Author: Lois

I was a member of the United Pentecostal Church for just under 13 years and was a licensed minister during a short part of that time. I am the owner of the SpiritualAbuse.org website, which was started four years after leaving. I am originally from southern New Jersey.

Second Book Giveaway of 2017

This giveaway is now closed.

We have given away books for years as part of the spiritualabuse.org ministry and this will be our second large one via this blog for 2017. This is your chance to receive one or more free books on various issues. After making your request, be sure to respond to my email requesting your mailing address if I do not already have it. The last giveaway we had someone request books but never responded. This keeps material from others.

The first people with a USA mailing address who respond will receive their choice of books at no charge to them. (Unfortunately, it is cost prohibitive to mail these books outside of the USA. Canadians with a USA mailing address are welcome to request books.) To respond, just leave a comment for this post. If you are unsure what any book is about, the links will take you to Amazon where you may read their description and reviews.

Up for grabs are several used books and DVDs.

  1. Four paperback copies of Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. (One has some highlighting.) TWO TAKEN
  2. One paperback copy of Love Is A Choice: Recovery for Codependent Relationships by Hemfelt, Minirth & Meier. (Has some underlining.) TAKEN
  3. Two hardback copies of Boundaries by Henry Cloud & John Townsend. (One has some markings.) ONE TAKEN
  4. One paperback copy of Cults In Our Midst by Margaret Singer. (Has highlighting.) TAKEN
  5. One CD MP3 NIV Audio New Testament Dramatized by Faith Comes By Hearing.
  6. One hardback copy of The Church Awakening by Charles Swindoll.
  7. One hardback copy of The Jesus I Never Knew by Philip Yancey. TAKEN
  8. One paperback copy of The Unauthorized Guide To Choosing a Church by Carmen Renee Berry.
  9. One paperback copy of Testament The Bible Odyssey.
  10. One hardback copy of Overcomers Outreach A Bridge To Recovery by Bob & Pauline Bartosch. TAKEN
  11. One hardback copy of Naves Topical Bible. TAKEN
  12. Two hardback copies of Authority Abusers by G.G. Bloomer. TAKEN
  13. One hardback copy of Holy Bible New Revised Standard Version.
  14. One paperback copy of The Kingdom Of The Cults Limited Edition by Walter Martin. TAKEN
  15. One paperback copy of Since Nobody’s Perfect…How Good Is Good Enough by Any Stanley. TAKEN
  16. Two paperback copies of Neo-Phariseeism by David Wasmundt (former UPC minister) TAKEN
  17. One paperback copy of the 2009 United Pentecostal Church Manual. (only sold to ministers) TAKEN
  18. Two paperback copies of The Case For Easter by Lee Strobel. TAKEN
  19. One paperback copy of Don’t Let The Jerks Get The Best Of You by Paul Meier. TAKEN
  20. One paperback copy of The Year Of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs.
  21. One paperback copy of Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy by Susan Forward. TAKEN
  22. One paperback copy of If You Had Controlling Parents by Dan Neuharth. TAKEN
  23. One paperback copy of What’s So Amazing About Grace by Philip Yancey. TAKEN
  24. Three paperback copies of The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. TAKEN
  25. One paperback copy of The Art Of Forgiving by Lewis B. Smedes. TAKEN
  26. One paperback copy of Good ‘N Angry: How To Handle Your Anger Positively by Les Carter. (some markings) TAKEN
  27. One paperback copy of Healing Of Memories by David A. Seamands. TAKEN
  28. One paperback copy of The Wounded Heart by Dan B. Allender (Child Sexual Abuse) TAKEN
  29. One paperback copy of Healing Your Emotional Self by Beverly Engel. TAKEN
  30. One paperback copy of More Jesus, Less Religion by Stephen Arterburn & Jack Felton. TAKEN
  31. One paperback copy of Baker’s Harmony Of The Gospels. TAKEN
  32. One paperback copy of Changes That Heal Workbook by Henry Cloud.
  33. One hardcover copy of Under The Banner Of Heaven by Jon Krakauer (Mormon).
  34. One hardcover copy of Get Out Of That Pit Devotional Journal by Beth Moore. TAKEN
  35. One hardcover copy of Counterfeit Revival by Hank Hanegraaff. TAKEN
  36. One hardcover copy of The Narcissist Next Door by Jeffrey Kluger. (some underlining) TAKEN
  37. One hardcover copy of What’s So Amazing About Grace by Philip Yancey. TAKEN
  38. One hardcover copy of Prayer: Does It Make A Difference by Philip Yancey. (some markings)
  39. One hardcover copy of The Truth Book by Joy Castro. (Jehovah’s Witness Abuse)
  40. One hardcover copy of Living With Your Dreams by David A. Seamands. TAKEN
  41. One hardcover copy of The Emotionally Healthy Church by Peter Scazzero. TAKEN
  42. One hardcover copy of More Jesus, Less Religion by Stephen Arterburn & Jack Felton. TAKEN
  43. One hardcover copy of Vine’s Expository Dictionary. TAKEN
  44. One KJV Thompson Chain Reference Study Bible. (Has some markings and water damage near the back.)
  45. One DVD of The Story Of Two Kings/Where Did The Bible Come From.
  46. One DVD of Cult Explosion: Cults Exposed By Those Who Escaped (Walter Martin). TAKEN
  47. One paperback copy of The Relief Of Imperfection by Joan C. Webb. TAKEN
  48. One hardcover copy of The Gentle Art Of Verbal Self Defense by Suzette Haden Elgin.
  49. Kidz Bible Audio Bible For Kids NIRV MP3 Format – new.
  50. One hardcover copy of Love Is A Choice: Recovery for Codependent Relationships by Hemfelt, Minirth & Meier. TAKEN
  51. One hardcover copy of Zondervan Handbook To The Bible.
  52. One hardcover copy of All The Apostles Of The Bible by Herbert Lockyer. TAKEN
  53. One hardcover copy of The Works of Philo Complete And Unabridged. TAKEN
  54. One hardcover copy of Handbook of Denominations in the United States Ninth Edition by Frank S. Mead. TAKEN
  55. One paperback copy of Surviving The Shadows by Bob Delany (post-traumatic stress). TAKEN

