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Top July 2019 Posts

In July 2019, the blog section of the spiritual abuse website had 7423 visits, with 4107 being unique. Below you will find the top ten read posts from four authors.

We are always looking for new people to join our group of bloggers, so please consider registering and watch your email for additional information. Be sure to check your spam folder. How frequently you post is up to you and no one needs to be a professional writer. Let your voice be heard and help others recover.  Read here.

United Pentecostal Pastor Howard Geck & Dexter Lee Hensley – author Lois (accessed 567 times)

A UPC Church Responds To Sexual Abuse – author Lois (accessed 354 times)

Woman ‘in the Spirit’ on a Jamaican Flight – author Lois (accessed 263 times) Unfortunately, hundreds of people keep spreading this lie from October 2017.

Fake Trump Tweet to the NAYC – author Lois (accessed 178 times)

United Pentecostal Pastor Dannie Hood’s Refusal To Testify – author Lois (accessed 165 times)

Why Oneness Pentecostals have Salvation Wrong (Acts 2:38) and you should Avoid It – author DividingHisWord

The Impact of God Distortions – author AJ

Harmed In The United Pentecostal Church – author Lois

Art Therapy Toolbox: Comfort Box – author Chloe

Am I a Christian if I Don’t Go To Church? – author DividingHisWord

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Demon Possession Causing Mental Illness? – In Sickness & in Hell – Video Blog

Disclaimer: if what I am sharing isn’t helpful to your journey, please put it on a shelf! As always, I am revisiting practices/teachings of my evangelical cult and how those have affected me. You will also learn how I feel I found healing from mental health issues! Be blessed abundantly!

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Leaving Behind Performance Based Religion

The following is a guest post by John, a former member of the United Pentecostal Church.

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In my world and realm of connection of UPCI (and such like churches), I am noticing a trend. Now I realize this isn’t the same in all circles or regions, but it could be soon.

The once high standards are falling away. The outward standards are being let down, reinterpreted, not preached as much, and in some instances being done away with.

Some churches are allowing saints to go to theaters, sporting events, allow facial hair on men, allow hair coloring, allow hair trimming, allow some make-up, etc…

For someone that left an ultra conservative legalistic Oneness church, this makes it tempting to return to one of these. They can still enjoy the worship service and the friendships they have been accustomed to without as much condemnation or guilt.

I’m going to steal the analogy I heard one of my former pastors use, it’s like putting “lipstick on a pig.” When they remove old standards there are simply new ones that replace them that determine your salvation. The following phrase was often said in such liberal setting, “you can’t behave your way into heaven but you sure can misbehave your way into hell.” It is still performance based religion. Whether it’s your pastor or fellow members watching you to see if you dress or appear right, OR if they are simply watching now if you talk or act right, it’s still the same mindset!

This church culture may start to water down their so-called standards but they will still treat sin the same. Sure they may have more patience, but they will still see you as someone that needs to ‘perform’ the role of a Christian, as they define it, to be saved. They still expect you to ‘fake it until you make it.’ Renaming or redefining the standards doesn’t change the fact they are trying to earn the right to maintain their salvation and it is that mindset that oppressed every man and woman.

I took some time away from a group for about three months. I needed to silence voices from both sides of this spectrum to make sure my influence was that of genuine ‘truth.’ In that time, I have seen how horribly divisive some churches are, even outside of Oneness churches. If you choose to live with God, then do it genuinely, not to please man; do it genuinely, not in hopes to generate a feeling; do it genuinely, not to complete a series of ‘checklists;’ do it genuinely, so that your relationship with him is your own!

Even in the watered down UPCI churches it is still divisive. It is still their ‘Acts 2:38’ message that is the only way, and that ‘my way or the highway’ mentality is a bunch of garbage. For three months I had been a part of a non-denominational Trinitarian church, until I learned they believed that if someone didn’t fully believe the Trinity then they weren’t saved. When I learned this I got so sick to my stomach. It was no different than what I just left. It’s not only the overwhelming standards and micromanaging of lives (not to minimize the affect of this stuff in our healing), but it is that overriding thought process that says beyond ‘belief’ we (a church,) have additional aspects that must be followed. It is this divisiveness that destroys, that generates the judgment, that fuels the micromanaging, that turns the wheels of the performance based religion and oppressed people.

