Category: legalism | Page 15 | Spiritual Abuse Blogs

Is Your Identity In Your Dress?

You can be known as a “jean skirt girl” – but why would you want your identity wrapped around what you wear? Or your long uncut hair? Or anything similar? As a Christian, shouldn’t we want our identity to be wrapped around Jesus Christ? And to be known by our love, one for another, as was the early church?

Do you not find it interesting that in the New Testament it is never mentioned that believers should be known by these things, nor were any believers ever picked out of the crowd due to their manner of dress or hair? Instead, it was the Pharisees who wanted to stand out among the people.

More Than A Dash….

I attended a funeral and the speaker who was giving the eulogy spoke about life being just a dash between birth and death and what we did in that dash was our life. He continued to speak how this person, with a great servant’s heart, had made the dash of his life matter.

Long after I left the funeral I thought about that dash of life and a servant’s heart. I knew when I was a member of my United Pentecostal church, my heart was not of a servant…and my dash of life, well it was basically empty. I participated in the church and was involved but It seemed everything was so controlled and focused on the pastor and how to serve him and the church, that there wasn’t time left for anything else.

Oh I did my duty by working in children’s ministry, puppet ministry, ladies ministry, choir and drama ministry. Then there was cooking meals for visiting ministers and for fundraising, making and selling peanut brittle, along with the church cleaning, yard work and on and on.

I was a working mother of two but was expected to keep a spotless house because you never knew when the pastor would show up with his white glove, checking the top of your refrigerator for dust. If any was found you became Sunday morning’s sermon. It was always titled “Cleanliness is next to Godliness” Jude 2:2. Yes the scripture doesn’t exist but the burning hell bent sermon did.

Things changed a little when my ex-husband pastored a church. I didn’t have to worry about the white glove test anymore but my duties expanded to include administration, section ladies leadership, and anything else that needed doing. Plus I was still a working mother and trying to be a good mother to my children and attending all of their activities and seeing to their needs. Whew! Just thinking about it all still makes me tired!

I hardly had time for prayer and Bible reading but my heart hungered after his word so I would start my days at 6 am and end it with prayer and Bible study at 1-2 am. And it was during one of those 1 am Bible studies that I really read the words of Jesus and realized I wasn’t doing what he saw as important…..

“Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’ “Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You?

And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.” – ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭25:34-38, 40‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I sat there, so very tired and tears rolling down my cheeks and realized I was very busy with “church work” but was it Kingdom work? According to Jesus’ words I was not doing His work. My life was just a dash between two dates, nothing spectacular. With all the busyness, my heart remained empty of servant hood.

It wasn’t long after this that my husband abandoned ship….from God, the church and me. My life totally changed in a moments notice. I moved and found a job, went back to college to finish a degree in accounting and worked as a tax accountant for the next 14 years.

But I couldn’t get away from the words of Jesus and the dash of life and how I desired that servant’s heart. I so wanted my life to be more than just a dash. I wanted people to know I’m His child and a servant to others. I wanted to serve that glass of cold water and prepare food for the hungry, visit the sick and those in jail and to give a home to the homeless.

Then I found a very healthy church full of Jesus’ love and the teaching of having a servant’s heart has blessed me more than anything else. I have been blessed with a servant’s heart and now feel like my life is more than just a dash…that in some small way I can make a difference.

From doing all that cooking and sharing it at work I was able to share recipes and teach some of them how to cook. I didn’t realize I had touched so many until I retired last year and received phone calls and emails of how I helped so many. I know it wasn’t me but Jesus touching them through sharing a meal I prepared.

I have an older lady living with me now because she was homeless and living in her car. She goes to my church and none of us knew she was homeless. She had lost her husband and couldn’t afford their apartment anymore so she put her stuff in storage and her name on the list for senior housing. And slept in her car. When I found out what she was doing I brought her home with me. That was almost three years ago and she is still with me. She now has enough money to live on and she contributes to the household needs. It took so little to give a home to a homeless person.

I am not writing this for any praise, I’m just sharing how easy it was to add to my dash of life. When I was United Pentecostal…my heart was not of a servant…and my dash of life was so empty. But through Jesus’ love and the teachings from a healthy church…I have been blessed with a servant’s heart to serve people and to serve them anywhere.

