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Ah, yes, Jesus warned about wolves in sheeps’ clothing. Wolves seem to have evolved since the Bible. Many have stopped masquerading as sheep. They instead call themselves shepherds, leading people back to their lairs.

John 10:

14“I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me, 15just as my Father knows me and I know the Father. So I sacrifice my life for the sheep. 16I have other sheep, too, that are not in this sheepfold. I must bring them also. They will listen to my voice, and there will be one flock with one shepherd.

I’m thankful I have a Shepherd, a great shepherd who has already given everything for me.

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A visitor to my blog once asked if forgiving someone for an offense means you must act as though it never happened, especially when the issue in question involves physical or emotional abuse. My answer to this was no, and here’s why.

‎I don’t believe that ‎Matthew 6:14-15 means one essentially has to roll over, play dead and let the offender have their way with them. However, it can hinder our personal walk with God and essentially result in the other person’s abuse or nastiness controlling your life.

In the comment regarding a post I’d made about forgiveness (scroll down to RandomlyLostandFound‘s comment to see the dialogue), I offered the following advice: “I had to finally reach a place where I bore no ill will towards the person in question, and actively prayed for God to restore whatever was broken in their life that was behind the behavior.”

I’m still finding this advice relevant, regardless of who the persistent offenders are. I can decide to no longer bear ill will towards them, and therefore make sure they have no ability to infringe on my personal happiness.

There are times when you may decide that certain people, for the sake of your physical, emotional or spiritual health simply cannot have a place in your life anymore. Yes, that is okay – by walking separate paths from each other, you are making the choice to live your life in a way that keeps their “drama” from impacting you.

I feel that we must still acknowledge the existence of people that do hurtful things and pray for their release from their the harm they cause. However, we must still look to what is ahead of us – anything less diminishes the abundant life Jesus promised.

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Dear pastor: You call yourself a shepherd. I wonder…

I love cats. I’ve cared for well over 50 at various times. They aren’t all mine; if I see a cat that is hurt or hungry, I take care of it. That’s who I am. Would you do the same for people who attend other churches or don’t attend at all, unless you thought you’d convince them to come to your church? I can’t imagine a real shepherd seeing a lamb caught somewhere and not taking it with him back to the fold, looking for its shepherd and returning it to its flock. But many pastors won’t do that. Those that do… I also can’t imagine a shepherd realizing that lamb had been abused and sending it back to an abusive shepherd. There are pastors who would.

I love cats. But the neighbor has a dog. The dog loves to chase the cats, but I don’t hate the dog. He’s doing what comes naturally to him, and though I’ll try to deter him from the cats, I wouldn’t hurt him. Most pastors I’ve known quickly label people “goats” and push them away, even deliberately hurt them, saying it’s “for the safety of the flock.” Goats have their benefits, though, and tend to get along fairly well with sheep from what I’ve seen. So many pastors who call themselves “shepherds” unfortunately don’t know sheep from goats, and kick the ones they label goats away. I’ve never known someone who cares for animals to only care for one type of animal and be mean to other kinds. How can a pastor do that to people?

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This giveaway is now closed.

We have given away books for years as part of the spiritualabuse.org ministry and this will be our second large one via this blog for 2017. This is your chance to receive one or more free books on various issues. After making your request, be sure to respond to my email requesting your mailing address if I do not already have it. The last giveaway we had someone request books but never responded. This keeps material from others.

The first people with a USA mailing address who respond will receive their choice of books at no charge to them. (Unfortunately, it is cost prohibitive to mail these books outside of the USA. Canadians with a USA mailing address are welcome to request books.) To respond, just leave a comment for this post. If you are unsure what any book is about, the links will take you to Amazon where you may read their description and reviews.

Up for grabs are several used books and DVDs.

