Category: holiness standards | Page 5

Leaving Behind Performance Based Religion

The following is a guest post by John, a former member of the United Pentecostal Church.

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In my world and realm of connection of UPCI (and such like churches), I am noticing a trend. Now I realize this isn’t the same in all circles or regions, but it could be soon.

The once high standards are falling away. The outward standards are being let down, reinterpreted, not preached as much, and in some instances being done away with.

Some churches are allowing saints to go to theaters, sporting events, allow facial hair on men, allow hair coloring, allow hair trimming, allow some make-up, etc…

For someone that left an ultra conservative legalistic Oneness church, this makes it tempting to return to one of these. They can still enjoy the worship service and the friendships they have been accustomed to without as much condemnation or guilt.

I’m going to steal the analogy I heard one of my former pastors use, it’s like putting “lipstick on a pig.” When they remove old standards there are simply new ones that replace them that determine your salvation. The following phrase was often said in such liberal setting, “you can’t behave your way into heaven but you sure can misbehave your way into hell.” It is still performance based religion. Whether it’s your pastor or fellow members watching you to see if you dress or appear right, OR if they are simply watching now if you talk or act right, it’s still the same mindset!

This church culture may start to water down their so-called standards but they will still treat sin the same. Sure they may have more patience, but they will still see you as someone that needs to ‘perform’ the role of a Christian, as they define it, to be saved. They still expect you to ‘fake it until you make it.’ Renaming or redefining the standards doesn’t change the fact they are trying to earn the right to maintain their salvation and it is that mindset that oppressed every man and woman.

I took some time away from a group for about three months. I needed to silence voices from both sides of this spectrum to make sure my influence was that of genuine ‘truth.’ In that time, I have seen how horribly divisive some churches are, even outside of Oneness churches. If you choose to live with God, then do it genuinely, not to please man; do it genuinely, not in hopes to generate a feeling; do it genuinely, not to complete a series of ‘checklists;’ do it genuinely, so that your relationship with him is your own!

Even in the watered down UPCI churches it is still divisive. It is still their ‘Acts 2:38’ message that is the only way, and that ‘my way or the highway’ mentality is a bunch of garbage. For three months I had been a part of a non-denominational Trinitarian church, until I learned they believed that if someone didn’t fully believe the Trinity then they weren’t saved. When I learned this I got so sick to my stomach. It was no different than what I just left. It’s not only the overwhelming standards and micromanaging of lives (not to minimize the affect of this stuff in our healing), but it is that overriding thought process that says beyond ‘belief’ we (a church,) have additional aspects that must be followed. It is this divisiveness that destroys, that generates the judgment, that fuels the micromanaging, that turns the wheels of the performance based religion and oppressed people.

I say all this… I know many are atheist now, or agnostic, or believers but not church goers. For each category I respect and understand your decisions and this isn’t necessarily for you directly. But for those looking or attending a new church, be wise. Even in the liberal Apostolics, Protestants, and non-denominational churches, there are those that have a performance based religion. I’m convinced in such atmosphere you won’t grow. It will be the lipstick on a pig. The same mindset, just different ways of doing it. I’m convinced there are churches that truly allow you to live, to exist without such condemnation. There are churches that believe that God isn’t concerned with changing our outward behaviors, but rather doing a work on the inside, that, yes, will eventually affect our outward behaviors naturally in everyone’s own time, and it’s okay that everyone’s journey is different. I personally am thankful that I have finally found one.

I’ll end with this… I have learned that I am sickened, and dare I say that I think God is also sickened, by churches that are legalistic, regardless if UPCI, Apostolic, Protestant, Non-denominational, or even Catholic/Orthodox. We all came out of an extreme version of it; beware of the more subtle versions as well. I highly recommend that you don’t simply leave a church because it had the name UPCI, to another church simply because it’s name isn’t UPCI. Leave the performance based religion and enter into an actual joyful and liberating walk and journey with God!

