Below, one will find the first set of messages between Douglas Stauffer, Matt Olds, and Crystal Olds (me) that started with Stauffer messaging us multiple times on Sunday evening, June 3, 2018, and ended at the time my husband came home on Monday evening, June 4, 2018. I would first like to draw your attention to the timeline of not only his voicemail and messages late into the evening (close to midnight), but also to how quickly he switched to accusing me of not heeding his “counsel,” merely fifteen minutes after his previous private message.
The harassment continued well into Monday morning and afternoon- and even into Tuesday- as Doug Stauffer continued to harass my husband for a response, despite Matt saying he was at work, to not contact him, and that he would call/message them when he was on break and when he was off from work. Even in the phone call in the afternoon between Matt and Stauffer, Stauffer repeatedly rebuked Matt for not responding sooner.
While Stauffer was esteemed, he did not- and never held- a place of authority at our church, though he attempted to twist Pastor Andrew Ray’s words to say that we “MUST” meet before my family attended any further services. We already did not attend the Bible Conference in the mornings because of Matt’s occupation and the fact that we had three young children, but we decided stay home for the Monday evening service, for Matt and I to finally be able to discuss Stauffer’s ridiculous comments during the day, as well as Pastor Ray’s messages that I did not know about at the time.
Facebook Messenger: Crystal Olds, Matthew Olds, and Douglas Stauffer
Douglas (Stauffer) (June 3 at 11:21pm): It is 11PM and I just left Matt a 3 ½ minute message on your phone. I am shocked at this method of creating “unity” in the church. You get upset at something that is said and you air those grievances on FB rather than going to the person directly? This is what you wrote:
“I know of families in times past (not recently) that have left literally for the sake of unity and to end the discord. Isn’t Matthew 18 about IF YOU HAVE AN ISSUE WITH A BROTHER, TAKE IT TO THEM, etc and then if they won’t hear one, then before two or three witnesses, then let them be accursed?
Did you not fail in the very point that you made? This hypocrisy is also condemned and creating the very discord that you are condemning. The problem is that we can assess other people’s problems and turn a blind eye toward our own.
We need to need to meet tomorrow. My phone number is ***-***-****. I know that you are close to some of those who have left and that is fine. I had lunch with one couple recently and recently commented on an anniversary post of another.
I do not harbor any hard feelings toward ANYONE that left; however, I think any of them bashing the church is wicked. Additionally, I do not view the situation like you do because I also know so much more about some of the details concerning how a situation was blown out of proportion in order to leave. The church needs to be unified and I do not know one person that left over doctrinal matters.
You can choose this FB mode of dividing the church but I can promise you that you are not more innocent than anyone that something that you did not like. Maybe what was said in your view was ill-advised and for that I apologize, but I hope you also see that your divisive comments are quite the same.
Douglas (June 3 at 11:21pm): Furthermore, I suggest you take down the post in the mean time or hide it until we can meet. After we meet you will have taken the matter (so to speak) to me and be more free to use FB for this mode of communicating grievances. Personally, I think it is the 21st century definition of 1 Corinthians chapter 3.
Douglas (June 3 at 11:36pm): And since you have seen my messages and not done as I have asked in hiding this post until you have responded scripturally by meeting this would seem to indicate you feel justified in how you have handled the situation. It is likely that your public tirade is just an attention seeking ploy rather than an attempt to fix what you perceive is a wrong. Don’t you have the responsibility to do as Matthew 18 instructs? Or do you think God created Facebook for disgruntled church members to spout their disagreements for the world- lost and saved- to see?
Crystal (June 4 at 12:41am): [Thumbs up]
Crystal (June 4 at 12:41am): Accidentally hit the “like”
Douglas (June 4 at 8:37am): We need to meet today before the services. What is most convenient for you?
Matt (Matthew Olds) (June 4 at 9:06am): I am working and cannot talk at this time. I will call you when I am on break.
Douglas (June 4 at 9:06am): [Thumbs up}
Douglas (June 4 at 11:44am): Unfortunately, I was just told that the comments were simply hidden from view from a select group rather than deleted or completely blocked from any view. That is a shame because now the focus is upon this divisive FB post and putting a damper on the whole meeting.
We have found replacements for the nursery and greeter tonight and we MUST meet prior to your attending any further services.
I guess I am shocked at the quote of going to the person first when the person making the comments is guilty of that very sin.
Matt (June 4): Again I am at work. I do not know what you are talking about. I have not even been able to look at these “comments.” I will call when I am on break and we will discuss a [possible] time to meet. I do not know when it will be as this week is proving to be very busy. Please stop messaging me while I am work. I will call you. Thanks
Matt (June 4): Due to my line of work, I am not sure when my break will be…
Crystal (June 4 at 12:06pm): I will step in and say that I was looking at changing the privacy and thought I had just exited out of it because I got interrupted. It’s back to how it was before now. Thank you for letting me know.
Crystal (June 4 at 1:29pm): I misread your comment earlier. Pastor has made a replacement for nursery and greeting?
Douglas (June 4 at 3:22pm): I will answer your question and explain a bit although Matt has asked for this not to happen while he is at work. We need to meet before service attendance by you. You have hurt many people that were hurt by some of the people you felt compelled to defend publicly because you took offense to a statement made in response to a meeting recently that you know nothing about.
The problem is that you don’t know the history behind anything. you have simply chosen to post a divisive comment against a member(s) in your church and then hide the comment from us (and presumably Matt since he said he too could not see the comment) yet others who were not excluded from seeing it. You were asked to take it down and rejected that counsel.
We have a very serious problem and one that will require some maturity and humility on your part. At present, I understand that replacements have been found for the greeting and the nursery tonight since no signs of reconciling have been offered.
You really have no clue as to the young people affected by your facebook post and you [may] never because generally these things are NOT put forth publicly by those who know since it is not wise to use this forum to make everyone aware of all the sordid details.
Matt (June 4 at 4:29pm): So is this “church discipline” coming from you or pastor?
Douglas (June 4 at 5:05pm): Matt: What is the “church discipline” that you are referring to? If Bro. Ray made the decision that he feels that such an egregious act means that he does not want you or your wife involved in things until there is some sort of recognition of the wrong, would you find this unreasonable? I guess we are a bit surprised at this response for someone so disgruntled to publicly voice such opposition to the preaching in one’s home church. That was one statement made that was off the cuff and reflected upon a meeting I had reaching out to someone that had left and I left the meeting disgusted with how they bashed the song book and those working on it. Preachers are human too.
(I wrote this you before you called.)
Matt (June 4 at 5:36pm): Ok. My wife and I are talking now.
In this series I share my thoughts and opinions concerning these ministers and the events which led to my departure. Click here to continue reading: “Blindsided: Private Messages Between Matthew Olds and Pastor Andrew Ray” or click on the link below.
For a list of the complete series, click here.
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