Category: recovery | Page 15 | Spiritual Abuse Blogs

Are you taught to keep the Law of Moses (Legalism)

I have been absent for some time in my writing trying to sort out the real motivations and purposes behind this blog. There is an internal conversation that asks, should I continue focusing on legalism, cult-style control within religious organizations? Or should I turn the focus towards grace, and love, and freedom in Christ?

Then events take place that remind me, grace, love, and freedom in Christ, comes from the awakening the understanding that the yoke of legalism is ugly, destructive, and anti-Christ, and my resolve is rekindled.

Thus, I want to ask you the dual questions; Are you taught (or are you teaching) to keep the law of Moses?

Legalism. It is the way of a theocracy or dictatorship. Undoubtedly, if we believe Scripture, we believe His method in the latter Old Testament was just this, a theocracy, a system of strict rule that consisted of a Law Giver (Moses), a Judge (priesthood) and Executioner (zealots). In modern day religious structures that use the Law to demand obedience to ordinances, these three, the Law Giver, The Judge and the Executioner is known as Pastor.

And yet the author of all of this, God, blotted out the written ordinances of the Law, it’s demands, requirements and judgements, with the fulfilling of Scripture, in Christ on the Cross.

Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to his cross; – Colossians 2:14, KJV

I thank God that some time ago, through study, prayer, seeking and sometimes, just silence, I was able to come to the realization that modern day men who yoke congregants with the demands of the Law of Moses are NOT fulfilling the Law of Christ, and thus, I wanted no part with them.

Consider this illustration and the following Scriptural backing;

Act 15:5 But there rose up certain of the sect of the Pharisees which believed, saying, That it was needful to circumcise them, and to command them to keep the law of Moses.

Act 15:10 Now therefore why tempt ye God, to put a yoke upon the neck of the disciples, which neither our fathers nor we were able to bear? Act 15:11 But we believe that through the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ we shall be saved, even as they.

Act 15:24 Forasmuch as we have heard, that certain which went out from us have troubled you with words, subverting your souls, saying, Ye must be circumcised, and keep the law: to whom we gave no such commandment:

Act 15:28 For it seemed good to the Holy Ghost, and to us, to lay upon you no greater burden than these necessary things; Act 15:29 That ye abstain from meats offered to idols, and from blood, and from things strangled, and from fornication: from which if ye keep yourselves, ye shall do well. Fare ye well.

The law was a very heavy burden, it was a yoke, and as described in Acts 15, it was something that not even the current Church elders (who were Jewish) and their fathers (all of Judaism under the law) could really and truly bear. Furthermore, it was fulfilled in the Law of Christ, His sacrifice was the final atonement of the Law.

Then the question was asked, ‘Why do you tempt (displease) God, to place requirements upon His believers?’

Jesus, much earlier, in Matthew 23, made a bold proclamation to his Apostles about how they would go forth in creating disciples, or more importantly, how not to, and it bears much weight in this conversation.

Mat 23:2 Saying, The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat:

Mat 23:4 For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men’s shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers.

Mat 23:6 And love the uppermost rooms at feasts, and the chief seats in the synagogues, Mat 23:7 And greetings in the markets, and to be called of men, Rabbi, Rabbi. Mat 23:8 But be not ye called Rabbi: for one is your Master, even Christ; and all ye are brethren. Mat 23:9 And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven. Mat 23:10 Neither be ye called masters: for one is your Master, even Christ.

It seems strange to me, then, that modern day pastors would crave the Seat of Moses (Law Giver, Judge of the Law and Executioner), which is Authority, absolute authority. It is no surprise, that when you crave such authority, the Law is your backdrop and story.

Granted, the experiences of which I speak are related to Oneness Pentecostal churches, or the United Pentecostal Church International. But as I share my story, and hear from many others, it is not privy just to that denomination. This takes place on a grand scale.

For instance, some of the laws of which I speak are quite contrary to Christ’s teaching, and yet they exist in many religious circles, such as;

The pastor dictates what clothes men and women can wear
The pastor dictates if men can have facial hair, or either sex can wear jewelry
The pastor controls who/if you can date or marry
The pastor controls if/when you can come to church

This is a very, very brief list, and it encompasses so many aspects of congregants lives, such as what music you are allowed to hear, whether or not you can attend plays, dances, watch television, or movies, etc.