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IFB Standards: Rigid Music and Dress Standards (Part 1)

Disappearing down the quiet trail, the morning breeze still saturated with the early dew, bright fluorescent lights shatter the darkness, illuminating the university track and field course, a mere hour before dawn. Jared’s strict regimen of daily work-outs and meticulous counting of proteins, calories and carbohydrates begins his marathon sprint to losing one hundred pounds by next school year. Because exercise and nutrition are vital to physical and mental health and stamina, a balanced strategy and program is imperative to ensuring the weight-watcher continues to maintain adequate sustenance without overexertion in order to develop a healthier lifestyle. This includes a baseline intake of calories, proteins, complex carbohydrates, potassium, electrolytes, vitamins, and the right form of cholesterol, all while burning adequate amounts of fat without consequentially destroying muscle and bone density. Without this guideline, the dieter creates a phenomena where the outside appears substantially healthier, but the inside is weaker and damaged from the extreme conditions imposed on the body. In like manner, the rigid music and dress standards of Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) churches, imposed by pastors and by the congregants themselves for the sake of a healthier, well-nourished spiritual-life, are just like a bad diet plan.

While the outside seems to adjust by leaps and bounds, intricately constructed within the framework and silver-lining of legalism, the inside lacks true nurture and development, focusing rather on a performance-based relationship with Christ and ministry. Strict musical standards formulated around trepidation of crossing into a mystical “beat of the world” quickly creates repetitive and dry worship services, leaving church leaders and congregations horrified of potentially allowing the flesh to even minimally react in accordance with the moving of the Holy Spirit. For fear of causing a man to stumble in his walk with the Lord, women are shamed into over-covering their God’s given bodies, placing the burden of responsibility solely on the woman and other women around her to do anything necessary to prevent alluring the eye of a man in any manner. This in turn results in outdated, frumpy clothing, and limited jewelry or make-up coined as Biblical modesty. While this develops a culture of pride in fulfilling one’s duty towards modesty, a stark contrast that focuses on business attire promotes the facade of a mature spiritual walk in a vast quantity of churches, passing judgement on a man not wearing a suit and tie, or on a woman for not having her hair, make-up and jewelry fashioned in a way that is considered “presentable before the Lord.” Outfits and appearances, as well as songs and performance styles, are scrutinized to the fullest extent of Pharisaical law, creating a false sense of spirituality that not only justifies and covers sin, but neglects the true mental and emotional needs of the congregants and visitors to come.

*Disclaimer* This series, “Why Am I a Baptist?” is NOT an exhaustive list of IFB doctrine. Because of the autonomous nature of IFB churches, this evaluation is of the movement as a whole, rather than a hard-and-fast rule. It may be possible to find healthy IFB churches, but they are few and far between because of various associations known as “camps,” typically surrounding well-known preachers or preference of worship style.

Why Am I a Baptist?
IFB Doctrine: The Baptist Distinctives
IFB Churches: Patriarchy in Church Polity (Part One)
IFB Churches: Patriarchy and the Leading Lady (Part Two)
IFB Churches: Patriarchy in Marriage (Part Three)
IFB Churches: Patriarchy and Keeping at Home (Part Four)
IFB Churches: Patriarchy and Sexual Obedience (Part Five)
IFB Churches: Patriarchy and Domestic Abuse (Part Six)
IFB Standards: Rigid Music and Dress Standards (Part One)

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Why Am I a Baptist?

Sitting cozily on my bookshelf at home is a recorded message entitled, “Why I Am a Baptist.” This common lesson is harrowed from pulpits across the country, stirring up the hearts of listeners in their pews. Shouts of “Amen!” and “Glory to God!” resound through the usually quiet buildings and halls of Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) churches. Through James Carroll’s The Trail of Blood and John T. Christian’s The History of the Baptists, young, independent, fundamental Baptists are taught the value of their Christian heritage: a remnant of believers of “like-precious faith,” called by various names throughout the centuries- Donatists, Anabaptists, Puritans, Separatists, etc.- all heinously persecuted for their stance in believer’s baptism.

