Category: sexual abuse | Page 13 | Spiritual Abuse Blogs

“Let the Lord Fight your Battles”

I believe I had this idea to some extent growing up. It was definitely reinforced in the unhealthy churches I was in. We even sang a song about it. I was furious when I learned my former pastor’s son was molesting boys in the church. We’d been told often that if we had any concerns about the pastor and his family or anything they were doing we should “hold our peace and let the Lord fight our battles” (just shut up and pray) and God would take care of anything that was REALLY wrong (ie not just our evil imaginations, because if we thought anything negative about the pastor or his family it was surely us who were wrong).

Well, where was God? If he was to fight our battles, if we were right to just obey the pastor and pray, then how could he have not fought for those boys? Everything I’d been taught about trusting God, it seemed, was wrong.

I think back to my teens and young adult years when so many songs were about being God’s hands and feet in missions and ministry. The concept was that God is a spirit and Jesus is no longer on earth. It’s his people who now do his work. How in the world is staying quiet and just praying EVER considered OK when kids are being abused or other things are wrong?

Mom used to say that she might have faith, but she wouldn’t stand in the middle of the road and pray not to be hit by a car. But that’s what we did every day, staying quiet and expecting God to do for us what we should have had the decent common sense to do for ourselves.

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Eating the Forbidden Fruit of Truth Part 4

Continued from Part 3.

Having tasted the forbidden fruit of truth, I couldn’t close my eyes ever again. Action needed to be done. I worked on a reform proposal during the deployment, and I arranged a meeting with the pastor upon my return. I first went home on leave.

During my time home, I suffered an emotional meltdown. I was overwhelmed with the realization those whom I trusted the most lied to me about the most important things. I returned rested and recovered. The pastor left his desk and actually sat in the chair next to me – something he rarely did. The pastor then informed me my reform proposal was rejected in its entirety. I was floored. I thought for sure because I had been involved with the ministry as long as I had, plus was considered an elder, the leadership would listen to me. I was dead wrong.

A few months would pass before I finally found my exit. While I waited, I continued to read and interact with those on the website, realizing I couldn’t continue the charade of being in a ministry built on corruption and lies.

My moment came on March 19, 2003. A church meeting was held where we were all issued 3×5 cards where we were to mark YES or NO concerning our confidence in the leadership. I wrestled with the decision, but I believe at that instant God told me to write NO on the 3×5 card. It was time to leave.

Truth isn’t always pleasant. At the same time, truth is liberating. I have no regrets eating that forbidden fruit.

Rescuing Randy is one mother’s story about the harm caused by L.R. Davis, who started as a United Pentecostal Church minister.

Eating the Forbidden Fruit of Truth Part 1
Eating the Forbidden Fruit of Truth Part 2

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Eating the Forbidden Fruit of Truth Part 3

Continued from Part 2.

September 11, 2001. Anyone old enough to remember knew where they were that day. I was aboard ship, and heard the order to go underway; I would be deployed for seven months, most of that time in the Indian Ocean.

A few months into the deployment, the woman who created the website with her husband reported aboard the same ship where I was stationed. Almost immediately shipmates approached me, wanting to know why we were so polarized when we attended the same church and believed very much the same things. I prayed about talking to her because I wanted answers.

What was intended to be a brief Q and A session became a two hour conversation that opened my eyes to the ugly truth about the founder. She told me how, during her shore duty tour, she was able to obtain a copy of the court records concerning the founder’s trial and conviction. I listened closely as she shared of how the founder allegedly attacked her husband when he was a single man in the church. I could tell she wasn’t lying to me.

I realized I could no longer defend the founder anymore. I read through the court records, and my mind was blown. So many people whom I thought were pillars in the church were implicated in the closed door activities. I couldn’t believe it at first, but the truth was there in stark black and white. I had been duped into thinking we were such a holy bunch, but in reality there were two groups within the church. There was the majority, who made the church look wonderful on the outside. Then there was this – the dark inner circle where all the secrets and lies were kept.

What was I going to do with this knowledge?

Eating the Forbidden Fruit of Truth Part 1

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Eating the Forbidden Fruit of Truth Part 2

Continued from Part 1.

I read the website with great interest. I personally knew the husband and wife, and deep down I knew they were decent people. I just didn’t understand at the time how they could speak so much against a ministry we were told was on fire for the gospel and we were commissioned to carry the Good News to the world.

On days I was tasked with working at the church office, I played the obedient servant role to a T. I never once accessed the website at church, only at home or aboard ship. I did, however, witness the pastor’s wife reading through it intently. I never asked her why she was so interested. I don’t believe at that time anyone in the church suspected I was looking for answers in forbidden places.

My quest for answers took a new turn while home on leave. The forbidden website opened message boards where I could create a username and participate. Using an alias, I began to communicate on the boards and interacted with other former members. I saw a consistency in their testimonies that I couldn’t deny. I also noticed they too were people I considered close friends. What caused them all to leave?

The pastors would tell us Satan deceived those who left, and they believed a lie about the ministry just as the apostle Paul said concerning “strong delusion.” It didn’t matter. I still had a desire to know more.

The events after September 11 would set me up for a meeting that would lead to my eventual departure from the church where I labored for almost 17 years.

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Eating the Forbidden Fruit of Truth Part 1

A recently published article by the Washington Post brought to my remembrance the refusal of my former church to properly address the criminal actions of the founder. Indeed, the last thing any church wants to believe is that those in leadership were actually guilty of the act they were accused of doing.

In my former church, a concerted effort went forward to proclaim the founder’s innocence, and to discredit anyone who tried to refute the narrative. After the founder was convicted, the leadership continued pushing the narrative he was falsely accused and thus wrongly convicted. Those who spoke against this were disfellowshipped and expelled. To my shame, as a minister I supported the church in this effort for almost a decade. I didn’t want to believe the “man of God” was even capable of committing such awful things. I didn’t want to even consider he was guilty of molesting children.

The founder died in prison. Less than a year after his death, a couple who left the church launched a website exposing the ugly truth of the founder’s activities and other practices the ministry did to keep everyone in the dark and under the leadership’s control. The new general pastor was livid. He put out a directive to everyone in the congregations that reading the website could lead to expulsion. It was, in the pastor’s eyes, tantamount to consorting with the enemy.

When this was announced, I was stationed aboard a ship where no other members were assigned. I had almost unfettered access to the computers at work, and I began to sample the forbidden fruit of truth.

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