Category: performance based | Page 4

Walking In The Light

O house of Jacob, come and let us walk In the light of the LORD. Isaiah‬ ‭2:5‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about why we were all subjected to spiritual abuse. Why did it happen to me when I so much wanted to be saved and serve the Lord. The same wish I think all of us had which is probably why we were an easy mark for the United Pentecostal Church cult.

But even with all their erroneous teaching and rules and regulations it didn’t stop us from continuing our search for truth. We were still in darkness and looking to walk freely in His marvelous light.

I wanted to be like Isaiah and “walk in the light of the Lord.” I wanted to see and learn about God myself. I had all the questions but couldn’t get any straight answers. Could it be the ministry didn’t know the answers? Was it because they were still in darkness themselves? How can you shed light on something while you are sitting in darkness? “Therefore take heed that the light which is in you is not darkness.” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭11:35‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

For with their belief in a works based salvation and a heavy yoke of bondage that kept us in darkness, had they forgotten it was God who made the light? “Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness.” Genesis‬ ‭1:3-4 NKJV‬‬

God never wanted his people to sit in darkness. “For it is God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.” II Corinthians‬ ‭4:6‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

We were always intended to walk in light and not be in darkness. It is still God’s will for us to be full of light. “The people who walked in darkness Have seen a great light; Those who dwelt in the land of the shadow of death, Upon them a light has shined.” Isaiah‬ ‭9:2‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Now I’ve always been told that December 25 is not Jesus’ real birthday, and that may be so, but the Winter Solstice begins December 21 and this is the darkest time of the year, a week of the longest and darkest nights. It’s the perfect time of the year for the Light of the World to be born. When Jesus was born, the heavens lit up with the light of angels. “And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: “Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭2:13-14 NKJV

The Wise Men also followed a sign, a brightly lit star. “…behold, the star which they had seen in the East went before them, till it came and stood over where the young Child was. When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceedingly great joy.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭2:2, 9-10‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Thirty years later, Jesus spoke to his disciples saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.” John 8:12 NKJV

Coincidence? Maybe. But one thing I’ve learned there are no accidents with God, he plans everything in fine detail. Right down to our salvation. Which for some of us had to have the light of God’s word shine out to us and show us the way out of darkness. “Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path.” Psalms‬ ‭119:105‬ ‭

Yes it was hard, hurtful and full of pain and confusion while we’re caught up in the darkness of erroneous teaching and trying to find salvation because we were eager to be saved but God saw our struggles and said “Let there be light.” And we followed His light out of the darkness. “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light.” Ephesians‬ ‭5:8‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

In reading and sharing my own experiences I realized that I was still letting myself be trapped in the darkness of the past and it was time for me to be a daughter of light. No more hiding behind the hurt of the past but letting my little light shine for the glory of God and to finally know the light of his love and grace.

If then your whole body is full of light, having no part dark, the whole body will be full of light, as when the bright shining of a lamp gives you light. ‭‭Luke‬ ‭11:36‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

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Clones. Robot-like. Cult-oids. Sameness does not equal holiness.

Clones. Robot-like. Cult-oids. These words all conger up images of people living on autopilot and acting in ways that are very similar to each other. That’s what sect life was like. Very little individuality. In fact, most attempts at individuality were considered willful and selfish. Virtually the same clothes. Same hairstyles. Same language. Same way of thinking. Same routines. Same rituals. Same social circle.

I wasn’t asked what made me happy – what hobbies I would would like to pursue – it was more important to be sitting in their services multiple days per week. Pursuing individual hobbies was an act of rebellion. It wasn’t serving the Lord. Sports were frowned upon. Any extra-curricular activities. Anything that took you away from the Bible, the services, and pondering the Lord’s swift return. Even pets were discouraged.

What they don’t realize is that this sets kids up for depression. Kids are supposed be running around, not sitting still and silent. They are supposed to explore the world, and different options and opportunities. No birthday parties were allowed. No Christmas trees or decorations. No TV. No entertainment. No movies. No radio. And they kept telling me that they didn’t have rules, that these restrictions were all for my benefit! Yeah, right.

I’m not sure why they appear to think that sameness amounts to holiness. If God had wanted a relationship with “robots” then He would have created us all identical, with the same looks, the same personality, the same gifts, the same character and temperament. But He delights in our freedom (He gave us free will after all) and delights in our uniqueness. He is the Artist. We are the canvases upon which he creates many masterpieces – no one the same as the other. All original. All a unique expression of who He is. All created in His image and likeness. God is joyous, creative, vibrant, happy – so why can’t we also be these things this side of heaven? We are supposed to be. That’s why Jesus came.

The sect members in general have a dead look in their eyes. Its like hope left the building years ago. What hope do you have when most of life’s pleasures, experiences, and opportunities for relationship (including one with your Creator) are curtailed and out-of-bounds? I felt hopeless and helpless at the young age of 7. I already knew I couldn’t have the hobbies I wanted, or an education beyond high school, or real friends, or travel to exotic destinations (you cannot travel anywhere where there is not a congregation, and there are very few congregations). I knew at the age of 7 that I would never see the pyramids, or Rome, or any of the other wonders of the world.

