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This is part 30 of an ongoing series dealing with sexual abuse and the United Pentecostal Church. Back in late May, I wrote about the criminal charges against Dexter Lee Hensley for child sexual abuse involving more than one victim. The assaults are alleged to have occurred during the period of January 2012 through December 2015 and at least some, if not all, happened at the Jasper Apostolic Church (listed as Apostolic UPC, Inc. in the United Pentecostal Church Directory and located at 231 Hillside Drive in Jasper, Indiana) where the pastor is Howard Wayne Geck. The church operates  Jasper Christian Academy, a small school located at the church.

Howard Geck, born July 27, 1956, also pastors New Life United Pentecostal Church (104 W. 3rd Avenue in Huntingburg), an affiliated UPCI church.

The previous pastor of the Jasper church was Judith C. Branam, who appears to have been the pastor when the alleged assaults occurred. Branam founded the Jasper Apostolic UPC and the Jasper Christian Academy. Howard Geck, who married Branam’s daughter, Kim, became the pastor in 2016 according to UPCI Directories. It is unknown whether Branam was ever aware of these or any other possible allegations against Hensley.

Howard Geck was pastor when the guardian of the girls reported the abuse to him at some point in 2017.  On May 20, 2019, the guardian of the victims “confirmed that about two (2) years ago, she was made aware of the inappropriate touching and that she reported the abuse to the church pastor, Brother Geck.” Dexter Hensley was a member of the church. She went on to say that she and Pastor Geck met with Hensley and “that the issue was taken care of.”

Pastor Howard Geck never informed the police or Child Protective Services of the abuse, even though everyone in the state of Indiana is a mandated reporter. Too many of these pastors have the mistaken notion that they are somehow qualified to investigate and handle sexual assault cases. Instead of reporting them, they choose to handle them ‘in house’ and this is exactly what appears to have happened in this instance.

On June 26, 2019, United Pentecostal pastor Howard Wayne Geck was charged in Dubois Circuit Court with a Class B misdemeanor, 31-33-22-1(a), for failing to report this case of sexual assault after he learned of it. This is case number 19C01-1906-CM-000628. Due to the seriousness of failing to report, as it gives opportunity for perpetrators to continue to harm others and brings no justice for victims, you would think that the penalty for this would be at least somewhat severe, especially when it involves a minister. Apparently that is not the case.

Probable cause was found and an initial hearing was scheduled for July 23, 2019, which was later waived. A pretrial conference was then scheduled for August 13. It was cancelled because on July 30, 2019, a pretrial diversion agreement was filed and all Howard Geck had to do was pay the court $454.00.

This was a case where, in my opinion, there was no doubt that Geck had been notified of the abuse two years prior and he chose to not report. Have there been any other cases where he has acted similarly but they have not come to light? Since the penalty was so little, will he or others choose to do so again in the future?

Why did the United Pentecostal Church not step in and revoke his license or at the very least remove him from any positions in the organization? Yet, this isn’t a total surprise as when two UPC ministers in California were convicted in the 1990s of failure to report, they retained their licenses and positions and one even later moved up in the organization and is now a District Superintendent. (I speak of Arthur Hodges and George Nobbs.) Their case even brought about change in California state law.

Nothing happened to Colorado pastor Dannie Hood, who chose not to report or testify in the case of Jessie Klockenbrink (though he legally was permitted to do so by claiming the loophole of clergy privilege).

They appear to have done nothing about the numerous child sexual abuse allegations surrounding Calvary Gospel Church in Madison, Wisconsin that goes back decades, despite our numerous articles, as well as those by several others, including the Capital Times. We’ve written about other allegations involving churches and ministers where men still retain their licenses.

I have heard from more than one source that at the past General Conference this September,  the UPCI adopted a position paper about ministers and reporting such cases, though it has yet to be released to the general public. Will action truly be taken against any of their ministers, no matter their status, their Apostolic pedigree, or how much money they give, if they fail to report sexual abuse to police or have committed sexual crimes themselves?

