Category: performance based | Page 6

Another Method Of Abuse

My parents’ church, growing up, was very small and wouldn’t try anything new. They never encouraged anything for anyone under 50 to my memory. We kids couldn’t sit past the third pew on either side because a deacon’s mom sat in the third row and NO ONE sat in front of her. We had one egg hunt when I was around 8 or 10, and VBS I think about the same time. Once. Dad asked about videos during class due to reading and hearing difficulties of some. It was not considered.

They were told that mowing the church and parsonage lawn, doing a significant amount of the church maintenance, supplying all Sunday School materials from their personal budget and resources (Mom created a lot of the material herself for awhile, because the church wasn’t purchasing anything that worked for a class with an age range like they gave her.) for free was not considered in any way part of a tithe, and were not allowed to participate in decisions within the church because they weren’t giving a full 10% of Dad’s paycheck. If they’d considered how much they were giving of themselves, it would have been much more than 10% I suspect.

These were not healthy things, any more than anything I experienced as an adult. There are many various ways that churches place unhealthy and unreasonable expectations on members.

More on “I got to have your money” Financial Greed

A couple years ago I sat one evening around a camp fire reminiscing with a young man (we’ll call him Ryan, not his real name) that I knew from the United Pentecostal Church that I had left almost 30 years ago.

I had worked in a factory job with Ryan’s Dad and served with his Dad in our church in ushering duties. I believe his Dad might have been the head usher. We’ll call him Bill (not his real name).

Bill was what the pastor called one of them chronic seekers. Rarely missed an altar call. Bill would be the last to leave the altar, walking away with defeat in his eyes. No matter how hard Bill prayed or long he prayed, no matter his hours of service given and no matter how much Bill gave financially, he could never seem to please God enough for God to save him. Bill lived under the condemnation of the “never good enough gospel” that so many struggle with in sick churches like this one.

Something happened in time with Bill. I feel some of it was brought on by living in such a state of mind that you constantly feared you were lost. Heading for a burning eternal hell.

I’d guess Bill was in his 50’s, healthy in his physical body. But his mind began to slip. He’d from time to time be admitted to a mental health institution.

Bill and wife had always been one of our churches most generous givers. I think in part Bill may have been trying to earn that holy ghost tongue talking experience that had alluded him for years, with giving way beyond our required tithes.

Sitting around that campfire that evening with Bill’s youngest son, Ryan, he shared with that one time his Dad had gotten some better and came home from the mental health hospital.

Bill had been laid off from his factory job. No money coming in. Car payment and house payment going out. Groceries to feed his wife and two boys were getting more difficult to pay for. Bill goes to see the pastor of our growing UPC church. Bill tells the pastor he wants to donate some money to the building of our new million dollar church. (This is in the mid 1970’s.)

The next day Bill’s wife, after having been told by her husband, of what he done, goes to the pastor. She asks why, why did you let him do this? You know he’s sick. You know he’s out of work. You know we have nothing left to live on. The cupboards are bare. WHY? Please give it back.

Now who reading this, could believe that FINANCIAL GREED could be so strong in someone. Someone that was supposed to be watching for the good of your soul.

Could you believe that he told her he couldn’t just give it back. He’d have to ask the board.

I told Bill’s son, Ryan, I was on the board at that time and this is the first I have ever heard of this. To my knowledge, the pastor never asked or told the board of this.

The money was never given back. THIS IS SPIRITUAL ABUSE.

Ryan doesn’t attend church anywhere regularly. I could understand if he hated God, preachers, churches and the people who fill the pews. But he doesn’t. I think he loves God. I think he’s come to realize the God that we were taught to FEAR (for lives and soul) was a false misrepresentation of God.

In the New Testament, as I understand it today, God requires one thing of you to be saved. He does not require works. He does not require a certain percentage of your finances. If you think he does, please just google ‘tithe‘ and read something and learn for yourself.

God’s only requirement for your salvation does not and can not come from you. What God required came from his Son. Jesus paid it in full. It is finished.

Just as Abraham believed, that is all we need to do. Read of Abraham in Romans 3 and 4. Read it with your mind open. This was NOT Paul telling only tongue talking believers how to Stay Saved as the UPC teaches. This was Paul REMINDING Christians HOW they GOT SAVED.

