Blogs

First of all, I’ve not done much writing so this should be interesting. I really think this will be therapeutic for me as well as helpful to others. Hopefully, something I say will make someone feel less alone in their journey.

I was raised United Pentecostal by my mother. My father was in and out of our lives and refused to become involved in the church. From birth to six we attended a church with a pastor that my mom considered to be a father figure in her life. From what I’m told he was a kind man. When I was 6ish he retired and a different pastor was voted in. This pastor was not as loving and kind, he was extremely strict. My mom decided to move us to a neighboring town to attend the church school there ( I think it was to get away from the new pastor). During that time my dad came back in our lives and that church was extremely cult like ( more on that later). We stayed for about a year and then moved back to the other church.

When I was about 9 my mom had had enough and we moved to another neighboring town and attended what most considered in our area a liberal church. My mom didn’t like it, I was not accepted, but my sister thrived. The year I turned 12 we changed churches three times. By this time my sister had left home and it was just myself and mom. We ended up staying at the third church, my mom still attends there.

At the age of 17, I met the guy that I would marry. My mom was super negative about male attention, she believed all men would abuse us. It was not a good time and I wound up moving in with my sister and bro-in-law. They soon found out that I wasn’t “pure” and I was confused and wanted to do what I wanted so I moved in with my dad. I married my husband 2 1/2 months after my 18th birthday. The months leading up to my moving out of my mom’s house I had become very bitter. While living with my dad I attended a church a few times but my heart wasn’t in it.

I lost my job and found out I was pregnant so we moved in with my mother. I felt “convicted” and started attending church with her again. Thus began my adult life with the “church.”

I’m not sure yet in what order I will write my story, but man do I have a story to tell. As for the present, we have found a non-denominational church to attend. The pastor as well as about 1/2 the congregation is ex-UPCI/ALJC. It has been nice to have people that understand where we are at. On the other hand, we are starting over with friends and that has been extremely difficult.

Stay tuned….

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Legalists often quote a partial verse, “man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart,” to prove they should maintain “standards” of dress and hair. This is a prime example of a partial verse quoted out of context to make a point that is nowhere near the intent within context.

In context, the verse isn’t talking about what to wear or not to, but it’s a warning against choosing leaders based on appearances:

1 Sam 16:6 When they arrived, Samuel took one look at Eliab and thought, “Surely this is the LORD’s anointed!”
7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

In June 2017, the blog section of the spiritual abuse website had 4877 visits, with 2297 being unique. The stats for this month are somewhat off as our writers were not as active.

We are always looking for new people to join our group of bloggers, so please register and watch your email for more information. You are under no obligation to make a certain number of posts.

Commenting directly on the blog is an encouragement to our authors as they often cannot see all the places where these are shared and discussed on social media.

Below are the top ten read posts for June, excluding our giveaways. Thanks so much to all our readers and authors!

A Conversation with a Pastor, Part 2 – author Through Grace. (accessed 655 times)

A Time To Kill – A Time To Break Down – author Nana5. (accessed 429 times)

A Time To Heal – A Time To Build Up – author Nana5. (accessed 238 times)

Getting Out the Old Books: Power Before the Throne – author Lynne. (accessed 182 times)

Our First Year Anniversary – author Lois.

God, Our Heavenly Father – author Nana5.

Book Review: Spiritual Sobriety by Elizabeth Esther – author Eleanor.

Top May Posts –  author Lois.

An Email From A United Pentecostal Minister – author Lois.

Why Does It Take So Long? – author Through Grace.

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As kids, we were playing with some neighbors. We had some cheap plastic bead play necklaces. One of the neighbors decided to twist it around and around her fingers, snapping the beads, glued to the string, together so that they interlocked and made ring-like loops. In twisting them, she wound them too tightly and her finger started to swell. She panicked, trying to get it off and realizing it was stuck. We finally got it off and she was thankfully OK. I don’t think we ever told our parents, and I doubt she ever twisted those strings of beads around her fingers again. That wasn’t the worst knot I’ve ever untangled, but it was the scariest.

