Author: Lois

Shaky Ground In The Pursuit Of Truth

In 1973 when the late Don C. Marler was yet a member of the United Pentecostal Church, he wrote the book Imprisoned in the Brotherhood. I had never heard of him or the book for many years after leaving the UPCI and finally read it in early 2006. At the time, the book was difficult to find. It’s a small hardback, consisting of 62 pages and was reissued in Kindle and paperback formats in 2016 after his death. (The formatting on the newer version is problematic and the footnotes are messed up.)

Don Marler was born in Louisiana and grew up in the UPCI and his brother O.C. Marler is one of their licensed ministers. Don was a district director of the Harris County (Texas) Mental Health and Mental Retardation Authority. Besides Imprisoned, Marler authored several historical books as well as ones on genealogy. At some point he stopped attending any church and was no longer a Christian.

Parts of his book were interesting and good, while other parts I disliked. He speaks about several difficulties in fundamental churches, such as views on education, depression, racism, and sexuality.

In the introduction of Imprisoned, he shares about the pursuit of truth and how it can feel like the person is on shaky ground when they start this journey. Many people who are involved in unhealthy churches get caught up in religion. When one starts to question if what their church teaches is true or not, it shakes this religious foundation. Let me quote from Don’s introduction.

When one moves full tilt into pursuit of truth, he may find that the ground becomes shaky and his resolve to pursue truth wherever she might lead becomes tenuous. One learns that security based upon ignorance, prejudice, illusions, misinformation and blind tradition is a false security indeed. Old guideposts can no longer be relied upon. The prospect of seeking truth and following it fully then is often frightening. Not everyone can face it; some decide to keep their heads in the sand. The illusion of security is more tempting than the fearful journey into the unknown. Some individuals believe that pursuing truth wherever she leads is dangerous because it destroys or weakens belief and faith. Beliefs should be open to change and one would hope that truth should prevail over mere beliefs. Faith, of course, is different from beliefs and should be strengthened by truth. Does it not require faith to seek truth?

A prerequisite for pursuing truth is the ability to be open and honest with self and the ability to recognize and accept that one doesn’t possess all truth. Another is the ability and courage to assume individual responsibility for one’s search and for the conclusion one reaches. The alternative to individual interpretation and definition of truth is an institutional definition and interpretation. Since life, religion and spirituality are individual matters, it follows the truth pertaining to them is primarily an individual matter. Therefore, the conclusions, ideas and thoughts expressed in this book are my responsibility.

I am a member of the United Pentecostal Church and am more familiar with it than with other churches. Many of the comments made herein are a result of participation in and observation of that church. After having lived and worked for most of my life in the South (the so-called Bible Belt) I have concluded that those of fundamentalist belief are more alike than they are different. The book, then, is directed to all fundamentalists specifically and to all Christians generally. The intent of this book is to be challenging, critical and questioning. Although this is a book of various issues and observations, its central theme is that we have imprisoned ourselves and each other in a religious system. The major purpose of this book is to help us see more clearly how this is done. Only after we see this imprisonment clearly can we decide whether we want to keep it this way or to change it. Only then can we decide whether we want to be free or not.

Here are some questions to ponder:

Why does the ground feel shaky when we start to question church teachings, whatever they may be?

Have you seen ones who have started to question and then pull back because it is too upsetting to them?

Is there a false security?

What about individual responsibility? Or is it easier to ‘go with the flow’ and remain entrenched in religion?

It’s easy to have it all laid out for you. You do this, this and this, avoid that and the other, and you’ll be pleasing to God. There’s a sense of security that can come by following and checking off such a list, but it is actually a false sense of security.

Think of the Pharisees. They had their lengthy detailed list of rules to follow and some of it was actually scriptural. But then somewhere along the way, the list became the focus and that list grew so one could better keep the things in the list. They felt very secure in it. And yet it wasn’t real security. Jesus showed their hearts were far from God and they were in danger of being lost. Yet all the while they felt quite saved. Children of Abraham. Keepers of the law.

I love how one person I know responded to the question about pulling back after starting to question:

I did it many times during the years I was in the UPC.

