Category: Oneness Pentecostal | Page 25

Can a Pastor Offer Destructive Advice?

In my years of being in abusive churches, I was led to trust the input and advice of the “Man of God.” Any major life decision – be it college, getting married, or professional – we were to go to the pastor for counsel.

I spent most of my military career in Norfolk, Virginia. Norfolk was and still is a major Navy town, brimming with active duty and veterans. On several occasions when I was up for transfer orders, I did what any faithful member would do. I went to the pastor for counsel and direction. At this particular time, I had 11 years in the Navy and a chief at my command suggested I apply for a commissioning program. The pastor had a different recommendation: NO.

Why? He felt at that time if I pursued a commission that I would be more involved with command duties and less time with “the ministry.” Eventually he eased up his position on members joining the officer ranks, but I wonder if it was because officers could stay in the military longer plus make more money. This came too late for me, though.

I took the pastor’s advice over that of the chief. End result: I retired from the Navy after 20 years, but my advancement in rank stalled at E-6. While I am proud of my service, I can’t help but wonder if my career would have gone further had I listened to the chief.

The lesson I learned from this was that pastors may mean well, but they aren’t the subject matter experts in every aspect of a person’s life. This left me wondering what might have been professionally.

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Aggressive, Militant Christians

Some time ago, during my online scouring of information about particular religious denominations, I stumbled across a video on YouTube labeled “Why are Oneness Pentecostals often nasty, proud & aggressive?” (The video has since been made private.) Lately, I’ve thought about this question a lot. And not in criticism but in an attempt to understand the mentality I have rejected, after being ‘that’ for 15 years. In that 15 years, I never purchased this idea of militant recruiting and aggressive methods.

By way of example, I have been labeled by people in the church I left as a ‘Godless Alcoholic’ (yes I have a few drinks sometimes). What was my best friend no longer speaks to me, because I exposed his Pastor lying on the stand of a Court of Law, looking at the actual court depositions. The right-hand #2 man in the church literally ignored my presence just last week, standing 5′ from me when I tried to speak to him, and the ‘bishop’ ignored me completely in front of a mutual acquaintance, even when I, trying to be friendly, waved and said hello.

So how does this mentality become justified? How does someone decide, that as for those who disagree or choose not to be like us, they are not worthy of their attention or friendliness? Is having a different way of thinking or a different way of worship worthy of shunning and disfellowship? When do you feel approved of by Jesus, to adopt the hateful attitude, ‘I’m not even going to try to be nice to anyone involved in talking about Scripture?’

Perhaps, it is true that I am vocal in my arguments against the legalism practiced by some churches and for that, I am a threat and an aggressor. So I’ve taken myself out of the equation – rather, I’ve considered the stories, history, and accounts of others who have had the same treatment due only to deciding ‘not to attend’ this particular church system.

And yet I feel compelled to mention, that these types of religious systems (such as Oneness Pentecostals) often practice a dogma known as Sacerdotalism, which expresses that God will only work through the local pastor/bishop. You cannot be saved without that pastor. You can’t choose another pastor without the original pastor’s permission, which locks your salvation into a single living man. If God wants you to do something, only the pastor can approve of it. This removes Christ from the people (reversion to Law) and puts back the rent veil of the temple and re-establishing the Priesthood.

This is heavily influenced by the Roman Catholic dogma whereby they name the Pope the Vicar of Christ and believe that he, being the representative of Christ, has all authority to create church doctrine and dogma.

This is NOT an attack on Christians!

Phew – had to get that out of the way – I’m talking about sects of Christianity that feel it their mission to only love other people so long as they accept their way of thinking, and to gossip about, ignore and judge any who do not.

I’m talking about those ‘Christians‘ that make it their goal to troll others online in social media. Protest gay weddings and funerals of military personnel. It is their mission to interrupt church services to proclaim that they have the only truth and your church is teaching false doctrine.

I’m talking about those ‘Christians‘ that will cut themselves off from family and friends who do not live their way and ensure that every conversation must involve their proclamation that you must conform, or suffer eternal damnation.

And most interesting of all is the wrestling of Scripture to support this militant way of serving Christ. For instance, a commonly misquoted verse is Matthew 10:34-36;

“Do not think that I have come to bring peace on the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword [of division between belief and unbelief]. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law and a man’s enemies will be the members of his [own] household [when one believes and another does not]. (Amplified Bible)

The followers of these hyper-aggressive systems will take this Scripture and say that even JESUS promoted dividing families and made the point that He didn’t come to be ‘friendly.’