Is David Bernard, the current General Superintendent, going to do what is right and thoroughly investigate all these cases and remove ministers from their ranks who fail to report, as well as those who have committed sexual assault that may not have been reported to police and prosecuted? David Bernard is an attorney, and while he may not have ever dealt with such cases as a lawyer, I believe he does understand the seriousness of this issue. While I am in disagreement with the UPCI on many things, I personally believe that Bernard has helped the organization and has made some positive changes as they are in a much better situation now than before he became their leader. He has also made some brief statements about sexual abuse and the need to report and support victims. This issue is one that he absolutely must address and do so publicly in order that all those attending UPCI churches are made aware of what the UPCI expects their ministers to do when it comes to sexual abuse and the consequences that must consistently happen to ministers who fail to do what is right.

As to Dexter Hensley, on November 18, 2019, a change of plea hearing was scheduled for December 17. Hensley had originally entered a plea of not guilty. It would appear that a plea agreement may have been reached. A new court date of January 27, 2020 is scheduled for acceptance of his plea and sentencing.

Articles:
Pastor charged with failing to report child molestation
Pastor charged with failure to report
Dubois Co. pastor arrested after failing to report alleged child abuse – Includes video
Jasper Pastor Charged With Failing to Report Child Sexual Abuse Cases

You will find a complete list of articles in this series by clicking here.

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I have written extensively about Debbie McNulty’s childhood sexual abuse by alleged perpetrator Steven J. Dahl while she was a member of Calvary Gospel Church, a United Pentecostal Church in Madison, Wisconsin, where John W. Grant was the pastor. (He now calls himself a bishop.) There are others from CGC who were allegedly abused by various men in the church. Below is a list of the articles that will give extensive details about this case:

A UPC Church Responds To Sexual Abuse
A Pastor Who Should Not Have Been Part 1
A Pastor Who Should Not Have Been Part 2
A Pastor Who Should Not Have Been Part 3
UPCI Ministers Embrace Alleged Pedophile Part 1
UPCI Ministers Embrace Alleged Pedophile Part 2
One Woman Remembers Steven Dahl’s UPCI Connection
A Day Of Reckoning For Calvary Gospel Church

In September 2019 a two hour podcast interview with Debbie was released by a group where normally “atheist and agnostic Ex-Christians share their stories of deconversion.” While she considers herself neo-pagan, they made an exception in Debbie’s case and included her story in one of their podcasts. There are many who have experienced spiritual abuse who have walked away from Christianity and with what Debbie endured, it is no surprise that she is not a Christian. We previously shared this interview on social media but I want to provide some additional information about what is covered so that potential listeners will have a better idea of what is included and so that some, who may not have two hours to listen, might be able to skip to a section that interests them.

In the first 55 minutes, Debbie shares about herself concerning her past and when she started questioning the teachings of her former church as well as the Bible. Some may not like the discussion about the Bible, but don’t allow that to stop you from hearing her story. Debbie had a childhood that she describes as “marinated in fear” and speaks about her complex PTSD after years of watching films like A Thief In The Night and hearing sermon after sermon about the rapture, end-times and people being left behind. She was very involved at Calvary Gospel Church, was a student in the church operated school that was held in their basement and was also a Bible quiz captain. (Bible quizzing is very popular in some United Pentecostal churches.) At home, things were often difficult and troublesome as they were poor and her parents divorced after her dad committed adultery. She later found herself in an abusive marriage while attending a Baptist church. She was in her early 20s when she was questioning the Bible and felt that the book of Genesis fell apart upon examination, which lead her to reject it all.

