Art Therapy Toolbox: Getaway Guidebook

If you could go on vacation anywhere you wanted, where would you go? Would it be the warm, sunny beaches of Hawaii or the Caribbean? The tantalizing, exquisite tastes of Italy or Greece? Maybe more of a rugged adventure in the Outback like the Crocodile Hunter? But then again, how is your work schedule? Do you own your own business or does your boss keep you late? How are your finances? The average person simply does not have the funds and the paid-time off to simply take off work on a whim to take an international excursion or a getaway to some remote area of the country. Some have children and pets to care for, or a house and vehicle to look after. Some cannot get away from their classroom or business for more than a few hours, only to attempt a decent night’s sleep. This exercise is designed to facilitate the opportunity for mental “mini-vacations” through the hum and drum of life when a vacation would not otherwise be possible.

Much like the Sensory Relief exercise, this one involves searching through magazines to find locations, places and settings that one finds peaceful or exhilarating, where one would love to go on a vacation. When using the Sensory Relief book, I found that I loved nature and preferred going to a different environment, rather than simply experimenting with the olfactory or auditory senses. Rather than imagining biting into a soft, double chocolate-chip cookie with a crispy outside and delicious, melting chocolate chunks throughout, I found it more effective, personally, to allow my mind to wander to the front of a cozy fireplace, wrapped up safely in a thick, fuzzy blanket.

I cheated a little by searching online for settings that I knew were comforting, rather than searching through magazines, but at this point, I knew what I needed. I needed nature or the hidden comforts of home. Sitting in a church service about evangelism, yet another trigger to my past, I could open the miniature version of my Getaway Guidebook in my purse and escape to this path in the woods where leaves decorated the trail, painted in vast array of fall colors. I could hear them crunch under my feet with every step, ever-so-gingerly approaching the coarse wooden bridge and peering over in awe. I could feel the autumn breeze against my cheeks, relieving the tightness in my chest with the crisp morning dew. While we cannot always take a vacation when we want to, this Getaway Guidebook establishes the opportunity to take a mental getaway for five, ten, fifteen minutes, or more as possible.

               *For more art therapy ideas from Managing Traumatic Stress through Art, check out the full list of exercises from the blog post: “Managing Traumatic Stress Through Art.

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Art Therapy Toolbox: Paving the Way

Where do you see yourself in terms of healing by next month? What about in six months or a year? Five years? Ten years? I saw myself still struggling but hopefully managing better. Not long before this exercise, I finally accepted that depression, anxiety, complex PTSD, triggers, intrusive thoughts and an emotional roller coaster were simply my lot in life, one I may have to deal with until the day I die. I stopped fighting its existence and settled on simply managing. This exercise has been a challenge in terms of realizing and accepting that there truly CAN BE a point of healing. After all the counsel I had received with little progress in nine years, five years of rotating therapists thanks to a government system, my current and absolutely amazing therapist thinking I was mentally healthy- until it all became visible with the next drama-filled, controlling church situation, that is!- and all of the messages on “whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” (KJV, Philippians 4:11), I gave up hope of having my life back. But this exercise gave me a light at the end of the tunnel, a path laden with stepping stones to get there. I could visibly see the areas I needed to develop in to get to where I wanted to be mentally, emotionally, and hopefully, spiritually.

Trauma affects our inner strengths: while some are hindered or seem to disappear, others are strengthened or even created as a result. Certain strengths are particularly helpful with managing stress, especially traumatic stress, and this exercise allows one to create a symbolic path of current strengths and important strengths to develop while moving from the traumatic situation to mental and emotional wellness. With a provided list of inner strengths in hand for ideas and support, I was to choose between five and ten strengths that I currently possess and then describe on paper how they have been affected by my traumatic experiences as well as ones that formed because of them. Later in the exercise, I was to take colored stones and coordinate each one with the inner strengths that I already possess:

      • Strong-will: I am more compassionate towards others, but even-more ready to fight for others and sometimes myself.
        Color Choice: Red- Important but can be dangerous
      • Encourager: I must spend more time caring for myself and my children now than before and I am often discouraged, but I still try to encourage others when I can.
        Color Choice: Blue- Calm, ethos
      • Organizational Skills (new): This has greatly developed as a result of attempting to manage anxiety through obsessive compulsive tendencies.
        Color Choice: Orange- more OCD-based, requires a lot of energy and attention
      • Sensitivity to others: I have always been sensitive to noticing the emotional and circumstantial struggles of others, but I am even more aware. I am now, however, more guarded of my own emotions and struggles.
        Color Choice: Darker Purple- ethos, feelings
      • Curiosity: I am now much more careful.
        Color Choice: Yellow- inquisitive
      • Honesty: This one has been greatly strengthened. I hate being lied to or deceived.
        Color Choice: Green- pure
      • Integrity: When I completed this, I wrote “questionable,” but truly, I have a strong desire to do right, just not under the confines of legalism. I need to figure out what is right in freedom versus what is actually sin.
        Color Choice: Pink- raw
      • Optimism/Innocence (on initial list of affected strengths but not on picture): Basically gone.