My workplace, a soup kitchen, giving a book to an inmate in jail, an elderly woman grieving the loss of her husband …and home. It takes so little to make a difference and in some small way know that my dash between two dates will be more than just a dash.

Dirty Words

Like words made of dirt, gravel, and twigs that need to be chewed up and spit out as quickly as possible or the taste would be too much to bear. There were these kinds of words spoken in my United Pentecostal Church. They are Bible words to be sure, but they just didn’t taste right with the message they were trying to get out. Words like Father, love, and grace. They didn’t understand them and in reality wanted nothing to do with them. But being a church that loosely relied on the Bible to preach their perverted gospel, they must be read or said from time to time. They were never expounded on and by the way they were said, you knew, they wished they weren’t in there.

Honestly, the more I read the things they say, it’s clear to see that there has been no growth for over twenty years. They still write about and speak the exact same half scriptures and clichés. Take the word Father, for example, I don’t think I ever heard of God referred to as our Father. There were no lessons given on the love the Father has for his children. It would have been dangerous to get too mushy when God was spoken about. After all, we must fear Him! If you call Him, Father, then you are hedging perilously close to Him having a Son and, well, if there are two, then…well, just don’t go there!

Love was a word mostly mentioned as something to be aimed at God or fellow standard-bearing churchmen. We don’t need much love around here – be tough, follow the rules – get people up to speed like us. I don’t believe love was ever spoken of as an action word; something you demonstrated so that all would know you were His disciples. That was taken care of by the way you dressed. Who needs love?

The word believe, –ptui! The personal Savior crowd was acknowledged with a slight giggle and indignation. How dare they think that’s enough, why even the devil believes and trembles! Look what it takes to be US – the true church. It’s just not that easy; where is the spittoon?

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound! We sang the song, all right, but we didn’t need a sweet sound; we had the mighty rushing wind. Grace is for those wretched souls who didn’t know the truth. No, no one could be saved by such a word as grace. Grace could mean that God lets you into heaven based on His merit and not your own. The way was much narrower and “few there be that find it.” In fact, even the words Jesus spoke to His disciples, when He was giving them the great commission, were avoided except to say “He didn’t really mean it that way.” It was code language that only they understood – everybody else could go to hell if they didn’t get it.

I always thought it strange that the musical performance group that frequented our church would sing a song using the words of the scripture, John 3:16. It just didn’t fit. I just didn’t get it…

For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not die but have eternal life. John 3:16 GNT

A Brand New Bible

A new Bible is like a fresh start. There are no markings, nothing is highlighted, you can read it with fresh eyes and study it with a brand new heart.

When I left the United Pentecostal Church, I purchased a brand new Bible in the New King James Version because that is what my new church teaches from and I was starting this spiritual walk all over and I didn’t want anything from the past to hinder me. I already had so many unanswered questions and I wanted to get things right this time.

I was “saved” in 1978 in a United Pentecostal Church and remained snarled and entangled with legalism until I left in 2011. I had read my King James Bible many times and I had scriptures highlighted and many comments from sermons, my prayer time and many, many questions that nobody wanted to give me answers for.

Thus, the brand new Bible.

One question that bothered me the most was always hearing the scripture, “Touch not my anointed, nor do my prophet no harm.” It seemed if I had a disagreement or a simple question, I would receive a shocked look from the pastor and was told I was never to question his teaching because he was anointed and of course the “touch not” was quoted.

Therefore, with new Bible in hand, I went to my first Bible study and the teacher was not offended at all by my question and we researched the answer as a group. It was so refreshing.

This is what we found…

In the Old Testament the children of Israel didn’t want to communicate or be judged by God, they wanted a King. God would choose the prophet that He used to speak to the people and would instruct the prophet who to anoint as King. As you read through the Old Testament some of the Kings were good and some were bad but they were God’s chosen and anointed one and God warned not to harm them or his prophets, I Chronicles 16:20-22.

