A Pastor Who Should Not Have Been Part 1

Part four of a series of articles.

You are the first monster in my story of abuse. You have tried to throw scripture at me and tried to convince whoever will listen that this is merely a case of adultery. You know that is not true. What you did to me was a crime. Whether or not god forgives you is none of my business, what is my business is trying to gain justice for my child self. You are a pedophile and you ruined my adolescence. You took away my chance to ever be normal. I have been the walking wounded ever since the day I met you. I may have been swayed by your manipulative fake kindness as a child but i can now see it for what it is, grooming. I don’t feel you have ever been honest with yourself about what you have done. When we met I had never had my first kiss, in fact I had not even held a boy’s hand. By time your were done with me that was no longer the case. You cannot hide from the truth forever. I have carried the shame of what you did to me for too long and now I’m trying to do something about it. – Debbie, a survivor of child sexual abuse in the United Pentecostal Church

(Some statements in this article are what have been alleged by a survivor. There have been no convictions as the cases mentioned here were not reported to the police at the time and to my knowledge, the alleged perpetrator has not admitted guilt.)

This article covers information about Steven Dahl and his alleged molestation of at least two children in the 1980s. I am going to start by sharing some details concerning the people involved in this situation and will be making additional posts in order to cover it more in depth.

November 29, 2021 Facebook post
November 29, 2021 Facebook post

 Steven Joseph Dahl was born on February 10, 1952 and was raised Lutheran. Prior to his involvement with the United Pentecostal Church, he “was married, divorced, and went bankrupt by age 22.” In his late 20s, a friend shared with Steve about his religious conversion. Claiming an angel appeared to him the night before, on March 14, 1981 Steve prayed and spoke in tongues and was delivered of “drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes.” On March 17th, he was baptized at Calvary Gospel Church in Madison, Wisconsin.

Steve married Debra (not to be confused with Debbie) on July 18, 1981. She was seven years younger than him and his second wife. On March 26, 1985 Debra would file for divorce and on April 17, 1986, Steve married Alice, Debra’s younger sister, in Clark County, Nevada.

Debra remarried in 1991, and at the time of this article, her husband held a local license in the UPCI. [2024 Note: He is no longer licensed and is with another woman. It appears he and Debra jointly filed for divorce in October 2020 and it was final in late 2021.]

During the time that Steve was molesting Debbie, he was caught in bed with Debra’s sister, Alice, when she was 15. Alice is eight years younger than Debra. By the time Alice turned 18, her and Steve married. Steve was 34.

Steve Dahl’s Involvement at Calvary Gospel Church & Christian Life Center

[Most links in this section take you to partial screenshots of Facebook posts Steven Dahl made in December 2021.]

Steve Dahl 1990s

Steve quickly became popular at Calvary Gospel United Pentecostal Church (CGC), was involved in the music ministry and played the trumpet, as well as being active in other ways. (He had previously played the trumpet semi-professionally in a 14 piece swing band called The Academy of Swing [screenshot December 1, 2021 Facebook post]. They were the house band at the Edgewater Hotel in Madison on Saturday nights. He was told to leave the band by Pastor Grant and sold the band to a friend.)

Much to his dismay, he wasn’t allowed to be an elder due to having been previously married. At the time, CGC was located at 3511 Milwaukee Street and John W. Grant was the pastor, an ordained minister of the United Pentecostal Church. (It is presently located at 5301 Commercial Avenue.)

When he started attending the church, Steve was living in a duplex “with a girl who was a nurse.” As they were not married, he was told by the pastor to stop living with her. He was working as a wholesale company representative for Vincent Supply Company in Madison, where he was fired not long after joining CGC.

He then became a hardware salesman for Bud’s Wholesale Hardware, from which he was also fired about nine months after the supply company job, and claimed Bud was going out of business a month later. He also claimed that his territory at the supply company “never produced another cent.” In his mind, these were punishments from God for firing him.

He was finally hired by Olan Mills, a church directory company, where he continued to work until retirement. Claiming to have “opened up the state of Wisconsin” to them, he would later take young Debbie with him at times when he was working out of town for Olan Mills.

Within a year of attending CGC, Steve was asked “to go to a nursing home to teach the people a bible study.” Within a few months he “was asked to teach at another nursing home.”

Around 1984, after he had been caught in bed with his second wife’s younger sister, he had moved to Appleton and started attending another church. [In Steve’s December 2021 testimony series, he conveniently neglects to mention his second marriage, how he was caught in bed with Alice when she was 15, or what lead to him moving.]

By 1986 or 1987, he and his third wife Alice were living in Neenah where they attended Christian Life Center, located at 670 North Green Bay Road in Neenah, Wisconsin. John J. Bridges was pastor. There Steve started teaching the senior Sunday School class and sometimes was permitted to preach to the youth. (Let that sink in, knowing what he’d allegedly done to little Debbie.)

Around 1987-1988, Steve was asked by the assistant minister at the Neenah church to go to the Green Bay Correctional Institution, a maximum security prison, to teach a bible study for him there. After his first time doing so, he was asked to take over that ministry on Saturday mornings. He did this ministry for six years.

After needing to arrange for someone else to come to the prison to baptize, he claims he was eventually given a special license by his church to baptize the men there. He also later went to Kettle Moraine Correctional Institution, a medium security prison, on some Saturdays, as well as a prison in Oshkosh on Sundays. He claims that after one service at an Oshkosh Prison where he had been invited, he was told he’d not be invited back.

After Steve stopped doing the prison ministry, he was invited to preach at a United Methodist youth camp for three days, but when others discovered the type of church he attended, he was told he could not preach about Oneness or baptism.

