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In October I posted a video of a made-for-TV movie based on the book, The Wave. In more recent years, it was made into a feature length film in Germany. It is based on an incident that happened in the 1960s in a school in California. People who have been in unhealthy churches should be able to relate and maybe learn something from it.

I was able to watch the re-make. They updated the story, having it take place in modern times and the ending was changed. The endings in each version are moving.

In doing some research afterward, though not in depth, I found that the made-for-TV version is closest to what actually happened. I also found that a documentary was put together about it, including interviews with some participants and the teacher. The name of that is Lesson Plan. In fact, the teacher has a bit part in the German remake and there is a brief interview with him in the bonus section.

As previously mentioned, the movies are based on an actual event from 1967 at a high school in California. It was a class experiment that got out of hand. It was the first year of teaching for Ron Jones, who three years later lost his fight for tenure (it appears to do with political activism).

There is a short story that Ron Jones wrote about the incident. See if you notice anything similar with what happens in unhealthy churches. I encourage you to watch either the 2008 film or the 1981 TV version that is found on YouTube.

Here is a quote from Ron Jones from the interview on the re-make DVD: “…you’re looking at ‘The Wave,’ trying to understand why do we give up our freedom for the thought of being better than everyone else. And it’s a lesson that we all need to see and hear and talk about.”

Another quote from the DVD, in speaking about one of the students crossing over an invisible line that was a simulation and became something real: “And I realized that I was crossing over that same line. I was no longer just teaching about this thing called fascism, I was enjoying- enjoying- being a leader and that was frightening.”

Some of the similarities from this incident and being in an unhealthy church are:

• Blind obedience to authority
• A gradual process of influence and indoctrination
• Rigid rules
• Conformity
• Peer pressure
• Giving up yourself to be part of something great
• Tattling on the disobedient

In further research on the incident, there are some who do not believe the events happened quite as Mr. Jones states. It is not my desire to get into all of that as it does appear that there was a class experiment. Regardless of what is accurate or not, the movies are thought provoking and a possible way to help people since the subject matter is not spiritual abuse, yet people caught up in unhealthy churches can relate to it. It is similar to having them watch The Village.

In the picture, the shepherd was following the sheep. The sheep weren’t in a line behind the shepherd. They weren’t clustered tightly around him. He was behind them as they went up the hill!

As I stood there I realized that if the shepherd is to protect his sheep, he must stay in the rear, in the background. If he doesn’t, a lion or bear will rush up behind the flock and take a straggler or a sheep might wander off. With the sheep in front, he can make sure they are safe. He can defend them if anything jumps out, and he can watch to make sure all are safe and well.

I’m not a big sheep person. I don’t know much about sheep or shepherding. But I do know pastors who want to compare themselves to the shepherd and their people to the sheep. And I know enough to know that the picture I saw today is probably a much more accurate depiction of how sheep should be “led” most of the time than any I’ve heard preached.

Sheep know where to go. The path is familiar to them. The shepherd is there to defend them and help them, but not to drag them along. A true shepherd won’t be in front where he gets their attention and just expects them to follow. He isn’t to the side beating them with his staff. He’s behind them, calling them if they wander, watching for dangers, and making sure they stay together. Their focus isn’t him. It’s the journey, the mountain top, the grass, the water. And he’s OK with that, because sheep focused on those things are healthy sheep.

Hmmm… a real shepherd is there to serve the sheep. They’re his focus, though he’s not theirs. Shepherding was lowly work in Bible times. Shepherds weren’t looked up to or thought of as great. Shepherding went to the youngest son. It was a lowly, lonely task.

I just found something interesting:

[Sheep] are very clever. Very sociable as well. If a dog finds something nice to eat it’ll scoff it before its mates arrive. If a sheep finds something to eat it’ll bleat to let the rest of the group know. http://www.bbc.co.uk/nottingham/content/articles/2007/12/18/agnes_kiemel_shepherd_feature.shtml

If anyone is troubled by descriptions of shepherd and sheep in former sermons, this site might be helpful: http://web.archive.org/web/20120705125740/http://shepherdshillfarm.home.mindspring.com/id6.html

It’s really really good.