At about the 55 minute mark she begins speaking about her childhood sexual abuse and Steven Dahl, now of Oconto, Wisconsin and pastor of the Pentecostal Lighthouse Church, which meets in the old VFW building that was donated to the church. Debbie shows how she was groomed as an 11 year old and how he would complain to her about his marriage (he hadn’t been married long when Debbie’s abuse began) and how his wife wouldn’t have sex while fasting. During their first time together, he held her hand and then asked for a kiss, which she gave him on the nose. He allegedly responded that it wasn’t the type of kiss he wanted. Over time things escalated. Debbie felt responsible for the sexual abuse she endured when she was eleven and twelve years old. She shares that at twelve he unsuccessfully attempted to have intercourse with her.

Debbie was working with a 19-year-old at a church popcorn wagon when one day she suddenly blurted out what was happening. The teen asked questions of her and then told a minister and his wife from Calvary Gospel Church, whom she was living with, and they told her to tell Debbie that if she didn’t inform the pastor, that they would. Debbie had to make an appointment with pastor John W. Grant in order to tell him what was being done to her. Grant never spoke to her about it again after this meeting. A few days later is when Debbie received a phone call from Steven Dahl, saying he was leaving town and that it wasn’t her fault. At the next church service, she found out about him being caught in bed with his wife’s minor sister, Alice. They later married soon after Alice turned 18.

McNulty goes on to talk about the #churchtoo movement and mentioned that she hadn’t seen any United Pentecostal related stories. She started feeling that she had to tell her story, including the names of those involved and the church. At about the 1:22 mark she mentions my website and how she discovered she was not alone and that girls she had once babysat for had also been sexually abused. She became angry, sad and frustrated. All of this lead to her starting a private CGC support group on Facebook that started with about eight people and at the time of the interview had grown to 25 members.

At the 1:28 mark they speak about the Assembly bills in Wisconsin that hope to change the laws regarding child sexual abuse and remove the clergy privilege loophole that enables ministers to fail to report. Debbie spoke about how she and some others met with members of the Assembly and told them their stories of abuse. This meeting lead to a visit with the Madison police chief as well as to some investigative stories published by the Capital Times and written by Katelyn Ferral. On August 7, 2019, Debbie McNulty and another childhood sexual abuse survivor from Calvary Gospel Church, Rebecca Martin Byrd, both spoke at the press meeting that announced the Assembly bills. They were subsequently interviewed by some media outlets. At the 1:49 mark the interviewer is asking Debbie various questions and they speak about how Dahl had removed things from the Internet and how her husband confronted Dahl on his Facebook profile. She shared how Steven Dahl admits to adultery, but not that it allegedly happened due to sexually assaulting minors.

Debbie’s story is important and should be heard and known by others. Calvary Gospel Church has an alarming number of child sexual abuse survivors going back decades and these need to be investigated. No church should be permitted to enable, cover-up, turn a bind eye to, or fail to report instances of sexual abuse, especially those which happen to minor children. The United Pentecostal Church has many more instances of sexual abuse than their leaders and members realize or will admit to. While the organization is pretty small in North America, (Bernard stated in the January 2020 issue of Pentecostal Life that their North American churches only have an attendance of about 600,000 people and an estimated constituency of 800,000 as of August 2019.) these accounts of sexual abuse are just as alarming as those of the Catholic or Baptist churches.

Known as ‘The Rev,’ Steve Dahl runs The Rev Oconto Car Club Facebook Group (started September 28, 2021). He organizes Car N Tunes events in Wisconsin and at the annual Oconto Fly-In Car & Tractor Show (He also runs or helps run that Facebook Page, which started February 16, 2018), where he has served as emcee and DJ at the event for thirteen years. The next Fly-In date is September 21, 2024.

You will find a complete list of articles in this series by clicking here.

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I realized tonight that I’m reaching two anniversaries, not just one. In December 2009 I walked out of my former church. But what I don’t often think about is that in 1999 I was being “sat down” and nearing a time when I’d be kicked out. Around this time 20 years ago I was begging God to let me stay in a very unhealthy, spiritually abusive church, and around 10 years ago I was walking out of another.