Reminding them just as he scolded the Ephesian believers. Believers who thought what they did or what they gave impressed God.

He reminded them how THEY GOT SAVED: Eph. 2: 4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.

Even the very faith that saves us is a gift from God. It is not our own.

Shalom. I thank God I am free at last.

More Than A Dash….

I attended a funeral and the speaker who was giving the eulogy spoke about life being just a dash between birth and death and what we did in that dash was our life. He continued to speak how this person, with a great servant’s heart, had made the dash of his life matter.

Long after I left the funeral I thought about that dash of life and a servant’s heart. I knew when I was a member of my United Pentecostal church, my heart was not of a servant…and my dash of life, well it was basically empty. I participated in the church and was involved but It seemed everything was so controlled and focused on the pastor and how to serve him and the church, that there wasn’t time left for anything else.

Oh I did my duty by working in children’s ministry, puppet ministry, ladies ministry, choir and drama ministry. Then there was cooking meals for visiting ministers and for fundraising, making and selling peanut brittle, along with the church cleaning, yard work and on and on.

I was a working mother of two but was expected to keep a spotless house because you never knew when the pastor would show up with his white glove, checking the top of your refrigerator for dust. If any was found you became Sunday morning’s sermon. It was always titled “Cleanliness is next to Godliness” Jude 2:2. Yes the scripture doesn’t exist but the burning hell bent sermon did.

Things changed a little when my ex-husband pastored a church. I didn’t have to worry about the white glove test anymore but my duties expanded to include administration, section ladies leadership, and anything else that needed doing. Plus I was still a working mother and trying to be a good mother to my children and attending all of their activities and seeing to their needs. Whew! Just thinking about it all still makes me tired!

I hardly had time for prayer and Bible reading but my heart hungered after his word so I would start my days at 6 am and end it with prayer and Bible study at 1-2 am. And it was during one of those 1 am Bible studies that I really read the words of Jesus and realized I wasn’t doing what he saw as important…..

“Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’ “Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You?

And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.” – ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭25:34-38, 40‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I sat there, so very tired and tears rolling down my cheeks and realized I was very busy with “church work” but was it Kingdom work? According to Jesus’ words I was not doing His work. My life was just a dash between two dates, nothing spectacular. With all the busyness, my heart remained empty of servant hood.

It wasn’t long after this that my husband abandoned ship….from God, the church and me. My life totally changed in a moments notice. I moved and found a job, went back to college to finish a degree in accounting and worked as a tax accountant for the next 14 years.

But I couldn’t get away from the words of Jesus and the dash of life and how I desired that servant’s heart. I so wanted my life to be more than just a dash. I wanted people to know I’m His child and a servant to others. I wanted to serve that glass of cold water and prepare food for the hungry, visit the sick and those in jail and to give a home to the homeless.

Then I found a very healthy church full of Jesus’ love and the teaching of having a servant’s heart has blessed me more than anything else. I have been blessed with a servant’s heart and now feel like my life is more than just a dash…that in some small way I can make a difference.

From doing all that cooking and sharing it at work I was able to share recipes and teach some of them how to cook. I didn’t realize I had touched so many until I retired last year and received phone calls and emails of how I helped so many. I know it wasn’t me but Jesus touching them through sharing a meal I prepared.

I have an older lady living with me now because she was homeless and living in her car. She goes to my church and none of us knew she was homeless. She had lost her husband and couldn’t afford their apartment anymore so she put her stuff in storage and her name on the list for senior housing. And slept in her car. When I found out what she was doing I brought her home with me. That was almost three years ago and she is still with me. She now has enough money to live on and she contributes to the household needs. It took so little to give a home to a homeless person.

I am not writing this for any praise, I’m just sharing how easy it was to add to my dash of life. When I was United Pentecostal…my heart was not of a servant…and my dash of life was so empty. But through Jesus’ love and the teachings from a healthy church…I have been blessed with a servant’s heart to serve people and to serve them anywhere.

My workplace, a soup kitchen, giving a book to an inmate in jail, an elderly woman grieving the loss of her husband …and home. It takes so little to make a difference and in some small way know that my dash between two dates will be more than just a dash.

Do Works, Work?