Yet for all that, they miss the central purpose of this passage. It was not the followers of Christ turning against each other for dressing differently, having a different order of service or method of worship, or even *gasp* doctrines. Christ’s message was simple. He knew that the result of His message was that people who choose to follow him would be hated by those who rejected him.

The central message of Christ was an abounding LOVE and Kindness to ALL Mankind, even those who disagreed!

Christ specifically told His disciples, ‘preach this message – if any reject you, they do not reject you personally, but they are rejecting me. Simply dust off your feet and keep going.‘

For I am convinced [and continue to be convinced—beyond any doubt] that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present and threatening, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the [unlimited] love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39, Amplified Bible

The Fruit of having His Spirit is, according to Galatians 5:22,23 is Love, Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith, Meekness, and Temperance. If this is to be believed, then those practicing hyper-aggressive, militant methods to convert people to their doctrines and who shun those that do not accept it, are not filled with the Spirit of Christ and do not practice Christianity.

You can view the original article here: https://dividetheword.blog/2018/05/01/do-you-know-an-aggressive-militant-christian-who-is-unlike-christ/

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How to spot Pastor/Leader Worship

Intriguingly, not a single person in the Bible was named Pastor, yet it was named in the 5-fold ministry and appears to be a spiritual gift, something that was enacted for the perfecting of God’s people. A position of leadership, to point towards the Christ and to inspire others toward Christ.

Yet, history and experience have also taught that pastors can become idolized, creating movements that follow the man and not the Christ. When the man fails, the movement fails. And when a human reveres another human, they are ripe to be taken advantage of by that human.

My inspiration for this writing is two-fold. First is that I left (after 15 years) what is a bonafide cult – a split off church from the Oneness Pentecostal church (United Pentecostal Church) that went independent and fanatical. In this cult, the pastor was everything, overriding any leading of the Spirit an individual may have. Secondly, I recently finished watching the Netflix documentary Wild Wild Country.

First Things First

This is not to bash and bang on pastors. Only God knows the burden and labor someone who takes that office is placed under. If you believe in spiritual warfare, I would argue 75% of that warfare is aimed at spiritual leaders. They must take seriously their position of leading people to Christ, and simultaneously remember they are simply followers themselves. I think the latter part is the hardest.

In the documentary about Baghwan Rajneesh, a Hindu guru that amassed a great following and eventually created a 70,000 acre compound in Antelope, OR, (191 miles from where I live) it becomes evident immediately that this man is being worshiped. Every person hangs on his every word and to simply be in his presence evoked great emotions.

I can recall three times in the 15 years of my time in my cult that I was able to sit next to the pastor, and I would have given my right arm for each experience. I felt special to be that close to the man. His admiration and approval meant everything to me in the years that I was really bought into the lies. At a group function (one time) I sat next to my pastor and I probably gushed with arrogant pride that it was me and not someone else.

Worshiping Leadership

The first way to spot Pastor Worship is seeing someone completely enamored and devoted to the person. They hang on their every word. If the pastor stands up, they stand up. If the pastor wears blue, they wear blue.

One way I spotted it in my cult was noticing people dressed and reflected the pastor. The way the young men in the church talked sounded like the pastor. Their facial expressions mimicked the pastor. The phrases and speech style of the pastor was mimicked in the young men. This was the same for the young women who would mimic the pastor’s wife.

There certainly is nothing wrong with admiring a person for their labor in the church, but when you begin cloning the person, you have idolized them and they have absolute control over you.

These people will often repeat phrases the pastor has shrouded in his messages like, ‘This man has given his life for me!’ or ‘He has given everything to this church, the least we can do is give him our everything…’ (Please note that one man giving his wealth, to having 100, 200, 1000 or more people return their wealth is a pretty good ROI!)

This also ends with followers becoming militant in their defense of the pastor or leader. In the Rajneesh cult, they literally took up weapons. In my cult, I heard men say, while pumping their fist in the air or punching one palm with the other fist, ‘Don’t you come against my man of God or you’ll get the five folded ministry.’

The Pastor Overrides God

One of the most striking examples of this came when I felt the Lord lead me into some type of ministry. At the time I felt God called me to take the Gospel to a third-world country. We always think of that as an evangelist or preacher.

After three or four days of turmoil, I went to the pastor and told him about it. His response was a little shocking to me now – but then I accepted it as right. The pastor said,

“If that was God leading you, he would have confirmed it in me, and he hasn’t.”