This “trail of blood” or common chord is delicately traced back to the time of Christ. That notion, however, is as equivalently ludicrous as concluding that any person who often consumed rice is of Asian descent and culture, or that anyone who, wrapped his head in a turban is part of radical Islam. (Side-note: men that wear turbans are Sikhs, not Moslem, but that is beside the point.) Nevertheless, in order to begin looking at the mind-sets of the majority of IFB churches, one must begin with noting the baseline doctrine of Baptist churches, commonly coined, “The Baptist Distinctives,” as outlined in the following acrostic:

Bible as Soul Authority of Faith and Practice
Autonomy of the Local Church
Priesthood of Every Believer
Two Church Ordinances
Individual Soul Liberty
Saved Church Membership
Two Church Offices: Pastor and Deacons
Separation of Church and State

Growing up in strict IFB churches and attending a well-known IFB Bible college in the southeastern United States, my husband and I are both well-acquainted with the Baptist Distinctives, and, unfortunately, with the legalism and obligations. As our family has just recently left a once-balanced but now spiritually-abusive IFB church, we have been forced to re-evaluate our understanding of biblical expectations and what is considered healthy in a church for the protection of our family. As we consider the requirements for a church home, we are finding that most of those requirements are standards, not doctrine. Therefore, today, I want to pose the question, “Why AM I a Baptist?” In order to answer such a loaded question, we need to look at the standards and status quos of the majority of IFB churches that will be addressed in more detail within the following weeks:

Patriarchy in Church Polity and Home
Rigid Music and Dress Standards
Idolization of the Preacher and Absolute Power
Discouragement of Individual Thought Outside of Established Ideals.
Extreme Sensitivity to Natural Sexual Affection

Not exactly the typical Baptist acrostic, but this one seems to be more appropriate: P-R-I-D-E. Baptists take a dangerous level of pride in their Christian heritage, staunch standards, and convictions, claiming to be the only church that rightly divides the word of truth, condemning anyone who dares to disagree. Their arrogance creates a cult-like environment where questioning is only encouraged with the goal of conformity, instilling unity through fear within the congregants.

Why AM I a Baptist? I’m not so sure anymore, but this may be the start of my family leaving the IFB movement. I hope this series provides the information necessary for families seeking shelter from the abuse or just enough light to open the eyes of those still inside.

*Disclaimer* Because of the autonomous nature of IFB churches, this evaluation is of the movement as a whole, rather than a hard-and-fast rule. It may be possible to find healthy IFB churches, but they are few and far between because of various associations known as “camps,” typically surrounding well-known preachers or preference of worship style.

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Boundaries

I only vaguely remember the conversation that day despite the hours spent attempting to recall the specifics, still attempting to catch my breath as panic sets off in my brain. I believe it was the summer after my mentors had been instrumental in breaking off the relationship with the man who is now my husband, shattering it to pieces six days before he was going to ask my dad’s permission to court me. I returned home from Bible college an emotional wreck, having fallen in love only to have it ripped away. What I could not see was that my mentors were terrified of losing control, particularly the husband who likely could not let go of his sexual fantasies. We set up a list of rules for summer break ranging from rising early for devotions, to her husband having my Facebook and email passwords once again. I was not to contact the man I had fallen in love with, nor any friends from college because they were not part of that “ten percent” who “truly loved the Lord.” Mrs. Julie described it as a baby who is just starting to crawl. She starts off in the pack n’ play until she can prove that she is ready for a larger area to play in. She is later moved to a play pen where she has greater freedom within the boundaries. Eventually, as she learns to walk and proves that she can obey the rules, the boundaries are extended yet further.

When I first started with a new therapist in 2018, I also started equine therapy for a few months. The kind yet independent and assertive woman who worked with the horses hit on multiple triggers in my first session, beginning with an introduction to the horses where she spoke about having authority and being submissive. As we reached the smallest horse, who I called Short-Stuff in my head, she spoke of boundaries. She spoke of how after they learn to follow the rules in the smaller gate, then they can have freedom to ride and explore in the field. I wanted to run. I wanted to shut down. She attempted to ask me what I had learned that day, but my chest tightened preventing my breath. I remembered the pack n’ play. I remembered the play pen. I remembered the boundaries of not accessing the internet on my own, not singing harmony in church or playing any sort of instruments. I remembered not being able to go around and say hello to my church family, but how I had to sit there, still, and give an “honest” answer of how I was doing when people asked. I felt the humiliation and the fear.

