The Herdsman, the Maiden and the Coyotes: A Fable

Editorial Note: The following is reprinted with permission from Eleanor Skelton’s blog. It was originally published on January 17, 2015. This story has also been reprinted on the 412teens.org blog under the title “The Herdsman, the Maiden & the Coyotes: A Fable.”

Sometimes, she danced with the wind, her blue skirt swishing to synchronize with its rhythm.

One day the whimsy of her dance led her to a crater blistered with brambles and dagger-length thorns. She stumbled over the precipice into the midst of them. Her dress tore, and her skin scratched.

A herdsman from the village nearby heard a child crying. He looked down and saw her caught in the briars. He leaped down into it, wincing as the thorns tore at him, but he struggled toward the girl.

When he reached her, he half-smiled and reached out to pull her up. But she was crying so much that his face was blurred, and all she could see was the blood covering his clothes and hands. Shrieking, she drew back from him, wounding herself further.

Finally, she let herself be carried out of the thicket. The herdsman tried to soothe her, singing her a lullaby. All she could hear was the painful undertone in the song.

By the time they returned to the dandelion field, the girl had cried herself to sleep. The herdsman laid her down under a tree, cleaned her scratches with a damp cloth, and kissed her forehead. And he went back to tend his flock.

The girl awakened the next morning. Glancing at her scabs, she sobbed again, remembering the herdsman’s wounds. She sat in the field all day staring at the dandelions. She had lost the dance.

In the evening, she crept back to the edge of the valley, grasping at the brambles.

She separated out the thorns from the stems of the plants, clenching them in her fist.

If she hadn’t fallen into the crater yesterday, she wouldn’t have cried out, and if she hadn’t cried out, the herdsman wouldn’t have come, and if the herdsman hadn’t come, he wouldn’t have bled. It was all her fault.

She used the thorns like claws across her arms. Surely she must hurt, because she hurt him. Only her own blood could satisfy this.

Every night for years, she returned to the crater. The bleeding was never enough. The craving to satiate the guilt was as fresh each night as the one before. Sometimes the coyotes came out to follow, nipping at her heels, licking up the warm blood dripping from her wounds.

She thought she must be an outcast, even though the villagers never mentioned it to her. A word or sharp look made her tremble, thinking they blamed her. Surely everyone knew what she had done to the beloved herdsman.

She sometimes would see him or other men leading their flocks over the distant misty hills. He tried to approach her on a street corner a few times, but she shuddered and turned away, lest she see his blood. The blood. She could never forget the blood.

But the coyotes never left. They became the girl’s companions when she felt like the village hermit. They walked with her when no one else would.

The girl grew into a maiden. A lonely maiden, wearing a ragged blue gown that barely covered the dried clotted mess covering her arms and legs.

One night at the crater, she returned to the top with her fist full of brambles. A coyote was waiting for her. She could smell him. He would lick her wounds before he’d let her pass by. She wondered when he’d just lunge for her throat and the pain would end. Coming over the edge, lantern light fell across her form and she shrank back into the shadows.

“Little girl.”

The voice.

“Little girl. Don’t be afraid. You aren’t lost, are you?”

She trembled and clenched her teeth. Of all the villagers, he especially she could never face. Not with her scars.

He reached down for her hand.

“Come on. It’s all right.”

The coyote snarled in the brush nearby.

“Wait here.” She heard his sandals crackle against the dry grass, and the swish of his club.

His footsteps returned, and he peered over the ledge down at her. “It’s safe now.” He smiled.

She dared herself to glance into his eyes. “Thank you.” A girlish whimper.

She let him pull her up into the lamplight. They both sat down, each looking off into the distance. Her gaze wandered to the herdsman sitting beside her, to his rough cotton robe, to his ragged sleeves.

His arms. So many white echoes of pain. But just echoes. No blood.

Without thinking, she traced one of them lightly with her finger, then drew back. “I’m sorry.”

He turned to her. His eyes twinkled in the dim light. “No need to apologize.”

Pulling her arm closer to his, he drew it into the light. “Those look painful,” he said as he traced the dark crimson lines on her arms.

One wet drop fell onto the lap of the blue gown.

“You know,” he said, “If a little girl fell into the crater tomorrow, I would pull her out.”

The sob couldn’t be stifled. She looked down, eyes memorizing every hole and rip in her dress. His arm wrapped around her shoulder like a winter’s cloak, warm and safe.

“I carry my own lambs high above the thorns when I pull them out of the crater. I can handle being scratched, but I don’t want them to bleed,” he said.

Tears trickled, refusing to be shoved back. At last, she relaxed and lay against his shoulder.

He plucked a dandelion head and handed it to her. They blew it out together.  And dandelion seeds floated past in the moonlit breeze, the wind gathering the fluff up into the stars.

He spoke again, his hand held out towards her. “Would you like to dance?”