Another example of this is a man I know who felt it was right to take his family to another town and another church. Instead of the pastor asking, “Is this what you think the Lord wants you to do, and if so, then listen to Him.” the pastor said, “I don’t think this is the right move and if you move without my blessings, you’ll do it without God’s blessings too.”

That family is basically exiled from the church because they moved without the pastors blessing.

The Bible tells Christians to be led by the Spirit, not by a man. Jesus said, “If you love me, keep my commandments.” Not the pastor’s commandments. That isn’t to say we shouldn’t seek counsel from our pastor, and listen, but if he (pastor) thinks he is wiser and overrides the Spirit, he is out of his place.

No Demand Seems Too High, No Crime is Too Much

Outsiders, often family, will say things like, “Why do you let them control you like that?” and the most common response is, “They don’t control me! I want to do this.”

People who idolize their pastor never feel like the demands are too high. No amount of time, money, energy or sacrifice is enough to pay back all that the pastor has put in to the church. And they normally remind you of this, roundabouts time to preach about tithing.

Furthermore, people who idolize their pastor look right over the top of controversy and criminal behavior and call it ‘persecution of the devil.’ A classic example is my old pastor, who was found guilty of violating child labor laws and was subsequently sued for defaming a former member and settled for nearly $1,000,000 to shut up the former member with a gag order. To the people still in the church, it was ‘made up charges’ and ‘worldly persecution.’

Conclusion

This is the reality of pastor worship. If you are a pastor and reading this, please know that I am not coming against you – just those who abuse the position.

1 Peter 2:9 tells us that we are a peculiar people belonging to God. Jesus said that the gates of hell would not prevail against HIS church. Jesus prayed to the father and called us HIS sheep.

We do not belong to a pastor – we follow a pastor if he is walking and leading us to Christ. Paul said, “Imitate me as I imitate Christ.” 1 Corinthians 11:1. This leaves the door open that if Paul stops imitating Christ, they (disciples) were to stop imitating Paul.

If you see someone idolizing their pastor, share this article with them. We need a revolution of people willing to follow Christ and not the man with the shiniest suit, the finest car, the best programs, the trophy wife…Jesus commanded Peter, ‘Feed my sheep,’ not ‘Fleece my sheep.’

Please view my original content at https://www.dividetheword.blog

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Signs of Religious Abuse, Part 2

It seems that the list of signs of religious abuse build on each other to a degree, or at least they did for me. They did throughout my 19 years in Pentecost, but most could be seen to some degree in the first months I was there, beginning with the first visit. One of the first things I heard was how they had The Truth, how they had something that other churches didn’t have, and that I could have too. This appealed to my 18 year old self. I could be something special and could have something special, and if I would just pull away from my family and friends and focus on the church, they would see my light and my good witness by being separate from them and would start coming to church too. This, I was told, was being a good witness. In fact, it was isolationist.

Ensnarement
Instead of guiding their flock to Christian maturity, abusive leaders strengthen their grip on believers by promoting:
Self doubt
Guilt
Interior conflict
Identity confusion
Ambivalence

Leaders encourage followers to “earn” favor, but set the mark for achieving this so high and make it so ambiguous that it’s impossible to obtain.

Followers are confused by contradictions between conscience/reasoning and teachings.
Believers fear of condemnation, loss of direction, loss of fellowship.
It is difficult and painful for believers to leave abusive churches.

Authoritarianism
Leaders are convinced they exercise God’s authority.
They expect believers to obey them rather than God.
They expect others to support their intentions.
They discourage input and accountability.
They frequently repeat Heb 13:17, “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy and not with grief…”

Manipulation
Instead of interpreting the Bible with the Bible, according to long-held Christian beliefs, and in context, abusive leaders manipulate scriptures so that they appear to endorse the leaders’ personal opinions.

I think there’s another type of manipulation, too… that of manipulating people’s thoughts and conscience–for instance, if you say you’re concerned about something a leader does, the leader might question your love for God or point out that you are supposed to obey/submit to him, or say, “Do you think you’re smarter than me? Don’t you think I have the Holy Ghost? If you don’t like it here [AKA don’t agree with him on everything] you can leave right now!”

Irrationality
Interpretations of scripture may contradict other interpretations, reason, and/or reality.
Leaders (or others) may claim to receive messages from God about church or individual members.
There may be self-proclaimed “healing ministries.”
Members may be pressured into dramatic confessions of sin.
There may be exaggerated professions of deliverance.
There may be little lasting effect.
Members must suspend critical thinking.

