church. We were both humiliated constantly. I was accused of interfering with her marriage because I encouraged her to go to the police. Her baby girl was said to have a devil because she was a fussy baby and wanted to nurse too much. That was her comfort for the home life she had.

Finally we went to authorities and got a restraining order for a year and after two years, she was finally ‘allowed’ to divorce him. Not long afterwards the pastor made a new rule that anyone ever married before could never marry again. She was 25 yrs old. Now remember that me and several other couples had been married before, but his answer for that was that even if it was a sin for us, that sin was on him. He told us it was OK so it was. As long as he told us.

We were told we could never be saved at any other church. If we left there, our family was cursed. He said he was the only preacher in the whole state of Mississippi that was right. That church was the only one that was right and preaching truth. After many situations, lies and abuses, we finally left. I began studying everything I had been taught for over 20 yrs. It was both scary, exciting, enlightening and freeing!

My family and I are all involved in church. A Bible believing, grace teaching, loving church, that is teaching that Jesus loves us and that salvation isn’t earned. We can’t dress or act ‘holy’ enough to be worthy of salvation. It’s all because of Jesus and his love for us. We live free! No more condemnation, humiliation. Just joy, grace and freedom. We help as many as we can that are escaping the cult, as we call it. It hasn’t all been easy but it has all been worth it. There is hope, our prayer is that others find hope and healing as we have.

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.