Leaving An Unhealthy Church #10: Sorting Through The Teachings

For those still trying to sort through the doctrines you were taught in an unhealthy church, here are some things to consider that should be helpful.

1) Keep the passage in its context. One can make it appear to seem like a passage is teaching something different when it is taken out of context or partially quoted. You need to read the surrounding verses, and sometimes chapters, and not just the proof-text given.

2) Beware of assigning a word an incorrect definition. Many in unhealthy churches assign words meanings which do not reflect their biblical meaning. If one doesn’t look further into this, they can be led to believe the Bible teaches something totally different than it does. Some words that readily come to mind from my old church organization are long, peculiar, shamefacedness and hallelujah (the latter probably only pertains to my former church). Nowadays it is very easy to look up the basics of the original Greek or Hebrew words used in the Bible. Your modern day dictionary is not what you should use.

3) Look at the overall picture. Discover what the ‘whole,’ or all, of the Bible teaches on a subject and not just a few passages. Unhealthy churches piece together passages to support some teachings. Yet if you study what the entire Bible says on the subject, you will find what they say really isn’t taught in scripture. You won’t find the doctrine being stated by the apostles or Jesus and you won’t find any examples of them doing (whatever) it is. Complete concordances are found in abundance to help you find every instance of a word in the Bible.

4) Interpret a difficult passage in light of those that are clearly understood. When one passage seems to not fit in with the rest of scripture on a subject, we need to interpret that passage in light of what is clear. The teachings aren’t going to contradict themselves. For instance, if there is one verse that on the surface could appear to say something is a matter of salvation, and yet that is never explicitly stated anywhere in the Bible, then you are probably understanding it incorrectly. It needs to be interpreted by the passages that are clearly understood.

5) Set aside preconceived ideas and take care to not read things into a text which are not stated. When we read the Bible, we should approach it in a way that God can speak to us through it. That’s hard to do if we are dead set in our minds that we know it all and that our interpretation must be 100% accurate. This is what causes many in Pentecostal churches, when they read in the Bible about the Holy Spirit, to automatically think ‘speaking in tongues‘ even if it is not in the text. Thus we read into scripture our thoughts or what we have heard taught in church and we aren’t going to learn that way. Don’t set about to prove what you believe is correct or to prove a doctrine to be false. Instead, approach your studies with wanting to know what the Bible teaches, regardless of what you think it does or doesn’t teach.

Leaving An Unhealthy Church #1: You and Those Who Remain
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #2: Anything You Say Can, And Will, Be Used Against You
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #3: Why It May Be Important To Resign Your Membership
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #4: Remaining in the Same Organization
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #5: Don’t Listen To The Gossip
Leaving an Unhealthy Church #6: How You Are Treated
Leaving an Unhealthy Church #7: It Happens To Ministers, Too
Leaving an Unhealthy Church #8: The Way Of The Transgressor Is Hard!
Leaving an Unhealthy Church #9: Some Must Return To Remember Why They Left
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #10: Sorting Through The Teachings
Leaving an Unhealthy Church #11: Confusion & Not Knowing Who or What to Believe
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #12: Can I Go To A Church Where I Don’t Agree With Everything?
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #13: A Warped View of God
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #14: Looking For A New Church Part 1
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #15: Looking For A New Church Part 2 (Leaving Your Comfort Zone)
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #16: Looking For A New Church Part 3 (Triggers)
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #17: Looking For A New Church Part 4 (Manifestations/Demonstrations)
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #18: Looking For A New Church Part 5 (Church Attendance: A Matter of Life or Death?)

Experiences Can Be Real, But….

Here is some food for thought to consider. If Paul taught in 1 Corinthians 14 that people would think believers were mad if they heard a bunch of speaking in tongues in a gathering, what would he say about the laughter and being slain that are seen in some churches? Speaking in tongues is biblical. What about these other ‘manifestations?’

When we go to the Bible we do not find these things there. Neither is taught, nor do we see evidence of either in the stories found in the Bible. This should be very telling.