Fascinating fact of the night for me: Sheep have very soft skin. When a sheep is being sheared, it’s difficult to tell the wool from the skin, the skin is so soft! (haha so much for my former pastor rebuking me for being “thin-skinned!” Without meaning to, he may just have been describing a sheep and being mad that I wasn’t thicker skinned like the goats! )

Ps 23 The Lord is my shepherd…

Mt 11:28-30 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

These are three YouTube videos done by a former Pentecostal in Australia. He is not a Christian and there were a couple things I didn’t like, but overall he did a nice job with these.

He also goes over some of the points made in the book, The Subtle Power Of Spiritual Abuse.

I know not all of us got to celebrate Christmas much in our former churches, but I was recently reminded of how we celebrated growing up… and of some of the sneaky things I did to celebrate even with the multitude of Christmas prohibitions in my former church.

Christmas is a very special time of year for me now… I left my former church just a couple weeks before Christmas two years ago and Christmas activities were the very first that I shared with Trinitarians that year. In participating with them, I regained more than a little hope.

Anyhow, some of my favorite memories:
We’d asked for ten speed bikes one year growing up, but my parents really didn’t have the money for them. (I don’t think I’ve ever had a brand new bike, to this day. But at that point, we’d had hand-me-downs, and the bike I was riding at the time had been Mom’s when she was my age.) Mom and Dad locked us out of the basement that year, and we tried and tried to sneak a peak at and eavesdrop on what might be happening there. Christmas morning, we got the bikes we wanted. Mom and Dad had found some bikes being thrown away, took them home, and spent days cleaning and repainting them and rebuilding the pieces into “new” shiny bikes for us. That was the best present I ever got, I think, but it wasn’t the bike that meant so much, it was the excitement and curiosity leading up to them, and the fact that they were built with so much love.

In Pentecost, we were advised strongly against Christmas trees. After I moved to a new church, we were told that nativities could be idols and that trees were absolutely pagan and had some very obscene roots. Christmas music, for the most part, was also “worldly”. The only Christmas song generally sung at church was the chorus of “Joy to the World.” Yet I nearly always snuck lights up around the house, set out Christmas cards, lit Christmas-y smelling candles and sometimes brought in some evergreens of some sort… just not a “Christmas tree” per se. (It’s only a tree if it’s upright with ornaments on it, right?) And later, I started decorating with snowmen, because less had been said against them and I could leave them out through February. As long as I didn’t have visitors in the snowmen rooms, at least.

Two years ago right before Christmas I left my former church. That year and every year now, December is filled with seasonal activities… live nativities, “Journey through Bethlehem.” Christmas songs at every church I visited, Christmas trees, wreaths, lights, parades, Christmas music and Christmas movies… Christmas means a whole lot to me, and the ancient words, “For unto us is born this day… a Savior” have taken on new beauty.

This year, again, I’ll celebrate. Celebrate the birth of our Savior 2000 years ago, and celebrate His rebirth in my life two years ago, as well. It’s a most wonderful time of the year!

We have given away books for years as part of the spiritualabuse.org ministry and this will be our eighth one via this new blog area. This is your chance to receive one or more free books on various issues.

The first people with a USA mailing address who respond will receive their choice of books at no charge to them. (Unfortunately, it is cost prohibitive to mail these books outside of the USA. Canadians with a USA mailing address are welcome to request books.) To respond, just leave a comment for this post. If you are unsure what any book is about, the links will take you to Amazon where you may read their description and reviews.

Up for grabs are several used books and DVDs.

1. One paperback copy of Brotherhood of Betrayal by Randall Arthur. TAKEN
2. One paperback copy of Changes That Heal by Henry Cloud. TAKEN
3. One paperback copy of Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. Has some highlighting.
4. One paperback copy of Love Is A Choice: Recovery for Codependent Relationships by Hemfelt, Minirth & Meier. Has some underlining. TAKEN
5. One hardback copy of How People Grow by Henry Cloud & John Townsend. It has a little highlighting. TAKEN
   
6. One paperback copy of Safe People by Henry Cloud & John Townsend. TAKEN
7. One hardback copy of Boundaries by Henry Cloud & John Townsend. Has a little highlighting. TAKEN
8. One hardback copy of Secret Ceremonies by Deborah Laake (Mormon). TAKEN
   
