I was very bad today…

Hee hee but it felt so good!

People from my former church were out in droves today, and even late last night, at the “carnal-val” (as my former pastor would call it) downtown. It has really irked me that he repeatedly had people stand if they went even for an hour and rebuked them for going- even the ones that just went to get some good BBQ! For a couple of years I’ve either snuck over there when I didn’t think I’d see anyone or I’d stay away, even though I enjoy it. Well, this year I could go to the whole thing. And I saw droves of Pentecostals- even young teens walking around by themselves after 11:00 at night… which I wouldn’t recommend in or out of church.

I had reached maximum frustration levels when a bunch of them came to a Christian show and some walked out- from the front row- as the man was giving his testimony. But when one of the women from that church came up to me (she’s actually pretty nice and didn’t mean any harm) and started telling me that the church was involved in the Fourth celebration, having two yard sales at people’s houses, and a bake sale at Walmart, and something else too, I think. (I wasn’t paying much attention, but a yard sale or bake sale didn’t make them a part of anything.) I said, “Oh, wow, they’re everywhere.” She looked at me and said, “Where do you go to church now?”

Now granted, she probably was sincerely curious. She probably didn’t intend to get any other answer than the name of some church. But I kind of grinned and told her, “I do go. But I won’t say where. You know how it is. ‘Garbage goes to the garbage can.’ And no matter what people may say about me, I will NOT let someone call a good church a trash can, just because I go there.” She started to say it wouldn’t happen, then changed her mind and changed the subject. She was still friendly, but did change the subject to the weather.

(My former pastor gets up and announces, when someone leaves and goes to another church, that he’s found another “trash can” for the “garbage” to go to.)

I hope she’ll think about it. Because really, when they talk bad about others just because the “others” love, welcome and accept people and they don’t, they are telling on themselves.

Church Membership

Well, I’ve reached the point where I really want to be a PART of a church again. Not just to attend, but to be actively involved. I’m not sure what I’d like to do or how I’d like to be involved yet. I don’t really want to teach a class or be involved with the young people right now–I don’t want to face down someone with ideas I disagree with, and I know I have some beliefs that are completely at odds with most of the sorts of churches I’ve attended so far. (There are other churches that might be more in agreement with those beliefs, but I disagree with them on other fundamental issues.)

I’ve enjoyed going to Bible study at one church and services at another. I’d be tempted to go to Sunday School at one and church at another if I could find two whose service times matched enough that I could. Still, it would be so nice to feel needed at a church, an active part of the group, doing something with them to make a difference. I guess it’s really been years since I really felt that connection. And it’s been a couple since I wanted it.

So… I want to be part of a church that’s also involved in the community. Just cleaning the church because “God gave us this building” or whatever isn’t going to be enough for me. I want to do something that will benefit others in some way. There are churches in this area that are very involved in the community, almost to the exclusion of Jesus. There are others that treat every involvement as an evangelistic opportunity (to preach at them). I don’t agree with either of these thought processes. There are also many that don’t get involved in anything outside their walls. I think that’s very sad. Many are desperate for workers and dump more and more on anyone willing to help. That’s also sad.

I wonder how long I will be at a church, or whether or not I’ll feel comfortable enough to join. There are things I disagree with, like tithing, that have left several people scratching their heads. There are rumors my former church took everyone’s paychecks and gave them some money back to pay bills–so they shouldn’t be that surprised, I’m thinking. Still, if I wind up in a church that expects those types of commitments, there will be problems. On the other hand, the pastor of the church I’m attending would probably be very understanding and accepting of my disagreements and various odd beliefs as long as I didn’t promote them in his church. For now, I know we disagree on many things from Trinity to the age of the earth, but he doesn’t realize it. But I also know his wife may disagree on some of those points or at least on his way of presenting them. Obviously their disagreements haven’t been a salvational thing or a test of fellowship between them.