None of these tend to be supported in Scripture, unless you purchase the idea that the Pastor is God’s delegated authority (Moses) on the earth, and in him/her [pastor] is vested the authority to bind their own commandments as doctrines of the Church.

The only problem is, Jesus condemned this openly;

Mar 7:7 Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.

Often times, those religious dictators that would exercise authority and control over others, start with the backdrop of utilizing the Law of Moses as the vehicle of their control, but so often inject their own ideals, commandments and laws into the mix.

So what is the Law of Moses?

This is far too long a topic to address properly, but there is a very simple Scripture (it always does the best job!) that gives you the in a nutshell version;

Col 2:20 Wherefore if ye be dead with Christ from the rudiments of the world, why, as though living in the world, are ye subject to ordinances,
Col 2:21 (Touch not; taste not; handle not;
Col 2:22 Which all are to perish with the using;) after the commandments and doctrines of men?

Suffice it to say, that if you are being taught, or God forbid, you are teaching, that one must keep the rudiments, precepts, and ordinances of Old Testament Law, in order to obtain Grace, and to be Saved, it is anti-Christ.

Dress codes and standards, were Old Testament law. (Dresses only for women to be saved)

Tithing is old testament law. (Must give man 10%+ of all income to be saved)

Absolute authority in one human is old testament law. (Blind obedience to be saved)

Obedience to Christ is New Testament Law!

Gal 6:2 Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

Mar 12:29 Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God is one Lord,
Mar 12:30 and you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’
Mar 12:31 The second is this: ‘You must love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”

Thus, if ANYONE comes preaching any other Gospel (Law), let him be accursed! The only Gospel is Christ, and Him Crucified! The only Gospel is the Law (Love) of Christ and the redemption we have in Him, through the Cross.

Anyone that teaches ordinances and obedience (always obedience to the teacher of the law) in order to obtain Christ’s grace and mercy is a false teacher, and is harmful to your faith, your future, and yes, your family! I pray you go forth in the Law of Christ, and let no one steer you aside from His Commandments of Love.

1Jn 2:25 The message that the Son himself declared to us is eternal life.
1Jn 2:26 I have written to you about those who are trying to deceive you.
1Jn 2:27 The anointing you received from God abides in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you this. Instead, because God’s anointing teaches you about everything and is true and not a lie, abide in him, as he taught you to do.

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What happened to Abiding in Christ? The Legalists Reformation

There are many plain messages in Scripture that reflect the attitude we are to have towards God, but one that is a foreign to an ex or current legalist, above all, is abiding in Christ. The Apostle John told us “But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you:”

John goes on to say, “and even as it [the anointing] hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.” You shall abide in Him, Christ! Not man, not works, not ritual and tradition, but Him!

So, minor confession. If you haven’t figured this out yet, much of my writing, and my purpose is to come against spiritual abuse, legalism, and cults, because they scar the soul every bit as much as sin does. I myself was a judgmental, legalist, a Oneness Pentecostal for fifteen years fully believing I had the only truth you lacked, before the realization that I was bowing down to man and not God. I lost the joy of my salvation, and I had replaced Jesus with my pastor.

I had deified man, and I worshiped man. I counted it the highlight of my church experience to sit near my pastor, or to gain his approval. I never thought ‘what if Jesus knew what I just did…’, it was always, ‘What if pastor knew about what I just did…’

But, like every cult, and every spiritually abusive, legalistic structure, the initial focus was Jesus Christ as a front for the true purpose of the system. His name is used to promote the system, but in the end, your obedience was to the man at the top, and that obedience was tantamount to salvation. We abided in our structure, and works, in our holiness (dress standards), in our obedience to a man (fervent and unwavering obedience they openly demanded), etc.

So what happened to Abiding in Christ?

Joh 15:1 I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.
Joh 15:2 Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.
Joh 15:3 Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.
Joh 15:4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.

My largest argument with legalistic systems is that they remove the connection between God, His Son Jesus Christ and the commune of the Holy Spirit, and they (men who command control over others) replace it with with obedience to themselves, which is becoming a priest of the Old Testament in New Testament Shepherd’s Clothes.

Remember, that when Christ died, part of the ending of the Law and Old Testament structure was that the veil of the temple was rent in two. In other words, the separation between Man and God (the Holy of Holies) was removed. In olden days, only the Priest could enter into God’s presence and intervene on man’s behalf. With the death, burial and resurrection (Gospel) of Jesus Christ, we now have direct communion with God!