Hillary Clinton Accused of Possession

Note:  This is NOT a political post. In no way am I supporting a candidate, trying to influence your vote, or change the way you think about any politician or political party.)

A short time ago, a friend of mine posted a video [link no longer works, so it was removed] on Facebook of Hillary Clinton having an awkward moment. I watched the video and didn’t think much of it. I figured that people who live 24/7 in the public eye are bound to have many weird moments that are caught on tape.

In an attempt to bring some smiles to those in the conversation under the post, I stated, “I wonder how long it will be before someone starts saying it’s a form of demonic possession?”

My question was answered the very next day when an Apostolic preacher posted [link from Rayford Strange no longer works] his thoughts on the video, calling it demonic.

Did Hillary Clinton have a seizure? I don’t know. Did she have a strong reaction to the noise of the reporters surrounding her? I have no idea, but it’s possible. Was this a sign of some sort, signaling to everyone that she has, at some point, been possessed by something demonic? I don’t see how that is possible. In fact, why would one even think that in the first place?

I’ve tried to understand how this episode was determined to be “demonic.” If it’s demonic, where is the evidence?  I read his thoughts on the subject, but I can’t agree with him. I don’t see what he sees. Could it be if one wants something to look demonic, eventually, he is going to find something that fits his definition of demonic?

Why do things which are different and unusual come under attack as being something demonic? Why is there so much misunderstanding within the Apostolic movement?

Apostolic leaders have been known to tell a person there is “demonic influence” in his or her life, especially when directed to young people. To them, it seems anything could become a “demonic influence,” but some of the more common examples are art, music, people of other cultures and their heritages, people who look different, family members who haven’t been born again via Acts 2:38, movies, comic books, politicians, even certain church members – and the emphasis seems to be on that “evil” influencing members away from their churches.

Much of this thinking may come from the acceptance of bad theology. People may have a better understanding of the traditions within their churches than an understanding of actual scripture. Sadly, many traditions will also cause people to look at illness in the wrong way. Have you ever seen someone having a seizure being prayed for, then hear someone say, “I rebuke this demon!” while praying?

I have. It’s scary. People can really be hurt from this. In some instances, the heart of the individual was in the right place; sadly, the head wasn’t. Bad theology is bad theology, no matter how you look at it.

Cult ministries purposely over-emphasize “demonic influence/possession.” Why? This is one way the spiritually abusive leader will use fear to control and/or to keep a person “safe” within the confines of their influence and “ministry.” Talking about demons and evil can be a scary subject. Corrupt leaders will use that fear to influence people into doing what they want. Sad, but true.

Cult ministries also use this fear in an attempt to limit one’s ability to grow intellectually. A constant theme within this very movement is how often leaders talk about the spiritual danger of seeking higher education in public universities, and sadly, even Christian universities outside of their own theology.

Now, a difficult thing for me to process among all of this bad teaching on “demonic influence” is that I do believe in demons. The Bible talks about them. I don’t know of any other way to look at and understand specific scriptures within our Bible. I do believe there is some sort of evil that works against people of faith – but, I often don’t see it the way the “spiritual elite” see it.

Getting back to the Facebook post above, it’s my opinion that the author is using “demonic influence” as means to sway voters away from supporting Hilary Clinton in this upcoming Presidential campaign.

Audible Gift Memberships

Exorcism

*WARNING: This contains material which may be triggering to some*

There was one side affect to being “possessed” that I liked. When my Mom was addressing me (and not the demon) she was more kind than she’d been in a long time. Also, she paid more attention to me than she had in a long time. Watching over me took priority over her best friend’s daughter for the first time since they came into our lives. Of course, she was watching me and spending time with me to “make sure the demon in me didn’t hurt anyone”, but it was still nice to have my Mother back. Because of this, I started lying. They would ask me if the demon was speaking to me or if I was feeling rage, confusion, etc. and I lied and said yes because I wanted to keep receiving attention from my Mom and preference over the her friend’s daughter. As I kept saying yes to everything they asked me about what was going on with me, they decided they were going to have to cast it out as soon as possible. I don’t remember what the reason was for ever waiting.

So one weekend we go to Mom’s best friend’s house for the specific purpose of getting the demon cast out of me. My parents, Mom’s best friend and her husband, and their teenage daughter all participated. Their son wasn’t considered “spiritually stable” enough to help since the demon in me had come from him. They took me into a back room of their house, the farthest away from neighbors. They said that we might get loud and they didn’t want anyone calling the cops thinking that someone was getting hurt.

When we got in the room, they put me in the middle of the floor and gathered around in a circle. I can’t remember a lot of what was said, but there was a lot more describing of what the demon looked like, what it was “saying” to them about me, etc. At one point, they made me lay down and they each took an arm and a leg and held it tight to the floor. They said that if the demon got mad, it might give me extra strength. Sometimes I pushed my arms and legs against them to see if I did have super-human strength, but I was never stronger than my 9 year old self. Ha.