The first people with a USA mailing address who respond will receive their choice of book(s) at no charge to them. To respond, just leave a comment on this post. Please understand that comments require approval unless you have previously commented. So while it may look like you are first, there may be someone ahead of you whose comment is pending. Be sure to use your actual email address when setting up to comment as I will be contacting you through it if I do not already have your address. Check your spam folder as email sometimes goes there. (For your privacy, do not put your email or address in the comment.)

Be sure to mention which book(s) you would like and you may refer to them by number instead of the title. There is no limit on how many you may request, though you may only have one copy of any title.

We always provide these at no charge to our readers. If anyone would like to help with the expenses involved, you may do so via GFM in the link below. Donations may also be sent via snail mail to Lois Gibson, P.O. Box 300682, Waterford, MI 48330. Our total cost for just the postage on this giveaway was $68.74.

Top April Posts

Here are the top ten read blogs from April 2017.

The blog section of the spiritual abuse website had 7858 visits, with 4145 being unique.

We are always looking for new people to join our group of bloggers, so please register and watch your email for more information. You are under no obligation to make a certain number of posts. Commenting directly on the blog is an encouragement to our authors as they often cannot see all the places where these are shared and discussed on social media.

Below are the top ten read posts for April. Thanks so much to all our readers and authors!

How Long Is Your Skirt? (Er, How Holy Are You?) – author John. (accessed 1403 times)

How Long Is Your Skirt? (Er, How Holy Are You?) Pt. 2 – author John. (accessed 711 times)

PTCS -Post Traumatic Church Syndrome – author Nana5. (accessed 455 times)

Church Submission Teachings – author Through Grace. (accessed 320 times)

Sunday Night Fright Night – author Susan.

Abuse and Submission – author Through Grace.

If You Were To Die Tonight – author Lois.

You Might be a Controlling Church/Pastor if… – author Through Grace.

God Hates Abuse – author Through Grace.

You don’t have to look – author Eleanor Skelton.

Jewelry Questions – author Lois.

If You Were To Die Tonight

If you were to die tonight, where would you spend eternity?

I saw this again the other day and I set it aside as I wanted to write about it. I grow so weary with seeing things like this. Unhealthy churches distort the Gospel and they change people’s focus from God to other things. Relationship with God is replaced with performance based religion. The message of grace is twisted and people develop warped views of God due to the faulty teachings and practices. It is about escaping hell. It becomes about bringing people to their church and not necessarily into a relationship with God. Let me give an example of what I believe to be this faulty evangelism focus.

Tim Downs is an Apostolic evangelist and pastor. His stated vision is to train Apostolics (Oneness Pentecostals) how to win souls and reach the lost. Some years back he released a poorly made DVD titled, Do You Want To Go To Heaven Or Hell (screenshot), which was touted as a ‘soul winning’ method. (The first link takes you to the film on YouTube and the second to a print out of his method.)

His approach involves asking people if they want to go to heaven or hell and then he quickly transports them to a church, gets them water baptized and attempts to pray them through to tongues. The approach seems to be to avoid hell and because of this, I view it as motivated through fear. People who come to a church or God that way often do not last and understandably so. Besides not becoming rooted, they are not hearing about the love of God and how much he cares for them. Instead, it becomes about fleeing eternal torment and is a seemingly ‘quick fix’ to that scenario.

Take note the scripted discussion in the video. Do you notice the wrong emphasis? How does this compare to what we see in the New Testament, of when believers were sharing the Gospel to someone who didn’t know? Here it is all about avoiding hell and being baptized ‘the right way.’ This causes people to believe they need to follow a few steps and they are assured of going to heaven. It’s about what THEY must do to be saved. Hey- that’s what the initial focus and hurry is all about- going to heaven or going to hell. It isn’t about coming to know Jesus.

The method used by Downs, and similar ones by others, misses what becoming a believer is about. It isn’t about going to heaven or hell. Church today is so messed up that it has strayed so far from early Christian practices that in many ways it bears little resemblance.