So I don’t know. I can go, I can help while I’m there, and then eventually I can leave. Or I can put down a few tentative roots and see how things go. The things I like about the church aren’t even really doctrinal. I like the stability–they agree on a few fundamentals and I share those beliefs. I like the friendliness, the proximity to my home, the fact that I’m accepted even if I haven’t joined and even when I blow their minds with some off-the-wall statement, the fact that I already know quite a few people from my previous job… (which is humorous. Apparently for all the rumors that I only hired people from FT, I actually hired more from this church, and had many MANY fewer problems from them!) I really like the fact that people say “thank you,” don’t push (physically or for me to do anything), and have some shared interests with me. I really REALLY like the fact that the pastor doesn’t think of himself above anyone else. No reserved parking place, even!

But are those reasons to join a church? How long would I stay, especially knowing that I disagree on some other things, or that I dislike a few things (the way they do studies based on people’s books, their focus on ‘witnessing’)? Should I trust them, even if so far I don’t see any really unhealthy signs? Am I just latching onto anyone right now, or falling into the same old trap of love bombing?

I don’t know the answers to these questions. A few I think I may know, but I’m still cautious.

Just thinking out loud.

Examining Teachings #5: Faith Without Works Is Dead

James 2:17 shares that faith without works is dead. This is true. But does this Bible passage mean what unhealthy churches say it does, in equating works with their list of things a Christian must do to be saved?

We are saved because of what Jesus did for us. If works could have saved people, then surely the law that God put into place for the Jews would have accomplished this. Yet the Bible is very vocal in that it did not.

Works, as mentioned in the book of James, are our actions. Faith without works is dead- not because works are essential to our salvation- but because if one has faith in God it will be evidenced by their actions. You can’t have real faith with nothing to show for it. However, with those actions there is no salvation made, kept or bought. They are simply a natural result of our faith in God.

Back in the early church, people wanted to add rules to be or keep saved. So the thought is nothing new. People seem to have a hard time accepting by faith that Jesus paid the price completely for their salvation. Jesus said it was finished and yet people keep wanting to add conditions to our salvation. So let’s take a look at the early church.

The second chapter of Galatians continues with Paul telling about his past. This is where he starts to show the Galatians the problem that false brothers caused with their untrue teachings.

Chapter 15 of Acts tells in more detail about what Paul shares happened in Jerusalem. I encourage you to take the time to read Acts 15. The men who came to Antioch from Judea, who were teaching that the Gentiles must be circumcised in order to be saved, had caused a sharp division. This division caused the believers to send a delegation of people, including Paul & Barnabas, to Jerusalem in order to consult with the apostles and other elders.

At the meeting, some proclaimed that the Gentiles must be circumcised and made to obey the law of Moses. There is discussion and then Peter addresses them all, reminding them that God made no distinction between the Jews and Gentiles and purified the Gentile hearts by faith. He then asks why they are trying to test God by making the Gentiles do what even the Jews could not follow. Peter stated that they are saved through the grace of God.

James later shares similar thoughts and they decide to write a letter to the believers in Antioch, Syria & Cilicia that says they will not burden the Gentiles with anything more than four requirements. These are listed in verse 29 of Acts 15.

Things haven’t changed and adding to do lists to salvation is hundreds upon hundreds of years old. The problem now is that Christianity has split itself into so many different groups that there is no longer one place for people to go in order to sort out what isn’t proper teaching. We can’t send a delegation to Jerusalem to consult with the apostles. But we DO have their letters and the scriptures to help us when we at first are not sure of some teachings. Nothing has changed since the day the apostles and elders sent out that letter many years ago….we are still saved by faith through the grace of God. Anything more than that is NOT the good news!

Galatians 2:4 Yet because of false brothers secretly brought in—who slipped in to spy out our freedom that we have in Christ Jesus, so that they might bring us into slavery (ESV)

This is a powerful illustration and shows how Paul knew what adding rules and laws to salvation would do. (Remember, he had been a Pharisee and would know all too well about added rules.) No wonder the Galatians had lost their joy (you will see this in chapter 4). They changed from freedom in Christ to being in slavery.

Slavery. That is what your faith will turn into if you make the change from following God by faith to trying to make yourself righteous by any works or trying to be saved, or stay saved, by any works.

In Romans Paul shared that we did not receive a spirit that makes us a slave again to fear…but that we received the Spirit of Sonship. (Romans 8:15)

And that is what rule following is all about- YOU. The focus shifts from Christ in you to what YOU do and don’t do. You turn from being justified by faith in Jesus to seeking to be justified by your actions. And no matter how much you try and how many rules you follow, not one soul will ever be justified by these deeds.

