Category: faith | Page 5 | Spiritual Abuse Blogs

Let Me Off The Roller Coaster!

Roller coasters- innumerable people love taking rides on all types of roller coasters. There’s the smaller and more mild ones for the young and those starting out. Then there are enormous ones with all manner of twists and loops that test how well you can hold down your food.

There is another roller coaster ride that isn’t fun but is frustrating and never ending: It is the performance trap roller coaster found in unhealthy churches. When you board this ride, they don’t let you off and it takes away your joy.

When people attempt to earn their righteousness or somehow earn favor or acceptance with God through their actions, they will always struggle. That is because it simply cannot be done. We either accept by faith the righteousness God gives us or we attempt to earn it ourselves. Since we are imperfect people and we often mess up and fall short, we will never feel complete and lasting peace attempting to follow God in this manner. Worse yet, our efforts are in vain as we cannot make ourselves righteous.

When you fail, you feel bad and wonder if perhaps God will reject or think less of you. Then maybe you have a good day or service and feel better. All too soon the down side comes again as you don’t live up to the performance expected. It’s a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. Many often wonder if they will even make it to heaven.

This is not what a Christian life is supposed to be like. Our salvation is not based upon our performance, but upon the completed work of Jesus on Calvary. He paid the full price for all our sins and mess ups. There is nothing we can do to achieve what He already accomplished. And there is nothing you can do to cause God to love you or love you more. He already loves you. He expressed that love when Jesus paid the price you owed for your sins. Yes, even before you were born, He saw ahead and loved you.

There is hope outside of the performance trap roller coaster ride. There is life- more abundant life in Christ!

God’s flying this boat

This is something I wrote several years ago…

God’s flying this boat! And if He wants to fly a boat, he can. What happens in our lives doesn’t always make much sense, if any. Or at least, not in my experience. But if and when you find yourself at this point, remember Who is in control. And if you wake up one morning to find your boat flying or your life seemingly upside down, well, it’s really too late to tell Jesus that boats don’t fly.

It scares us to death when things like that happen. But when it happens to you, what will you do? It’s not unrealistic to be afraid. And it isn’t nonreligious to be afraid. It is rather un-Christlike. But given the fact that you’re probably human, and given the fact that humans find certain Christlike things very disconcerting at times, what will you do?

You will find yourself in topsy-turvy times sooner or later. Jesus seemed to enjoy putting the disciples through things like that. (Sometimes I wonder if it isn’t still a favorite pastime of his…) I’m thinking of 12 disciples in a boat in the middle of the night. There’s a bit of a storm, and they’re rowing hard. All of a sudden, they see someone walking toward their boat. Normally, no problem. But they aren’t on shore. They’re in the middle of the Sea!

“And they cried out, and were sore afraid.” They were human. And they were scared. But Jesus said “It is I, be not afraid.” And they all said, “Whew!” “You had us going a minute there, Jesus!” “Ha, funny trick!”

Nope. They kept shaking. They were still scared. But brash Peter said, “OK, if it’s you, bid me come out to you.”

And Jesus said, “Come.” Peter walked to Him on the water. Was Peter unafraid? No. He was scared when he saw the wind and waves- he began to sink. He had just forgotten to be afraid for a minute, in his eagerness to get closer to Jesus.

And when Peter did become afraid and sink, did Jesus say, “You got yourself into this fix, now get yourself out”? Did He stand by and laugh? No. He reached out to Peter. He took Him by the hand. And immediately they were in the boat. No ropes thrown to them. No climbing in. They were just there. But suddenly it didn’t matter that it wasn’t a normal entrance. It just mattered that Jesus was on board.

New Thoughts/Old Thoughts

Well, I feel like I’m catching up and “normalizing” some!