God created this world beautiful and lush for his tenants to enjoy. But toxic religion tries to limit us. It tries to take away the free will that was granted to us by our Father. I’d love to know what Jesus says to them when they pass on to heaven – maybe “my child, you didn’t need to be a slave, or to live like a pauper, or to control everything in my name…all I wanted was your HEART”.

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Bible Reading and Prayer

I’ve asked and been asking myself for years why I struggle so much with Bible reading and prayer. I’ve finally gotten to a point where I can talk to God a little bit, but I wouldn’t say we were on close speaking terms. Bible reading is very difficult, and I rarely pick up a Bible or want anything to do with things that remind me of it.

This didn’t happen because I left the church. It happened because I was in it. It happened because the words that were supposed to comfort me were very often used against me instead. People who professed to be Christians did what they could to undermine my faith and that of others, in order to lift themselves or hide their own failures, and not just a few times, but repeatedly, until what I hear when I read, no matter what it is, brings a flood of bad memories rather than anything good.

I wasn’t raised in what most people who read this might consider a Christian home. We went to Sunday School, we read Jesus storybooks sometimes, but Bible reading was in preparation to teach, and prayer was mainly before extended family meals, not part of daily life. I struggled with some things in my own life, and at nine I went to a camp where we were ‘encouraged’ to have daily devotionals and to memorize scripture. I was a strict rule-follower and very much took these new rules to heart.

When I got home, though, I quickly learned that it was not to my advantage to follow them… I hid to memorize verses or to read my Bible, and most of my prayer time was done after lights out or high up in the top of a maple tree where no one would know. (When my sister found out I was reading my Bible, the next time we were in trouble for something she chimed in to Dad that I should know better because I was reading my Bible… and she got off the hook while I was punished, because he agreed with her.) Still, even touching the Bible brought me a kind of peace and calmed me in a way that nothing else had been able.

Throughout my childhood there was a feeling that I should be following the rule, the discipline, of quiet time. I wasn’t very faithful with it always, but the thought was there that I should be. Going to a Pentecostal church backed that thought. I jumped into that rule and others very eagerly–the concept of rules associated with church was familiar to me, and I liked having rules… they brought order to areas of my life that were very chaotic otherwise. One problem with this was that it led to legalism… the other was that not everyone followed the same rules.

Bible reading, particularly, went from being something positive to a chore within just a few years. I craved the recognition of getting my Bible reading certificate (for reading the Bible through in a year), but it was easy to fall behind and it was hard to catch up. There were other obligations, there was life… and more and more a piece of paper and a few minutes of applause for the hours and hours of ‘faithfulness’ in a year wasn’t enough. I started to recognize that the recognition was unfair when the youth were challenged with a point system — a point for every minute prayed or chapter read. Well, goodness, I could pray and drive but I sure couldn’t read and drive, and I could speed read but I wouldn’t get much from what I’d ‘read,’ but this was how to rack up points. And a chapter often took a whole lot longer than a minute of prayer. There would be no recognition for ‘slow and steady’ in the point system. I think that is the first year after joining that I didn’t get my certificate. It didn’t matter any more.

Within three years of that, I was thrown out of a church. I fasted for a week before I was thrown out, having been warned to somehow change whatever the pastor disliked, even though I wasn’t sure what that was. Fasting didn’t ‘fix’ me, and it didn’t prevent me being thrown out. I’d been the only one going to the church to pray, the only one going to the prayer room before church at least sometimes, definitely the only one ‘interceding’ in tongues for the services, but I was the one thrown out. I didn’t understand how this could happen. Being thrown out made me doubt myself and my routines of prayer and fasting. What difference had they made? Not only was I told not to go back there, but I’d actually had the pastor tell me he didn’t know if I COULD BE saved.

I experimented a little while with other options, but in the end I moved… to a place that ended up just as bad or worse. Within months I was no longer reading, praying other than before church as required, or fasting if I could avoid it without getting called out. I’d try. I was guilt ridden when I didn’t, and fearful that I’d be ‘caught,’ but even the fear and the guilt weren’t adequate motivators. Not that they should have been; by that point I had THAT unhealthy a perception of “Christian disciplines,” though.

It’s not easy to get out of that level of legalism or that degree of unhealthiness.

Tonight I found an article about the type of church I grew up in. It reminded me of that group’s “five steps to salvation” and the emphasis to a nine year old camper of the importance of daily Bible reading, memorization, and prayer. It reminded me of the beginnings of a legalism that would take me, finally, to a place where I wondered if there was a god, to a place where I’d sit stunned as someone told me they were a Christian but didn’t have devotionals and didn’t think they were even necessary… to a place where I would wish I could believe the same, to find again a place with God where the rules didn’t matter, but just the relationship.

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What keeps them enslaved?

