During my time with the United Pentecostal Church, I felt like my heart had been broken so many times that I was always picking up pieces to try and put myself back together. So many hopes and dreams shattered along with my marriage.
This August 3rd will mark 15 years since my divorce, another shattering moment and there I was trying to pick up pieces of my heart. I was still attending an UPC church and I had one friend who tried to help.
My other friends were worldly ladies who I worked with and who the church frowned upon. But that was the beginning of the end of church as I knew it. My friends at work took me to lunch to celebrate my divorce with a cake and funny gifts just to lift me up.
My divorce was ignored at church except for the wives telling me to stay away from their husbands and not to even talk to them. There was never any love or support shown to me except for my one friend.
So when I left, she left also and is now very active in the church we attend today. God revealed to me that although we are abandoned by those who you love and no matter how many times your heart is broken, He is there to help pick up the pieces with admonishment to the pastors who have been cruel and hurtful to those with broken hearts.
The weak you have not strengthened, nor have you healed those who were sick, nor bound up the broken, nor brought back what was driven away, nor sought what was lost; but with force and cruelty you have ruled them.
Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the LORD: “ As I live,” says the Lord GOD, “surely because My flock became a prey, and My flock became food for every beast of the field, because there was no shepherd, nor did My shepherds search for My flock, but the shepherds fed themselves and did not feed My flock. Ezekiel 34:4, 7-8 NKJV
I eventually saw that God will take care of you and those abusers will get their due. When I started letting God help me again and with the help of my “worldly” friends I began to heal from the inside out.
So now 15 years has passed since my divorce and I’m happy to say I’m healed from that heartache and even have a new love interest that God brought into my life. We’ve been together 5 years.
I’ve been delivered from the UPCI, bruised and battered spiritually, but I’m healing and the broken pieces of my heart are being healed and restored.
Praise the LORD! For it is good to sing praises to our God; For it is pleasant, and praise is beautiful. The LORD builds up Jerusalem; He gathers together the outcasts of Israel. He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds. Psalms 147:1-3
I may have been an outcast, a divorced woman is a stigma that is hard to shake in the UPC, but I no longer have a stigma now that I’m free and the pieces have all been picked up.
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