Do works, work? Like Johnny Cash singing that old song naming all the places he has gone “I’ve been everywhere man, I’ve been everywhere man…” When it comes to works – I’ve been there and done that man. The list goes on and on -bus ministry, visitation, door knocking, cooking meals to raise funds, newsletter, youth ministry and all that entails, and last but not least Sunday school teacher.

I put the most effort into being a Sunday school teacher. I loved the little children and I felt I could make a difference in their lives. There was one problem though – our Sunday school rooms were open concept and had huge walls with high ceilings. We were expected to decorate the walls with various depictions of study material, seasonal items, and such. As the new kid, I was always trying to “prove” myself to the “old guard.” I would work endlessly trying to fill (and I mean fill) these walls with eye catching, hand painted décor. I remember staying up all-night long, painting away at these larger than life creations to hang on the walls. I admit, I wanted recognition for my efforts but it wasn’t to be. Anytime Sunday school was mentioned, all the praise and glory went to the “Old Guard.”

Of course, these weren’t the “works” that were preached by my United Pentecostal Church that were necessary for purchasing our ever ready to flee salvation, that is a whole other list of all fleshly actions. The message was clear: if you were a spiritual Christian, you would be a human doing, not a human being.

What is wrong with all this working? Faith without works is dead, right? The problem with works based religion is that it doesn’t work. It only breeds competition, comparing ourselves to one another, conceit, envy, or in my case foolish pride that summed up my motivation for working to the point of burn out. Paul’s words to the Galatian church, who had left grace to be justified by the works of the law, told them they must be careful not to bite and devour each other or they might consume one another! On top of all this, it’s not why Jesus came! He came to set us free from the Law of Moses that was unable to save. (Romans 8:2-4) The idea of obtaining salvation based upon something that concerns a fleshly element – ability to dunk under water, your tongue, or someone else’s ability to say exact words over you takes all the power and glory away from God! He willingly sent His Son to die on the cross for our salvation and asks that we simply trust that it was enough to save us. (Romans 1:16) Anytime you add some kind of fleshly act (works) to this Gospel that has the power to save, you have turned it into another gospel. But wait, Paul says there is not another! (Galatians 1:6-8)

This is the big lie of the UPC or any other Bible/works based religion – think Jesus is swell, but not enough to save, add a list of do’s and don’ts, and throw a little Bible in there, yeah, just enough to prove your perverted gospel. To me, it is the greatest form of spiritual abuse. Keep them ignorant, exclusive, and judgmental. Make them believe, if they don’t keep our list, they’ll be lost.

Oh, and what about works? Where do works that genuinely prove our Faith in Christ alone come in? The apostle Paul in Ephesians 1:13 puts it like this “In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise.” When we put our faith in Jesus Christ alone apart from works, we are sealed with the Holy Spirit. God gives us new life on the inside, the Holy Spirit. As the seed of God’s word is planted in our heart, fruit begins to grow. This fruit, the fruit of the Spirit, the chief one being love begins to flow out of our heart to do the work that God prepared beforehand for us to do. A life motivated by love and controlled by truth works!

“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:8-10 NKJV

Calvary, Salvation and Us

I was taught that Jesus did his part on Calvary. Now it’s up to us. Up to us to do right, since baptism covers sin up to that point but we’ll still face judgment for any wrongs since baptism. Up to us to come to God, to ensure time with him, to be dedicated enough, to stay saved… that on the cross Jesus said ‘it is finished’ and so he had done all he could to save us. The rest was up to us. And yet we were told we couldn’t be good enough, couldn’t do it on our own.

I don’t know exactly what Jesus meant when he said it was finished, but I don’t believe he meant he was finished. Not with reaching out to us, drawing us, saving us. Not with helping us, walking with us, living through us.

We can’t live for him on our own. He knew that better than anyone. If everything past the cross is left to us, we won’t get very far. We were taught that salvation is a daily, hourly thing, but Christ was left out of the equation past Calvary. ‘It’s no longer I that live, but Christ living in me’ doesn’t sound like it’s ‘up to us’ or that all Jesus would do to save me was finished 2000 years ago. Perhaps the plan for salvation was finished, but not Jesus’ part in our salvation. That part is continual.