Over the last month, and especially in the last week or two, I’ve learned a lot. I’ve found that there are a lot of people that don’t have all the answers, don’t pretend to, and don’t feel they have to.
I’ve met people whose peace doesn’t come from knowing they are perfect, but knowing they don’t need to be.
My goal has become not praying a certain amount of time or doing certain activities or keeping to a certain schedule, but just enjoying everything that is set before me to do.
My friends can now be chosen not based on an itemized list of do’s and don’ts, but on their character.
Fear and worry no longer capitalize my time. Stress no longer wears me down. I’m finally able to breathe! More than that, I’m finally able to live!

Everyone is different. I had questions for years, and mentally began leaving long before I physically walked out. But this is a beautiful place to be. I haven’t left God- I’ve finally found Him. I haven’t backslid– I’m moving forward. Apparently the pastor has made comments about me, marked, labeled, condemned me now. And it doesn’t matter, because he’s wrong, and there is no sin in saying that.

Wow. I guess this is kind of like how a climber feels after a difficult climb- finally reaching the summit. When we were kids, someone would try to get away, and the group would grab them and be pulling them back. When I’d break free, I’d race forward- it was almost like flying. That’s how it feels. Or that minute right after take off- feeling the ground rough beneath the plane and suddenly realizing you’re airborne.

I’ve talked to enough people now that I realize that no one has all the answers. It isn’t that there isn’t “The Truth,” but that the truth is much simpler than all the exegetical, theological debates would like to make it. The people who seem happiest and most satisfied in their faith seem to be those that don’t wrestle with it, who don’t think perfection is the answer. We’re human. None of us is perfect. It’s God’s grace, His sacrifice, His love that are important, not our efforts.

Should we do our best for him? Sure. But nothing we can do will ever equal what He already did for us. Should we seek to know Him more? Of course, but not through great theological debates and discourses. He has all knowledge, so what are our puny thoughts? There is no way we can explain Him, no way we can contain Him with our words, no matter how great and swelling we think they may be. We’re really so little in comparison to the God that made the universe. And yet He gives us an opportunity to know Him. Not know Him scientifically or theologically. He invites us to know Him on a much different level. Personally.

Rich Mullins’ influence, I guess. He had a much different perspective… and there were lots of people that didn’t appreciate it. I can appreciate it, and it’s kind of anchored me a little better, remembering all I used to believe and how rich my faith really was even before I set foot in a Pentecostal church.

Informational post on speaking in tongues #9

This is just a little informational post on the subject of speaking in tongues, shared as some food for thought. This addresses the doctrine of ‘initial evidence’ as taught by the United Pentecostal Church.

If speaking in tongues is the initial evidence of receiving the Spirit (I am speaking of Oneness Pentecostal teachings here), then why do so many also expect continued evidence after one initially speaks in tongues? (Note: I know that all Apostolics do not practice or believe the above in regard to the necessity of ongoing tongues.)

As mentioned in a prior post, we never see again that those who spoke in tongues in Acts 2, 10 & 19 ever did it a second time. And yet many proponents of this teaching not only expect to see this happen initially, but also expect to see its regular continued use.

How many have been told to ‘pray through’ after doing something wrong or seemingly wrong or if you left their church for awhile? To these people, ‘pray through’ means to pray until tongues come again. They want proof that God’s Spirit is yet inside you. Maybe you need it yourself, too. There is no faith at all in this, proof is demanded. It is as if some believe God’s Spirit regularly hops in and out of believers.

Not only is there the thought to ‘pray through’ to tongues, there can also be things said from the pulpit like, “If you haven’t spoken in tongues in the past week (month, etc.), you had better check yourself!” Why? Where is faith? Do believers lose God so easily? Is God’s Spirit so fickle that at the slightest wrong, He up and leaves?

Things like these and more mean that the teaching is not simply initial evidence. It is really initial AND ongoing evidence to them. They have a need for a sign that they, and others, are still okay with God. This is not walking by faith or standing on God’s promise to never leave, nor forsake, believers.

Think about it. If tongues are indeed ‘initial evidence,’ why then is there such a push for the necessity of continuing to speak in tongues, especially when it is never found in scripture? When did you ever read Paul pressing believers to ‘pray through’ again till they spoke in tongues? When did Peter ever teach that if you haven’t spoken in tongues in a month that you’d better find out what is wrong? These doctrines are not taught, or seen as examples, in the Bible.