The worst knot… There was a woman in our church who got a knot in her hair. Instead of getting it untangled immediately she tried to hide it while she worked on getting it out. Cutting it out wasn’t an option due to our beliefs, and so the knot grew and grew. She wouldn’t wash her hair, afraid the knot would get worse. By the time she finally admitted her problem, it was a nightmare of a 3″x5″ or so mat of hair that started just a few inches from her scalp. We finally got it untangled for the most part. I warned her to braid her hair before washing it so it would have time to straighten and no chance of tangling back up. She didn’t listen, and the knot came back. In the end a whole group of church women (not me) spent hours gathered around her while she yelped with pain, pulling at the knot and untangling it. She lost a lot of her hair in the process.

Some knots are fairly easy to untangle, but some are almost impossible to remove, particularly if they aren’t cared for quickly. When words are tangled into knots, especially when scripture is tangled, it wraps itself not around our fingers but around our hearts. Unlike my  neighbor, most of the scripture twisting that binds us is not our fault or something we foolishly choose to wrap ourselves in, but rather it is bound around us by others. Some of them mean well. Others I’m not so sure. What I do know is the harm that twisting scriptures can cause.

It is very difficult to untangle the words that some weave into knots in our lives, particularly when they righteously declare that it is not them speaking, but God. Even if we know that God has nothing to do with what’s being said, if we hear it enough, it may sink into our minds. We miss some of the knots, particularly the smaller ones, and they tangle around us. And like any knot, it will be easier to untangle these words the less we’ve heard them, the smaller the proverbial knot.

Knots can be undone. It takes time. Sometimes it takes cutting a few strands. And many times it takes careful concentration and a frustrating amount of time. But be encouraged, it can be done. And with care, we can rid ourselves of the knots completely while still enjoying the threads or strands that they were woven from. The strands themselves aren’t all bad, just the way they are tied together, and the way they were used, to bind rather than mend.

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This giveaway is now closed.

We have given away books for years as part of the spiritualabuse.org ministry and this will be our third large one via this blog for 2017 and it is in celebration of our one year anniversary of the blog section. This is your chance to receive one or more free books on various issues. After making your request, be sure to respond to my email requesting your mailing address if I do not already have it. In some past giveaways we had people request items but never responded. This keeps material from others.

The first people with a USA mailing address who respond will receive their choice of books/DVDs/CDs at no charge to them. (Unfortunately, it is cost prohibitive to mail these books outside of the USA.) To respond, just leave a comment for this post. If you are unsure what any item is about, the links will take you to Amazon where you may read their description and reviews.

Up for grabs are several used books, DVDs & CDs. Being used, they will have imperfections. Many of these I have not read, so do not take their inclusion as an endorsement from me.