It’s like being in a boat and standing up and trying to put your foot on shore. The boat starts rocking wildly and you are not sure if its the boat or the ground that is moving. And you are afraid you are going to fall so then you just sit back down in the boat, and the boat stops wobbling and you feel safe. But there is something about the shore that draws you. The grass looks so soft and cool. You see flowers in the distance and trees. You have to try again, but when you stand up, the boat starts rocking again and everyone in the boat with you gets upset with you for rocking the boat. They tell you the ground is really quick sand and if you step on it you will sink into it and be lost forever. And what if other people follow you and they sink too? So you sit back down. But as much as you try to be content, and fit in and just go with the flow of things, you know it will never be the same. You were too close to stepping onto the shore. You were close enough to smell the flowers and hear the laughter of people in the distance.

So you try again. This time you are able to step onto shore, but you hold onto the side of the boat, just in case. Then you get nervous and get back into the boat. But now everyone moves to the other side and will not speak to you or look you in the eye. Now you feel sad because you know you can’t stay. While you were standing on the shore, you looked at the outside of the boat and saw the words written on it…’False Security’. It’s strange but from inside the boat, you couldn’t see those words. You were always told the boat was the only true, secure thing.

There is indeed a false sense of safety in never questioning or looking into what a church is teaching. The boat isn’t rocked, everything feels familiar and you know what to expect. But if that truth is actually error being taught, then that nice sense of security is false. It is an illusion.

That’s really something to think about.

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.

The Darkness of Spiritual Abuse Part 3

This is the continuation of thoughts about spiritual abuse based upon Becca Anderson’s and Jennifer Redcay’s book, Pushing Back the Darkness.

The forth point the authors make is as follows:

Listen to the Holy Spirit inside you. Jennifer’s initial reaction to the group leader was negative. Only when he began telling her things that fed her ego did she soften toward him. Listen to the warning voice inside you when it tells you to pull back, and think things through. If you are a Christian, you have the Holy Spirit of God living inside you, and can ask for wisdom and guidance. You won’t hear an audible voice but will often feel a pull in one direction or another. James 1:5 says, “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” If something you hear or are taught makes you uncomfortable, ask God to reveal the truth to you. Then give Him time and quiet to do so, reading the Word.

Many who have been involved in an unhealthy church can look back and realize there were warning signs in the beginning and/or along the way. In the beginning, we sometimes overrode those due to the excitement found at the church or because we did begin our relationship with God there. Sometimes they are pushed aside as we didn’t know much about the Bible, churches or God and considered the leadership in the church to be more knowledgeable. Then, as in the case of Jennifer, some were told things about themselves that felt good and built them up and thus the initial uneasy feelings were overridden.

As time went on, warning signs could be rationalized away. We had been pulled into the system and mindset. We fell into the thoughts that the pastor was to be obeyed, even if something wasn’t in the Bible, and that questioning what happened or was taught was akin to questioning God and being rebellious. And since rebellion was as the sin of witchcraft and we knew witches were not saved, well….we learned to suppress questions and any thoughts of something not being right.

While sometimes warning signs can be our own fears and insecurities, they are often something in which we need to pay attention. They should cause us to pause, take a step back, and objectively evaluate what is happening. If many of us would have done this, we never would have joined our unhealthy church or would have left sooner than we did.

If you are having feelings of uneasiness regarding your church, take heed. If you find it was just you and perhaps you misunderstood something, there is no harm done. If you find that there is something amiss, you may have saved yourself a great deal of harm and anguish. It never hurts to pause and reevaluate a situation.

The fifth and final point the authors make is:

Look at the fruit. Jesus said we could judge the soundness of a tree by the kind of fruit it produced: “For there is no good tree which produces bad fruit, nor, on the other hand, a bad tree which produces good fruit” (Luke 6:43). What fruit does the life of the person you are listening to exhibit? The fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). If the doctrines you are hearing do not lead to this kind of fruit, don’t consume them. In Jennifer’s case, the doctrines she was taught led to fear, self-loathing, exhaustion, inferiority and depression. The leader himself exhibited pride, control (over others, not himself), anger, violence, and an attraction to ungodly things. If the fruit is bad, the tree it comes from should be avoided.