Now that I can visibly see a list of my strengths, rather than just the areas I felt like I had failed, the authors provide a list of inner strengths that are key to progressing towards wellness.  I was to create several “stepping stones” and chose colors to correspond with the inner strengths already listed directly in the exercise (Managing Traumatic Stress Through Art, Page 28):

      • Determination to overcome the trauma (Red)
      • Will to struggle and succeed (Orange)
      • Faith in myself and supportive others (Yellow)
      • Courage to explore circumstances and aftereffects of my trauma (Green)
      • Responsibility to meet my personal needs (Pink for vulnerability)
      • Creativity to imagine inner balance (Light purple)
      • Resilience to inner stress (Light blue- requires calmness)
      • Open-mindedness for growth (Yellow- requires optimism)”

While I certainly did not have faith in myself and supportive others, resilience for inner stress, or even the creativity to imagine inner balance, there were several I could see that I already possessed: determination to overcome the trauma, open-mindedness for growth, and working on being responsible to meet my personal needs. Others were just starting to grow: courage to explore the circumstances and aftereffects, and a will to struggle and succeed.  I was nowhere near ready for some, but I was surprised to realize that I was already cultivating several of these strengths even though others seemed impossible to obtain.

Finally, I was to design a path that was symbolic of my own recovery process. For me, that path is not straight, but rather winding with twists and curves. It goes to the right, then the left, and back towards the right again. I pictured a traffic circle that looped back to itself, never sure if there would be anything productive or harmful on a given path under already chosen. I chose a snake to represent my trauma, the trauma that started with my mentor’s husband and the hours of mental, emotional and spiritual abuse that went on for years. The hardest part, however, was choosing a symbol to represent “a state of well-being.” Was this even possible? What does it look like? Can I really get from that snake to a place of actually living and enjoying life, a place of spiritual health? I finally settled on a multi-colored heart to represent the various facets of a healthy mental state. I can still only wonder how that time will feel and what it will be like. I am around the middle of my path, unsure of what direction to go in, but I can see those traits I need to develop on the way. I can see the ones that I still have or ones that have resulted because of the trauma. I am not a failure without any character simply because I struggle to read the Bible and pray. But being able to read and pray is definitely one of my future goals for wellness, as is a healthy self-esteem and confidence in how God has made me.

*For more art therapy ideas from Managing Traumatic Stress through Art, check out the full list of exercises from the blog post: “Managing Traumatic Stress Through Art.

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Art Therapy Toolbox: Comfort Box

This is one that I LOVE already: The Comfort Box! The idea is to take any box with a lid (shoe box, file box, oatmeal box, etc.) and fill it with items that are comforting, set aside for times of stress, depression, anxiety, fears, and overwhelming emotions. One of the best parts is that the box can be as plain or as decorated as desired, not requiring any level of craftiness or artistic ability,  but decorating it can be just as therapeutic as the items inside. For mine, I chose a simple file box from Walmart and covered it in soft, snuggle-fabric that was seventy-percent off on President’s Day.

Through this exercise, I learned that the things that comfort me are the ones that remind me that I am loved. Just for example, here are the things that are located inside my box for the difficult moments:

  • Small teddy bear- bought on sale after Valentine’s day because it helps me to have something to hold
  • Red scarf sprayed with hubby’s cologne- reminds me of our dating/courting days in college
  • Five small $1 candles from Walmart for sensory/mindfulness
      • Baked Apple Pie/Hazelnut- Both calming scents that I love
      • Mandarin Sunset- Sweet, and uplifting
      • Honeysuckle- Takes me back to my home growing up
      • Lime-Coconut- Takes me back to the strange candle my dad bought for me during college that made me feel cared for during one of the hardest times in my life
  • Chocolates- Three different kinds because a girl needs her chocolate and my mood determines what type I need at the time.
  • Pictures of Hubby and me while we were dating
  • Cards- two from my husband from when we were dating, two from people who have been encouragements to me along the way
  • Pictures with specific verses- While much of Scripture triggers me, there are a few verses that were helps through the trauma and after the trauma at different times
  • Poem from “She Rises”- to help in the times when I do not see the point in trying
  • Lotion from Bath and Body Works- sensory/mindfulness/calming
  • Blanket (blue and black, plush)- For comfort in the hard times, a place to hide, and maybe a way to snuggle when my husband is with me because he has been my rock through so many trials
  • Roses (fake, one blue, one pink)- Takes me back to growing up with my mom and romantic gifts from my husband

Now, if my husband made a comfort box, I imagine it would likely be filled with comic books (DC and Marvel), Super Mario figures, cans of Mountain Dew, and video games, but to each their own. When I was looking at going into surgery last week, preparing for the possibility of a repeat mental health crises following the procedure, I was able to take some time to myself, open the box and remember that I am not alone, and that there is a reason to keep fighting. Today, after another anxiety attack during church, this box is a reminder that there are, in fact, good times and my home is a safe place despite the chaos. It is a designated place to find comfort in times of anxiety and distress, times of triggers or reminders, or when depression seems to take over and hope is waning fast. And it is made specifically to meet MY needs at the time, not a generic one-size-fits-all sort of prescription for the pain.

*For more art therapy ideas from Managing Traumatic Stress through Art, check out the full list of exercises from the blog post: “Managing Traumatic Stress Through Art.

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Art Therapy Toolbox: Support Net

Who do you reach out to when the blessings come or when life takes a turn for the worse? Who do you celebrate with when you get a promotion, a new house, new car, or a baby on the way, furry or otherwise? Who mourns with you and gives guidance when you are laid off from work, the house catches fire, the vehicle is totaled, or a family member is at death’s door? Too bad we cannot really call the Ghostbusters to deal with our problems or wish for a genie to stop time, just to bask in the moments of peace and grandeur. What we may not have fully analyzed, however, are the strengths and weaknesses of our current support net, maybe because of feeling too overwhelmed and alone in the traumas and trials of life. This exercise gives the opportunity to determine who is there for the joys but does not understand the heaviness of triggers and sorrows. It reveals those you can already call at two in the morning, as well as the areas that lack support and strength. It is a chance to look for the untapped resources that might already be available just a few steps away.

When I started working on this support net, it was only a few weeks after my first (and thankfully only) suicide attempt and I was an absolute mess. I had just come out of a third spiritually abusive situation a few months before, a once-balanced church that expected me to be a powerless, voiceless child as they attempted to manipulate my husband in order to control my actions. Leaving the only church my children had ever known turned their world upside down, and yet, all in one week, a few friends and family members decided to try their hands of control in our lives instead of allowing us to re-group and establish protective boundaries. I thought I was the reason for my family’s pain, and particularly my husband’s, my greatest trigger for intrusive thoughts that eventually led to a breakdown that should have resulted in admittance to a hospital. In the weeks following that day, I felt destroyed and alone, unsure of the non-judgmental arms and ears to reach out to for a subject coined taboo in our society. Our church family of five years was basically gone, we were visiting an IFB-lite church, and my own parents were clueless of my mental health crises. Through this exercise, I found my closest support net, and was to assign a symbolic fabric/material, as well as a color/pattern to represent each one of them.