What keeps them enslaved? In one word I would say “fear.” Fear of rejection. Fear of breaking the rules. Fear of damnation. Fear of freedom. Fear of shunning. Fear of the unknown. Fear of hell. Fear of God. Fear of what other people think. Fear of man. Fear of vulnerability. Fear of being truly and fully human. Fear of being seen. Fear of the “world”. Fear of evil. Fear of committing the unforgivable sin. Fear of being the same as other Christians and not special end-times elitists. Fear of their worldview collapsing. Fear of doubts. Fear of intrusive thoughts. Fear of emotions (“good” and “bad” emotions – both).

Fear of reality. Fear of being “found out” (shame). Fear of social interactions beyond their managed and controlled interactions. Fear of other churches. Fear of Christendom. Fear of the end of the world. Fear of the “rapture.” Fear of being the only one with scrupulosity. Fear of “worldlies” infecting them. Fear of being excluded from within. Fear of constant judgement and gossip. Fear of everything they believe not being certain. Fear of mystery. Fear of unanswerable and difficult questions. Fear of the size of the universe (if God really is that big, then maybe our church doesn’t have a total monopoly on him after all).

Fear of the final judgement. Fear of demons. Fear of the supernatural. Fear of meeting Jesus face to face. Fear of people who have visions or dreams from God. Fear of speaking in tongues. Fear of science. Fear of eternity (will I be lonely and isolated for the whole of eternity, like I am here on earth). Fear of the book of Revelation. Fear of saying “no.” Fear of speaking up. Fear of questioning. Fear of one’s own mind. Fear that one’s heart is wicked and evil beyond help. Fear of Jesus saying “I do not know you.”

Fear of not doing enough for the Lord. Fear of being on the lowest rung in heaven because they weren’t good enough or diligent enough here on earth. Fear of other’s Christians’ displays of worship in spirit and truth. Fear of being shamed. Fear of other Christians’ faith. Fear of thinking for oneself. Fear that they’ve wasted years believing a lie. Fear of apostates. Fear of talking about God in any way outside of the church building…

I think they are enslaved by a spirit of fear. It keeps them compliant, obedient, unquestioning, and in a permanent fog and state of cognitive dissonance. Fear is from the dark side. It is from hell. There is no fear in heaven. Where Jesus is there is liberty and freedom and joy and love. So why are they entrenched in fear and anxiety? Because that’s the fuel that powers their religious and God-less system. 🙁

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22 Similarities In Christian Cults

One of our readers, D.M., submitted this article and they wish to remain anonymous.

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With the “me too” campaign being highlighted on social media recently, I decided it’s time to stop the code of silence on this issue.

I just finished reading Daughter of Gloriavale and I was reminded that Christian cults are similar once you examine their conduct and core values:

(I speak from experience)

1. They have been exclusively chosen by God for a very important purpose.

2. They have more insight / revelation than other churches.

3. They have a strong leader who is to be obeyed and honoured and never to be questioned.

4. The leader claims to hear from God on behalf of the group.

5. Adherents are told to be “under the covering” or “submissive” to the leaders.

6. People who are seen to be “rebellious” or “independent” are disciplined, shunned or expelled.

7. There is a “group think” mentality and individual opinions are seen as causing disunity.

8. Any one opposing them is opposing God himself and are doing damage to the church.

9. People are categorised according to the level of commitment and money giving.

10. No such thing as confidentiality. Personal information is shared and interwoven into sermons.

11. People dobb other people to the leadership.

12. Leadership controls the relationships and tell people who that can and cannot associate with.

13. Sermons (or more like brainwashing sessions) and ministry sessions are designed to make people codependent on their leaders.

14. People are constantly told through the preaching that they are flawed. No one is ever good enough (except the leaders of course).

15. There’s little understanding of Gods grace and Christian values of love and compassion etc.

16. They have their own language and use terms and phrases exclusive to their group.

17. They do not utilise services outside their own flock (counsellors, psychologists etc.)

18. The leaders say horrible things about people who have left (eg: they are going to hell, or they have mental health issues etc.)

19. They take single Bible verses and use them out of context and create rules around them.

20. Leaving is traumatic because the people had become like an extended family. Suddenly they become aloof and a smear campaign is launched to tarnish that persons reputation.

21. Discipline and rebuke are widely practiced often during sessions where the leader acts in an intimidating manner.

22. There are codes of conduct and unwritten rules that you need to adhere to in order to become in the “in group.”

And that’s just the beginning.

There’s brainwashing, love-bombing, the judging, manipulation, control, and so many meetings and expectations to be heavily involved in programs, outreach and serving.

But just like other forms of abuse, we need to address it! Gone are the days when we brush this abuse under the carpet. We must talk about it!

Best advice I ever got was “head for the hills and don’t look back.”

There are other options. There are safe Christian groups and people to interact with who hold the Christian faith dear to their hearts without all the soul destroying practices of these cults. And there is also the option of having a break from the whole church scene altogether. Getting to know God for oneself without a mediator is very freeing. Remember it’s your life. Make choices that bring peace, joy and happiness.

I encourage the essence of the true Christian faith, and the values which Jesus Christ demonstrated when he came to earth. He mixed with the lowly, had compassion on the poor, had meals with some interesting people- but most of all He loved.

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