The Beginnings of the Oconto Church

From Yelp post 6/16/20

The church in Oconto came about due to Steve’s brother and sister-in-law wanting him and Alice to come to their apartment in Oconto to teach them a Bible study. The couple started inviting their friends to these studies and this went on for a few months. At the suggestion of Pastor Bridges to look for another place due to it becoming too crowded in the apartment, in April 1995 Steve started holding Sunday meetings in the conference room at the Cruisers Yacht Company factory. The room was large enough for 40 people and in the first few months over 30 were attending. After two years there, the company told them they would have to move.

From there they were given the use of their present building where they were not charged rent, but had to pay the utilities and put them in their name. This was a former VFW hall. Services started there in February 1998. In mid 2014, the building was donated to them after the owner first installed a new roof and added a steeple and cross.

The building was dirty and in need of much work and over time, with the help of the man who allowed them to use it, they made many improvements, both inside and outside.

Because Dahl did not want to be a pastor, John Bridges suggested that an ad be placed in the Wisconsin District News and five men responded. Pastor Bridges disqualified three of them immediately and the other two were invited to preach. One chose to bow out and the other accepted the invitation to preach. However, his pastor, a presbyter from the Michigan District, later called to say Steve Dahl should remain the pastor.

Back to Debbie, John Grant & Calvary Gospel Church

Debbie alleges that she was first assaulted by Steve Dahl in either 1981 or possibly the spring of 1982. She had turned 11 in June 1981 and the abuse started before she turned 12.

11 year old Debbie

She shared with me that “it was warm enough that we stopped for ice cream and we were driving around with the windows down. I remember there was no leaves or snow or anything like that on the ground. …When he started molesting me I was just starting to really get to know the other kids in the church. I was baptized when I was 10 and up until that point we came on Sunday mornings but we were not super involved with other families. I was just starting to make some connections with the other kids in a deeper way. So it was this real window of time when I was just on the verge of starting to make some connections with kids my age. He stepped in and in some ways interrupted that process.”

Younger John Grant
John Grant 1980s

Debbie reported her multiple accounts of sexual abuse to pastor John W. Grant when she was 12, either in 1982 or 1983. She shared, “It was during the school year because I was pulled out of class to talk with him.” Debbie was attending the church operated school. The pastor did not report the sexual abuse to the police, nor did he get back to Debbie as promised.

John Grant

John Wesley Grant was a presbyter of the Wisconsin District, while R.P. Kloepper was the Superintendent. He had long held license in the organization and had been the pastor of CGC since 1972. Prior to his time in Madison, he was pastor in Cushing, Texas for a few short years, followed by a few years each in Shawano and LaCrosse, Wisconsin.

By 1982 he was the Wisconsin District Superintendent and remained in that position through part of 1999 when John Putnam was elected. John Putnam was replaced by James Booker in March 2018. Grant has since retained the position of Honorary Presbyter in the District and Honorary General Presbyter on the national level. In 2014, he was inducted into the United Pentecostal Church’s Order of the Faith, which noted, “He has taught ministerial ethics and Christian principles in a very easy to understand and unique way.” [2024 Note: The Order of the Faith was rescinded in 2023 following a judicial procedure filed against John Grant. He was also removed as an Honorary General Presbyter and District Honorary Presbyter.]

In early 2013, he brought his son, Roy Howard Grant, in as a co-pastor and the following year elevated himself to the position of bishop. On the weekend of February 28, 2015, Roy was officially installed as the senior pastor.

Roy Grant

It wasn’t until 2006 that his son, Roy, obtained a local license in his mid 40s. (While the church website states it was 2006, his name does not appear in the UPCI Directory until 2008, which would be reflective of a 2007 license. However, if he obtained license very late in 2006, that could explain the Directory delay as these are released every January.) It appears that as of 2018, Roy became a section three presbyter for the Wisconsin District and held that position through some time in 2020.

For a great many years, Calvary Gospel Church was not an affiliated church, but became one in 2016 (as was reflected in the 2017 Directory). [Every church whose pastor holds license in the UPCI is considered a United Pentecostal church. In this, there are affiliated and non-affiliated churches. In the former, there is a legally binding agreement between the local church and the organization. Should the organization investigate this church, that change to becoming affiliated would be important.]

Back to Steven Dahl

Steven Dahl 11/30/17 Facebook post

As mentioned above, Steve Dahl worked for many years as a marketing representative selling church directories for Olan Mills and then was a consultant for Lifetouch Church Directories (they purchased Olan Mills), where he retired from on November 30, 2017. At one point he covered “Northeast Wisconsin from Brown county through the Fox Valley to Washington and Ozaukee Counties.”

He is presently the pastor at the Pentecostal Lighthouse Church [the website was taken down after this article was written, so the link goes to an archive] at 821 Superior Ave in Oconto, Wisconsin and the church is a member of the Oconto Chamber of Commerce.

On the Facebook Page for the church, he claims it was founded on April 11, 1995. [screenshot – There is an unofficial Facebook Page for Steve’s church. On February 21, 2018, Steve took down the church Facebook Page.] The website domain name was purchased on October 1, 2011 and the Facebook Page stated it “is an independant Apostolic One God, Acts 2:38 church,” yet on the about us section of the website it stated, “We are not isolated or independent, we are part of a very large and growing movement of churches” and mentions the United Pentecostal Church.

3/24/16 Facebook post

The church used to be a VFW Hall as well as a Depot.

It is troubling to me regarding the origins of the Pentecostal Lighthouse Church and this will be addressed in a future post.