  • My Mom (Light blue cotton with red hospital symbols)- The cotton is comfortable, practical, gets the job done, and is dependable. I can reach out to her multiple times a day when I’m hurting, even though she is six hundred miles away.
  • My Dad (Off-white wool): Wool is rough and scratchy, though sturdy. He can rub people the wrong way, but he’s strong and always there to take down a problem like a bull in a china-shop. Never mess with the daughter of a military dad!
  • My Husband (Burnt-orange jersey knit): I had strongly considered denim, like that old pair of worn jeans that is comfortable and dependable, despite being often rubbed from the trials the wearer has put it through. Let us just say my husband was not exactly thrilled with this idea, but more importantly, it did not seem to fit exactly right with what I wanted to portray. I finally settled on jersey knit, the type of material maxi-skirts are made from. It is relaxed and stretchy, yet durable and comfortable. But the variation in color is from my decisions putting him through the wringer, stretched-out between his life goals and my mental health issues, our churches standards and ideals versus my needing independence and a voice, even as a woman. I was not sure how much more he could take, but he was still there. And then, of course, burnt-orange because it is the favorite color. I know, he’s weird. So am I. But the color has been growing on me over the years.
  • My Therapist (Pink comfort fleece with white stars): Comfort fleece is strong, but also soft, comfortable, relaxing, warm and cozy. Her office is a safe place to express the heaviness of my heart, the depth of the rage, and the intense fear paralyzing me from moving forward. She understands the crazy and helps me to realize the freedom I need to take back from the cult-crazy.
  • A friend (Fraying Rope): Through the chaos of leaving our old church, she was a rock in my life. But it seems too unstable now with a growing tension that could unravel our relationship at any moment. Note: I have since seen this almost completely unravel, but we are currently working on how to make it stronger again or leave it by the way-side. This exercise helped me to finally acknowledge that fact and prepare me for the circumstances to come.
  • A friend (purple, with some shreds and holes): Stretched thin, and broken. She’s sweet and kind, but not necessarily a good choice for support right now. She has been traumatized herself and she needs time for her own healing right now. Another note: I was wrong. I really could have gone to her shortly after everything happened.
  • Spiritual abuse support group (string with multi-colored beads): Different/varying views, always changing with new people, offers different perspectives, always there. The group is completely different from my Independent Fundamental Baptist mindset, which is not only strengthening, but refreshing. They understand where I am coming from with triggers and can often given insight when I do not understand my fears and hesitations.
  • Moms Group (Green silk)- Beautiful, but not my norm; picture of what things could be. Going to a few meetings of this mom’s group further opened my eyes before we ever left our church about how it *should* feel being around other Christians and being part of a church family.

There are several that I did not include on here who are out of state because I was shutting down mentally and emotionally, but this reminded me that I do have varying supports around me after my safety net at church finally disintegrated. I finally know where I can go when my children are sick and my schedule is filled with fevers and appointments. I know where I can turn when a panic attack hits during church or when problems come up at home. It also gave me perspective on an unstable friendship before it started to fully unravel. There are people around me, and there are also holes that could use more support, but thankfully, as I learn more about myself in the other exercises, I am learning of many untapped resources.

*For more art therapy ideas from Managing Traumatic Stress through Art, check out the full list of exercises from the blog post: “Managing Traumatic Stress Through Art.

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Art Therapy Toolbox: Sensory Relief

Does the trauma ever cause you to shut-down to the point of indifference and apathy, merely attempting to survive through the day only to repeat the next day? Are there hobbies or activities that you enjoy, things that pique your interest and curiosity, or is there no time, no energy, and no desire to even try? Yep, that’s me. Many times over and more days than I can count like that over the last decade. Because of trauma, people sometimes close themselves off for the sake of survival, in turn creating a situation where they do not experience the many sensory aspects of life.

For this exercise, I was supposed to write down things that are pleasant to me in terms of sight, smell, touch/texture, taste and sound, and then look through magazines for items that appeal to my senses. I cut out various food items such as gooey chocolate chip cookies with a crispy outsides and soft, tender insides, and rib eye steaks seared and seasoned to perfection with savory sides. I found pictures of furry kittens with massive eyes and little twitching ears, and long-haired dogs to imagine snuggling with and running through their long coats, smelling that all-too familiar dog smell and of course that not-so-pleasant dog-breath, something that somehow brought comfort in the known.

What I found through this exercise, that I had initially dreaded, was that there ARE things in life that I ENJOY. I started re-learning that I was my own individual person, not just a home-school mom of three little ones who has been beat-up through various instances of spiritual abuse. I’m not just a house-wife or a “help-meet”. I am an individual person with things that I enjoy and find pleasure in. The purpose is to take this book during a time of indifference or being overwhelmed, and reacquaint oneself with feeling, seeing, hearing, touch and taste. It reawakens the senses that have not had a variety of stimulation recently due to the depression or anxiety. One of my favorites in this book ended up being in a nice, warm bath. I could feel the warm water around me, touch and see the bubbles floating. I could hear birds chirping outside the small window, singing in my own little haven. I could smell the body wash as it gingerly filled the air, reminiscent of the flowers blooming outside. I had no idea how to get back in touch with the things I was missing and longing for until I was able to create a book, just for me, that had a plethora of the things that I enjoyed.

*For more art therapy ideas from Managing Traumatic Stress through Art, check out the full list of exercises from the blog post: “Managing Traumatic Stress Through Art.

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