During this time, just 2-4 months in, I began noticing more and more that there were all the members of the church and then there was the ‘inner circle,’ those closest to the pastor and pastor’s wife, who were most often called on and most ‘used’ in services — they were the ones who sang solos, led parts of the service, and were given as examples of how to live and praised during the preaching or in smaller group settings. My goal was to somehow join the ‘inner circle,’ to be one of the pastor’s favorites. I’m not sure who was coercing me at this point, the church or me. I craved praise and recognition and was hopeful that I could be deserving of it and would obtain it. I developed a long list of what I could and should do in order to do so. And yet I began having more and more fears that I couldn’t be ‘good enough,’ that I’d somehow miss an opportunity and never have that chance again. My pastor at that time taught (or at least I thought) that if we felt God wanted to do something through us and we resisted, God would withdraw that offer and we would never have that gift.

In all of this I was conforming to the group and developing a legalistic mindset. I didn’t see this as fear of being ostracized or shamed, but simply as a desperation to belong fully; yet the very fact that I knew I wouldn’t belong if I didn’t do certain things shows that the fear of ostracism was there. It was strongly linked to the elitism that was still being fed to me, so I saw it as a positive at the time. In fact, though, I was losing my own identity. I stopped swimming and biking. I changed my hair style and clothes dramatically. I became very self conscious about my body and became convinced that I was not (and should not be) physically attractive, and I started doubting the decisions that I’d spent 18 years wishing I could make (while I grew up). At the same time I began more and more to feel condemned for the strangest things — Was wearing yoga pants under my skirt so that I could bike modesty wrong? No one else was wearing their sleeves so short. Did the pastor just look at me oddly for wearing that barrette? What might I be missing? What should I be doing better?

I left my first church after seven years there. I had hoped to go to Bible College. The pastor had said no. I wanted to do more with missions and was finally given permission (yes, permission) to go on a missions trip. The church barely acknowledged I was going. I’d been pressured to testify how great the women’s retreat was or the youth conference, but suddenly I wasn’t asked to say a thing… instead I was actually asked to stop talking about it. I’d wanted to go on a missions trip since I was 13 or 14 years old, and finally after more than ten years, my dream was coming true, but no one asked me about it and instead I was asked to stop ‘bragging’ about it, since no one else was going. Still, through all of that, I didn’t recognize that there might be anything wrong with The Church. I’d been groomed well. I thought there was something wrong with me. Still, I hoped by moving and going to a different church, with the pastor’s approval, of course, that things would get better. And so I moved and started this exact same story again in a more conservative group.

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What’s Love Got To Do With It?

I was married for 27 years and really thought I loved my husband and he loved me. We had been pastoring a small but growing United Pentecostal Church church for eight years and then the unthinkable happened. He left me for another woman while I was out of town helping our son get settled in college.

When I came home he was gone, he left me a letter telling me all about his girlfriend and etc. He also closed out our bank account and took $5,000 from the church account. I had $12 in my purse and a grieving church to deal with and it felt like my heart was breaking into a thousand pieces. I was also the section ladies leader and I had speaking obligations to attend to.

It was a lot to deal with but I put on my best facade and mustered through all the pain of obligations, board meetings, closing the books of the church and trying to stay afloat financially. I had 30 days to get my act together and move our mobile home and try to find a job. But I managed it. With a lot of help from my parents.

I filed for divorce about four weeks after he left me and I had secured a good job and was feeling more confident that I was going to be OK on my own. My life has never been the same.

I was free from somebody else’s control and could make my own decisions about everything. I felt free, very free. I had my own money and I was living life on my own for the first time ever.

Although there were times my heart hurt so bad that I was almost sick with grief and that’s when the phone calls started….first call came from a friend in Alabama and she knew a pastor who just lost his wife to cancer a few months ago and was looking for a new wife. She had told him about me and he thought we would be a perfect match. So she gave him my number….which aggravated me!

A few days later Mr. Widower Pastor called me and I was polite and kindly told him I was not interested in a relationship. He wouldn’t let it go telling me how big the church was and how nice his house had been decorated by his wife and that I could move right in.

I couldn’t believe my ears…I’ve never met this man before and here he was offering me marriage, another woman’s decorated home and being a pastor’s wife again. I asked him about love and commitment. He said that would come later. He wanted to fly me down there to check everything out and seal the deal.

I was shocked by the calculating coldness that a marriage proposal was being treated like a business contract. Needless to say I declined and he found someone else to “move right in.”

There were a few more calls but I turned them down I had no interest in marriage with a stranger but I now understand why some UPC marriages seem so fake…because they are. There is no love between pastor and wife so how much love could there be with the saints of the church?

What’s love got to do with it? Everything!

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