Steven Dahl 8-25-23 Facebook post

Steve and Alice had their first of four children and were in Wisconsin, living in Neenah by sometime in 1986 or 1987. By 1999, they may have moved to their present six acre lot home in Oconto.

Known as ‘The Rev,’ Steve Dahl runs The Rev Oconto Car Club Facebook Group. He organizes Car N Tunes events in Wisconsin and at the annual Oconto Fly-In Car & Tractor Show, where he has served as emcee and DJ at the event for thirteen years.

In the following posts I intend to cover more about what happened to Debbie, plus Steve’s reactions after some people started posting comments on his Facebook profile and church Page, as well as additional information about the start of Steve’s church in Oconto.

Yes, all too often pastors make the decision to handle crimes ‘in house’ and not report them to police. Doing so in situations such as are being covering in this series of articles, enables pedophiles and other predators to continue harming others. In Debbie’s situation, the man went on to be a pastor, something that would never have happened had he been reported to the police and convicted.

Note: On March 2, 2018 I removed the mention of a registered sex offender as it appears he is not a relation to Steven Dahl.

March 11, 2024 Note: Numerous screenshots have been added to this post, links have been checked, and many revisions were made as since this was first posted in early 2018, much more information on Dahl’s background became available due to a series of Facebook posts he made in December 2021.

You will find a complete list of articles in this series by clicking here.

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A UPC Church Responds To Sexual Abuse

Part three of a series of articles.

In the United States, 25 percent of girls and 8 percent of boys are sexually abused before they turn 18. It’s incredible then that with a staggering number of victims, it often takes a critical mass—and time—before we’re willing to acknowledge that people we admire or trust are capable of sexually abusing children. People who abuse children often appear to be regular, normal folks, and we often don’t recognize that child sexual abuse is occurring because it is committed by people we know. – Elizabeth Letourneau, Ph.D.

(The statements in this article are what has been alleged by the survivors. There have been no convictions as the cases mentioned here were not reported to the police at the time and to my knowledge, the alleged perpetrators have not admitted guilt.)

11 year old Debbie

Debbie attended the church from 1978-1986. She was an eleven year old child and Steve was 29 or 30 when the sexual abuse started. It continued for about two years. He was married to his second wife and popular in the church. Debbie blamed herself, thinking she must have done something wrong to cause his actions.

When she found the courage to tell the pastor, he recorded their conversation and stated he would get back to her. The pastor, who was also the Wisconsin District Superintendent for many years, never did. Instead, the perpetrator may have left the state for a short time and Debbie received no counseling. Some church members avoided her or gave her evil looks.

Steve Dahl 11-23-22 Facebook post

Steve’s wife, Debra, filed for divorce in 1985. Steve had been caught in bed with her 15 year old sister, Alice, whom Steve later married. He remains married to her to this day.

Years later, while in her late 40s, Debbie found her voice and the courage to speak up. Little did she know what would transpire as she started writing about her childhood. While feeling alone in what happened to her, others who left Calvary Gospel United Pentecostal Church in Madison, Wisconsin started contacting her. They also were sexually assaulted.

I know what the research says. I know that my grooming for sexual abuse was so effective that, many years later I still feel responsible for my own abuse. I understand the dynamics that produced this effect in me. And, yet, after all my knowledge, all my therapy, and all the years of praying, it still feels like my fault, like I was complicit in my own abuse. And, it still feels like I owe my abusers compassion, love, secrecy, and the denigration of myself for their aggrandizement.

This is how effective and destructive abusive grooming is. And this barely touches on the reality of all the feelings, trauma, PTSD symptoms, and other long-term effects caused by sex offenders. – Maureen Farrell Garcia

As Debbie has continued to blog, more women have come forward, sharing their past with her. In early February 2018, some who left Calvary Gospel started leaving negative reviews on the church Facebook page and commented on posts. Comments were deleted by the church and the review section was soon removed. [There is an unofficial Facebook Page for the church where there are some reviews available. 2024 note: The review section is no longer available.] Before that happened, current members were hurriedly leaving positive five star reviews in an effort to counter the negative ones.

I didn’t catch these when they first started, but I did save around twenty screenshots. What I witnessed was similar to that I have seen in the past, where people rally around the pastor, don’t allow themselves to consider what is being shared, and dismiss anything negative without looking to see if there is any validity to the claims. The person who brings up a problem becomes the problem. The person is labeled things like being bitter in an effort to dismiss and discount whatever they share. These are well-known signs of an unhealthy church.

It reminded me of a time in my former United Pentecostal Church in New Jersey. The pastor had discovered that two former members had done a radio broadcast about spiritual abuse. They mentioned no names. The pastor took an entire Thursday evening service to play the cassette tape of the broadcast to show what was being said.

This created a stir among the members, an us vs. them mindset, and they rallied around the church and pastor. How dare those former members say those untrue things! I was away when this happened, so I asked to borrow the tape from the pastor. When I returned it, I gave it to another woman. I can still picture her standing in the church hallway, holding the cassette by her fingertips and away from herself as if it were something disgusting.

Child sex abuse cases are a lot harder to try than a murder case. I would rather try a murder case than a child sexual abuse case because they’re so difficult. Juries do not want to believe that this happened. They do not want to believe that that guy sitting over there did something to a child. – Mary A. Jennings, Prosecutor, Cook County State’s Attorney’s Office

Debbie posted her one star review of Calvary Gospel and wrote, “This church is not a safe place for young girls/women. They do not report sexual abuse to the authorities.” Scott, a church member, soon replied, “Another lie…ridiculous!” It should be noted that Scott was not even in Wisconsin at the time of Debbie’s alleged assault.

