All my life, I have been addicted to sugar. Mind you, I was born and raised in Germany, where the streets are paved with chocolate and we bathe in creamy cocoa. In other words, with sweets being so readily available, mind-blowingly tasty, and making for a wonderful deserved or undeserved treat, I became cookie monster’s younger and less blue sister at an early age. What does my sugar addiction have to do with the topic of spiritual abuse?
It will not come at a great surprise that my old gang used just about any little fact about a person to shame us, to exert power over us, to make us feel incompetent in every way. While the leader was highly athletically inclined, some of the group’s members could not keep up, and extra pounds became extra poundings. While I never looked overweight due to an active lifestyle (I couldn’t afford a car and was too lazy to wait for the bus), I would always be found eating cookies or massive amounts of food, should we go to a buffet, much to the embarrassment of the leader, who had to give me looks, and eventually a not so subtle speech. I loved to eat. Come to think of it, eating was about the happiest thing I could be doing. Did the speech about eating normal amounts of food help? Did the advice to sit down while eating, rather than walking around with candy in my hand set me free? Did force-fasting fix my food addiction? Nope, nopety-nope, nope.
When shortly after being kicked out I moved to the US, things began to change. Knowing the US culture you might raise an eyebrow or two, but it so happened that, praise be to God, he put a friend in my life, Ashley Darkenwald, and between the two of us and the Holy Spirit, real miracles occurred. Ashley had already been a Personal Trainer and I started working as office staff at the gym she owned at the time. Over the course of the following years, we developed a deep friendship around our mutual interests to grow closer to God, healthier in our lifestyle, and altogether freer. She brought in knowledge about health and wellness, and paired with my background in theology and theology gone bad, we had much food for thought to chew on. One of the results was a book that she wrote and I helped as a contributor and editor, Living Wellness. We realized that there is already much information out there to learn a healthy lifestyle and many companies offer crutches and weightless diets, but what we wanted to offer was going to be different. We thought about what had helped us find freedom from addiction to food and sugar and motivates us to this day to take good care of our bodies; God’s love.
One of the hardest things for me to come to terms with was allowing God access to the way I eat, especially after going without food or being shamed over eating. But when I invited God into my journey to pursue more health, I found freedom when I thought I would put myself in prison. Not that I have arrived, but I have given God full permission to guide me, not just by the knowledge I received about what healthy living looks like, but also by what my body craves, and what makes me feel good in the long run, not just the moment of eating it. I decided to face that idol food had become in my life. It had become the source of my happiness and I was reaping its rewards, thyroid problems, depression, weight gain, lack of energy, etc. Mindlessly and spiritlessly eating was making me sick. But, truth will set you free when you choose to receive it, and guess what, day by day I grew more free and healthier. I am off all meds I was ever prescribed in Germany and enjoy energy and freedom from addiction to sugar or food thoughts twirling in a pink tutu all around my brain space. I believe God has paved a way to more abundant living, and having been promised that in my cult, I am blessed to have found a greater taste of it far away from it.
I am a Personal Trainer and Nutrition Coach now of over 6 years and love to support clients who desire change but don’t know how. We have not invented a magic cure to anything, but what we have put on paper and made many videos about is stuff that has helped us. Honestly, if we would write the book again right now, parts or nuances would look differently. But I believe we have created helpful tools to come along side anyone who is looking for more freedom and balance in their life, especially when it comes to their health and lifestyle. We offer knowledge and reflection, accountability and inspiration and at the end of the day we have nothing for you but the grace that God has had for us. We don’t offer a program but we do believe that Living Wellness could change your life. I have facilitated a Living Wellness Growth Group at my house and at churches. Even if you do none of the homework (reading and reflecting and watching short videos), you will get a lot out of the group meetings.
I have decided to attempt to run my first online group, beginning January 27th, 2019 at 4-5:30pm. The total cost for 8 sessions will be $80 (sign up here: https://www.lwgg.org/shop/christina-online-growthgroup-dc7kt). We only have space for tops 15 people, in my experience not everyone attends each meeting but even if so, we will keep personal sharing time brief so everyone can participate (or not!) in the way they feel comfortable. We will not be a therapy group but a support group. One of the group’s rules (no unspoken rules with me 🙂 ) is that we don’t try to fix or rescue each other. A safe space to share means no one will offer unsolicited advice, not me either. We will meet via zoom (free meeting platform). You can order the book here (https://www.lwgg.org/shop/living-wellness-for-growth-groups-book). We also have an e-version of the book. While that one is convenient and cheaper, I’d recommend an external journal, as we have many questions for you to reflect on during the reading time. Should you have any questions, contact me via gesundheitservices@gmail.com. Just a heads up about the lwgg.org website, the company is changing platforms soon but the links should redirect you to where you can sign up. If you would like to learn more about me and Ashley, check out our live-show (Living Wellness Live) and no-audience show (Living Wellness Show), we have 7 episodes online. Here is one of my favorites (because it has an interview with Brian Zahnd in it and the food prepared in the kitchen was very tasty): https://youtu.be/sT9M_LUX1Qs
I am excited for more freedom in the year to come! Should you allow me to join your journey by signing up for an 8 week group, I am SO looking forward to walking by your side for awhile!
NOTE: The winter group has been cancelled and Christina is hoping to offer another in the spring.