The fruit in a person’s life is their actions, attitudes & character. It shows what is in the heart. It involves how a person is all the time and not simply during church activities.

Jesus spent time speaking of the Pharisees and his harshest words were directed toward them. While they tried to put on a good show outwardly, so all would look up to and revere them, Jesus told us that inside they were full of dead men’s bones. They praised God with their lips, but their hearts were far from him. They were hypocrites and yet they were the religious leaders of the Jews.

Unhealthy ministers and pastors will show their true fruit and you have a right to inspect that fruit and determine if it is good or bad. Bad fruit is involved when they teach things that benefit themselves, such as in persuading people to give more money or do favors or chores for the ministry. They may preach against certain things but not truly believe them and may be found breaking those rules. They may have one set of rules for the members and another for their family. If the ministry acts like they stand in God’s place and can pronounce all kinds of judgments against you, that is bad fruit.

Take some time and return to the Gospels and read about the problems Jesus had with the Pharisees. See how they were infuriated because Jesus healed someone on the Sabbath. See how they tried to trap him in conversations, were jealous of Jesus and wanted the best seats as they felt deserving of them. Consider how they prayed and looked down on the publican while praising themselves. Look at how they did things to be seen and praised of men. Do you see any of these same traits in the pastor?

If you or others are being treated harshly in a church, take a good long look at the fruit the pastor displays. Is it good or bad fruit? Is it what Jesus taught? Do they have the heart of a servant….or the ego of a personal kingdom builder?

The Darkness of Spiritual Abuse Part 1
The Darkness of Spiritual Abuse Part 2

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.

The Darkness of Spiritual Abuse Part 2

This is the continuation of thoughts about spiritual abuse based upon Becca Anderson’s and Jennifer Redcay’s book, Pushing Back the Darkness.

The third point the authors make is as follows:

Test those who say they speak for God. In 1 John 4:1, the Bible says, “Do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world.” You approach a salesperson with a degree of skepticism, expecting to hear things that might not be as good as they are described. It is even more vital to maintain healthy caution with regard to people who try to “sell” you ideas that sound biblical but may not be. If what is being said is true, it will stand up to scrutiny, and over time.

Anyone may make the claim to speak for God. We see it all around us today, from televangelists seeking your money to the small church where the pastor has complete control of the people. In Jennifer’s circumstance, it was a very small group that didn’t meet in a church and was operated by one man who claimed to speak for God. He was a liar and a fraud. We find the same in unhealthy churches, large and small. Some man or woman claims they speak for God and people follow. How can one determine if a person truly speaks for God? Obtaining a ministerial license or going to a seminary does not mean one has been called of God to operate a church or even preach.

So what are some ways that a person can know if the minister’s claim is true? First, what they teach will agree with the scriptures. If a pastor says God told him to sleep with you, for whatever reason, that is not God. In contrast, the scriptures certainly do not condone sexual relations with the spouse of another person.

If the minister tells you it is permissible to lie about something in order to defraud someone outside the group or to lure someone into the group, what can you find in the Bible that speaks about lying? If the pastor proclaims that you must tithe in order to be saved, what will the scriptures show if you study tithing? Any minister that teaches things contrary to the scriptures has not been speaking for God.

Don’t blindly accept what a minister teaches, even if in the past you have found something they taught lined up with scripture. Some ministers start out good and then stumble into false doctrine or an unhealthy group. You have a Bible, and if you don’t they are available online for free. We really have no excuse for not checking what is taught before accepting and believing it. If you choose not to, down the road you may find yourself caught up in a very unhealthy situation.

I want to share an article written around 1979 by former United Pentecostal Church minister Dan Lewis when he worked as a teacher at their endorsed Jackson College of Ministries. It appeared in the college’s newspaper, The Agape. It addressed questioning and it being okay to not always have answers. It created a firestorm for him at the time it was written. This is from his book The Journey Out of the United Pentecostal Church.

FAITH WITH A QUESTION MARK

To some people questions are disturbing! For them life is a logically consistent, systematic closed activity which can be defined in precise propositions. Questions are unnerving. Worse, questions without immediate answers are unthinkable and to be avoided at all costs. What cannot be rationally treated with finality is to be brushed off or ignored. Probing is regarded with suspicion. Options are nonexistent. Anything less than blind assent is labeled as dissent or even rebellion. Yet, is not such an approach to life, especially Christian life, somewhat naive and overly simplistic? Does not such an attitude portray insecurity rather than strength? Ultimately, does not this position describe uncertainty rather than faith? The man who is afraid of questions is usually a man who is fearful of his position!