This went on for hours, my Dad got disgusted pretty quick and left the room. He was still pretty emotionally disturbed over his brother dying recently (which I wrote about here) and didn’t like what he was seeing them do to me. They also had just asked me if I’d had thoughts of suicide, and like I had been doing lately, I answered yes even though it wasn’t true. There was a lot of screaming at the demon to come out, and sometimes all the people holding me down and yelling in my face these awful descriptions got so scary that I screamed. They then said that “it was close”, so I started screaming more to try and bring this awful episode to an end. I don’t remember what was the deciding factor, but eventually someone yelled “It’s out!!!” and then my Mom grabbed me and hugged me.

I was so happy, I thought that I wouldn’t be scared at night anymore in my bedroom. I thought the demon talk and visions would be over. Unfortunately, I was wrong.

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A New Family In Our Church

*WARNING: This contains material which may be triggering to some*

Eventually, Dad came back home and back to church. The painful questions from members stopped after awhile, and things were pretty good. Then a new family came to church.

It was a husband and wife and two teenage kids. The husband and wife were preachers, and the teenagers (a boy and a girl) both claimed that they’d been ‘called to preach’. About half the church welcomed them with open arms, the other half stayed aloof from them. Friendly, but not friends. I remember my Great-Grandma (who helped build the church building) saying that her spirit just didn’t recognize their spirit.

My mom and the mom of this family became ‘best friends’. We started spending a LOT of time with them. Our whole family would go spend the weekend at their house almost every weekend, and during the week they were at our house all the time. Once again, things started changing.

The woman in this family told Mom how they’d all been Satanists before coming to God, and that she believed occult was infiltrating the church. They started buying tons of occult/witchcraft instruction books and comparing the practices outlined in these books to things happening in the church. Their conclusion was – demons were running rampant in the church and possessing the believers of the Truth in an attempt to thwart God’s Oneness revival.

My family was always the first ones to arrive at the church building, lots of times the doors weren’t even unlocked yet when we got there. This other family started joining us in arriving extra early. Mom and this woman and her daughter would go into a Sunday School room and ‘pray’. Often you could hear them ‘praying’ all over the church, other times there was silence. A few times Dad asked me to go in and get Mom for one reason or another. The times I went in they were sitting at a table talking, and stopped immediately and Mom angrily asked why I interrupted them. After a couple of those instances, they started locking the door.

Some things from this time that I heard them state: They could literally ‘see’ demons running around inside the church building. They could see demons when they looked in the eyes of some of the male preachers in the church. The pastor was ‘obviously’ demon possessed. The people who didn’t come to church as early as them to pray were ‘spiritually bound’ by evil, if not actually possessed.

Gossip started about their ‘prayer sessions’ and the questioning of me started just like it did when my parents had separated. “Why does your Mom go in there to pray with those women? Why can’t she pray out in the open? Why do they spend so much time in there? If they are actually talking to God, there’s no reason they should have to lock the door.” People seemed afraid to say these things to my Mom and the other women, so they said them to me, a child about 8 years old. Several of the men in the church started saying things like “locking the door gave an appearance of homosexuality more than prayer”. At one point the pastor actually asked them to stop going in there. They refused. He didn’t feel that it was right to “force” people into things, and didn’t want to start making rules about use of the church building, so nothing else official was done beyond his personal request to them to stop.

Mom’s behavior at home got more and more strange. She started giving away my things to the teenage girl in this family. I was tall for my age and she was short, so even though we were about 10 years apart we were pretty much the same size. A lot of times when I got new clothes she would ‘suggest’ that I give them to this girl. (Side note – we were poor, and new clothes were a rarity so I not only wanted, but needed to keep them.) Also, mother-daughter time had ceased to exist. This girl was 18 and out of school, so she spent a lot of weekdays at our house. Mom would send me outside to do my homeschooling with instructions to watch over my 4 year old sister at the same time. On days that they didn’t come over, she spent hours on the phone with the girl and her mother.

If my Dad, my sister, or myself complained, we were hindering her ministry. She would state things such as “I have a call from God to ‘clean up the church’ and if you stand in my way you’ll be judged with blasphemy. Do you want to go to hell and burn forever? Is that what you want? You kids don’t go bother your Dad at his job, don’t bother me while I’m doing mine.”

I started to act out against these things. Since I was a child, I acted out in very childish ways. I cried and would run away and hide whenever Mom would announce that we were seeing these people again. I intentionally started messing up my schoolwork hoping to force Mom to spend time with me. I tried to run away from home. I spent as much time at relatives houses as I possibly could. Soon, I noticed Mom and these other women watching me with a look of suspicion and hatred that scared me – badly.

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