If you are using this misguided focus to reach people, please stop to take a long, hard look at what you see in the New Testament. Do you recall Peter, Phillip, John, Paul or any of the others ask people something like “If you were to die tonight, where would you spend eternity?” or “Do you want to go to heaven or hell?” Even Jesus himself never went around asking these questions. Did they focus on getting people baptized ‘the right way’ or was it about having a new life with Jesus? Was it about numbers being added to a church’s or evangelist’s statistics, or was it about how God loves us and the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus and what that means to them?

While such methods may produce numbers which may seem impressive without further investigation, what are the long term results? Are people doing what is told them simply to have a false assurance that they will go to heaven? Like with the scare tactic of the rapture messages, how many go for a short time and then leave or not even return at all after their initial encounter? Let’s use Downs’ own statistics as some food for thought.

On his evangelism website, Downs writes that in 2011 he left evangelizing to pastor a church in Georgia. It is stated, “In the first year they baptized over 712 people in the name of Jesus…” Yet when we go to the church website, we find that “They have seen incredible growth since opening the church on May 1, 2011 with having an attendance of 200-300 on a regular basis.” What happened to those several hundred missing people from the first year and who knows how many in the years thereafter? Did they ever come to know Jesus or have a one on one relationship with him? Or was it nothing more than avoiding hell and wanting to go to heaven? These are things we should seriously ponder.

The question should never be “If you were to die tonight, where would you spend eternity?” Rather, the focus should be on the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus and believing and placing faith in him. It should be about God’s love for us and on having a personal relationship with God. It isn’t about heaven or hell, but about knowing and following our Creator.

[2023 Edit: Since this was written in April 2017, Downs and his wife Holly divorced and in July 2019, he married his daughter-in-law, Stephanie, whom his son had married in 2012. He is pastor of Hope Center in Michigan City, Indiana. It is touted as a “a non-denominational church,” but is Oneness Pentecostal.]

Jewelry Questions

The teaching on jewelry can vary from church to church or area to area in some religious organizations. In my former church, wedding rings were fine, but in some of our other churches they taught you’d go to hell if you wore one. My church didn’t teach against things like tie tacks or cuff links, though some do, and a few members of our church got caught up in that and left. Jewelry that was not OK where I attended were necklaces, earrings, bracelets, and such.

What did your church allow or disallow? Were you taught you’d be lost should you wear any jewelry? Were you shunned or considered backslid? I vividly recall one United Pentecostal Church General Conference where a minister got up and spoke against the evils of wearing a wedding ring. James Kilgore, then the assistant superintendent, went up afterward and let it be known that everyone did not believe the same on that issue.

In the Bible, wearing jewelry is not mentioned as being sinful. Ezekiel 16, in speaking of Jerusalem, God shares how he decked her with gold and silver bracelets, neck chains, forehead jewels, and earrings. In Exodus 11 God instructs Moses to tell the people to  ‘borrow’ jewels of silver and gold from the Egyptians. They did this when they left the country and does anyone really think that no one wore any? Later in Exodus 35, it shows the people giving bracelets, earrings, rings and other jewelry to be used toward building the tabernacle. If God doesn’t want believers to wear jewelry, wouldn’t God be sending very mixed signals by these examples? Stop and really think this teaching through.

What scriptures did you hear used to support the teaching that Christians are not supposed to wear jewelry? Did you later see they were taken out of context? And if these standards are really God’s rules, why do they change from church to church or area to area?

If God has not commanded believers to refrain from wearing jewelry, we need not follow man’s teachings on the subject. It doesn’t matter how many ministers and pastors shout it from a pulpit, it doesn’t change the truth of what is seen in our Bibles.

Top March Posts

This is for those interested in seeing the top ten read blogs from March 2017.

The blog section of the spiritual abuse website had 8221 visits, with 4617 being unique.

We are always looking for new people to join our group of bloggers, so please register and watch your email for more information. You are under no obligation to make a certain number of posts. Commenting directly on the blog is an encouragement to our authors as they often cannot see all the places where these are shared and discussed on social media.

Below are the top ten read posts for the month, excluding the giveaways. Thanks so much to all our readers and authors!

How Long Is Your Skirt? (Er, How Holy Are You?) – author John. (accessed 2786 times and this was in less than 2 days)

Selfish Greed – author FreeatLast. (accessed 308 times)

Relevant Church – author Through Grace. (accessed 296 times)

Dirty Words – author Susan. (accessed 223 times)

Koolaid – author Through Grace.

Have You Spoken Out About Spiritual Abuse? – author Lois.

A Brand New Bible – author Nana5.

Is Your Pastor Ruinous To Your Spiritual Life? – author Lois.

More on “I got to have your money” Financial Greed – author FreeatLast.

Is Your Identity In Your Dress? – author Lois.

Click to access the login or register cheese
Twitter
Facebook
YouTube
YouTube
Set Youtube Channel ID
x Powerful Protection for WordPress, from Shield Security
This Site Is Protected By
ShieldPRO →