Author: Lois | Page 41 | Spiritual Abuse Blogs

Jewelry Questions

The teaching on jewelry can vary from church to church or area to area in some religious organizations. In my former church, wedding rings were fine, but in some of our other churches they taught you’d go to hell if you wore one. My church didn’t teach against things like tie tacks or cuff links, though some do, and a few members of our church got caught up in that and left. Jewelry that was not OK where I attended were necklaces, earrings, bracelets, and such.

What did your church allow or disallow? Were you taught you’d be lost should you wear any jewelry? Were you shunned or considered backslid? I vividly recall one United Pentecostal Church General Conference where a minister got up and spoke against the evils of wearing a wedding ring. James Kilgore, then the assistant superintendent, went up afterward and let it be known that everyone did not believe the same on that issue.

In the Bible, wearing jewelry is not mentioned as being sinful. Ezekiel 16, in speaking of Jerusalem, God shares how he decked her with gold and silver bracelets, neck chains, forehead jewels, and earrings. In Exodus 11 God instructs Moses to tell the people to ‘borrow’ jewels of silver and gold from the Egyptians. They did this when they left the country and does anyone really think that no one wore any? Later in Exodus 35, it shows the people giving bracelets, earrings, rings and other jewelry to be used toward building the tabernacle. If God doesn’t want believers to wear jewelry, wouldn’t God be sending very mixed signals by these examples? Stop and really think this teaching through.

What scriptures did you hear used to support the teaching that Christians are not supposed to wear jewelry? Did you later see they were taken out of context? And if these standards are really God’s rules, why do they change from church to church or area to area?

If God has not commanded believers to refrain from wearing jewelry, we need not follow man’s teachings on the subject. It doesn’t matter how many ministers and pastors shout it from a pulpit, it doesn’t change the truth of what is seen in our Bibles.

Against Oneness Pentecostalism Giveaway

Thanks to the generosity of Michael R. Burgos, Jr., we are giving away two brand new copies of his book, Against Oneness Pentecostalism . This was released in 2016. It contains many footnotes. Michael plans to issue a second edition of the book later this year and it will essentially be his doctoral dissertation.

In one review of the book, Nick Norelli wrote in part, “In the near 25 years since the publication of Gregory Boyd’s Oneness Pentecostals and the Trinity there has been a dearth of critical interaction with the arguments and exegetical underpinnings of Oneness Pentecostal theology. Michael Burgos has taken up this task in Against Oneness Pentecostalism. Here Burgos interacts with the top Oneness Pentecostal theologians and expositors of our day and finds their arguments wanting.”

Some may be interested in Michael’s earlier book addressing Oneness Pentecostalism that was released in 2012 , Kiss the Son: A Christological Apology in Response to David K. Bernard’s The Oneness of God.

This giveaway is only open to those with a USA mailing address. It doesn’t matter if you have won or requested material from us in the past, you are free to enter this drawing. To enter, please make a comment in response to this blog post to show you are interested. Then on Friday, March 31 after 6pm eastern time, two names will be drawn from all the entries and the winners will be announced here. If I do not already have your mailing address, be sure to respond to my email (so be sure to use your actual email address when entering). If you do not respond by the following day, you will forfeit your copy and I will draw another name.

EDITED April 29, 2017 to add: This is a free PDF copy of the second edition of Michael Burgos’ book, Against Oneness Pentecostalism, with 55 pages of new material. You can sign up with only your email address to get a copy. https://www.academia.edu/32655863/Against_Oneness_Pentecostalism_An_Exegetical-Theological_Critique [EDIT: Link no longer works.]

Brief Thoughts On Bitterness

For those of us who left abusive unhealthy churches, the warning against bitterness is an appropriate one. Whether a bad experience was in a church setting or totally unrelated, one needs to be on guard to not allow bitterness to remain should it be encountered. Bitterness will hurt you more than anyone else in the long run and you will never heal.

Some current members of unhealthy churches love to throw out the bitterness label should a former member mention anything that appears to be negative about the church, its leadership, or the teachings and practices. It is done in an attempt to discredit and silence them.

While people can twist what bitterness is, or attempt to scare people with verses pertaining to it, the fact remains that bitterness is real and is something the Bible tells us to put off and not allow to remain in our lives. Sometimes we do not want to admit we have a problem, but denial of it will not help one to overcome. Because a verse was used against you in a wrong way or was twisted, does not mean that we can avoid the true meaning of the passage.

There are indeed people who struggle with bitterness after leaving an unhealthy church environment. Does everyone? No, but many do for varying lengths of time. The key is to not allow it to remain for months and years. We cannot brush it aside and simply claim it is anger and say we’re allowed to feel angry when that anger has actually turned to bitterness. This is like anything else- if one denies the struggle, they can’t be helped much. Don’t be afraid to admit struggles.

If one speaks about their past unhealthy church experience, does this mean they are harboring bitterness in their heart? No, this in itself is not bitterness. I’ve been accused of being bitter in having my spiritual abuse website because I speak about what happens in abusive churches. The website would be a whole lot different if it was done out of bitterness! Speaking about your experience does not mean you are bitter—-but how you speak of it may give a clue that you might be.

Talking about our experiences does not mean we are hanging on to the past. The admonition to “Get over it and move on” is unhelpful and shows ignorance of the complexity of the situation. Normally in unhealthy churches, certain questioning is not welcomed and one usually is not at liberty to openly question the validity of teachings or how the church is operated.

When one leaves, there are usually many questions and issues which need to be addressed in order for the person to heal, recover and sort through the various teachings. Some need to discuss and vent more than others. They need to be given space to do this. Doing so does not equate to being bitter or holding on to the past.

Focus on Church or Jesus?

We often speak of the difference between following religion and having a relationship with God. Many of us, while in the United Pentecostal Church or similar churches, ended up getting caught up in religion and our focus shifted.

Below is a quote from an article written in The Reporter News (a local weekly paper near the Houston area) on March 15, 2006. A minister by the name of Casey Jones is the author.

…if I had tried to convince some*one to become a Christian, it would have been a matter of my trying to get them to agree with me, rather than wishing for them to meet and experience God.

The above quote says a great deal. Think about it for a bit. How many focus on getting people to their church or at least their organization? How many focus on getting the person into the baptismal tank or to have them speak in tongues?

Compare these things with wanting the person to learn of and have a personal relationship with God. See the enormous difference? Perhaps you have been guilty of the same? I know I have.

Some other believers could go door knocking or send out invitations to their church, but would have been happy if, as a result of their efforts, someone went to another church in the area. While they would have welcomed the person at their church, it wasn’t just about filling up their pews or hurrying up to drag them to their water baptism. For them it was about the people coming to know Jesus.

Do you see the difference?

This brings another thought to mind, and that is how some are in such a hurry to drag people into the baptismal tank and get them to speak in tongues. They will gather around and stay with the new people until both happen and then move on to the next ‘unsaved’ believer. It is all about getting two acts completed so a person is ‘saved’ and often there is little focus on helping them develop their relationship with God.

Something to think about….