As for you, the anointing you received from him[Christ] remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his[Christ’] anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit—just as it has taught you, remain in him. – 1 John 2:27, AMP

Modern legalists are the roadblock that stands between the Saint and God. We, as seekers of truth always seek out a teacher of Truth, and he stands before us, blocking the view of God. The problem is we accept flawed man, who says anything he wants in the name of Christ, as the teacher of Truth instead of the true vine Jesus Christ!

As a matter of example, my previous church/cult just celebrated 41 years in business, but in all that time, they have not sent forth a single preacher, evangelist, missionary, or sent sums of money to charitable organizations feeding the hungry.

Yes, I said business. It’s a for profit business. Pay your tithes, pray, obey and stay in the words of one of my favorite commentators. What is the significance?

You cannot abide in Christ, you abide in the Pastor. I was absolutely called by Christ to preach his Gospel. The four days of sleepless dreams, quickening and inspiration was nothing but a touch of God. I knew it, I prayed it, cried it, talked it to my wife, claimed my worthlessness before God, experienced excitement and dread and everything in between. When I told my Pastor?

If it was real (the calling) God would have told ME.

Thus ends abiding in Christ. How many Scriptures can we find defining that His calling, His Word, and His Spirit would come to us directly? Too many to list here.

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5

Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God; Let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground. – Psalm 143:10

“But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come. – John 16:13

But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law. – Galatians 5:18

Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path. – Psalm 119:105

One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind. – Romans 14:5

You must abide in Christ alone!

The word abide according to modern dictionaries means to accept or act in accordance with. Or, in this sense, to live your live in faith to Christ!

In the Greek dictionary, the word has a similar and strong suggestion;

men’-o
A primary verb; to stay (in a given place, state, relation or expectancy): – abide, continue, dwell, endure, be present, remain, stand, tarry (for), X thine own.

To abide in Christ is to stay in Christ. Remain in Him, hold fast to Faith, believing Him and His Word. Not other men, (not even me!) or their standards, traditions or teachings. We must have Faith in Christ alone, for He alone is savior!

So abide in Christ, friends and brethren. Do not abide in the false religion of man but the truth of God!

To see more of my original work, please visit here.

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Reading the Bible after it was used to control and abuse you

I’ve been out of the Bible-based high-control group for 5 years, but still can’t read the Bible. Other than random verses I see online daily. I talk (mutter) to God daily, and think about Him a lot throughout each day, and desire intimacy with Him, and worship Him daily, and want nothing more than to experience more of His love and presence. But I am paralyzed when it comes to His Word.

To a Christian who hasn’t been severely spiritually abused this might sound crazy and garner the “well, you can’t be a real Christian then” response. But to someone who has been through something similar to what I have, they will probably understand that the Bible can trigger our PTSD. The Bible was misinterpreted, and used as a weapon. Used to make us miserable. Used to create deep fear, shame, guilt. Scriptures forced down our throat daily. Not to mention that the only translation we were allowed to read was the version translated by the sect founder! (Alarm bells ringing.)

The Bible was used to create such deep pain that I was depressed from age 7. Scriptures were taken out of context constantly. We couldn’t socialize with anyone “outside” the sect because of some obscure passage in Timothy. We couldn’t wear pants because of some Old Testament scripture where the verse next to it talks about not wearing clothing of mixed fibers. (I remember telling my Dad, post-sect, that I would remove my jeans – and change into a skirt – before leaving the house if he would remove his sweater of mixed fibers!)

I know that the Bible is a love letter from God to His earthly creation (I have done a lot of research on its legitimacy). But my body and mind still react in fear when I see all-too-familiar verses. After I had been “out” for about 3 years I was determined to read the Bible like a good little girl and so I printed the Bible out on A4 pages so that I would not be triggered as much because it wouldn’t look like a bound book. I still went into cognitive-mode (as opposed to heart-mode) and numbness. And I read it like a text book, with no feeling. I was still in have-to mode.

Very recently I decided to listen to the audio Bible so that I wouldn’t be triggered by reading. This was my second attempt at overcoming my fears, indifference, and disinterest. It was better than the first attempt. I felt like my heart was engaged and I was actually interested in the scriptures for the first time. However, I listened to the audio Bible once, then not again for the last 4 weeks. So, there is still a blockage.

