Author: Lois | Page 52 | Spiritual Abuse Blogs

A Woman’s View On Spiritual Abuse

This is a video on spiritual abuse from a woman. She shares her experiences in a Pentecostal Word of Faith type church.

Video On Defining Spiritual Abuse

This is a 7.5 minute video on defining spiritual abuse. Cindy Kunsman explains the basic concepts of David Henke’s model of spiritual abuse.

Examining Teachings #1: Drunk In The Spirit?

You may have seen people in Pentecostal type churches, acting like they were drunk during a service. Perhaps even the minister said something like, “We all need to get drunk in the Spirit!” Is this thought biblical? What passage is used to justify such behavior?

This is a good area to examine as there is a teaching that because some onlookers referred to those on the day of Pentecost as being drunk (Acts 2), that it must mean they were exhibiting drunken behavior such as we see allowed in some churches today. I believe this is far, far from the truth.

Since the Bible warns us against drunkenness, why would God cause a behavior which would make us appear to be exactly what he tells us we should not be? Stop and think about it. It makes no sense. The Bible warns us to abstain from the appearance of evil in 1 Thessalonians 5:22. In Galatians 5, we see a list of some of the acts of a sinful nature and drunkenness is listed. Furthermore, we see no biblical instances which show the type of behavior seen today which is termed being drunk in the Spirit.

Let’s look at Acts 2. Verse two shows us that they were sitting when the Holy Spirit came upon them. So what attracted others to go and see what was happening? Verse five says it was because the crowd heard the believers speaking in their own languages. If you were in a different country and heard someone speaking your language instead of that of the country you were visiting, it would likewise get your attention. It doesn’t mention anyone was slurring their speech or stumbling around or acting incoherent, laughing like people often do when they are drunk, or passed out on the floor. What attracted them was the sound they heard as they were hearing their native languages being spoken. This is made very clear in the passage.

This stirred conversation. They knew the believers shouldn’t be speaking in their languages. They questioned why and what it meant. This is when some mocked and proclaimed they had too much to drink. That remark was in reference to the speaking in tongues that they heard and not any drunken type behavior. Nowhere in Acts does it show believers as exhibiting any evidence of possible drunkenness.

Haven’t we ever heard someone give a lame reason for something which they observed but couldn’t understand? How would being drunk cause someone to be able to speak a foreign language they did not know? In no way does this passage give any indication that the believers were acting in a drunken manner as some teach today. This is when Peter and the other apostles stood up while Peter proclaimed Jesus to them and let them know that drunkenness had nothing to do with what was happening.

This teaching is one which really bothers me. The Bible is clear about the issue of drunkenness and being careful when drinking and that those who follow Christ should not drink excessively. It is evidence of our sinful nature, the works of the flesh, and not the fruit of the Spirit. There is absolutely no way that God would teach against this and then cause believers to act like they just finished drinking several Long Islands.

Some may also be interested in reading a related article: The Presence of God.

Examining Teachings #1: Drunk In The Spirit?
Examining Teachings #2: Jezebel and Shamefaced
Examining Teachings #3: Peculiar And Separate
Examining Teachings #4: What Must I Do To Be Saved?
Examining Teachings #5: Faith Without Works Is Dead

Let Me Off The Roller Coaster!

Roller coasters- innumerable people love taking rides on all types of roller coasters. There’s the smaller and more mild ones for the young and those starting out. Then there are enormous ones with all manner of twists and loops that test how well you can hold down your food.

There is another roller coaster ride that isn’t fun but is frustrating and never ending: It is the performance trap roller coaster found in unhealthy churches. When you board this ride, they don’t let you off and it takes away your joy.

When people attempt to earn their righteousness or somehow earn favor or acceptance with God through their actions, they will always struggle. That is because it simply cannot be done. We either accept by faith the righteousness God gives us or we attempt to earn it ourselves. Since we are imperfect people and we often mess up and fall short, we will never feel complete and lasting peace attempting to follow God in this manner. Worse yet, our efforts are in vain as we cannot make ourselves righteous.

When you fail, you feel bad and wonder if perhaps God will reject or think less of you. Then maybe you have a good day or service and feel better. All too soon the down side comes again as you don’t live up to the performance expected. It’s a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. Many often wonder if they will even make it to heaven.

This is not what a Christian life is supposed to be like. Our salvation is not based upon our performance, but upon the completed work of Jesus on Calvary. He paid the full price for all our sins and mess ups. There is nothing we can do to achieve what He already accomplished. And there is nothing you can do to cause God to love you or love you more. He already loves you. He expressed that love when Jesus paid the price you owed for your sins. Yes, even before you were born, He saw ahead and loved you.

There is hope outside of the performance trap roller coaster ride. There is life- more abundant life in Christ!

Being Subject One To Another- Including Ministers

Here is a biblical principle every Christian needs to learn- we are to be subject one to another. That includes people in leadership positions. That includes ministers and pastors. It means every Christian. I do believe God calls people to be ministers and also gives them some authority if He calls them to pastor. And at the same time, every believer has authority from God.

God doesn’t love those in the ministry more than He does all other believers. There is no big me and little you in the body of Christ. (Read 1 Corinthians 12.) We are all fitly joined together by God’s Spirit. True ministers simply have been given an ability or gift from God, just as EVERY believer has gifts and callings of God. A pastor is no more important to God than the person who encourages others. There is so much that could be said on this matter.

In this authority (remember we must consider the *whole* of what the Bible teaches on a subject and not just shout out “obey them…!”), God also said no one was to lord over another. That’s not how God wants the Church to work. There is a difference in being a shepherd, a guide, as compared to demanding and lording over people. It is the latter that is evidenced in unhealthy churches.

A true leader, one with the heart of a servant, does not need to shout he has authority, nor flaunt it. He does not lord it over church members. Instead of demanding that everyone be in subjection to him, he allows himself to be in subjection to members- just as all believers are to be in subjection to one another.

Liken it to a marriage. After the fall, God placed the husband over the wife. Yet his authority doesn’t translate to dictatorship and lording over his wife. The husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the Church. The wife is to respect her husband. If everyone exhibits their mutual subjection one to another, the marriage operates as it should. The husband may have the final say in some matter, for instance, but he also listens to and considers the input of his wife, having her welfare in mind.

Understand that true biblical authority is not what you have encountered and heard about in unhealthy churches. It’s not about blindly doing whatever a pastor or minister says. It’s not about the pastor saying you cannot go to some other church. It’s not about ruling with an iron fist. It’s not about telling you what you may and may not wear or where you may or may not go. It’s so very, very different from all of that. If ministers have the heart of a servant, as they should, they will not be abusive. If they do not, they should not be a leader as Jesus taught leaders are to serve.

Ephesians 5:18-21 (NLT): Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.