Mrs. Julie and the horse therapist were both right: Boundaries are essential in life. What Mrs. Julie missed, however, is that we need HEALTHY boundaries. We need boundaries that limit how people can treat us, whether that be in their words or in physical force. We need boundaries in the standards that pastors and church members are allowed to impose on our lives (hint: they shouldn’t be allowed AT ALL!). We need boundaries even in families in terms of whether we want to be touched, including embracement and outward displays of affection at family gatherings. We need to learn to be assertive about those boundaries because the people who do not care will overstep every time. Fences aide in keeping the wolves and predators out. Boundaries are important, but they need to be healthy.

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What Are You Plugged Into?

The long buzzing wires of the power-plant hang perfectly in the balance over the soft-flowing river, electricity surging through at lightening speeds. A tender infant’s favorite fuzzy bear lights up with contagious laughter and merry song, but its energy begins to wane over the course of days. Long gone are the days of fire-lit torches and oil lamps in first-world countries, society heavily dependent upon electricity to function: lights, doors, phones, televisions, computers, cars, and more. The efficiency and dependability of those items, however, are heavily reliant upon the power source. Is there enough power? Is it a pure source of power? Is the voltage too high, placing too great a strain and demand? As Christians, what are we plugged into? Is it too great, not enough, or holding us back? Or is the electrical output overriding the computer system’s limits, frying the circuits and rendering seemingly useless without repair?

The demands of a pastor or teacher are often too strenuous, adding restrictions and rules on top of what is truly demanded in Scripture. Are skirts long enough? Are collars high, sleeves long, and material loose? The subtle show of skin or appearance of figure will lead a man to fall. Are the men wearing suits in the summer heat, daily scraping off their facial hair, marching forward with a heavy black Bible under their arms? No one will support them in the ministry without a white collared shirt and tie. Are households in church every time the doors are open, despite sickness and family gatherings? Do women touch-up their make-up five minutes before their husbands arrive home, dinner on the table and children decked in freshly-pressed clothes after a grueling day of isolation, chaos, and bodily fluids, now taking on her duty as a proper help-meet for her husband? Generations of parents continue to uphold these ideals based on their own childhood, never questioning the validity of such teachings, oblivious to the sparkle soon lost in their children’s eyes.

What are we dependent upon as Christians? Are we taught that we must hang on every word and beckoning call of the preacher in order to attain salvation or a level of spiritual maturation and faith? Do we rest in just getting through the next hellacious verbal or physical beating from pastor or spouse with integrity intact, holding onto submission as key? Have we developed co-dependent relationships, soul-ties as deep as David and Jonathan? When the inevitable break occurs, the one dependent is mostly destroyed, while the stronger merely continues on with barely a scratch or taste of the tragedy left behind. Through innocent fervor or fear of hell-fire, we rely on other people, practices, and principles to survive the ravaging tactics of spiritual abuse in our churches and homes.

As lightening strikes, the power plant explodes and crumbles. The whirring current comes to a halt, leaving everything desolate, and shattered in pieces because the electrical strain is too great to bear. The human body and psyche can only handle so much. Or maybe it’s the slow, waning drain of the teddy bear battery, as functions shut down one by one. Movements become robotic and the musical notes slur together. Life slowly drains from the little bear, to the point that most will never notice until the battery is nearly dead.

Christ said, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest into your souls. For my yoke is easy , and my burden light.” (Matthew 11:28-30). His intended yoke is much lighter then the legalism of man. The Bible says in Deuteronomy 33:25, “As thy days, so shall thy strength be.” God said to Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for thee…for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” God’s demands are never greater than what He gives us strength for, but man’s expectations and standards create a load we are not meant to bear, strained even more without the power to sustain them over a period of time.

What are you plugged into?

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