And, no, this isn’t at all about easy believism or greasy grace. It isn’t about living however you want. It is about a changed heart. A heart where God writes his laws inside us, where it isn’t about following a list of rules, but doing what we do because we love God and wish to please him.

Examining Teachings #1: Drunk In The Spirit?
Examining Teachings #2: Jezebel and Shamefaced
Examining Teachings #3: Peculiar And Separate
Examining Teachings #4: What Must I Do To Be Saved?
Examining Teachings #5: Faith Without Works Is Dead

How ‘The Village’ illustrates isolated, fear-based homeschooling

Editorial Note: The following is reprinted with permission from Eleanor Skelton’s blog. It was originally published on December 13, 2015.

I grew up in the Village.

The first time I watched M. Night Shyamalan’s 2004 film, my head hurt and one of my roommates asked me if I was okay. I didn’t have words. Sometimes I find those books, those films that resonate so strongly with my own experience, that the bittersweet rush of knowing takes my breath away.

The Village became the movie that I showed all of my friends who’d been affected by a cult environment. As they started to question their high control group, I’d find a way to sneak a movie night with them.

It became our movie, something that we refer to when discussing our past.

There’s a few reasons for this:

1.) The whole thing was manufactured like a utopia to protect innocence.

Many of our parents chose homeschooling to create a new generation, protected from negative influences and intellectually superior to the rest of the world. But our parents grew up attending public schools, something we never experienced.

The elders in the Village came from the Towns, but none of their children can remember the outside world. This is the only life they know. Ivy Walker’s father says in a moment of crisis, “What was the purpose of our leaving? Let us not forget it was out of hope, of something good and right.”

When I was young, my dad told me his middle school classmates used to throw small knifes at each other in the playground and my mom remembers hash being passed around in bags around her Houston high school in the 70s. They and others who grew up in the 60s counterculture movement wanted a better life for their children and believed that removing them from the public schools was the answer.

Just like our parents often told us they’d done things they regretted growing up and we had a unique opportunity to be different, the elders in the Village keep a black box of memories, “so the evil of my past can be kept close and not forgotten.”

Mrs. Clark’s sister, Mrs. Hunt’s husband, and Mr. Walker’s father all died through violence and tragedy. Edward Walker tells his daughter Ivy, “It is a darkness I wished you would never know. There is not one person in this town who has not been so shaken that they questioned the value of living at all.” Ivy says, “I am sad for you, Papa, and for the other elders.”

2.) They sought protection from evil in the ways of the past. 

In The Village, a history professor decides to take a group of people and recreate 1840s pioneer America. In the 90s conservative Christian homeschooling movement, our moms taught us to sew our own clothes and we all wore homemade skirts and dresses.

We watched movies like Sheffey about itinerant preachers in the last century produced by Bob Jones University Films and read reprints of Victorian literature like Elsie Dinsmore and A Basket of Flowers from Lamplighter Press and Vision Forum.

I wore one of my pioneer dresses nearly every day when I was 12-14 and pretended that I lived in the colonial era. I checked out and devoured every historical book on the colonial period and Civil War that my mom would allow from the local library.

A friend once said, “I get why they wanted this life for you guys, they meant well. But it turned out to be the Little House on the Prairie fan convention from hell.”

3.) They used euphemisms and emotional repression to ward off what they most feared. 

Growing up homeschooled, we didn’t get sex education. Purity culture often adopted a “see no sexy things, hear no sexy things, speak no sexy things” approach. One of my friends never heard the words penis and vagina until college. I was told that dancing was basically “a vertical expression of a horizontal desire,” something to be avoided.

This kind of approach extended to anything considered “evil” or a “bad influence,” including peers, extended family members, and movies or TV shows with magic or profanities. Often, the avoidance became obsessive over time. The circle of safety was ever narrowing.

The settlers in The Village use phrases like “Those We Don’t Speak Of” to refer to the creatures in Covington Woods, or “The Old Shed That is Not To Be Used” for a shack on the edge of town. Red is the bad color, yellow is the safe color. In the opening scenes, two girls sweeping on a porch run out to the yard to uproot and bury a red flower.

