Blogs

Continued from Part 1.

I read the website with great interest. I personally knew the husband and wife, and deep down I knew they were decent people. I just didn’t understand at the time how they could speak so much against a ministry we were told was on fire for the gospel and we were commissioned to carry the Good News to the world.

On days I was tasked with working at the church office, I played the obedient servant role to a T. I never once accessed the website at church, only at home or aboard ship. I did, however, witness the pastor’s wife reading through it intently. I never asked her why she was so interested. I don’t believe at that time anyone in the church suspected I was looking for answers in forbidden places.

My quest for answers took a new turn while home on leave. The forbidden website opened message boards where I could create a username and participate. Using an alias, I began to communicate on the boards and interacted with other former members. I saw a consistency in their testimonies that I couldn’t deny. I also noticed they too were people I considered close friends. What caused them all to leave?

The pastors would tell us Satan deceived those who left, and they believed a lie about the ministry just as the apostle Paul said concerning “strong delusion.” It didn’t matter. I still had a desire to know more.

The events after September 11 would set me up for a meeting that would lead to my eventual departure from the church where I labored for almost 17 years.

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.

A recently published article by the Washington Post brought to my remembrance the refusal of my former church to properly address the criminal actions of the founder. Indeed, the last thing any church wants to believe is that those in leadership were actually guilty of the act they were accused of doing.

In my former church, a concerted effort went forward to proclaim the founder’s innocence, and to discredit anyone who tried to refute the narrative. After the founder was convicted, the leadership continued pushing the narrative he was falsely accused and thus wrongly convicted. Those who spoke against this were disfellowshipped and expelled. To my shame, as a minister I supported the church in this effort for almost a decade. I didn’t want to believe the “man of God” was even capable of committing such awful things. I didn’t want to even consider he was guilty of molesting children.

The founder died in prison. Less than a year after his death, a couple who left the church launched a website exposing the ugly truth of the founder’s activities and other practices the ministry did to keep everyone in the dark and under the leadership’s control. The new general pastor was livid. He put out a directive to everyone in the congregations that reading the website could lead to expulsion. It was, in the pastor’s eyes, tantamount to consorting with the enemy.

When this was announced, I was stationed aboard a ship where no other members were assigned. I had almost unfettered access to the computers at work, and I began to sample the forbidden fruit of truth.

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.

A close friend of mine was a victim of an armed robbery in a store she managed and was brutally beaten and left for dead. She survived the physical injuries but was kept a victim in her mind and developed many fears, anxieties, and PTSD. It took her many years to recover mentally and emotionally but she recovered because she refused to keep thinking like she was a victim.

She even managed to open a bridal store and ran the business for 5 or 6 years until she had to sell it to take care of her mother who had cancer. She is a survivor and a strong one.

Not only did she survive something so tragic as the robbery, she is also a spiritual abuse survivor. She came out of the United Pentecostal Church and is now a pastor of a Methodist church, director of a Women’s Center and State Rep for Celebrate Recovery. She is one busy woman.

This is her story of recovery from victim to victor!

Acting like you’re always a victim and complaining about the hurts that were done to you fuels your sense of victimization. Believing you’re a victim, makes it seem like you have no power over the direction of your life, and it will keep you stuck in the same grip of fear until you take control of your situation.

I suffered terrible trauma in my life and found the courage to turn it all around. When I remembered I had access to far more power, authority, and influence over my life than I ever believed. I stopped hiding, complaining, and refusing to see myself as a hapless victim, I found that I was more powerful than I realized, but only when I chose to accept this reality and I moved on.

It wasn’t easy but I had to stop blaming God and start believing in Him again. I had to find my faith, trust and strength in Him. He was the lover of my soul, my redeemer, my peace and only He could restore my life. He gave me a new outlook and a purpose.

I left the legalistic church and found freedom and healing through Celebrate Recovery and getting involved in another group of believers where there was no judgement and I could seek the solace that I needed. It took me a few years but I’m totally changed from the “victim” I thought I was, to the victor I am today.

Yes I still have triggers but I work through them and I have boundaries set up but I know if God can do this for me, he can do it for anybody if you are willing to try.

That’s her testimony and I wanted to share it because she has greatly helped me too. My friend is a wonderful and positive person to hang out with. I pray this will help you as much as it did me.

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.

We all heard the news recently of a prominent televangelist who told his followers God said to raise million of dollars to buy a personal jet airplane. Why in God’s name do people who live in Section 8 housing, collect food stamps, and are on Medicaid fall for the sales pitch?

I fell for a similar sales pitch in 2002. The church I attended was looking at gathering funds for a high end car supposedly for church use. I was approached because I was careful with my finances and somehow the church knew I had some cash on hand. Being the good brother and elder, I offered to give $1000 towards purchasing the vehicle. It was a sweet ride, but then I noticed it never was used by the church as much as it was used by the pastor.

For the generous donation I made, the least the church could have done was let me drive the car. I felt like a big horse’s rear end, realizing helping with the purchase did not mean I could even sit in the driver’s seat.

For those who feel the urge to donate for airplanes and other high end merchandise, ask yourselves this: will the pastor let you have any use of those items after you donate? If the pastor is living in a luxurious home and you live in the projects, wouldn’t it be possible he could take out a personal loan without trying to dig in YOUR wallet?

Do yourselves a favor and don’t give these charlatans one dime.

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.