Rachel posted a scripture and mentioned the name of Debbie’s blog. Scott replied, “I just read this ‘blog’. It is full of misconceptions and outright lies. This church does NOT at all teach what she claims…in fact, I am part of an organization within this church drawing attention to the fact that men are the source of many issues dating back to Adam in the book of Genesis. He was absent when Eve needed him and men today need to be aware of their responsibility to support and love their wives…not pull them down. That claim is ridiculous!”

Laura, a former member who didn’t know about the depth of abuse that happened with the other girls until last week, remembers the meeting with John Grant (the pastor at the time, now the Bishop, as his son took his place) concerning an adult man and a minor girl. The pastor allegedly said, “I’m required by law to report this. I’m not going to jail for any fornicator.”

Laura and her husband later discovered that it had never been reported. They were instructed by John Grant to see to Lisa’s emotional and spiritual healing and leave the rest of it to him to deal with. Laura later wrote that she knows “of several situations where adult men were inappropriate with minor girls and the church looked the other way. …These men MIGHT have received a pat on the hand for what they did, but the girls were labeled as though they were the ones at fault.”

She continued in another post that further explained the same meeting, “…there were two elders present. One of them said, concerning the victim and the family, ‘Well, if the parents would live right…!’ The other one said, ‘You better be glad we aren’t in the Old Testament days when they stoned people for this.’ How comforting and supportive was this to a family whose world was turned upside down by a predator? After the situation, the young lady was shamed and labeled by many/most of the people in the church. It was heartbreaking. Now, look at the songs and the message at CGC this morning. They sang about the enemy, they talked about the enemy. They are subtly maneuvering people’s minds to believe that they are the innocent victims of an unwarranted attack by bad people. They are refusing to address this situation openly and honestly. They are hijacking the label of victim and placing it upon themselves. If you know anything about psychology or spiritual abuse, you will understand exactly what is going on there. If you have a blind loyalty to the royalty, you will not look into the mountains of facts and evidence.” (four typos have been corrected)

A woman I will call M shared this was her home church and she is loyal to it. Yet her and her son were sexually assaulted (she first used the term harassed). She wrote, “I’ve never reported it and I never will. I’m a warrior but I’m not stupid; I’d be shunned.” This is very sad.

Kim, another church member, posted a screen shot of something from Wisconsin’s laws about clergy members reporting abuse. While she didn’t want to “make light of the events that transpired,” she felt that those posting should follow Matthew 18 “rather than openly criticize a church organization.” She went on to share that “There are reasons why pastors and church leadership handle things the way that they do. They answer to a higher authority.”

Yes, all too often pastors make the decision to handle crimes ‘in house’ and not report them to police. Doing so in situations such as are being covering in this series of articles, enables pedophiles and other predators to continue harming others. In Debbie’s situation, the man went on to be a pastor, something that would never have happened had he been reported to the police, prosecuted and convicted.

If these allegations are true, something has been very wrong with this church. Will David Bernard, the current General Superintendent of the United Pentecostal Church, fully investigate events that transpired at Calvary Gospel Church? If these allegations prove to be true, will John Grant’s license be revoked as well as the license of anyone else who may have played a role in failing to report sexual assault to police?

[2024 Note: As a result of a complaint filed against Grant under the UPCI’s judicial procedure, in 2023 John Wesley Grant was placed on probation for a year, where he was not permitted to preach or teach. Grant was removed from the United Pentecostal Church’s Order of the Faith where he had been inducted in 2014. He was also removed as a Wisconsin District Honorary Presbyter as well as an Honorary General Presbyter, which had been granted him for being a District Superintendent for many years.]

I want to end with a quote from Laura that was made in the review section after comments from church members started going missing. I believe she sums it up well.

Concerning the posts that were removed telling people to move on: Moving on is what all these victims have had to do because they never received the help they deserved from the church. Instead they were labeled and pushed away from the community. There comes a time, though, when recovery has taken place and the hurt have regained their strength, that they come back and hope to see justice done. If not justice through the legal system, at least those who covered up crimes exposed, hopefully enough to prevent future victims. The problem is that there is a mentality there that says the victims are liars and their beloved leaders could do no wrong. Those who have poured salt on the wounds are those who called these survivors liars and refuse to believe what happened. There are MANY victims who are coming out and finally speaking up. They are courageous to take this stand and finally be heard. It’s a shame that those who are reading these are circling the wagons and declaring that it’s a spiritual attack. It’s not. It’s consequences for crimes that have been swept under the rug for decades. We were there. We saw what happened in many of these situations. And if there are…say 10 who are speaking up right now, you can be sure there are at least 10 who are not yet talking about it.

UPCI WI District 2016 Christmas for Christ from CenterStage Media, LP on YouTube.

March 3, 2024 Note: Screenshots have been added to this post, links have been checked, and some changes and additions were made.

You will find a complete list of articles in this series by clicking here.

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A UPC Minister’s Sexual Fantasy

Part two of a series of articles.

The call from West Virginia came one evening after 11:00 PM back in late 1993, not long before I made my exodus out of the United Pentecostal Church. He was a minister, having held license for at least a couple decades in the UPC, and ordination since at least the mid 70s. He was 27 years older than me and about eight years younger than my father.

Earlier that year after resigning my position in the church operated daycare center at the end of their summer program, I made a trip to visit him, his wife and his mother. By then we had known one another several years. He and his wife had become kind of like my second set of parents as we met not long after my mother passed away in the mid 1980s. They had come in search of work as he was a carpenter by trade and employment in WV was poor, while in New Jersey it was booming. All of us spent many hours together through the years, along with some other church members.