9. One hardback copy of End of the Spear by Steve Saint. (Missionary story) TAKEN
   
10. Two paperback copies of Angels Can Fall by Sandra Anderson. (First hand account of a Oneness Pentecostal church that became very unhealthy. One copy is autographed.) TAKEN
11. One paperback copy of Cults In Our Midst by Margaret Singer. Has highlighting and in a little rough condition.
12. One paperback copy of Tired of Trying To Measure Up by Jeff VanVonderen. Some underlining. TAKEN
    
13. Three paperback copies of Oneness Pentecostals & The Trinity by Gregory Boyd. One has some underlining. TAKEN
14. One paperback copy of The Shunning by Beverly Lewis. TAKEN
15. One paperback copy of The Co-Dependent Parent by Barbara Becnel.
16. One hardback copy of An Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words by W.E. Vine TAKEN
17. One hardback copy of What Good Is God?: In Search of Faith That Matters by Philip Yancey.  Some highlighting. TAKEN
18. One hardback copy of I Am Malala by Malala Yousafzai. TAKEN
19. One hardback copy of When God Becomes A Drug by Leo Booth. TAKEN
20. One paperback copy of Grace: An Invitation To A Way Of Life by multiple authors. TAKEN
21. One paperback copy of The Search For Freedom by Robert S. McGee.
22. One hardback copy & one paperback copy of Stolen Innocence by Elissa Wall. (polygamy) ONE TAKEN
23. One paperback copy of How Good Is Good Enough? by Andy Stanley. TAKEN
24. One hardback copy of Who’s Pushing Your Buttons: Handling the Difficult People in Your Life by John Townsend.
25. One DVD of Holy Bible KJV Complete by Alexander Scourby.
26. One CD MP3 NIV Audio New Testament Dramatized by Faith Comes By Hearing.
27. One DVD The Story of Two Kings (plus two on the Bible) by Day of Discovery. TAKEN
28. One paperback copy of New Testament Amplified Bible Pocket Thin.
29. One hardback copy of What’s So Amazing About Grace by Philip Yancey. TAKEN
30. One hardback copy of The AMG Concise Bible Commentary by Don Fleming. TAKEN
31. One hardback copy of The Church Awakening by Charles Swindoll.
32. Two hardback and one paperback copy of The Jesus I Never Knew by Philip Yancey. ONE TAKEN
33. One bonded leather copy of The NIV Study Bible by Zondervan. (The cover is in poor condition and there is some writing/underlining, but the inside is mostly good.)
34. One paperback copy of Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody.
35. One hardback copy of Does This Church Make Me Look Fat by Rhoda Janzen. (Mennonite related)
36. One paperback copy of Under The Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer. (Mormon related) TAKEN
37. One hardback copy of My Utmost for His Highest Daily Devotional Journal by Oswald Chambers. TAKEN
38. One paperback copy of Healing of Memories by David Seamands. TAKEN
39. One paperback copy of What The Bible Is All About by Henrietta C. Mears. TAKEN
40. One hardback and one paperback copy of Jesus Land: A Memoir by Julia Sheeres. ONE TAKEN
41. One paperback copy of The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. TAKEN
42. One hardback copy of The Year of Living Like Jesus by Ed Dobson.
43. One bonded leather copy of Nelson’s NJKV Bible with Concordance. (pocket size- cover is in poor condition)
44. One new DVD of Paradise Recovered. (spiritual abuse related) TAKEN
45. Three paperback copies of The Shack by Wm. Paul Young.

The first people with a USA mailing address who respond will receive their choice of book(s) at no charge to them. To respond, just leave a comment for this post. Please understand that comments require approval unless you have previously commented. So while it may look like you are first or second, etc. there may be someone ahead of you whose comment is pending. Be sure to use your actual email address when setting up to comment as I will be contacting you through it. Check your spam folder as email sometimes goes there. (For your privacy, do not put the email or address in your actual comment.)

Be sure to mention in your comment which book(s) you would like and you may refer to them by number. There is no limit on how many you may request, though you may only have one copy of any title.