So, I say tell it like it really is. They don’t mean just initial evidence—they really mean initial AND ongoing evidence throughout your entire walk with God.

Stay in the boat?

Stay in the boat. Stay in the ark. Only those on the ark were saved, after all. I heard this preached for years as a way to tell people to stay in the church. For almost as many years I have had one question come to mind… didn’t Noah get off the ark at some point?

Of course Noah got off the ark. The ark was a place of safety and deliverance for a time. But when dry ground reappeared after the flood, I’m fairly certain that there had never been people more grateful to leave a ship than Noah and his family were. So why are so many people taught today to never leave the boat?

Another man left a boat one day- in a storm and still on the water. Peter often proved that he didn’t tend to think ahead, maybe especially where Jesus was concerned. So, sailing on a dark night, in the midst of a stormy sea, Peter saw Jesus walking on the water and said, “Lord if it’s you, bid me come.”

Ridiculous! Peter had fished that sea all his life. He knew the water. And he knew that getting out of a boat in the middle of the sea, in the middle of the night, in the middle of a storm was, well… less than intelligent. But Jesus said come, and he went. Right over the side of the boat. And he walked. Sure, he saw the wind and waves and sunk. But Jesus was there. He took Peter by the hand and got him back in the boat. How did he get there? He most probably walked.

The thing is, Peter left the boat at Jesus’ bidding. And in the middle of the night, in the middle of a storm, in the middle of the sea, Peter didn’t drown, and he didn’t lose Jesus. And the story was written down, and has been preached on a lot. But to walk out to Jesus, Peter left the boat!

There are times in some of our lives when its good to leave the boat. Noah and his family, with all those animals, would have been in a very unhealthy situation had they refused to leave their boat. After God had delivered them by the ark, they could have refused to leave, and their deliverance would have become their prison, and eventually their tomb. All because they were afraid to leave the boat.

Peter would have been saner had he stayed on the boat. But Peter stepped out by faith, and he walked with Jesus on the water. Not for long, but Jesus bid him come, he went, and he walked. I’ve always felt that Jesus loved that impetuousness in Peter. Peter was rough, he didn’t often plan ahead, but he trusted Jesus. He had a fascinating amount of raw faith that later made him a great witness and leader in the church. Peter didn’t have to leave the boat, but he stepped out by faith, and he didn’t suffer for leaving it that night.

Some people love the water. They spend their lives by the water, earn their living in the water… others get seasick. A ship is not a safe haven for everyone. Is church? What if it’s unhealthy to stay on the ship? What if Jesus bids you step out of the boat?

So why do we hear that we have to stay in the “boat,” the church, all our lives? Name one person in history that spent their entire life on a boat! It’s a good thought, and I know that the message involves faithfulness and dedication. But dedication and faithfulness to God, or the church? Can we be faithful to God without being dedicated to church? I think the answer is yes. Christians have done that through centuries of persecution. The Jews didn’t often go to Tabernacle in many times in history, due to distances, financial constraints… and even due to corrupt priests (Eli’s sons, for instance).

The first time my faith was severely shaken, I was permanently expelled from a church (by phone) because someone believed a lie. Someone who, it appeared, was possibly at fault themselves. I didn’t even know someone could be expelled from a church, and never dreamed that I would be. The following months were some of the lowest of my life, and sometime early into that time, as I prayed, I told God: God, I’m at the end of my rope. And I’m tying a knot in the end and hanging on with both hands, my feet, and my teeth. If I fall, catch me… and please stick my teeth back in my mouth, because they’ll still be stuck in that rope!

I’ve fallen off that rope several times through the years. God has always caught me, and I still have all my teeth! I’m not sure why I even insist on having a rope to be at the end of, or an ark for safety. God is my strength and my refuge. He’s an ever present help in times of trouble. Will I stay in the boat, or step out of the boat?

It’s time to step out.