Dear Church

Editorial Note: The following is reprinted with permission from Eleanor Skelton’s blog. It was originally published on May 1, 2017. 

This was originally posted by my friend Travis last year on his Instagram.

It’s a moving letter, explaining how a lot of people in the LGBT community feel about the church, loving it and just wanting to be loved and embraced in return.

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dear church,

there are millions of us. millions who just want you to understand.

millions who want to belong. millions who have been turned away where faith, hope, and love are said to abound.

we are LGBT+. we have many different struggles, pasts, and paths. but yet we are still human. we want to be a part of the things you are doing. we simultaneously feel the love of a savior and the condemnation of the saved— the latter is why many of us won’t be in your building on Sunday.

as we have grown and matured, we found our way through life, broken, alone, and silent. we didn’t talk to others about our struggles. we bottled them up so we could still be a part of the joy that comes from being around others who believe the same as us… but eventually, it’s not enough. we all come to a point where we cannot hide who we are any longer. we open up and tell the masses, while at the same time, your doors close.

your eyes no longer see the person you once saw, and without saying it, we know you see someone who is unworthy of your love, time, and affection.
when we come out, there is such a relief and joy that overcomes us.

but you feel it is your responsibility to quench that. you stomp on our joy until it is no longer breathing. our newfound hope and happiness is quite literally put to death inside us.

so… many of us choose to follow Jesus on our own, without the community of believers we once had and still need. it’s lonely here, but we have a savior who still listens and wants us to live and gently teaches us how to breathe when we forget, shows us the love and compassion we need to spread, and gives us everything we don’t deserve to have.

but church… we still want to belong with you. we still want to be a part of what you’re doing. we want to be in your building on Sunday, worshiping our Creator, hand-in-hand with you.

open your doors, open your eyes, love with your hearts, and please, don’t let us stay in the cold any longer. we’re freezing.

too many of us are falling apart without you. our silent cries for help are slowly but surely tearing us apart until there’s nothing left.

so i have one question for you, church:
will you love us?

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Author: Eleanor Skelton

Eleanor Skelton is a freelance journalist and educator. They were homeschooled kindergarten through senior year of high school within the high-demand subculture of fundamentalist Christianity during the 90s and 00s before completing their bachelor’s degree at the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs. Eleanor speaks about their experiences in leaving a cult to advocate for other survivors. They are currently enrolled in a journalism graduate program at the University of Alabama. They write about deconstruction and mental wellness at www.eleanorskelton.com.

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