My appearances on the blogs have been sporadic since moving to Oklahoma in late 2020. My focus has been with my son and daughter, who live over the state line in Kansas with their mom. When not at work or spending time with my kids, I am enjoying my days with my girlfriend.
My girlfriend and I watched an episode of Monster in My Family. The episode was about John Wayne Gacy, the infamous serial killer who was convicted of murdering 32 men and teen males. During an interview with a man who escaped Gacy, the survivor said something that triggered me and made me realize the parallels between Gacy and the former pastor of the abusive church I attended for over 16 years.
The survivor escaped an attempt by Gacy to handcuff him and managed to place the cuffs on the killer; Gacy told him in a laughing manner that he “was testing him.” This made me upset.
The founder of the church I attended was known to test people to see if they would be potential male partners. He tried to approach me but I turned him away. Still, the memory remained and after watching this show, I couldn’t help but notice similarities between my former pastor and the most infamous serial killer in US history.
Both men put on a good front. They were seen as upstanding, charitable people who gave the appearance of helping others in their community. Both were closet homosexuals who lived double lives. Both deceived many people by their actions. The one main difference was Gacy killed his victims. The pastor didn’t, but left lasting scars his victims lived with for a lifetime.
The families of both men reacted differently. Gacy’s sister, who was interviewed for the program, was deeply saddened and devastated when she realized what a monster her brother was. To my knowledge, the family of the founding pastor never attempted to mend bridges or reach out to his victims. They instead tried to keep everything quiet. They insisted he was a mighty man of God, so when I read the court records (transcripts are no longer available online due to the host website being shut down) I was deeply hurt. I was lied to and deceived as well as having been approached.
My girlfriend and I spoke for a while about the comparisons. I am grateful my former pastor didn’t try to go down the path John Wayne Gacy did, but watching the program and looking at those similarities confirmed he was a monster like the killer. Like the survivor in the interview, I too was glad to be able to escape.
Thank you for posting about your experiences, this took a lot of courage! I was raised ALJC and then we switched to UPC, now I believe in Jesus and go to a non-denominational church.