I’d been looking for a way to leave my church without it seeming obvious that I no longer wanted to be there and was considering the possibility of returning to West Virginia to help at his church in Mineral Wells. They were meeting in a trailer on the property at the time since the church was being built. In 1990 I had helped for several months at another small church in Vienna, so it wouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone if I returned to WV for a season. We discussed this possibility while I visited for a few weeks that fall, but no decision was made at the time.

Little did I know what was going to be disclosed when I answered that phone call. He shared with me that his wife wasn’t home and that she was not to know of our conversation. He proceeded to tell me that I had been a sexual fantasy of his and that it had been going on for awhile. He shared some things that he had fought in his mind. Needless to say, that conversation slammed the door shut to my returning to WV as we both decided that would not be a good idea.

The call ended and I never made another trip there. The beginning of the following year is when some things started to be said about the Lemons, that there was some type of problem. Sexual charges were filed against him, he was convicted and imprisoned and another minister, who was a trustee, took over Revival Tabernacle. In early May 1994, the Lemons deeded the property to the three church trustees, one being his mother.

I was in shock. He had never been inappropriate toward me. How do you process it when someone you saw as a father figure, tells you something like that? It is a creepy and disconcerting feeling. I didn’t share it with anyone at first. Because of that phone call, when the word came out he was in prison, I tended to believe he must have done something. If he had been fighting thoughts about me for awhile, he very well may have had them about others.

Clifford Lemon

For years I never knew the exact charges and to this day still don’t know much. From the little that was discovered online, in May 1994 Clifford Lee Lemon was convicted of 12 counts of sexual abuse by a parent, guardian, custodian or other person in position of trust to a child. I later saw a mention that in 1998 he appealed the denial of his petition for a writ of habeas corpus in his underlying conviction. To my knowledge he died on November 7, 2011, before ever being released.

I had contact with his wife afterward, but not much, and that stopped. It was very awkward because I didn’t know if he had disclosed to her what he told me and it certainly wasn’t something I wanted to discuss with her. She switched to a non-UPC Oneness Pentecostal church at some point after leaving and passed away on January 25, 2016.

Clifford Lemon obituary
Bernie Lemon

Prior to all of this happening, one of his sons was convicted in April of 1992 on three counts of 1st degree sexual assault where his victims were two minor female family members. Bernie (Bernard Eugene Lemon) spent more than ten years in prison. He would at times get to preach in different churches, but to my knowledge never held license. It was said by his parents that he did not commit the crime. I wrote Bernie for a little while after he was imprisoned but stopped when I became uncomfortable with something he wrote. I never saw him again after he was convicted.

Bernie Lemon

I well remember that the father could be hard with people when it came to following the UPC standards. He shared that women shouldn’t wear shirts with writing or pictures on them as it drew attention to their chest area. Once when I was visiting in West Virginia, one of his adult sons came over and had some facial stubble. He harped on it until the son went into the bathroom and shaved. One that I have never forgotten is how he viewed a child who was born out of wedlock. While he was by no means like some I have heard, I have come to realize through the years that some people who are hard nosed on standards often have something in their own life that they are hiding.

I wrote in the first article that I personally knew four men from the United Pentecostal Church who were convicted of sexual related charges. In an upcoming article, I will cover the other two.

Bernie Lemon’s latest picture- screenshot taken Feb. 2024

You will find a complete list of articles in this series by clicking here.

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The United Pentecostal Church and Sexual Abuse

This is the first of a series.

It appears that one of the greatest temptations facing the ministry is sex. How does sexual purity relate to God’s requirements? Sexual immorality is clearly excluded by the requirements of ‘blameless, good report, good behaviour, just, holy, and husband of one wife.’ Again, a sexual sin is an obvious disqualification in light of all the Scriptures. ‘But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away’ (Proverbs 6:32-33). Even our sinful society acknowledges the truth in this verse to some degree, as exemplified by the public reaction to the Gary Hart and Jim Bakker scandals. Even people guilty of sexual sins often expect their leaders to uphold moral standards publicly, particularly religious leaders who claim to be morally pure. – David Bernard, January-March 1988 Forward (an exclusive publication for UPCI licensed ministers)

I am saddened once again as I continue to discover instances of wrongful sexual actions, committed against children and adults, by people in the United Pentecostal Church and elsewhere. My heart is grieved upon learning how some pastors failed to report cases to the police. In their attempts to handle these ‘in house’ and muzzle the victims, it has allowed people to continue molesting, causing untold damage and anguish to others. (One case in California, involving two UPC ministers who are still licensed, George Nobbs and Art Hodges, with the latter now serving as a General Executive Presbyter, prompted legislative changes.)

Through the years I have also heard stories of children of preachers never facing the consequences of sexual sins as their parent(s) covered it up and some were even later awarded ministerial license in the United Pentecostal Church. There have been ministers who have had affairs, leaving their spouse and children in their wake, trying to pick up the pieces of their once normal lives. There have been men and women who have suffered agonizing horror and shame as it is discovered that a spouse is a pedophile. Church members have had their faith shaken when light is shone upon a pastor’s sexual crimes, while others refuse to believe what they did. There have been victims of sexual violence who have been shamed, avoided, blamed and even kicked out of their church by fellow UPC members. They are told to forgive and to keep their mouths shut. Should they muster the courage to speak out, they are sometimes disbelieved and their character assassinated. It is all so very heartbreaking.