I say all this… I know many are atheist now, or agnostic, or believers but not church goers. For each category I respect and understand your decisions and this isn’t necessarily for you directly. But for those looking or attending a new church, be wise. Even in the liberal Apostolics, Protestants, and non-denominational churches, there are those that have a performance based religion. I’m convinced in such atmosphere you won’t grow. It will be the lipstick on a pig. The same mindset, just different ways of doing it. I’m convinced there are churches that truly allow you to live, to exist without such condemnation. There are churches that believe that God isn’t concerned with changing our outward behaviors, but rather doing a work on the inside, that, yes, will eventually affect our outward behaviors naturally in everyone’s own time, and it’s okay that everyone’s journey is different. I personally am thankful that I have finally found one.

I’ll end with this… I have learned that I am sickened, and dare I say that I think God is also sickened, by churches that are legalistic, regardless if UPCI, Apostolic, Protestant, Non-denominational, or even Catholic/Orthodox. We all came out of an extreme version of it;  beware of the more subtle versions as well. I highly recommend that you don’t simply leave a church because it had the name UPCI, to another church simply because it’s name isn’t UPCI. Leave the performance based religion and enter into an actual joyful and liberating walk and journey with God!

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Am I a Christian if I Don’t Go To Church?

Are you a Christian? Am I a Christian? What does it take to be a Christian? These are questions that likely have been asked for millennia, nearly two to be exact. And of course, the answers change daily based on who you ask and what that person’s belief set is, of course, is strongly influenced by what denomination they choose to belong to.

The amazing thing is – as a Christian, one simply needs to look to the Scripture to answer their own question, and of course, the example of Christ that is set before us, and by His disciples, namely Paul. Most importantly, we seek the Spirit of God to answer these questions for us, as Scripture exposes to be the right (and best) way to find answers.

“As for you, the anointing [the special gift, the preparation] which you received from Him remains [permanently] in you, and you have no need for anyone to teach you. But just as His anointing teaches you [giving you insight through the presence of the Holy Spirit] about all things, and is true and is not a lie, and just as His anointing has taught you, you must remain in Him [being rooted in Him, knit to Him].” ~ 1 John 2:27, AMP

The anointing, that remains in you permanently (sealed with the Spirit until the day of Redemption, Ephesians 1:13) is there to teach you, and to be a guide to you in answering these questions, and more. Some people call it ‘conviction,’ that feeling you get in your conscience, that pricking feeling, whether or not you are on the right path.

When being asked to answer this question, I am always reminded of a single Scripture, and it is almost always my answer:

“If any of you lacks wisdom [to guide him through a decision or circumstance], he is to ask of [our benevolent] God, who gives to everyone generously and without rebuke or blame, and it will be given to him.” ~ James 1:5, AMP

So often, we as humans need/want another human to tell us what to do. We really can be sheep some times. And likewise, as humans, we believe it is our position to tell other humans what to do. This is especially true in religious settings.

From the dogmatic and fundamental Christian mindset, it is our duty (requirement, commandment) to share the Gospel through the means of telling people when/where they have failed or by telling them how they are wrong, rather than encouraging and leading them through love. (Just think of those street signs proclaiming who is going to hell, which I highly doubt has saved anyone.)