1. Two paperback copies of Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. (One has some highlighting.)
2. One hardback copy of Boundaries by Henry Cloud & John Townsend. (Has some markings.) TAKEN
3. One paperback copy of Boundaries by Henry Cloud & John Townsend. TAKEN
4. One hardcover copy of Zondervan Handbook To The Bible.
5. Two hardback copies of The Church Awakening by Charles Swindoll.
6. One hardback copy of The Grace Awakening by Charles Swindoll. (some markings)
7. One paperback copy of The Unauthorized Guide To Choosing a Church by Carmen Renee Berry. TAKEN
8. One paperback copy of Testament The Bible Odyssey.
9. One hardback copy of Naves Topical BibleTAKEN
10. One hardback copy of Holy Bible New Revised Standard Version.
11. One paperback copy of The Year Of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs. TAKEN
12. One paperback copy of Changes That Heal by Henry Cloud. TAKEN
13. One paperback copy of Changes That Heal Workbook by Henry Cloud. TAKEN
14. One hardcover copy of Prayer: Does It Make A Difference by Philip Yancey. (some markings) TAKEN
15. One hardcover copy of What Good Is God? by Philip Yancey. TAKEN
16. Two hardcover copies of The Bible Jesus Read by Philip Yancey. TAKEN
17. One hardcover copy of The Truth Book by Joy Castro. (Jehovah’s Witness Abuse)
18. One KJV Thompson Chain Reference Study Bible. (Has some markings and water damage near the back.) TAKEN
19. One DVD of The Story Of Two Kings/Where Did The Bible Come From.
20. One DVD of Cult Explosion: Cults Exposed By Those Who Escaped (Walter Martin). TAKEN
21. Kidz Bible Audio Bible For Kids NIRV MP3 Format – new. TAKEN
22. The Gospel of John 2 DVD Set. TAKEN
23. The Case For Faith The Film DVD by Lee Strobel. TAKEN
24. MP3 CD NIV Audio New Testament Dramatized by Faith Comes By Hearing. – 2 available
25. Tangled Blu-Ray Disc (Only includes the Blu-Ray)
26. Deluxe Compact Disc Psalms & Proverbs NASB. 5 CDs
27. Two paperback copies of Since Nobody’s Perfect How Good is Good Enough by Andy Stanley. ONE TAKEN
28. One paperback copy of A Stolen Life by Jaycee Dugard.
29. One paperback copy of The New Foxe’s Book Of Martyrs by John Foxe. TAKEN
30. One paperback copy of I Don’t Have Enough Faith To Be An Atheist by Norman Geisler. TAKEN
31. Two paperback copies of Be Still And Know That I am God Adult Coloring Book. TAKEN
32. One paperback copy of The Emotionally Abused Woman by Beverly Engel. TAKEN
33. One paperback copy of Grace God’s Unmerited Favor by Charles Spurgeon. TAKEN
34. One paperback copy of The Case For Christ Student Edition by Lee Strobel.
35. One paperback copy of Resisting Happiness by Matthew Kelly. TAKEN
36. One paperback copy of The Shack Large Print by Wm. Paul Young.
37. One paperback copy of Healing Spiritual Abuse by Ken Blue (book was mangled by USPS but still very readable). TAKEN
38. One paperback copy of John Life Application Bible Studies. (has a little writing) TAKEN
39. One paperback copy of Romans Life Application Bible Studies. TAKEN
40. One paperback copy of Growing Up Amish by Ira Wagler. TAKEN
41. One paperback copy of Controlling People by Patricia Evans. TAKEN
42. One paperback copy of Happiness Is A Choice by Minirth & Meier (On depression). TAKEN
43. One hardcover copy of Cruden’s Complete Concordance. TAKEN
44. One hardcover copy of Hurt People Hurt People by Sandra Wilson. TAKEN
45. One hardcover copy of Life’s Healing Choices by John Baker.
46. One hardcover copy of Captured By Grace by David Jeremiah. TAKEN
47. One hardcover copy of The Emotionally Healthy Church by Peter Scazzero. TAKEN
48. One hardcover copy of Hinds Feet On High Places by Hannah Hurnard.
49. One hardcover copy of Financial Peace Revisited by Dave Ramsey. TAKEN

The first people with a USA mailing address who respond will receive their choice of book(s) at no charge to them. To respond, just leave a comment on this post. Please understand that comments require approval unless you have previously commented with the same email and screen name. So while it may look like you are first, there may be someone ahead of you whose comment is pending. Be sure to use your actual email address when setting up to comment as I will be contacting you through it if I do not already have your address. Check your spam folder as email sometimes goes there. (For your privacy, do not put your email or address in the comment.)

Be sure to mention which book(s) you would like and you may refer to them by number instead of the title. There is no limit on how many you may request, though you may only have one copy of any title.

Mailing may be slower than normal this time around due to the upcoming holiday and will be dependent upon funds in my PayPal account.

We always provide these at no charge to our readers. The total cost for just the postage on our first and second 2017 giveaways, plus the cost of the Christianity Without The Cross giveaway, was $165.96. Postage for this giveaway was $43.12.

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