According to I Corinthians 6:15-18, sexual sins are against one’s own body. God has ordained that husband and wife become one flesh. Marriage is a holy institution and a type of Christ and the church. Sexual infidelity is a violation of the most basic, sacred, and intimate covenant that two people can make. Far from being a temporary lapse or indiscretion, it signals a fundamental breakdown of spirituality, character, and integrity- in relation to God, one’s closest loved ones, and oneself. The offender has broken faith and trust in the most important stewardship he has. This is doubly true when this sin has been committed repeatedly, as it often is. – David Bernard, January-March 1988 Forward

Before someone shouts that the United Pentecostal Church isn’t the only religious group where sexual abuse occurs or is covered up, I would have to have my head in the sand to be unaware of this. I also realize that their offenses are less in number than the Catholic church. I know that there are some ministers and churches that properly handle instances of sexual abuse. These facts, however, should never preclude the matter from being exposed and addressed. These facts can never diminish the devastation and life-long effects that the victims endure.

There is a focus on this particular organization as it is the one in which I used to belong. I personally know four men from the United Pentecostal Church, two of whom were licensed ministers, who were convicted of sexual related charges. In addition, there hasn’t been as much written about this group, or other Oneness Pentecostals, as has been with some other groups when it comes to sexual abuse. When some cases do hit the news, it isn’t always shown or openly known that someone in the UPCI is involved, even though their Manual stipulates any of their churches are to be clearly marked as such. (Article XVIII, Section 4:1 Identification “Each church that is either affiliated with the United Pentecostal Church International or is pastored by a minister who holds license or credentials with the United Pentecostal Church International shall identify by sign or otherwise on the outside of its church building that it is associated with the United Pentecostal Church International.” 2018 UPCI Manual)

A preacher may fall into sin, be forgiven by God, be restored to the church, and even be restored to many areas of service, but this does not automatically entitle him to his former position of leadership. He must once again meet the qualifications of being blameless, having a good report, and so on. This takes much time, and in some cases total restoration may never be possible. As an analogy, God will forgive a church treasurer who embezzles, but it may never be wise for him to fill that office again, for his sake and for others’ sake. The same is true of a Boy Scout leader who falls into homosexuality or a youth teacher who divorces his wife and marries one of his students. Moreover, some sins-such as child molestation, incest, and rape-may indicate deep personality problems that would permanently disqualify someone from many leadership positions. – David Bernard, January-March 1988 Forward

You may be surprised to realize that there is a very good chance that there are people in your church who have been molested at some point in their lives. Your closest friend, a co-worker, even your spouse or child may have never shared and could be suffering in silence. Some have been told by pastors to never speak about it and they feel they must be obedient. One must protect the church’s reputation. Some remain silent as they have seen how mistreated another was when they disclosed what happened. Due to how they were raised and/or what they were taught in church, they may at least partially blame themselves. They may have relationship, marital or sexual issues. And all this time they fight, struggle and suffer alone, right beside others, while most are oblivious to their pain. Sometimes they push through and openly share what happened. To me, that takes strength and courage, especially since there will always be those who dismiss or attempt to discredit the accounts, make excuses for the perpetrators, or make ignorant statements, such as questioning why they took so long to speak up.

Just as the church has authority to examine and approve ministerial candidates, so it has authority to remove someone from a ministerial position if he no longer meets God’s requirements. Actually the person disqualifies himself by his actions, and the church simply recognizes this fact. Solomon permanently removed Abiathar from the high priesthood, a hereditary role explicitly ordained by God, because of his rebellion (I Kings 2:26-27). – David Bernard, January-March 1988 Forward

There are questions in all of this that cry out to be addressed. If what David Bernard wrote is the official position of the United Pentecostal Church (and it should be as he has since become their General Superintendent), then why have certain things happened in some of their churches and ministers have obtained or retained their licenses?

How has anyone convicted of sexual crimes been allowed to participate in certain church activities and leadership has not informed the church members?

Why would any church that operates a school or daycare not tell the parents when one of their workers, past or present, has been arrested on charges of having thousands of images and videos of child pornography?

Why have pastors made the decision to handle any of these ‘in house,’ failed to report them to police, told church members not to go to the police, or covered them up?

Why have some pastors and District Superintendents not taken proper action when informed of such things? Shouldn’t a minister who fails to report sexual abuse lose their license as their actions allow a perpetrator to continue- are they not complicit in future assaults?

When a church has an atmosphere where some of the men had inappropriate interest in much younger female children, such as at Calvary Gospel Church in Madison, Wisconsin, how could this have continued for years and why have these children who were sexually assaulted received no justice?

Some may argue argue that Bernard didn’t say anything about taking church matters to the police or the courts. There is a mindset with many of these churches/ministers that believes these matters should be handled ‘in house’ – we don’t want to make the church look bad and we need to protect ‘the truth.’ The mission of the United Pentecostal Church in part is to carry “the whole gospel to the whole world.” They truly believe they have ‘the truth’ and that the vast majority of Christians do not have it and are not saved.

So I pose this thought: Shouldn’t an organization that believes they have the ‘whole gospel’ and ‘the truth’ conduct themselves better than other church groups? Shouldn’t they hold themselves to a higher standard than others? Shouldn’t they do whatever they can to protect and bring justice to those who have been sexually assaulted?

You will find a complete list of articles in this series by clicking here.

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Traumatic Submission

Growing up, I was indoctrinated early to know that obedience and submission were godly, while rebellion or disobedience would end in eternal damnation. I probably could’ve told you this in simple terms by the time I was three or four years old.