I have asked God to remove the blockage. That the scriptures will be brand new to me, as if I have never seen them before. I am actually jealous of atheists, Muslims, etc who convert to Christianity and read the Bible for the first time. I’d love for the Bible to have no trauma associated with it. No baggage. No fear. The audio Bble I listened to was The Message translation. I chose that translation because I wanted the scriptures to sound very different from what I was used to so that they wouldn’t trigger PTSD. It helped a lot. Most of the verses sounded very different from the translation I was raised with (which was similar to KJV).

It’s still a journey to disconnect from the past. Our body and mind remembers. I have a measure of peace that God understands (although I do have the odd day where I think I’m not saved because I have indifference towards the Bible. My scrupulosity kicks in.) I crave connection with Him. And I am angry that the Bible has been damaged for me. It will pass as more healing comes. God works healing miracles every day.

I tend to stay away from Christian circles because I feel guilty – the vast majority of Christians don’t understand my predicament and look in horror if I mention that I don’t want to read the Bible. It’s too difficult to explain. I rest in the fact that true love comes from overflow, not obligation. The Father wants children, not slaves.

(This was difficult to write, and to post, because I am ashamed and feel that I will be judged. Especially as most ex-cultists seem to have no problem reading the Bible. But hopefully this helps someone know that they are not alone.)

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Struggles with faith and doubt

When I first left my former church, I thought I wouldn’t struggle with doubts or faith. I never thought I’d come to a point of wondering whether God was real or cared about me. I was wrong, and here are some reasons why:

When I left, I hid some of my feelings, my doubts and fears. I was busy proving to myself that I was still a Christian, and I was very good at it for awhile. The problem with that is that I could only maintain the facade for a time, not forever. Eventually the fears, doubts, and questions came out, and because I’d hidden them from myself for so long (well before I left), they kind of came out in a big jumbled mess, making them perhaps more difficult to deal with.
When I left, I kept thinking that I would get answers, find resolution, be healed, and see new success. None of that happened, and since people had promised God would do these for me or promised these to me, I blamed God when they didn’t happen. I became disillusioned… and that disillusionment hit around the same time as the facade fell.
After leaving, I was told too often by both myself and others to just get over it, to move on… to BE as though nothing had happened that changed my life, my thoughts, my beliefs. Walking out of that church had the effect on me that dropping a bomb on a small town might have to the survivors–I lost friends; family dynamics changed; the culture, beliefs, and perspectives that shaped a good deal of my life were suddenly in tatters; the place I’d considered safest was now seen as most dangerous–the world was turned on it’s head. “Get over it” and “move on” are absolutely ridiculous expectations in such cases, no matter how much we want to do just that.
I suffered from ‘shell shock’–I’d hear similar things to what I’d come to recognize as danger and ‘duck for cover’ so to speak. Most people did not recognize the signs of this and didn’t want to help or admit that this might be a problem… it was perhaps as difficult for them as it was for me to admit that someone could get PTSD from a church. And they and I both thought that exposure to a similar but more positive environment would ‘fix’ the problem. It didn’t.

Unreasonable expectations are behind all of these. It wasn’t until I stopped expecting things to go a certain way that I started regaining real hope. And yes, you read that right. I actually find myself having more hope since I stopped having these expectations. Not hope that everything will be OK, not hope that things will be ‘fixed’… this is a different kind of hope, or maybe more of a peace, than Christians I’ve known seem to talk about. Maybe more of an acceptance. This is what happened. This is what is. And though I have no idea what will be, I can be OK with that. And I think God is, too.

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Does God crush you like a rose to make perfume?

Someone wrote to me recently about songs that ask God to “crush me,” “wreck me,” and “consume me,” saying,

If God can abuse his bride, yet tell her that it is for her good, of course a husband can do that to his. And both blame her for not trusting.

This reminded me of the popular teaching that just as the sweetest perfume comes out of crushed roses, God wants to crush us like a rose so He can make perfume like that. (<– Several links there.)

As if somehow our lives would become more pleasing to God if He crushed us.

And apparently, from the songs she was referencing, that’s a pretty popular notion.

Read the full untangling of this teaching at Here’s the Joy . . .

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