What is accomplished when people laugh out of control, especially during preaching or teaching? It certainly is not edifying. In addition, Paul taught that the spirit of the prophet is subject to the prophet. This means that as believers, we are in control of what we do and allow.

The passages used to support laughter and being slain are taken out of context and never show anything remotely similar to what goes on in churches today that teach and support these things. But because they happen in a church setting, many blindly accept it as being from God. In addition, some in ministry threaten people who would speak against such ‘moves.’ (For example, think Hinn and Hanegraaff.)

Experiences can be real, but real experiences don’t necessarily translate to being something God ordained.

Who Understands Us?

It’s tough on the outsider who has a loved one in an unhealthy church and has never been exposed to anything similar. They are not going to relate to much, if anything. Some of what they see or hear may seem absurd to them, that anyone could believe or do such things.

For the one on the outside, it’s important to not minimize anything you hear. You should educate yourself as to the beliefs and practices of the group. For instance, if your brother shared with you that he was concerned about his salvation because he disobeyed the pastor, should you burst out laughing, ridicule or make light of it….chances are he will think more than once before opening up to you again. There will be times where, being on the outside and not having a better understanding, that you need to take extra care in how you respond to a situation. Two articles which should give you some insight are We Are Spiritual Abuse Survivors and Help! My Family Member or Close Friend is Trapped in a High-Controlling Church or Cult.

It is also tough on the former or current member who is struggling with teachings. Besides the fact that many unhealthy churches do not encourage vocalizing questions pertaining to their teachings, there’s not a lot of Christians who can relate or understand what they may be encountering or going through. Try explaining to a woman attending a Methodist church, that you are concerned that as a woman, you may no longer be saved because you cut your hair. See how little she can relate. Sharing additional things, like your family may have lost protection because of it, will be mind boggling to her.

There are so many different issues, besides the teachings, that one exposed to an unhealthy church may have to grapple with, that many simply do not understand. Just where do you go when no one around you has any concept of what you’re going through? How can your other friends be of much help when they haven’t a clue about what you’re trying to discuss?

Despite all of that, there are certain people who can relate, besides former members of the same group. Though it may sound unbelievable at first, if you will take the time to learn why it is true, it can help immensely. A former member of an unhealthy church would find they have many things in common with former Moonies, Krishnas, guru followers, UFO groups, Jehovah’s Witnesses and more. While the teachings of each group are quite different, there are particular practices found in abusive and unhealthy groups that allow former members to relate to and understand each other. Yes, even though the groups they came out of are as different as night and day on the surface.

Had I not seen this first hand in the 1990s, several years after leaving the United Pentecostal Church, I probably wouldn’t have believed it for some time. It was a real eye opener for me. Take the time to educate yourself about spiritual abuse and what is involved. It will be helpful in your healing. We feel so strongly about it that for years we have given away used and new copies of books on the subject.

Top November Posts

This is for those interested in seeing the top ten read blogs from November 2016.

The blog section of the spiritual abuse website had 4036 visits, with 1526 being unique. At present, most of the referrals have still come from Facebook, Twitter and search engines. If some who have similar blogs or websites would be so kind as to link to us, it would help increase our exposure. Also, sharing the blogs and/or commenting on them are also helpful and encourage the authors.

Below are the top ten read posts for the month. Thanks so much to all our readers and authors!

I can’t save my siblings – author Eleanor.

Of Sheep and Shepherds, from a member’s perspective – author Mary.

Signs, Signs, Everywhere A Sign – author Lois.

When your parents stalk you – author Eleanor.

Cry Baby – author Susan.

Examining Teachings #5: Faith Without Works Is Dead – author Lois.

Three Steps Out the Church Door: Leaving the Southern Baptist Church – Introduction – author Crabby Lioness.

Three Steps Part 1: Recollection, Remembrance, and Discovery – author Crabby Lioness.

I was very bad today… – author Mary.

Examining Teachings #3: Peculiar And Separate – author Lois.

