Author: Nancy | Page 3 | Spiritual Abuse Blogs

Selective reading of the scriptures

It amazes me how my former church organization was able to justify reading the scriptures to support their doctrines and ignoring the ones that do not.

An example is “Man looks on the outward appearance but God looks on the heart”. They interpret this to mean that God expects you to wear and not wear certain things, especially if you are a woman –say what???!!!

Another is “take no thought for what you should wear . . . something about how he clothes the birds, etc”. They interpret this as think very hard about what you wear and make sure it is approved by the church and pastor. Oh, and be sure to take hours on that hairdo and shopping is of course one of our only approved activities.

Then there are all the scriptures about love, including God is Love. They interpret these to mean love your brother and sister IF they are in ‘the truth’ and following all the rules very closely, but remember God is an angry God and you better be careful what you do, see, hear, say because you are one small step from eternal damnation! Oh, and remember all that gossip and meanness you pass around when a brother or sister slip up is really done in ‘love’ Yeah right!

Of course the scriptures about gluttony are completely ignored. They create an entire doctrine around one obscure scripture about hair while they walk around in their tonnage proclaiming their scriptural superiority.

Don’t even consider the scripture about the good Samaritan, if you see a poor soul in need, only pay attention if he/she can in some way promote the message of the church.

There is a scripture about humility, something about taking the low seat and perhaps being asked to move up being better than the other way around –well, that one they totally demolished. They create a whole table of high seats, usually related and God forbid anyone would have the nerve to question their right to be there.

There are more anomalies but you get the picture and isn’t it just sad?

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God Answers Prayer

Sometimes I think maybe God allows us to experience things just so He can show us how much he loves us and how great He is. We don’t earn our blessings, we don’t deserve them, we can’t demand them but God in His love and mercy blesses us beyond measure anyway. How great is our God!

Not all prayers are answered in the way we want but after a lifetime of experience, I know and have faith that all things work together for good . . . . .

God answers prayer.

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Don’t be the great somebody

I love reading the Message Bible! I know the KJV is supposedly the most accurate but I can’t find any disagreement and face it King James didn’t speak my language. 😀

ROMANS 15:1 Strength is for service not status.

If we are blessed by God to be able to be strong, it isn’t so we can have something to boast about, it is so we may help others. I know we really know this, but sometimes, especially in unhealthy church situations, the stronger among us become a bit like Saul – a legend in their own minds. 🙂

We hear touch not mine anointed taught as if only the preacher is in that category – not true. Search this out!

There is so much in Romans, whether the Message or KJV. Reading with an open heart and mind is blessing me tremendously.

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Maybe it is just me

For years when I didn’t seem to be able to ‘fit in’ in the cultic church that was my heritage, I would ask myself “is it just me?” Is it just me when it seems there is so little real friendship, or even so few real people? Is it just me when things just don’t make sense and I am unable to mindlessly just go along when everyone else seems OK? Is it just me when I feel shunned but don’t really understand why? Or when my beautiful well liked (everywhere but church) children are shunned? Is it just me when I feel I have no true friends in the church?

In viewing my life from this much older person vantage point, I think perhaps some of it was just me. When we first left the cult and found other escapees with similar experiences, there was great relief in thinking “OK, it wasn’t just me!”

However, upon reflection, I am beginning to realize much of my unhappiness in the cult came from my own nature to not be a cliquey, groupy, type person. I remember as a 10 year old getting all the neighborhood girls together to form a club, but though they were all my friends, some didn’t know each other and had formed their own little cliques. My goal was to ‘bring us all together’. Then in high school, after lunch, I would go from clique to clique, being friendly to many different and differing groups. One friend asked me why I didn’t just pick one group to belong; I really didn’t know, it just didn’t fit ‘me’.

As an adult, my hubby and I would throw parties and I intentionally invited people from my eclectic groups of friends, neighbors, church friends, scouting friends, homeschool friends, etc. I would make up icebreaker questions so they could get to know each other. One of the funniest is when ‘I was a high school quarterback’ was answered by our little petite friend, Marsha 😀 (it was an all girl team, but still . . . .)

In the cult, having outside, different friends was discouraged unless you were attempting to bring them into ‘the truth’. Following the rules explicitly was expected, but most seemed more than a bit hypocritical in this. Another way it probably was just me; I abhorred hypocrisy, so it was either I really followed the belief or I really didn’t. I have always worked diligently at being the same person no matter where I was.

So maybe, at least a part of why I never seemed to really fit into a group and culture that I was literally 3rd generation born in was ‘it was just me’! The best part of me! The me that refused to be part of a clique, the me that loved people from all walks of life, the me that tried to forge friendships in diversity, the me that refused to be hypocritical, the me that God created me to be.

It is OK to be me .

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The joy in being needed

Just thinking today how important it is to be needed. The older I get, the more I understand how it is more blessed to give than to receive. My spouse is disabled; many of his disabled buddies give up because they are a burden and no longer feel needed. Biff is always available to run an errand, chauffeur a child, take me to lunch, whatever is needed – we can’t imagine surviving without his being at our beck and call. He does everything cheerfully; he knows the joy of being needed. I work too many hours but drop everything when one of my kids or grandkids have a need; being needed by them is one of life’s greatest joys.

I have to believe God also finds joy in being needed by His children. Asking God for help is not something to be ashamed of or done in fear. Just as we wait anxiously for an opportunity to answer our children’s needs, so God must be pleased when we come to Him in faith believing, not as if we have earned anything but just secure in our knowledge that He loves us and will be there for us, providing our needs.

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