Already emotional from the stress of Douglas Stauffer’s messages not being allowed to explain or defend myself, my heart broke when Matthew Olds showed me the messages from Pastor Andrew Ray on Monday evening. I still firmly believed Stauffer’s actions were wrong, his messages manipulative and deceitful, and that he needed to be held accountable for his actions, but I never meant the heartache it caused my pastor’s family or the teens in our church, especially not the pastor’s daughter, Mary*. I truly believed Stauffer was behind several of the people leaving, and I could not understand how my post blew out of proportion to hurting my entire church. That evening, I wrote a public apology for Facebook and took down my first post. I also created a Facebook Messenger group with Doug Stauffer, Andrew Ray, Matt Olds, and myself, to apologize again and let them know a public apology was online.
My friend’s responses were encouraging and helpful as my head went around in circles trying to figure out the whirlwind around me. In response to a comment on my public apology, Walter Gibson* commented within the ongoing discussion and I sent him a private message about the current situation, giving very little detail. Our conversation was peaceful, cordial and friendly, just as interactions between our families had always been at church. Walter Gibson’s* commenting, however, is important to note because Pastor Andrew Ray will bring this up in a later meeting to say Walter Gibson* is probably the first person that Matthew Olds should apologize to before continuing on to the other men of the church and inquiring as to whom he should apologize to next.
As will be shown in the next set of messages, Stauffer again twisted my words to say that the public apology [shown below] placed the blame on Pastor Ray and made me the victim. As a result, near the end of the comments, my husband requested that people refrain from commenting further and the post had to be replaced once again.
**Names marked with an asterisk (*) have been changed for the privacy of individuals and their families**
Crystal Olds (Jun 4- PM) I have taken down my previous post because Pastor informed us that people were hurt by it because it re-opened wounds. That was never my intent and I truly apologize for that. You guys are our church family and it was never meant to take sides between who was right and who was wrong between those who left, and those who are still here. In fact, anyone that we have fellowshipped with and are close to that have left, have done their best to uplift the members of Antioch and to try not to say anything negative about the church, despite any hurt that they may have endured as well.
Will Hess: Your original post was encouraging unity and uplifting fallen brethren, correct? I don’t know how anyone would be offended by that…
Will Hess (Replying to Will Hess): Maybe what people are feeling is conviction so are rejecting that conviction and instead choosing to be offended.
Commenter #1 Wow that makes me really sad. I would hate to think I could not speak my mind in a loving way without someone being offended. You’re prob going to get scolded for this post too. ☹
Commenter #2 (Replying to Commenter# 1): Some leaders cannot take anyone voicing their opinions when it differs from theirs.
Walter Gibson* (Antioch Baptist Church Member): Read carefully. It is not his opinion that was voiced but others. Pleas make sure all context is considered in this situation.
Commenter #2 (Replying to Walter Gibson*): I stand by what I wrote and could say a whole lot more but won’t do so here.
Walter Gibson* (Replying to Commenter# 1): I understand and respect that. I could also do the same…
Crystal Olds (Replying to Walter Gibson*): Walter Gibson*was there a men’s meeting?
Walter Gibson* (Replying to Crystal Olds): No. Nothing of the sorts. I just wanted to make sure context was being considered. The best thing is probably all involved (self included) stepping back and taking a chill pill. I think this is the whole point of 1 Corinthians 3 this week. Put aside differences and just move forward.
Crystal Olds (Replying to Walter Gibson*): [Walter Gibson*] Thank you, and completely agreed on all points… I want to supply context, but I fear it would only make matters worse in the process of trying to make things right. I mentioned Pastor because he did bring to our attention how my initial post hurt others in the church and I’m glad that he did so we can try to make that right. For context, my initial post was NOT about pastor.
Commenter #3 (Replying to Commenter #2): It seems people today are easily offended by any and everything.
Commenter #2 (Replying to Commenter #1): There was nothing bad about Crystal’s original post.
Crystal Olds (Replying to Commenter #2): This was just updating a minute ago (your comment was about ten minutes ago), but my husband is asking that all people please stop commenting. His comment is at the bottom.
Miranda Crawford* :You have a precious heart, Crystal.
Commenter #5: People need to toughen up and move on with their lives. Here we are supposedly warriors for Christ… but words hurt.
Crystal Olds: For the sake of context, as I just said in another comment, I want to supply context but I fear it would only make matters worse in the process of trying to make things right. I mentioned Pastor because he did bring to our attention how my initial post…
Jeremy Crawford* (Replying to Crystal Olds): Oh, by the way, it wasn’t you that opened up the old wounds… was it?
Matt Olds: I only have a moment while I am on break, [to inform] that my wife will also be taking this down per her Authority’s request (that is to say, her hubby). She has to get the kiddos fed and in bed and that takes a lot of attention at their ages. Please refrain from responding on it as others are being hurt. I am sorry that all sides are hurting. It is not the Pastor that has said anything. He has been good and gracious. My aim and prayer is still that of reconciliation.
In this series I share my thoughts and opinions concerning these ministers and the events which led to my departure. Click here to continue reading: “Blindsided: Douglas Stauffer Twists Crystal Olds’ Public Apology” or click on the link below.
For a list of the complete series, click here.
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