A lot has changed in 20 years. I am no longer afraid of not attending church. I rarely go. I’m no longer afraid of pastors’ disapproval, of hell, or of what a church will think of me. The fear that if the pastor disapproves he can prevent me not only from attending HIS church but others like it no longer bothers me because… well, really, why would I choose to go to an abusive church “like his” or attend a church where the pastor even thinks it IS his church? More than that, I no longer – and haven’t for some time – cringed every year in January and February, wondering what would happen THIS year, remembering that one… the one in 1999, then one where I was convinced I was going to hell because the pastor was abusive.

At the same time, I also no longer celebrate like I did in 1999, 2000 and the years following. The first few years, I had multiple Christmas trees, lights, music, movies… I wore myself out with it and that was probably a good thing. I needed to make that time positive in my mind. This year, though, I haven’t even decorated yet. My job changed a couple years ago and November and early December can be exhausting, but I also don’t need something to keep my mind occupied. I don’t have a need to make the season positive, because it is, whether I have no trees or four. (I also have a very destructive cat, which may also be part of the reason for the lack of decorations.)

It was hard. Every year gets easier. I should have left 20 years ago. Actually I should have left more than 20 years ago, because the man who kicked me out did a lot of damage, and not just to me. Looking back on it all from ten years or twenty, here are some things I know:

• Though I would have run back to the abusive church if I’d known then where I’d be now if I left, I’m so glad I did leave.
• Things were a whole lot worse in the church I walked out of than I ever knew when I left it.
• I’ve met a whole lot of people with love, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, meekness, and self-control whom Christians would condemn. These have become friends. They aren’t perfect, but they are accepting and they are considerate and respectful of others, and that’s encouraging.
• The best way to witness to non-Christians may really not be telling people “I’m a Christian” repeatedly… actually that may be one of the worst ways to witness… it may push people away rather than make them more interested. Particularly if the one saying they’re a Christian doesn’t particularly act like one.
• A whole lot of what I was taught was wrong… isn’t. As a matter of fact, some of what I was taught was wrong is really simply normal.

Leaving was hard. Especially being kicked out. At least walking out I had anger to motivate me and I could prepare myself. At least I chose my moment and I rejected them, not vice-versa. At least I had some supports in place when I walked out. I was also older and more aware of some things. It didn’t make it easy. Leaving is always hard. But staying would have been impossible.

Happy anniversaries to myself.

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As the humid summer days grow longer, tall sunflower stalks follow the path of the dawning sun until shadows appear under the moonlit sky. Then, eager for a new day with endless possibilities, the yellow giants twirl around in anticipation of the sun’s kisses in the morning. While many cling to the flower’s intense focus on the hope of a new dawn, I cringe at their faces, remembering Mrs. Julie and longing for the days of journals and daily phone calls. My heart yearns to find solace sitting next to her, eating chunky monkey ice cream on the days that my high school and college years seemed to turn upside down.  It is the smell of Ragu alfredo sauce, a meal that her and I both loved, while our families despised it. It is the yellow highlighter, blue pen, and colored ribbons in her Bible. It is when the choir sings, “Through the Garden.” But, when the congregation yells, “Praise God!” in song, I see her husband’s face and hear his voice. I crawl within myself, terrified of more hours of yelling and screaming, manipulation and berating. It is a foul smell in the car, an extremely heavy-set man passing out tracts. It is the man holding Scripture signs or someone talking through a megaphone. It is a preacher on Sunday morning talking about a person being “carnal” or needing to repent. But I never knew I suffered a loss.