Examining Teachings #5: Faith Without Works Is Dead

James 2:17 shares that faith without works is dead. This is true. But does this Bible passage mean what unhealthy churches say it does, in equating works with their list of things a Christian must do to be saved?

We are saved because of what Jesus did for us. If works could have saved people, then surely the law that God put into place for the Jews would have accomplished this. Yet the Bible is very vocal in that it did not.

Works, as mentioned in the book of James, are our actions. Faith without works is dead- not because works are essential to our salvation- but because if one has faith in God it will be evidenced by their actions. You can’t have real faith with nothing to show for it. However, with those actions there is no salvation made, kept or bought. They are simply a natural result of our faith in God.

Back in the early church, people wanted to add rules to be or keep saved. So the thought is nothing new. People seem to have a hard time accepting by faith that Jesus paid the price completely for their salvation. Jesus said it was finished and yet people keep wanting to add conditions to our salvation. So let’s take a look at the early church.

The second chapter of Galatians continues with Paul telling about his past. This is where he starts to show the Galatians the problem that false brothers caused with their untrue teachings.

Chapter 15 of Acts tells in more detail about what Paul shares happened in Jerusalem. I encourage you to take the time to read Acts 15. The men who came to Antioch from Judea, who were teaching that the Gentiles must be circumcised in order to be saved, had caused a sharp division. This division caused the believers to send a delegation of people, including Paul & Barnabas, to Jerusalem in order to consult with the apostles and other elders.

At the meeting, some proclaimed that the Gentiles must be circumcised and made to obey the law of Moses. There is discussion and then Peter addresses them all, reminding them that God made no distinction between the Jews and Gentiles and purified the Gentile hearts by faith. He then asks why they are trying to test God by making the Gentiles do what even the Jews could not follow. Peter stated that they are saved through the grace of God.

James later shares similar thoughts and they decide to write a letter to the believers in Antioch, Syria & Cilicia that says they will not burden the Gentiles with anything more than four requirements. These are listed in verse 29 of Acts 15.

Things haven’t changed and adding to do lists to salvation is hundreds upon hundreds of years old. The problem now is that Christianity has split itself into so many different groups that there is no longer one place for people to go in order to sort out what isn’t proper teaching. We can’t send a delegation to Jerusalem to consult with the apostles. But we DO have their letters and the scriptures to help us when we at first are not sure of some teachings. Nothing has changed since the day the apostles and elders sent out that letter many years ago….we are still saved by faith through the grace of God. Anything more than that is NOT the good news!

Galatians 2:4 Yet because of false brothers secretly brought in—who slipped in to spy out our freedom that we have in Christ Jesus, so that they might bring us into slavery (ESV)

This is a powerful illustration and shows how Paul knew what adding rules and laws to salvation would do. (Remember, he had been a Pharisee and would know all too well about added rules.) No wonder the Galatians had lost their joy (you will see this in chapter 4). They changed from freedom in Christ to being in slavery.

Slavery. That is what your faith will turn into if you make the change from following God by faith to trying to make yourself righteous by any works or trying to be saved, or stay saved, by any works.

In Romans Paul shared that we did not receive a spirit that makes us a slave again to fear…but that we received the Spirit of Sonship. (Romans 8:15)

And that is what rule following is all about- YOU. The focus shifts from Christ in you to what YOU do and don’t do. You turn from being justified by faith in Jesus to seeking to be justified by your actions. And no matter how much you try and how many rules you follow, not one soul will ever be justified by these deeds.

And, no, this isn’t at all about easy believism or greasy grace. It isn’t about living however you want. It is about a changed heart. A heart where God writes his laws inside us, where it isn’t about following a list of rules, but doing what we do because we love God and wish to please him.

Examining Teachings #1: Drunk In The Spirit?
Examining Teachings #2: Jezebel and Shamefaced
Examining Teachings #3: Peculiar And Separate
Examining Teachings #4: What Must I Do To Be Saved?
Examining Teachings #5: Faith Without Works Is Dead

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