Blogs

Top August Posts

This is for those interested in seeing the top ten read blogs from August 2016. I didn’t start doing this until October, so I thought I would try and backtrack some.

The blog section of the spiritual abuse website had 6943 visits, with 3505 being unique. At present, most of the referrals have still come from Facebook, Twitter and search engines. If some who have similar blogs or websites would be so kind as to link to us, it would help increase our exposure. Also, sharing the blogs and/or commenting on them are also helpful and encourage the authors.

Below are the top ten read posts for the month (excluding giveaway posts). Thanks so much to all our readers and authors!

Tithing Food Stamp Money – author Lois.

Curse of the Cult – author Grace.

Making the Right Decision – author Mary.

Shame on You! -author Grace.

To my former church family – author Mary.

Faith, Hope, Love – author Nancy.

Leaving Church –  author Mary.

Spies – author Lois.

Choices – author Mary.

The End Was Only A New Beginning… – author John.

Christmas!!! Beyond The Doors

I was so happy to get to go to a real Christmas service last night. It was beautiful. I didn’t know anyone, and didn’t understand quite all the ceremonies (Advent wreaths would take quite a bit of explaining…) but just getting to go and enjoy the Christmas music was good. Sure, the music was contemporary and that surprised me. But they sang my favorite (Mary Did You Know) and a few others. It was just all around fun, and everyone was very friendly.

I have heard so often that we need to be a light and a witness to those in the world. In all the years I was in church after joining the workforce, though, I rarely had the opportunity to invite anyone to church. And with 15-20 hours of church a week, I certainly didn’t have time to do anything with people who should have been witnessed to. There just wasn’t time. Sure, I went door knocking. I handed out invitation cards. But is this really what being a witness means? When does it say Paul or Peter or Phillip gave them a church invitation and said, “our service is at 10:00 Sunday?”

The Apostles didn’t witness by passing out invitations or tracts. They didn’t door knock. They simply lived. Most of their preaching was done outdoors or one on one. They tried speaking in the synagogues, but they weren’t heard there. So they loved, they gave, they did for others. What better witness could a person have?

Jesus often reached out and touched the person he was healing. Maybe he was giving us a hint. A person must be witnessed to before God can heal their heart. To truly witness, we must reach out to the person. And to reach a person, we first must touch their life in some way. But to touch them, we must spend time among them. If we are too busy with church to help a sick neighbor or to spend time with a child, are we serving church or serving God? Will he say “well done, you’ve got perfect church attendance, you sang in the choir and cleaned the church regularly,” or “well done, thou good and faithful servant. As oft as you’ve done it to one of the least of these, my brethren, you’ve done it unto me?”

I was afraid to leave church for years partly because I would ask myself what in the world I would do if someone wanted God and I couldn’t take them to church. Yet in years of church attendance, I rarely brought anyone. How can you reach someone you’re too busy to meet, after all? Then too, I’ve often heard that we need to come to church to stay spiritual. I wonder… wouldn’t we actually be more like Jesus if we did what he would do?

Light Your World
Carry your candle
Run to the darkness
Seek out the hopeless, deceived and torn
Hold out your candle
For all to see it
Take your candle and go light your world

Top September Posts

This is for those interested in seeing the top ten read blogs from September 2016. I didn’t start doing this until October, so I thought I would try and backtrack some.

The blog section of the spiritual abuse website had 5066 visits, with 2317 being unique. At present, most of the referrals have still come from Facebook, Twitter and search engines. If some who have similar blogs or websites would be so kind as to link to us, it would help increase our exposure. Also, sharing the blogs and/or commenting on them are also helpful and encourage the authors.

Below are the top ten read posts for the month. Thanks so much to all our readers and authors!

She’s Got The Look (Of Salvation)  – author John.

Cultic Pseudo Personality – author ThereIsLife.

The Few, The Proud, The… – author Lois.

Religion or Christ? – author Nancy.

It Is The Pastors Who Must Give Account…Of Themselves! – author Lois.

#WhyILeft Fundamentalism, Part 3 – author Eleanor.

#WhyILeft Fundamentalism, Part 1 – author Eleanor.

Living for God should not be so hard – author RandomThoughts.

Leaving An Unhealthy Church #5: Don’t Listen To The Gossip – author Lois.

Leaving an Unhealthy Church #6: How You Are Treated – author Lois.

Looking For A Church Part 3

Continued from Looking For A Church Part 2.

I’m staying in a place like this!

I joined the church I’ve been attending today. I’ve been considering it for awhile now, but haven’t really mentioned that here because I wasn’t sure what the reaction would be. I wanted this to be my decision, and don’t want to hurt, confuse, or upset anyone else through it.

Still… if you’re looking for a church, be encouraged.

I’ve always liked this church but there were a few points I thought we were in disagreement on that I hesitated about. And, I’d been going to churches and looking for what was wrong with them rather than what was right.

After asking a number of questions, observing people’s interactions with each other and others, taking lots of notes and praying about it, I’ve decided this is where I need to be. It seems to be an amazingly healthy church.

After my last questions, the pastor gave me a book that outlines their beliefs. Opening the book, I assumed I’d find a lot of scripture to back all kinds of opinions and interpretations of scripture. I braced myself for a long boring read. 🙂 And was amazed. There is time given to their understanding of God, baptism, communion and so forth, but there is equal time given to discussions of loving and respecting one another, of accepting each others’ differences even while each expressing their opinions when they feel led, of the worth and value of every individual on earth and so forth. Reading their “doctrinal” explanations, I found that they explained their views well, but often on non-essentials printed two or even three or more viewpoints, giving equal attention to the pros and cons of each view and restating acceptance of people no matter which view they held.