According to the authors of Managing Traumatic Stress Through Art (pg. 74), these feelings of loss are “a natural reaction to actual or imagined losses that vary according to the type and impact of the trauma. It is common to experience a loss of one or more of the following as a result of the trauma:

• • A sense of safety and security
  • Meaning and purpose in life
  • Physical health or body integrity
  • The ability to relate effectively with others
  • Self-esteem or identity
  • Someone or something you love”

In my life, there was no viewing or physical casket. No funeral or solemn prayer. There was no placement of an actual body or a covering of earth with beautiful flowers in honor of their passing. Rather, I was left in a confused state with only the overwhelming emotions and harrowing memories left behind. I lost not only my best-friend and mentor, but I lost my childhood innocence and wonder, and I no longer knew the person I had become. It turns out that recognizing and accepting these losses are the first steps in allowing the actual grieving process to begin, in order to allow the pains to lesson over time, even if they never truly go away. It is vital to look deep within and ask what losses you have endured from the trauma. What has changed, shifted, or shattered into a million pieces? Recognizing these feelings and having compassion on yourself in a way that allows space to grieve and seek support as needed will begin the path to acceptance and healing.

This exercise involves writing a letter or poem to someone who has experienced trauma(s) similar to your own. For those not familiar, I was under a husband-wife couple that was like a miniature cult, brainwashing and isolation included. The wife, Mrs. Julie, was a dear friend, but her husband, Brother Thomas, was abusive mentally, emotionally, sexually, and spiritually, but only physically abusive towards his family. Because I could not wrap my mind around another situation similar enough to my own experiences at the time, I wrote my letter as if to another girl under those mentors, since they took so many teenagers under their wings. Mrs. Julie especially took in young teen girls to help mentor and encourage them. Here is my letter as if to one of those girls. It has given me a sense of not being alone anymore, and even a shift in perspective to potentially helping others. I can see another girl and have compassion on her, rather than my own tendency to say, “I should have known. I should have seen it. Why did I not just get out?” It has helped to have compassion on myself and it was key to starting inner child work.

Dear Sister,

I pray this letter finds you well, or so I hope. Prayer isn’t really a thing for me these days. How about you?

They wanted us to meet up with their standard of living and godliness, but it was a standard that could never be attained. She loved us dearly, but she was likely too entrenched in survival mode and self-presentation to see the damage it caused: that intense feeling of failure, mounted with sheer guilt and shame. I know the mask and I know the pain. I feel that hurt. But you’re not alone. You weren’t alone then and you’re not alone now.

He couldn’t have cared less with the facade he put on, somehow greater than his weight [He was easily 400lbs or more and used it for intimidation]. Remember Rachel? Remember Amanda? Rachel had the guts to stand and Mrs. Julie protected Amanda from him. I don’t know what all you went through, but I know the loss of innocence. I know the fears and panic from everyday things that others do not understand.

I still sit through church services nervous and terrified. I never know what the man [preacher] is going to say or when the skeletons will show. Every message is a reminder of my failure. But it’s not a failure. You’re not a failure. You are strong for continuing on. You are strong for getting out when you did, no matter how long that took.

The crazy is over and now it’s picking up the pieces and finding joy in life again somehow. It’s finding purpose again outside the crazy. It’s not as simple as brushing your shoulders off, but it’s a day by day, moment by moment process.

“God’s crazy about you”…. Remember? She may have said it, but it hasn’t changed. I don’t understand how God works anymore, but somewhere the Bible says that God is love, and He loves you with an everlasting love.

The journey ahead is long, but it’s not your fault. You’re beautiful. You’re amazing because you are fearfully and wonderfully made. In college, I thought it would be better if a car swerved and hit me because I would no longer be the reason they were hurting, but someone shared that verse with me and told me that the rest of my life that didn’t happen would be the wonder of God’s work on me. Marvelous are thy works. That’s you.

It feels like my marriage is messed up many days because of what happened, but you know what? A real man isn’t like Thomas. He cares and he stays. He loves and encourages. In marriage, we support each other through the good and bad times.

I don’t have the answers for Bible reading, church, prayer, soul-winning, communication or authority. Submission is all jacked up. But some day, we can be stronger for it somehow. Someday, we can help someone else because of what we’ve been through and cannot change.

God will judge him someday if no one gets to him first. And even if they do, God will still judge him someday. Maybe then he will know where to stick that stupid pig, chicken and rooster.

You’ll find friends again. You’ll learn to trust again as you learn about healthy boundaries (highly recommend “Boundaries” by Henry Cloud 🙂 ).