“Imitate me, just as I imitate Christ.” ~ 1 Corinthians 11:1, AMP

For others, sharing the Gospel is not a forced issue, but something that comes organically through their human interactions, anywhere, and at any time. Their goal isn’t to point out the sinner, but to point out Christ by example to the sinner, so that others may imitate and be provoked to good works of faith because of their lifestyle (the one providing the example). After all, Scripture teaches us;

“By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you have love and unselfish concern for one another.” ~ John 13:35, AMP

Likewise, the inverse is also true;

“Beware of the false prophets, [teachers] who come to you dressed as sheep [appearing gentle and innocent], but inwardly are ravenous wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them [that is, by their contrived doctrine and self-focus].” ~ Matthew 7:15-16, AMP 

Notice the intense difference? Love (focused on others) vs ‘their contrived doctrine and self-focus.’ (Look at my intelligence and ability, you should do what I say!) So my point is,  Scripture makes it clear your love for others, which produces action and behaviors that benefit others, is how you serve Christ, and one another, and is in fact, being Christian. Scripture also teaches us;

No one has greater love [nor stronger commitment] than to lay down his own life for his friends.” ~ John 15:13, AMP

Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you will/must physically die in order to fulfill this passage, although that may and is included in the context, by way of exemplifying Christ dying on the cross for our atonement. But it also includes your entirety. That can include your time, prayers, finances, food, clothing, shelter, heart, friendship, commitment, ear, counsel, and, most of all, love.

And most importantly, of all arguments in answering this question, is that YOU ARE the CHURCH. I am the Church. Every believer, sealed with the promise unto the day of Redemption is the CHURCH.

I remember a few weeks back meeting an older couple while sitting at the PUB (I recently wrote about this in my article Neither do I Condemn You.) and through our conversation, I learned that this wife no longer believed in Christ due to some abuse and misfortune that took place in her past. By the end of the evening, she was thanking God for our meeting, we all felt it was ordained, by God, and together we were able to minister to each other in faith-filled connection, in a Christian way.

Was that Church? There was no preacher. No altar. No offering plates. No communion. No music, choir or soloist. No piano, no organ, no guitar, bass or hymnal. There was no weeping, shouting, tongues, or interpretations. But it was Church in the truest sense of what we are to do as Christians – minister to others and exemplify the LOVE of Christ.

But am I Christian if I don’t go to Church?

Yes – Absolutely, and unequivocally, IF you are busy about your Father’s business, exemplifying the love of Christ to others, preferring others, supporting others, helping others, and being like Christ (the definition of the word, after all, is being Christ-Like). Look:

“Pure and unblemished religion [as it is expressed in outward acts] in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit and look after the fatherless and the widows in their distress, and to keep oneself uncontaminated by the [secular] world.” ~ James 1:27, AMP

And the reality is, via (non-commandment) examples of Scriptures, it is (and was in antiquity) quite NORMAL for Christians to gather and assemble, for the purpose of prayer, and support, and edification. In fact, the truest sense of the word ‘ekklesia’ originated as a Greek political assembly that came together, in body, to debate politics. This, of course, was later the word used to describe Judaic/Christian gatherings, wherein Synagogue, the Law of Moses was presented and debated, and later, Christian gatherings.

It is wrong (and equally wrong for someone to assume my teachings are anti-Assembly) to say you shouldn’t go to an assembly (today this is known as Church), or that there is no value in assembly. It is equally wrong to say that if someone doesn’t go to church (assembly) regularly, that they are not Christians.

And, let’s just be honest – people today (often) say that it is necessary for the growth and maturing of the Spirit of a person to go to Church. (eye roll) And then when challenged to provide Scriptural evidence of this (considering most early disciples were in such rural areas that ‘assembly’ was a rather rare thing), these same people may say, “But how can you edify and support one another and provoke each other to good works if you are not assembling together!”

This is likewise short-sighted and inaccurate, based on the average Sunday AM assembly of Christian ‘church’ in the North American modern era model. The majority of Churches today gather on a Sunday AM, at a predetermined time, with a predetermined schedule, a predetermined speaker with a predetermined message, preceded by predetermined songs and followed up by predetermined prayers, altar calls, offerings requests, program announcements, and dismissals, clean-up and prep for next Sunday AM.

