Multiple bloggers sharing, educating and supporting those who have been in unhealthy churches.

Author: AJ

Woe to Me or Woe to You?

Last Sunday’s readings used in many liturgical churches included 1 Corinthians 9:16-23. In all honesty, what sticks out for me the most when I encounter this passage isn’t anything I associate with something preached from a pulpit. Rather, it’s a heated online exchange…

I’m Religious? That’s News to Me

This might seem a little lighter than most of my previous posts, but it brings up an important issue that I think many of us can identify with. Does the popular convention of “religious” really say a lot about what goes on in…

Keeping the Peace: Will It Drive You Mad?

I think many of us probably feel as though being a “peacekeeper” is nothing to feel blessed about. It seems like the holiday season, in particular, brings out the very worst in people. How can you cope when you’re dealing with the stress that…

Is Your Church a Safe Zone or a Red Flag?

A lot of people suffer from a bit of shortsightedness in regards to their local congregations when it comes to spiritual abuse survivors. I can’t speak for those in fundamentalist/evangelical/charismatic settings, but in my own experiences within liberal mainline Christianity, I think a…

Forgiveness and boundaries revisited

A visitor to my blog once asked if forgiving someone for an offense means you must act as though it never happened, especially when the issue in question involves physical or emotional abuse. My answer to this was no, and here’s why. ‎I…

Irrational Fear of Loved Ones “Left Behind”

In previous posts, I’ve mentioned a little about some of the toxic beliefs my stepdad’s deceased adoptive mother espoused. Seeing how the beliefs that she had impacted how she dealt with people has helped make me understand some of his antagonism towards that…

When No Must Mean No: Setting Boundaries

It’s kind of odd, when you think about it, that people who otherwise have strong convictions on issues such as religion can be somewhat ambiguous when it comes to expressing disagreement, largely out of fear of offending someone. Nobody wants to have a…

Yes, There is Always Hope

So far, I’ve written about my stepdad’s difficulties with church that have arisen because of his toxic religious upbringing, his adoptive mother’s unhealthy beliefs, and issues with United Pentecostal Church family members. Now, I’d like to focus on the positive – a few…