I’ve watched these people interact with each other, and know they live what they say they believe. I’ve been surprised as they accepted me even though they might well guess (or know) where I came from and what my beliefs might be. Never once in all my questions did the pastor disagree with me or argue for an opinion. He would state some different views and encourage me to read certain passages when asked, but for him that was the end of his part in it–it was my decision, my choice what to believe. He never went back and asked if I’d read anything or if I’d come to any decisions. The choice was mine. The respect that shows amazed me. I’ve watched them interact with each other too, concerned for each other, loving each other, focused on others rather than themselves (in a positive way). For instance last night they had a pool party. No one went off into little whispering groups. No one was excluded, no one was the center of attention. Everyone had someone. I didn’t see anyone off to the side, alone, and I didn’t see any groups off to the side talking. No one complained!

So after thinking about it and praying about it and studying everything out, I read or skimmed most of the book, and was surprised to find that I agreed with many things in the book, even things I thought I was alone in believing. I’ve known for a week or more that I’d be here for awhile. But though they would have accepted me whether I joined or not, I wanted to make a commitment and a public statement of that. This morning I did.

LOL and then I realized I hadn’t “prayed about it” in the Pentecostal sense. 😮 Mild panic set in for a minute… then I realized that I HAD prayed about it. For weeks (and months and years, less specifically). I’ve been praying that God would show me where to go and give me peace about it, showing me what choices to make. He did. My prayers the last few days haven’t been “God, show me.” No… rather, they’ve been “God, thank you!” Not thanks that I found a church to call home, but thanks that finally things like His grace and love started making more sense, and that I was seeing those in action through the people I was worshiping with. So I’d prayed and He’d already answered.

Yes, there’s more to the story, but yes, my mind, heart and conscience are all in agreement. And I’m happy.

Looking For A Church Part 1

Leaving An Unhealthy Church #10: Sorting Through The Teachings

For those still trying to sort through the doctrines you were taught in an unhealthy church, here are some things to consider that should be helpful.

1) Keep the passage in its context. One can make it appear to seem like a passage is teaching something different when it is taken out of context or partially quoted. You need to read the surrounding verses, and sometimes chapters, and not just the proof-text given.

2) Beware of assigning a word an incorrect definition. Many in unhealthy churches assign words meanings which do not reflect their biblical meaning. If one doesn’t look further into this, they can be led to believe the Bible teaches something totally different than it does. Some words that readily come to mind from my old church organization are long, peculiar, shamefacedness and hallelujah (the latter probably only pertains to my former church). Nowadays it is very easy to look up the basics of the original Greek or Hebrew words used in the Bible. Your modern day dictionary is not what you should use.

3) Look at the overall picture. Discover what the ‘whole,’ or all, of the Bible teaches on a subject and not just a few passages. Unhealthy churches piece together passages to support some teachings. Yet if you study what the entire Bible says on the subject, you will find what they say really isn’t taught in scripture. You won’t find the doctrine being stated by the apostles or Jesus and you won’t find any examples of them doing (whatever) it is. Complete concordances are found in abundance to help you find every instance of a word in the Bible.

4) Interpret a difficult passage in light of those that are clearly understood. When one passage seems to not fit in with the rest of scripture on a subject, we need to interpret that passage in light of what is clear. The teachings aren’t going to contradict themselves. For instance, if there is one verse that on the surface could appear to say something is a matter of salvation, and yet that is never explicitly stated anywhere in the Bible, then you are probably understanding it incorrectly. It needs to be interpreted by the passages that are clearly understood.

5) Set aside preconceived ideas and take care to not read things into a text which are not stated. When we read the Bible, we should approach it in a way that God can speak to us through it. That’s hard to do if we are dead set in our minds that we know it all and that our interpretation must be 100% accurate. This is what causes many in Pentecostal churches, when they read in the Bible about the Holy Spirit, to automatically think ‘speaking in tongues‘ even if it is not in the text. Thus we read into scripture our thoughts or what we have heard taught in church and we aren’t going to learn that way. Don’t set about to prove what you believe is correct or to prove a doctrine to be false. Instead, approach your studies with wanting to know what the Bible teaches, regardless of what you think it does or doesn’t teach.

Leaving An Unhealthy Church #1: You and Those Who Remain
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #2: Anything You Say Can, And Will, Be Used Against You
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #3: Why It May Be Important To Resign Your Membership
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #4: Remaining in the Same Organization
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #5: Don’t Listen To The Gossip
Leaving an Unhealthy Church #6: How You Are Treated
Leaving an Unhealthy Church #7: It Happens To Ministers, Too
Leaving an Unhealthy Church #8: The Way Of The Transgressor Is Hard!
Leaving an Unhealthy Church #9: Some Must Return To Remember Why They Left
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #10: Sorting Through The Teachings
Leaving an Unhealthy Church #11: Confusion & Not Knowing Who or What to Believe
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #12: Can I Go To A Church Where I Don’t Agree With Everything?
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #13: A Warped View of God
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #14: Looking For A New Church Part 1
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #15: Looking For A New Church Part 2 (Leaving Your Comfort Zone)
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #16: Looking For A New Church Part 3 (Triggers)
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #17: Looking For A New Church Part 4 (Manifestations/Demonstrations)
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #18: Looking For A New Church Part 5 (Church Attendance: A Matter of Life or Death?)

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