I grew up playing church with my sister, and a huge part of that was beating our baby dolls into submission during our services. Those poor dolls were so naughty they got a “spanking” about every two minutes. Although, like most children, we probably over dramatized things a touch in our play, we were truly mirroring what we were being taught in our lives, through observation and personal experience.

Recently, I asked my therapist about why, in my childhood, I walked around in a fog all the time. I had no mental clarity about the passing of time, the structure of school, the location of anything outside of my home and my street, and many more things. I spent hours every day daydreaming and spinning wonderful stories in my mind, in which I was the recipient of many wonderfully ideal happenings. I read voraciously, and when I wasn’t reading, I was imagining stories in my own mind. My therapist noted that I grew up where I had very little control over my own life, and made virtually no decisions for myself. In addition, my life was boring; no extra-curricular activities of any kind, no television, no outside influences of any kind. In this sheltered environment, my mind created its own entertainment and ended up developing a very active imagination. Although there was nothing psychotic about this, it did make it difficult for me later in life, when reality imposed upon my dream world, causing extreme disappointment.

As a teen and young adult, I was at a place to fully understand that submission to my father, my mother, my pastor, and my future husband would be my lot in life. At that point, I didn’t fully grasp what it could mean to me. I did chafe at some of the rules in my own mind, but then I would quickly repent of my “questioning” and ask God to help me to submit without an attitude or doubt, because I was taught that it was only true submission if you didn’t’ question or doubt, but you submitted your will completely. Although that phrase I just typed now gives me chills at how unhealthy it was, it was all I knew at the time, and being highly contentious, I wanted to please God.

Off to Bible School right out of home school graduation, I was like an innocent child turned loose in a public park — although we were still somewhat sheltered in the Bible school environment. My unquestioning submission took me right to the top of the class from the very first. One professor commented that this was because I knew how to obey and I took him at his word when he told the class what he expected.  He used my work as an example to the others. It was embarrassing, but it caused me to try even harder to please, because I felt I had reached the desired mark of submission in that moment and situation.

Another thing that happened at Bible school was that I was no longer under my father’s watchful eye, and boys were showing their interest for the first time in my life. Some of the young men at Bible School were very nice young men and went on to become preachers, pastors and missionaries. Others, however, were not respectful of women. My naivete was very marked, even in such a sheltered environment. I attracted the attention of a boy who I now feel was probably very experienced sexually and definitely had none of the naivete that I possessed. It is odd how one type of abuse conditions a person to attract other types of abuse. It is as if there was an invisible sign on me saying “I am open to abuse.” Even back then, I mostly attracted a dominant type. There was a lot of pressure from this boy to have sex with him, even though we were at Bible school. Finally, on one occasion I was terrified he was about to rape me. After that situation, I refused to go out with him again.  I was tired of fighting him off and begging him to stop short of his goal. Strangely, out of all the teaching we were receiving in Bible school, the one thing he picked up that he liked to use on me was “We don’t have rights. We only have responsibilities.” Another thing that strikes me is that I still remember that statement all these years later, though we dated only very briefly.

Back home with my family and at my home church, I threw myself into service within the local church. I played music, sang, led groups, and used my car to carry people to church. I refused to take a job that would make me miss any church, and I worked hard to submit to everything my pastor/dad preached. I wanted to move out and get my own home, since I had a full time job, but it was frowned upon, so I never even voiced the desire. Instead, like a good Pentecostal girl,  I dutifully went to every youth convention and worked hard to dress attractive and “holy” at the same time (a difficult feat sometimes). I was attracted to different young men, but I didn’t have very good social skills and was painfully shy, so I did not get noticed.

Finally, I met my soon to be husband. His family was even more strict than my own. They were in the same religion, but had a lot more rules. His social skills were even worse than mine, so we shyly began to communicate, then awkwardly date (always with a chaperone and never touching even so much as to hold hands–that was forbidden). Early in our formal dating, I told him that, as his girlfriend, I didn’t want to “bring shame on” his ministry, so I asked him to let me know if I was not following one of the “standards of holiness” that he preached, so that I could adjust my life to fit his. Part of the reason I did this was because I wanted to know his beliefs in full while we were dating, but I had also been taught that I should submit to the strictest of standards in such situations. A month or so later, after our engagement, his parents visited, and while they were there, he reminded me of my statement and told me my necklines were “too low.”

I put on the dresses he had criticized (or his family had criticized to him–it all amounted to the same thing) and got in front of a mirror in all kinds of contortions to see why he thought they were too low. Seeing nothing immodest, I went to my parents and did the same in front of them to see if they could see anything. They couldn’t either. I was bothered. I felt shamed and degraded. It didn’t make any logical sense. But, I wanted to be submissive to my husband in my upcoming marriage, so I prayed about it and raised the necklines.

After we were married, submission became even more of an excuse to abuse power. I soon received the message, delivered personally and in my face, that the Bible said that a wife could not deny her husband sex because it was a sin to do so. My parents had never taught me that–but they had laid a foundation of submission that created fertile soil for this teaching. It was my job to work hard to please my husband by running the home, keeping it clean, and providing good meals for him while keeping his sexual appetite filled. At the time, I was working a full time secular job and he was working part time at the church for “peanuts” as a salary. We were mostly living off of my income, and driving my car which was paid for. He was deeply in debt and not working outside of church. I would come home to filth and he’d been home all day. I was expected to clean everything up, do all the laundry, cook us supper, and still feel excited about having sex with him every night….because that was what submission was.