If one attends church, listens to a single man (or woman) exercise a gift of teaching, plop $20 in the plate and goes out to lunch – how Christian are they? No more, or no less, than one who doesn’t attend that service.

I’m not about to announce my following of a man, because I follow no man, but I have admiration (in part) for a man named Francis Chan, who at one time was founding pastor and leader of a 6,000+ member mega-church, who one day realized it was all wrong and gave it up.

What was wrong? Consider this question and answer from Francis;

Cornerstone was a thriving church. Why did you resign from leading it?

We were just looking at scripture and seeing so many commands we weren’t obeying as a church. The church was really built around a speaking gift and a sermon, which is what a lot, maybe all, churches at that time were built around – and, you know, we would look at scripture and go: “Gosh, there should be so much more interaction.”

One of the questions that I asked was: “Am I part of the problem? Do people want to come and hear a sermon rather than use their spiritual gifts because I’ve trained them for that?” Why don’t I consider moving on to a more unreached place and starting something new that was reproducible, more like the underground Church in China? Something that didn’t depend so much on me but on the whole body of Christ.

Francis goes on (you can find his interviews on YouTube, Google, etc.) to describe that biblically, ALL members were to exercise a gift. The problem is, modern ‘church’  is focused around showing up and listening to one man exercise a gift and then going home, reaping the benefits but putting nothing in, and frankly, most churches/pastors don’t WANT you speaking up.

The blatant reality is that attending, and not attending, are equally valid, if you are grounded in faith in Christ, at exercising the gift’s he gave you in order to multiply and add to the Kingdom (create disciples).

“But do not be called Rabbi (Teacher); for One is your Teacher, and you are all [equally] brothers. Do not call anyone on earth[who guides you spiritually] your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven. 10 Do not let yourselves be called leaders or teachers; for One is your Leader (Teacher), the Christ. 11 But the greatest among you will be your servant. 12 Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be raised to honor.” ~ Matthew 23:8, AMP

What is also true is that one cannot truly fulfill the commandments of Christ as a silo, a solo warrior, off alone, never connecting, interacting and edifying with other believers.

“I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too are to love one another.” ~ John 13:34, AMP

So yes – one can be a Christian without attending ‘church,’ a building, with a program (accompanied by a desperate need for you to drop money in the offering plate). However, you may not be the best YOU, you can be in Christ, if you are not regularly, and purposefully, connecting, sharpening, learning, or teaching, with other believers of your faith.

For me personally, I have daily video calls with other friends and believers where we exhort and teach each other, encourage each other, and more. I have weekly meetings with people of faith, and I purposefully seek out ways to fulfill the commandment of Christ (love one another), but I do not regularly attend ‘Church.’ Am I a Christian?

That’s up to God.

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Not the Right Fit? Don’t Worry

Feeling like you don’t just fit in affects us all sometimes. Sometimes that feeling of not fitting in involves church activities. One size fits all isn’t usually a good solution, especially for things that involve ministries.

Take a look at 1 Corinthians 12, for example. We all have different gifts, but it is the same Spirit at work in all of them. I think there’s sometimes too much of an emphasis on certain supernatural gifts associated with the apostolic area that it’s easy to overlook other gifts and talents that are with the Church today.

Another passage that comes to mind is Job 39:13-28, where creatures are given different abilities according to their place in nature. Obviously, both wild and domestic animals fulfill different types of functions from humans. Yet, this is a beautiful example of how different parts of God’s creation are given different abilities according to who they are and what they do.

A blogger recently shared about not fitting in during some social settings at her church, although she thrived in settings where she visited with the sick or in Bible studies. She just felt that she couldn’t fit in with a social group where the only thing she had in common was that they were all women and attended the same congregation. I think many of us might relate to that.

In prayer, she realized that the social setting was for some other group members, but not for her, freeing her from feelings of not belonging. We who are members of Christ’s one Body do belong. It’s just that we might have different ways of expressing how we belong.

May we always continue to go in peace to love and serve God.

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