1. Four paperback copies of Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. (One has some highlighting.) TWO TAKEN
2. One paperback copy of Love Is A Choice: Recovery for Codependent Relationships by Hemfelt, Minirth & Meier. (Has some underlining.) TAKEN
3. Two hardback copies of Boundaries by Henry Cloud & John Townsend. (One has some markings.) ONE TAKEN
4. One paperback copy of Cults In Our Midst by Margaret Singer. (Has highlighting.) TAKEN
5. One CD MP3 NIV Audio New Testament Dramatized by Faith Comes By Hearing.
6. One hardback copy of The Church Awakening by Charles Swindoll.
7. One hardback copy of The Jesus I Never Knew by Philip Yancey. TAKEN
8. One paperback copy of The Unauthorized Guide To Choosing a Church by Carmen Renee Berry.
9. One paperback copy of Testament The Bible Odyssey.
10. One hardback copy of Overcomers Outreach A Bridge To Recovery by Bob & Pauline Bartosch. TAKEN
11. One hardback copy of Naves Topical Bible. TAKEN
12. Two hardback copies of Authority Abusers by G.G. Bloomer. TAKEN
13. One hardback copy of Holy Bible New Revised Standard Version.
14. One paperback copy of The Kingdom Of The Cults Limited Edition by Walter Martin. TAKEN
15. One paperback copy of Since Nobody’s Perfect…How Good Is Good Enough by Any Stanley. TAKEN
16. Two paperback copies of Neo-Phariseeism by David Wasmundt (former UPC minister) TAKEN
17. One paperback copy of the 2009 United Pentecostal Church Manual. (only sold to ministers) TAKEN
18. Two paperback copies of The Case For Easter by Lee Strobel. TAKEN
19. One paperback copy of Don’t Let The Jerks Get The Best Of You by Paul Meier. TAKEN
20. One paperback copy of The Year Of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs.
21. One paperback copy of Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy by Susan Forward. TAKEN
22. One paperback copy of If You Had Controlling Parents by Dan Neuharth. TAKEN
23. One paperback copy of What’s So Amazing About Grace by Philip Yancey. TAKEN
24. Three paperback copies of The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. TAKEN
25. One paperback copy of The Art Of Forgiving by Lewis B. Smedes. TAKEN
26. One paperback copy of Good ‘N Angry: How To Handle Your Anger Positively by Les Carter. (some markings) TAKEN
27. One paperback copy of Healing Of Memories by David A. Seamands. TAKEN
28. One paperback copy of The Wounded Heart by Dan B. Allender (Child Sexual Abuse) TAKEN
29. One paperback copy of Healing Your Emotional Self by Beverly Engel. TAKEN
30. One paperback copy of More Jesus, Less Religion by Stephen Arterburn & Jack Felton. TAKEN
31. One paperback copy of Baker’s Harmony Of The Gospels. TAKEN
32. One paperback copy of Changes That Heal Workbook by Henry Cloud.
33. One hardcover copy of Under The Banner Of Heaven by Jon Krakauer (Mormon).
34. One hardcover copy of Get Out Of That Pit Devotional Journal by Beth Moore. TAKEN
35. One hardcover copy of Counterfeit Revival by Hank Hanegraaff. TAKEN
36. One hardcover copy of The Narcissist Next Door by Jeffrey Kluger. (some underlining) TAKEN
37. One hardcover copy of What’s So Amazing About Grace by Philip Yancey. TAKEN
38. One hardcover copy of Prayer: Does It Make A Difference by Philip Yancey. (some markings)
39. One hardcover copy of The Truth Book by Joy Castro. (Jehovah’s Witness Abuse)
40. One hardcover copy of Living With Your Dreams by David A. Seamands. TAKEN
41. One hardcover copy of The Emotionally Healthy Church by Peter Scazzero. TAKEN
42. One hardcover copy of More Jesus, Less Religion by Stephen Arterburn & Jack Felton. TAKEN
43. One hardcover copy of Vine’s Expository Dictionary. TAKEN
44. One KJV Thompson Chain Reference Study Bible. (Has some markings and water damage near the back.)
45. One DVD of The Story Of Two Kings/Where Did The Bible Come From.
46. One DVD of Cult Explosion: Cults Exposed By Those Who Escaped (Walter Martin). TAKEN
47. One paperback copy of The Relief Of Imperfection by Joan C. Webb. TAKEN
48. One hardcover copy of The Gentle Art Of Verbal Self Defense by Suzette Haden Elgin.
49. Kidz Bible Audio Bible For Kids NIRV MP3 Format – new.
50. One hardcover copy of Love Is A Choice: Recovery for Codependent Relationships by Hemfelt, Minirth & Meier. TAKEN
51. One hardcover copy of Zondervan Handbook To The Bible.
52. One hardcover copy of All The Apostles Of The Bible by Herbert Lockyer. TAKEN
53. One hardcover copy of The Works of Philo Complete And Unabridged. TAKEN
54. One hardcover copy of Handbook of Denominations in the United States Ninth Edition by Frank S. Mead. TAKEN
55. One paperback copy of Surviving The Shadows by Bob Delany (post-traumatic stress). TAKEN

The first people with a USA mailing address who respond will receive their choice of book(s) at no charge to them. To respond, just leave a comment on this post. Please understand that comments require approval unless you have previously commented. So while it may look like you are first, there may be someone ahead of you whose comment is pending. Be sure to use your actual email address when setting up to comment as I will be contacting you through it if I do not already have your address. Check your spam folder as email sometimes goes there. (For your privacy, do not put your email or address in the comment.)

Be sure to mention which book(s) you would like and you may refer to them by number instead of the title. There is no limit on how many you may request, though you may only have one copy of any title.

We always provide these at no charge to our readers. If anyone would like to help with the expenses involved, you may do so via GFM in the link below. Donations may also be sent via snail mail to Lois Gibson, P.O. Box 300682, Waterford, MI 48330. Our total cost for just the postage on this giveaway was $68.74.

When I met with the pastor tonight, some of the conversation revolved around his concept of complementarianism. He is a strange complementarian, I think. He believes that women and men are equal in Christ, but different in role, BUT at the same time, he believes that women should state their opinions in marriage and the church, should be heard (even in church), and should be respected and honored. He believes that women who are abused or neglected in marriage are NOT loving and submissive to their husbands UNLESS they attempt to stop the abuse or neglect. So he believes that the submissive, loving wife will not allow her husband to continue to harm himself, her, or their children.

He admitted that he couldn’t understand some things that were discussed in discussions such as the Truth’s Table podcast on Gender Apartheid he’d mentioned on Sunday because he has never experienced it and, though he can hear it and believe that the women speaking must have experienced something, he can’t imagine such things happening, himself.

I’m tempted to share a few things with him… some sermon clips, some discussions on Twitter, some articles that would expose him to the type of world some of us have been part of. It probably truly is a foreign concept to him. I met his teen daughter tonight, and it most definitely is a foreign concept to her. She was allowed to wander a busy Main Street with her friend. When he noticed picketers, he didn’t seem worried. He didn’t text her and ask where she was or tell her to be careful. When she walked into the coffee shop we were in, she didn’t hesitate to interrupt, though politely. She didn’t hesitate, either, to ask him for something, or to politely state again why it was reasonable when he said “probably not tonight.”

He seems to have a very different definition of submission and complementarianism than any I’ve found.

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