Later, Ivy tells Noah, a young man with a mental disability, “This color attracts Those We Don’t Speak Of. You ought not to pick that color berry anymore.” When the villagers find skinned carcasses of livestock, the schoolchildren assume, “Those We Don’t Speak Of did it.”

The light as well as the darkness in humanity becomes repressed, and this affects romantic attraction. Ivy knows Lucius cares deeply for her but won’t act on it. She tells him, “Sometimes we don’t do things we want to do so that others won’t know we want to do them.”

There’s a parallel scene when Lucius tells his mother that Mr. Walker is in love with her.

“He hides, too. He hides his true feelings for you.”
“What makes you think he has feelings for me?”
“He never touches you.”

When Ivy chooses to travel through the woods in spite of the creatures, the other young men sent to protect her are too afraid to go against the rules. “Why have we not heard of these rocks before, why is it that you wear the cloak of the safe color? I cannot go with you, it is forbidden.”

We homeschoolers also had arbitrary rules and standards, always shifting according to the preferences of our authority figures. We were taught to “abstain from all appearance of evil” (1 Thess 5:22) and that “it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret” (Eph 5:12).

Just like in many homeschool communities, Noah’s mental illness is dealt with by only natural remedies. Noah dies a monster, which seems to enable stigmatization of mental illness.

Noah becomes the example of what not to be for the other villagers. He becomes the creature, one of Those We Don’t Speak Of. He embodies the darkness that they sought to eliminate from their little world.

“Your son has made our stories real. Noah has given us a chance to continue this place if that is something we still wish for.”

But the one line that echoes in my mind when I think of how I grew up is this:

“I tell you this so you will see some of the reasons for our actions. Forgive us for our silly lies, Ivy, they were not meant to harm.”

No, it was not meant to harm. But it did.

Just Being Neighborly

I was reminded of the Good Samaritan today…

This morning on my way into church, there was a vehicle with a flat tire. I told an usher (I don’t usually go there) and he looked out, shrugged and said he didn’t know whose it was. He didn’t go out of his way to find out, either. I told another, and he didn’t help either. After church I waited around. The vehicle didn’t leave… most people did. I left a note under the wiper blade and went back in one last time to ask if it belonged to a friend of mine who lives out in the country, knowing she wouldn’t be able to change it or air it up where she was headed. The pastor was the first one I saw, and I asked if he knew anything about the vehicle. Immediate concern, and then ‘I hope it’s not…’ He looked out, immediately thanked me and went out to look at the tire. It apparently belonged to someone who was struggling with some things. If we’d let them drive off, they might have had to pay for a tire they couldn’t afford, and more than that, they might have wondered if anyone cared. As it was, they came out to find the pastor and a deacon down on their knees looking for the nail in the tire and (I’m guessing) offering to fix it for them for free. Wish those things happened much more often.

I’m still sorting through that. I’ve been debating going regularly to this church. Frankly, the services don’t impress me, but it’s only about three blocks from my house, services are decent, I have several friends there, and… well, several reasons that don’t make it a good church but don’t make it bad either. I like the pastor. He seems to have his head screwed on straight. He listens and is involved but doesn’t put himself forward. If I hadn’t gone back in that last time to check on my friend, and he hadn’t responded as he did, I probably wouldn’t have gone back more than once more. The others I asked really didn’t seem to care. One had even forgotten about it when I went back to ask if he’d found the owner. But his response and the deacon’s (my friend’s husband)… I could live with a church with that kind of heart.

Then too, I was embarrassed because I left after I knew someone would take care of it. But there’s nothing I could have done if I’d stayed. “Yup, it’s flat alright.” They knew that. My extra input on that matter wouldn’t have been helpful at that particular moment. So I know that was a kick back from my former church. I actually TALKED to a pastor (big no-no for me right now) and then I left him in the dirt on the pavement to fix it himself and drove off (which my former pastor would have frowned on if it had been him).

The parable came to mind… who’s your neighbor? I feel I did what God wanted me to do–and more than that, maybe saw what He wanted me to see, whether I decide to go there or not. Just knowing there are people out there who aren’t offended that you don’t do more, take things in stride, and want to help people was a huge benefit to me.

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