You’re loved. And you’re not alone. Hang in there. You’re stronger than you feel.

Chloe

*For more art therapy ideas from Managing Traumatic Stress through Art, check out the full list of exercises from the blog post: “Managing Traumatic Stress Through Art.“

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Plunging deep into the plush couch cushions, nothing beats the cozy holiday flavor of warm chai rooibos tea on a late night after the children are finally asleep, watching re-runs of Little House on the Prairie while drifting off to dream land. Yeah, right. If only it were truly quiet and serene in the dark hours of night. Real life is more like flopping down onto the torn vinyl couch, wearing a vomit-stained shirt and the hideous pants dear mother-in-law gifted us at Christmas time that were now the only clean pair left in the house, and bawling my eyes out for the third time. The entire container of creamy chocolate and peanut butter ice cream, purchased just yesterday, is almost devoured, and surely, I did not consume both two-liter bottles of mountain dew in a forty-eight hour period by myself! The empty box of snack cakes is part of maintaining my girlish figure, complimenting my pro-wrestling abilities to get two active toddlers and an infant to sleep within the last half-hour before midnight!

And forget Little House on the Prairie. I need “Grey’s Anatomy”- McDreamy, McSteamy, the works!- “How to Get Away with Murder”, and literally ANYTHING that is not Elmo, considering that the little minions will all be awake for church and jumping on my bed in a mere five hours. All I want is sleep; pure, precious, seven-days-worth of sleep. Even if I slept for a month, however, I would not truly feel rested because I am more than just physically exhausted. I am drained mentally and emotionally, continually walking a tight rope between anxiety and depression, juggling diapers and ministry while avoiding triggers and trying to move forward with life. What I need are ways to care for myself throughout the day so I can do more than simply manage and “get through” with yet another bowl of ice cream.

This exercise begins by asking what your self-care truly looks like and how it has changed since the occurrence of trauma(s). In my life, I drastically shifted towards stress-eating enormous amounts of sweets, while compulsively working, planning and cleaning when I could be sleeping, and curling up on my bed as often as possible because I was not ready to deal with the day. I have almost all together given up on make-up and looking at least half-way put together when I walk out the door, and time to myself is a rare gem. The assignment challenged me to look for pictures that represent people, places, things, ideas, locations, etc. that can enhance my overall well-being. Now, as with any of the previous art exercises, I have dreaded searching through magazines, but once again, this technique has proven not only beneficial, but valuable. Rather than limiting self-care ideas to baths and long walks, I realized that I specifically need to be outdoors, around people and pets despite my enhanced fears of social settings, especially in church, and I remembered that I truly love music. Our old church was against everything except for hymns too old for copyright and melodic remembrance, while encouraging isolation limited to an encompassing gossip circle more intricate than politics during election year. I needed out of the house and I needed freedom. I wanted to look beautiful again and feel beautiful again, whether that was modern clothing, understanding make-up, wearing jewelry, or simply putting on some high heels (aka “prostitute shoes” according to my old mentor).

My favorite part of the pictures I found, however, are the pants that say, “Made You Look!” Just before creating this picture, I finally stepped out of my comfort zone of legalistic dress standards and bought a dark blue pair of boot-cut jeans and guess what? People did not stare at me because I was different. People did not automatically assume that I hated their guts. And guess what else? I felt alive. From there, I started a strict diet and workout, resulting in losing almost thirty pounds in two months. I felt human again, but more than that, I felt like I was learning who I was again apart from the cult-crazy. And taking care of myself through the day made life’s difficulties a little more manageable. Oh, and while I was not comfortable with dancing beforehand, I have found that baltering – dancing artlessly, without particular grace or skill, but with enjoyment- allows me to dance off loads of stress and connect with my inner child again.

*For more art therapy ideas from Managing Traumatic Stress through Art, check out the full list of exercises from the blog post: “Managing Traumatic Stress Through Art.“

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