But things changed in the New Testament. God robed himself in flesh and as Jesus the Christ walked and dwelt among man. The New Testament is all about Jesus being our King of Kings. No longer does God send prophets to anoint new kings because Jesus is the king of kings. There is no need for another. Jesus humbly read the holy scriptures in Nazareth proclaiming who he was, “The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed; To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD.” Then He closed the book, and gave it back to the attendant and sat down. And the eyes of all who were in the synagogue were fixed on Him. And He began to say to them, “Today this Scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.””
‭‭Luke‬ ‭4:18-21‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Jesus came to save the world, a holy sacrifice to be made once and for all sin to be forgiven and covered by his precious blood. Jesus didn’t come as a reigning King, he took the humble form of a servant. Which was confusing to the religious world at that time and is still confusing to some even now to be humble servants for him. Jesus taught love and not hate. He taught meekness and patience and mercy and grace. He did not judge anyone, but forgave their sins, he did not scare or condemn but love and through his humble spirit He showed a loving side of God that forgives our sin and hides it under the blood. Through Jesus, when we accept him as our Lord and Savior with a humble spirit, we receive grace and mercy instead of condemnation. We receive love instead of hate, we receive a Heavenly Father who adopts us into the body of Christ, we are no longer outcasts in a strange land but believers of the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

That’s what your brand new Bible can do for you…
A fresh start and a new walk with the Lord Jesus Christ who tells a whole different story than what we are used to.

May He richly bless you in your new adventure.

Do Works, Work?

Do works, work? Like Johnny Cash singing that old song naming all the places he has gone “I’ve been everywhere man, I’ve been everywhere man…” When it comes to works – I’ve been there and done that man. The list goes on and on -bus ministry, visitation, door knocking, cooking meals to raise funds, newsletter, youth ministry and all that entails, and last but not least Sunday school teacher.

I put the most effort into being a Sunday school teacher. I loved the little children and I felt I could make a difference in their lives. There was one problem though – our Sunday school rooms were open concept and had huge walls with high ceilings. We were expected to decorate the walls with various depictions of study material, seasonal items, and such. As the new kid, I was always trying to “prove” myself to the “old guard.” I would work endlessly trying to fill (and I mean fill) these walls with eye catching, hand painted décor. I remember staying up all-night long, painting away at these larger than life creations to hang on the walls. I admit, I wanted recognition for my efforts but it wasn’t to be. Anytime Sunday school was mentioned, all the praise and glory went to the “Old Guard.”

Of course, these weren’t the “works” that were preached by my United Pentecostal Church that were necessary for purchasing our ever ready to flee salvation, that is a whole other list of all fleshly actions. The message was clear: if you were a spiritual Christian, you would be a human doing, not a human being.

What is wrong with all this working? Faith without works is dead, right? The problem with works based religion is that it doesn’t work. It only breeds competition, comparing ourselves to one another, conceit, envy, or in my case foolish pride that summed up my motivation for working to the point of burn out. Paul’s words to the Galatian church, who had left grace to be justified by the works of the law, told them they must be careful not to bite and devour each other or they might consume one another! On top of all this, it’s not why Jesus came! He came to set us free from the Law of Moses that was unable to save. (Romans 8:2-4) The idea of obtaining salvation based upon something that concerns a fleshly element – ability to dunk under water, your tongue, or someone else’s ability to say exact words over you takes all the power and glory away from God! He willingly sent His Son to die on the cross for our salvation and asks that we simply trust that it was enough to save us. (Romans 1:16) Anytime you add some kind of fleshly act (works) to this Gospel that has the power to save, you have turned it into another gospel. But wait, Paul says there is not another! (Galatians 1:6-8)

This is the big lie of the UPC or any other Bible/works based religion – think Jesus is swell, but not enough to save, add a list of do’s and don’ts, and throw a little Bible in there, yeah, just enough to prove your perverted gospel. To me, it is the greatest form of spiritual abuse. Keep them ignorant, exclusive, and judgmental. Make them believe, if they don’t keep our list, they’ll be lost.

Oh, and what about works? Where do works that genuinely prove our Faith in Christ alone come in? The apostle Paul in Ephesians 1:13 puts it like this “In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise.” When we put our faith in Jesus Christ alone apart from works, we are sealed with the Holy Spirit. God gives us new life on the inside, the Holy Spirit. As the seed of God’s word is planted in our heart, fruit begins to grow. This fruit, the fruit of the Spirit, the chief one being love begins to flow out of our heart to do the work that God prepared beforehand for us to do. A life motivated by love and controlled by truth works!

“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:8-10 NKJV