Have you ever stopped to consider how your unhealthy church involvement affected more than just you? Stop and think about that. It doesn’t matter if you were single or married, an adult or child, born into it or you entered on your own later in life – your unhealthy church did more than affect you, but it also reached out to others you knew, be it family, friends or co-workers. We often talk about what it did to us who were members, but it did more than mess with us.
For some, it brought about a marriage that never would have happened if they were not members of the church & for others it brought about a divorce because one party felt unequally yoked. Others cut off family and friends because they would not join or were considered backslid, while some considered the church members more of a family than their natural family and therefore neglected family members. Church events were always more important.
Some members relentlessly witnessed to others, causing them to lose friends and even jobs. Others developed a holier-than-thou attitude, causing other divisions with family and friends, because they felt better and superior to outsiders. Even churches of a same group will play the holier-than-thou game, and dismiss similar churches and ministers simply because they differ in some beliefs.
For those with children, the unhealthy church may influence them to stifle their child’s interests if they happen to conflict with a church belief. The child who does not wish to be part of the church may be told they have to find another place to live. On the other hand, sometimes the parents are not members and kick the child out because they do not want them attending the church.
I could go on and on about the multitude of ways that being involved in an unhealthy church affects more than just you. It hits husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, children, siblings, other family members, friends, co-workers, employers, employees, neighbors, classmates, acquaintances and even strangers.
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Families were not allowed to watch TV or have televisions in their home. Their children once graduated from high school we’re not allowed to wear class rings or go to their proms, which is a right of passage for young people. Women had to find husbands within that organization, so therefore they marry men that they wouldn’t normally look at because they wanted to be married. Most of the time the marriages did not last.
The members of the church were dictated to on what they could and could not do and what they could and could not wear, but mostly it was the women they could not cut their hair they could not wear jewelry they could not wear pants they had the wear long sleeves, covering their elbows. They had to wear skirts all the way down to their ankles, practically or covered half of their Calf. And was love to think that this was a matter of heaven or hell if you didn’t do this because this is what the Bible say do you were going to hell and me personally I do not attend the church anymore, but I am left with nightmares thoughts almost every day about whether or not I’m gonna go to heaven or hell if I wear jewelry, tormented by these thoughts. I have been admitted to different hospitals because I didn’t know whether or not I would make it because I knew I was going to hell because of everything I was taught for 37 years. how in the world can someone mess a person up like this? I also have had long hours With therapist about the abuse that I encountered at Abundant Life Church.