It is my conviction that genuine faith must be a questioning faith! It must be an attitude toward God of seeking for truth and a contentedness in spite of unanswered questions. Faith cannot be founded only on empirical evidence, for what can be conclusively proven does not require faith. For this reason, God Himself must be approached on the level of faith. As the transcendent God, He must be pursued. He reveals himself, true, but He always remains far enough beyond our comprehension to beckon us onward in our quest for Him.

Some of the greatest luminaries in God’s assembly of saints were questioners. Job, David, Habakkuk, and others asked discerning and pointed questions, not only of their peers, but of God. Does God enjoy my suffering? If a man dies, will he again live? Is God righteous? How can YHWH use a people less righteous than Israel to judge his own people? In the case of Job, it was the trio with the ready answers who found error, while the sufferer with the unanswered questions found truth. One of the finest ways of discerning the depth of Jesus’ teaching is to observe the questions which he asked, answered, or in some cases left unanswered. Jesus never avoided sincere questions that were motivated by truth-seeking. Questions were not an embarrassment to Him.

In the New Testament, one confronts both “faith” and “the faith.” “Faith” is what is believed because of genuine encounter with God. “The faith” is what is received because of traditional and doctrinal correctness. Both are important! However, we live in a generation which feels comfortable in accepting “the faith” without necessarily having “faith.” A doctrinal heritage can be adopted and defended without a genuine encounter with Christ. “The faith” without “faith” is worth little. One of the prime reasons for such a bland form of Christianity is a reluctance or fear of asking questions. “The faith” can be blindly followed without questions. But real “faith” comes as God reveals Himself, and He reveals Himself to the searcher.

Occasionally, one’s approach to the Bible takes the following naive, omniscient form, as related by Bernard Ramm. “Dear Friends, I have read no man’s book. I have consulted no man-made commentaries. I have gone right to the Bible to see what it had to say for itself.” Yet, as Ramm further points out, although this may sound very spiritual, it is in reality a veiled egotism.

Faith presumes a transcendent God. He is not wholly transcendent, or we could never know him. On the other hand, he is not wholly within our grasp, else he would cease to be God for us. Faith is the first prerequisite for coming to God, yet it also leaves us with unanswered areas, for “faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.” In this life, “We see but a poor reflection” (NIV, 2 Co. 13:12). “We have this treasure in a fragile vase of clay….” (Weymouth, 2 Co. 4:7). We are constantly aware of our finitude and of God’s all-sufficiency. We are called to trust Him in the unanswered questions of life and eternity. If our faith is healthy and properly focused, unanswered questions are not an embarrassment but an incentive to continue our pursuit of Christ! As we struggle with a sensitive conscience in making ethical decisions, as we look inwardly in godly self-examination, as we view the needs of the world in light of the gospel, we have faith with a question mark! In the words of Jim Bishop, “I had wanted proof, something for my eyes or ears or hands. He wanted me to believe without it. Faith was what He required of me. And He never rested till I found it.”

The Darkness of Spiritual Abuse Part 1
The Darkness of Spiritual Abuse Part 3

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.

The Darkness of Spiritual Abuse Part 1

I am going to use Becca Anderson’s and Jennifer Redcay’s book, Pushing Back the Darkness, to share some thoughts about spiritual abuse. Near the beginning of the book, it says,

The heart of the issue in Jennifer’s experience of being drawn into a cult was her lack of discernment about the things the leader was telling her. It sounded so great to hear that he thought she had a “special ministry.” Without the tools of biblical discernment, she was unable to separate truth from lies.

Many unhealthy groups either claim God has something special for you or that they are, or have, something special that others do not. It is an exciting feeling to be part of something that appears to be special and important, especially in the spiritual realm. Sometimes people get so pulled up into this aspect, and because they may see some things happening, they may fail to discern what is really going on.

