Oh, I know the pat answers. You just aren’t listening. You just need to have faith. We have the Holy Ghost. I’ve given those answers enough times in my life. I know them well, but they don’t work for me anymore.

In the Bible, there is the “400 years of silence”–the time between the last prophet and Jesus’ birth. Yet even during that 400 years, there were things happening and indications of God’s presence with his people. Those things just aren’t recorded as books in our Bibles.

But now… for 2000 years, there’s been silence. Through inquisitions and crusades and witch hunts, through false teaching and koolaid, sex scandals and embezzlement. Yes, surely God is with us. But the overall silence is sometimes deafening.

We were taught in my former church that if the leader was wrong, God would take care of it. We were not to confront, not to question… and never to leave. So we stayed, to our own hurt and to the hurt of our families. Finally some things were brought to light and the man who taught that disappeared. Yet whether that was God or not, is not mine to answer. What I do wonder is if he did step in, why didn’t he step in sooner, so that fewer people would have been hurt? And if we are Jesus’ hands and feet, why didn’t we move to do something to stop what was happening ourselves? I know we were scared and confused and in a strong delusion of sorts, believing him even as he slandered God, yet still, I wish we had done something.

Maybe God is silent because we are. Maybe he’s waiting on us. Or maybe he’s just silent. I know I’ve tried to listen, even been desperate to hear, and have longed for the time, long past, when I thought I could hear his voice. The silence is deafening.