I recently received word a man I knew from my former church passed away after battling a long illness for years. While the details of his illness are not known, the part that stands out to me is whether or not the individual made peace with his family as well as with his Maker.
I attended and worshiped at the same church with him for over 16 years. We sat in the same lectures from the pulpit about how we were to place our “calling” above all other relationships, including those with our loved ones. Some of us had intimate relationships with a significant other (I had a girlfriend when I joined the church, and still maintain my involvement ended our relationship). One of the Scriptures used to teach us the priority of our ministerial calling was found in Matthew.
Matthew 19:29 (KJV) – And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.
We were told for the longest time that if we spent more of our vacation/leave time with our families instead of the church, we were wrong. Some of my friends in the church admitted they completely ruined their relationships with parents and siblings all in the name of obedience to the church and its teachings. I was fortunate not to have done this, but nonetheless my own family relations were strained.
My friend who passed recently was one of those whose devotion to what he felt was God’s calling – remaining single, forsaking family, and devoting every waking moment to the ministry – took a serious toll on him over the years. As his health deteriorated, the one question unanswered is this: did he reconsider some of his decisions and make amends with loved ones who weren’t part of the church? I pray he did, but will never know.
Some of the men who still attend are in similar straits. Their only family is in the church; their natural family relationships are strained almost beyond repair. A couple of them are left with no option as they have no surviving family members left. That is just as bad, as they have no one to turn to outside the church.
I still believe Jesus wants us to place Him first, but not completely sever family ties in doing so. How can destroying a relationship with one’s parents fulfill this Scripture?
Exodus 20:12 (KJV) – Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
Answer: It doesn’t.
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