This set the tone for the rest of our marriage. If he said to spank one of our children for something that was developmentally appropriate, I had to do it in order to be submissive. If I didn’t obey in everything, I had a “spirit of rebellion” and I was a “nagging, unsubmissive wife.” If he told me not to yell out in fear while he was driving and I instinctively did it some time later, I was “not being obedient.”

He had told me, and it was my responsibility to obey.

When I had endometriosis that made it very painful to have intimate relations, he became angry that I didn’t want to go through that pain. I had a “spirit of rebellion” and was not willingly giving him his “just due.” So, I learned to grit my teeth through the pain and made a doctor’s appointment to get checked out as soon as possible. Soon I was feeling better, and things went back to the way they were. When he was ready to have a second child, it was really not for me to disagree. I wasn’t ready yet, but he was the “boss” so I felt I had to give in.

This was my life….. and so much more… for many years.  I stayed pregnant and had a house full of kids–all of whom I love very much.

Yet things got even worse. Part of his abuse to me was emotional/verbal abuse. He would tell me I was “stupid” and “you don’t know anything.” There were a myriad of other negative messages. Many of them were outright lies.  He blamed me for moving things he misplaced, for somehow causing him to overdraw the checking account, for having my fingers in the wrong place when he slammed a door on my hand, and on…and on…and on. Many times, immediately following an episode of extreme disrespect or hatefulness, without any kind of apology, he wanted to have sex. I hated those moments. I wanted it to be about love, mutual respect, kindness, and tenderness. Instead, it felt like prostitution. I felt like his property. He could yell at me, call me names, humiliate and put me down, and then have sex with me all in the same breath, and I had no say in any of it.

When I would complain and tell him how I felt, I would be accused of having a problem with discontentment, being “impossible to please,” or again, “the nagging wife,” the “unsubmissive wife” that was a “blight on her husband’s ministry.”

There were many times I laid in bed with silent tears running down my cheeks while he used my body. Sometimes he would waken me in the middle of the night out of a deep sleep and demand sex.  Once I pretended to be deeply asleep so he would leave me alone.  He sighed, then began to pray loudly for God to intervene in my soul. I felt like his prostitute; not his wife, to be loved and protected. I remember crying silent tears in the night because I wanted to be loved, I wanted to be cherished as a person and appreciated for who I was.

Going back and looking through my private journals during that time is very triggering for me. Between the heart breaking episodes I recorded, there would be “devotionals” about submission; about how to better respect my husband; about being a better wife and praying for him appropriately. The prayers I wrote down to God, asking him to help me to submit my will and not long for things that I didn’t have are right beside the art I drew to show how my heart had been shredded by the abusive treatment. I so wanted to be saved! Yet, I believed that anything less than total submission to the will of my husband would be displeasing to God, and ultimately cause me to be lost.

As I sat earlier this week in my counseling session and finally shared these events with the counselor I’ve been seeing for years, his response startled me. I had told him there was no sexual trauma in my past. My childhood was highly controlled and strict, but I’d not had any sexual abuse. He pointed out to me that, although it is great that my childhood didn’t contain sexual abuse, there is a history of sexual trauma in my life as an adult.

I responded that I’ve always told counselors “no” when they’ve asked if I was ever raped by my ex-husband.  told him “I wasn’t really raped, because I’d been taught I had to consent no matter what. It was said  that rape in a marriage was not possible. Maybe I am minimizing what happened to me, but I’m not sure it was rape.  I didn’t say ‘no.’ I submitted because I thought I had to do so to be saved.”

The therapist really emphasized to me that, no matter if you call it “rape” or “coercion,” or “dominance,” it all has the same effect in the end…it is sexual trauma. “Dominance was enacted upon you against your will, and that is traumatic.”

It was deeply thought provoking for me. The submission teaching was extremely dangerous and damaging.  No human being should EVER have to submit their will entirely to another human being–but that is what submission was to me at the time.

A few days ago I read a chapter in Dr. Bruce Perry’s book, The Boy Who was Raised as a Dog. He shares how his team was called to work with the children who were released from the Branch Davidian group in Waco. These children had been raised in a terribly damaging cult. Although that cult was much more controlling than my early life, there were some key elements that I could identify with. The author commented that these children had been “marinated in fear,” and he goes on to explain how continued fear tactics cause our brains to create too much cortisol (Perry, 2017). He describes how these children had great talent at artwork and other skills, such as reading. Many of them were extremely familiar with Bible passages, but had no idea how to make basic decisions, like what they wanted for dinner. They had not been allowed to figure out what they liked or didn’t like or even who they were individually (Perry, 2017).

In this way, I could identify with these children. In many aspects of life, we never had the option to decide things for ourselves. It was unheard of to even entertain the thought or possibility of being different from who we had been told we were. Our purpose was laid out before us by others, and we were told what to think, who to befriend, what to love, what to hate, how to dress, how to comb our hair, who to talk to, and who to avoid. Like the children Perry described, we viewed all outsiders as “unbelievers,” and therefore, anything they said was automatically suspect (Perry, 2017). Like those children were able to draw detailed drawings to represent their indoctrination and their collectivist society, yet unable to draw a self portrait; my life was also consumed with submission to norms of the group. I could recite chapters from the Bible and explain complex doctrines, yet had no idea who I was as an individual.

This is the trauma of submission.

It is not biblical.  In fact, a careful study of submission in the Bible will show that a mutual submission was taught. It never meant literally checking your brain at the door, like I was taught to do. Instead, it was submission in the sense of accepting others as they are and not trying to conform them to your will. It begs the question, how can so many concepts become so twisted in such environments, so that they end up teaching the exact opposite of their originally intended message?

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