After this, the authors share some helpful points on how to discern truth from error. Below is the first point:

Read the Bible for yourself. Jennifer was a casual Christian. She was not familiar with the Bible and was therefore vulnerable to the leader twisting the Scriptures to suit his own purposes. Biblical knowledge doesn’t come overnight or from casual reading. It takes work. Read it systematically and regularly. If you are confronted with something that sounds like it “might” be from the Bible, or someone makes claims and backs them up with Bible verses, talk to someone more knowledgeable about the Bible (a friend, pastor, etc.) if you do not feel you have the ability yet to properly check out what you’re being told.

Some who become involved in unhealthy groups either have little to no knowledge of the Bible or when they do attempt to check the veracity of what they are being taught, they only know how to study the way the group has shown them. They may not read passages in their proper context. They may not consider the whole, or all, of what the Bible teaches on the subject. By only using the ‘proof texts’ supplied by the group and not reading them in their proper context, it may appear that the group’s teaching is true, even though it is in error.

That is what happened to me when I became involved in the United Pentecostal Church. I had very little Bible knowledge and did not know how to properly study it. The manner in which they pulled out a passage here and there, piecing them together, appeared to make sense and I was hooked and pulled in. Had I read everything in context and considered what the rest of the Bible taught, I would not have come to the same conclusion.

Later when one leaves, sorting through the teachings is an important aspect of healing. Some people shove this to the side, feeling it is unimportant or they are afraid to tackle it. I encourage everyone to take the time to look objectively at what the Bible actually says. You can know if a teaching is based upon the Bible or not. It takes time and it can be difficult to look at doctrines that the group has tied to your salvation and relationship with God. But if you do not tackle these, you may find yourself periodically in fear of something not true. You may forever believe that distorted view of God that was instilled into you. These things may well affect you at least off and on throughout your life if you do not seek these things out for yourself. Don’t allow that to happen.

The second point the authors share is:

Don’t be afraid to question what is said. When the apostle Paul was preaching in various cities, he praised the people of Berea because they didn’t take what he said at face value. They spent diligent time comparing it with the Scriptures they had and learned for themselves he was telling the truth. Anyone who insists you take his or her interpretation and not question it should set off alarm bells. Ask. Dig. Go to those who know more if you need to.

A person who teaches something true is not afraid of questioning. They are assured of their belief and are not insecure or needing to dominate others by commanding them to accept what they teach based on their word alone.

The unhealthy group often has an unwritten rule against questioning their practices and beliefs. A person usually discovers this by making the mistake of voicing a question and seeing how this is twisted into making them look bad and not having enough faith. You are to believe and follow the teachings because the leader said so. They are “watching for your soul” and “must give account” of you to God, so they say.

People all too often place ministers and pastors on a pedestal of sorts and in an unhealthy church this becomes especially dangerous as that will be taken advantage of. The pastor is seen as all knowing, even speaking as the voice of God. Disobedience to pastor is seen as disobedience to God. This places your spiritual welfare and destiny at stake in your mind. It is easy then to take this mindset and create a no questioning rule that can lead the person down all types of treacherous paths.

I cannot recall how many times since 1997 (We just celebrated the 21st anniversary of the spiritualabuse.org website this week.) where I have had people share that they were afraid to question and/or were afraid to voice their questions to anyone at their church. They often learned to push them aside or rationalize them away. “Well, the pastor was put there by God and he knows best.” “If the pastor is wrong, God will correct him.” “There must be something wrong with me that I am having these questions about what is being taught.”

Questions are normal. There is nothing wrong with questions. Jesus himself allowed people to question him. He did not forbid them and he did not berate or turn on people for doing so.

If your church is healthy, they should be open to questions. Leadership should not be insecure and turn you away or view you negatively because you questioned something taught. If you encounter anything else, then take a huge step back as you are likely in an unhealthy group.

The Darkness of Spiritual Abuse Part 2
The Darkness of Spiritual Abuse Part 3

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.

Top August 2018 Posts

And from the main website, the top ten pages:

Shaky Ground In The Pursuit Of Truth

The Darkness of Spiritual Abuse Part 3

The Darkness of Spiritual Abuse Part 2

The Darkness of Spiritual Abuse Part 1