Although I lost all respect for Douglas Stauffer over the last few years, Andrew Ray was my pastor. He was the one who helped us when we needed to find a church home, supported us when Matt was set to not receive his diploma, counseled us for hours because of my brokenness following previous spiritual abuse, and was there when we returned from Africa and we had to postpone missions work for the unforeseeable future because of the PTSD. Even though there were the red flags I mentioned earlier, I pushed them aside thinking of Pastor’s character and what we knew of his heart. It was not until after my post that we learned that Pastor Ray and his wife were at the center of the various families who left Antioch Baptist Church, so while we did not agree with every decision or statement, we still supported him as he dealt with various circumstances of the ministry.
I say all of that to say this: This message from Pastor Andrew Ray cut deep for both of us. We had no idea that the meeting from the fall about his family was entirely connected to this situation, and we had no idea that his meek and mild teenage daughter was one of the people severely hurt. I never intended for her to get hurt. On the other hand, however, the man who we still supported and trusted, our pastor of four years, said he saw “the writing on the wall” and disassociated us from his family? Douglas Stauffer needed to be called out for his actions, but I never intended for any one else to get hurt in the crossfires.
**Names marked with an asterisk (*) have been changed for the privacy of individuals and their families**
Private Facebook Messages between Matt Olds and Andrew Ray
Andrew (Ray) (June 3 at 11:21am): Good morning Brother Matt! I hope you are doing well today. I wanted to reach out to you and let you know that I saw the post from Sister Crystal last night and was greatly discouraged by its contents. Not only did I see it, but a good number of people from our church were also disheartened by it. I was glad to see that it got pulled sometime in the late hours, but not before it gave great space to people to think critical thoughts of our church. That is a very serious matter.
It is obvious that the post was directed against Brother Stauffer and yet I wonder if any attempt was made to speak to him before the post was made. If not, Sister Crystal became guilty of the very thing she accused Brother Stauffer of doing. I know first-hand that Brother Stauffer spent HOURS with the vast majority of the people that left and that he did try to help a good number of those people until it became obvious that they NEEDED to leave. In fact, some of those people are already experiencing new troubles at their new church.
I am trusting that you and Crystal will make this right with Brother Stauffer. Truly, an apology is owed him and really the church, but let’s start with Brother Stauffer. After all, he did do, in most cases, what Crystal said should be done and I did so with all the others except for those who offered no real opportunity.
I actually saw this coming, to be honest. Sometime back, it was brought to my attention that you all have been fellowshipping quite a bit with some who have left. As a man with a family, I could see the handwriting on the wall of how that would adversely affect Sister Crystal. I think now we are seeing the fruit of that. I AM NOT THE HEAD OF YOUR HOUSEHOLD and can only advise, but if you want to change the course of criticism and negativity. I would recommend that you break off those ties. You have only heard one side of the issues because I have refused to speak ill of those who left.
As a result of the negativity and assumptive nature of Sister Crystal’s post, I am going to remove her as a friend from my family’s FB accounts. In particularly, that was very detrimental for my daughter to see. Much confidence in and respect for has been lost for Crystal, especially when you all know so little of what truly transpired from September to the end of the year. That post last night hurt Mary [named changed for privacy] deeply and felt like betrayal from someone who had no idea how much hypocrisy got demonstrated against her less than a year ago. I could tell you all that happened, but that would make me stoop to the level of those who sought to hurt our church, my family, and destroy the Lord’s work out of our church that is going on all across the world. I refuse to rehash everything and tell you what all was done, but apparently those who left are still at work.
In fact, they showed themselves on two different fronts yesterday alone. A connection to some who left popped up yesterday to stir up trouble and I had to counsel a young person through it. I promise you the portrayal of innocence is FAR FROM TRUE.
I love you brother and know you will do the right thing!
Philemon 21 Having confidence in this obedience I wrote unto thee, knowing that thou wilt also do more than I say.
Matt (June 4 at 12:13pm): Accidentally hit the like button when attempting to scroll. I am at work and have not had a moment’s notice to see/read anything. I already told Doc Doug that I will reach out to him while I am [on] break. I then asked him to stop messaging me at work. I will read and address ALL of this when I have time. Thank you.
Andrew: Thank you brother. I will let you be.
Matt (June 4 at 1:57pm): Still have not been on break, but doc doug said that church discipline is taking place until we are all able to meet. It has not been mentioned from the Leader of the church so I thought I would confirm it through you.
Is this accurate?
I have to return to work and will be checking for a response later.
Andrew (June 4 at 2:08pm): All that I have stated is that sister Olds will not serve in the nursery tonight and we will not have you greet tonight. If you have read sister Crystal’s post, I would assume you would understand why. Her post has sent much frustration through the congregation. In the least, brother Stauffer deserves an apology, but in reality the church deserves an apology.
[Last part of messages between Andrew Ray and Matthew Olds will be posted in “Continuation of Messages Between Matthew Olds and Pastor Andrew Ray“]
In this series I share my thoughts and opinions concerning these ministers and the events which led to my departure. Click here to continue reading: “Blindsided: Afternoon Phone Calls with Pastor Andrew Ray and Douglas Stauffer” or click on the link below.
For a list of the complete series, click here.
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