I just wasn’t feeling it today. Maybe I missed the memo. It’s Easter. I should be excited. But like Thomas I’m just not quite there yet. And like Thomas, when others are saying, “Look, there’s hope! Here’s joy!” I’m asking to see it and feel it first. Before I celebrate, I want to know there’s really a reason because images and sounds of all the reasons not to are still too fresh in my mind. Or maybe I know there will be a time when I can celebrate again, but I’m not so sure that time is now.
Give me time. It’s OK to hang back, to want to be sure, or not to take others’ word for something that sounds too outrageous to be true. After everything that’s happened those saying it’s all OK could be a bit delusional. Or maybe not. Giving it time is OK. If Christ is risen, he’ll still be risen in a few more hours or a few more days. There will be time to celebrate. But maybe not yet.
I don’t think anyone was angry at Thomas that day. No one said “shake yourself out of it!” I’m not sure anyone even pressured him to take their word for it. Surely no one was frustrated because Thomas wasn’t on their timeline, their schedule. They were still pretty surprised themselves. Whispered stories. “Did I imagine it?” “No, I heard Peter…” “Yeah, and Mary said…” “Cleopas was on this road and…”
Did he eat? Did he touch you? He just appeared — the doors were locked! A ghost? A vision? Are we crazy?
Yeah, there was excitement, but I suspect it was still hushed and that there were more than a few doubts even among those who’d seen Him. So I don’t think anyone was bothered by Thomas’ statement that he’d need to see Jesus himself and touch the wounds — to experience joy, he would need to see a reason for hope but also fully experience the pain. There is nothing wrong with that. It’s actually a pretty wise thing to do.
And the thing is, when Jesus did appear, apparently Thomas didn’t need to touch him anymore. But Jesus was willing to go as far as necessary for Thomas’s hope and joy to be restored. May we all find that kind of resurrection in our own lives.
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