Category: unhealthy churches | Page 152

Better Safe Than Sorry? Let Galatians Help! Pt. 2

Please see Part One.

Note how Paul explains in Galatians that the law is no longer needed and why this is true.

In chapter three, Paul shares how God went straight to Abraham with the promise (and believers are children of Abraham through faith). He goes on to say the law was given to Moses, who then was the mediator between God and the people. He contrasts this with God going directly to Abraham concerning the promise. The law was to remain only until the Messiah came. It did not make void the promise to Abraham, nor did it conflict with it.

We cannot be made righteous by keeping the law and we cannot receive God’s promise by obeying the law. The only way to receive the promise is to believe in Jesus Christ.

Get this next part- verse 23 (NLT): “Until faith in Christ was shown to us as the way of becoming right with God, we were guarded by the law. We were kept in protective custody, so to speak, until we could put our faith in the coming Savior.”

So, if the law was only to act as a guardian until Jesus came, why would we now need any other set of laws to ‘protect’ us or act as a fence to keep us safe?

Paul expounds in the next few verses: “Let me put it another way. The law was our guardian and teacher to lead us until Christ came. So now, through faith in Christ, we are made right with God. But now that faith in Christ has come, we no longer need the law as our guardian. So you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus.”

See it? Through faith. Through faith. Through faith. It is all through faith.

Remember where the Bible says that God will write his laws in our hearts? This ties in. That is why there is no need of a written set of laws. No church needs to add laws to act as a fence. There is no need of a fence. Gods ways are now written directly upon our hearts.

Think about it. Written laws do not change the person. The law did not make the people right with God by obeying it. It didn’t change them inside. No list of rules is going to change us, either. But when God places His ways in our hearts, they become part of us. We are no longer just following a set of laws or rules. We do the things we do because God’s Spirit is living inside us and directing us. He has become a part of us, leading and guiding us.

So when we decide to revert to trusting in and following a list of rules to make us right before God, are we not actually rejecting what God has already done for us and given us? Are we not saying to His Spirit that His ways being written on our hearts is not enough? Are we not saying that we are better off taking charge ourselves and we will make sure we are right before Him through our works? Isn’t this why Paul feared in chapter four that his work with the Galatians could be in vain?

A performance oriented church will say it’s not about rules, but they do teach rules. And they teach fear, whether they realize it or not. I have probably said it hundreds of times that fear permeates the teachings. There is always something more, something else, some other way we come up short. And that will always happen when we are pulled into performance based living.

This thing about works- when God’s Spirit comes into our hearts, we will want to do the things of God. So when we read in the Bible where we are told to be water baptized, for example, we will want to be baptized. Not because it is a law; not because we think we’ll be lost if we don’t. We do it because it has been placed in our heart. It is God’s will. He writes those things in our hearts. We do works because we love the Lord. We show our faith through our works (actions). Yet we are not saved through those things and we do not keep ourselves in right standing with God by doing them.

On the cross Jesus said it was finished. Either it is finished or it is not. Either He paid the full price for our sins or we still owe something. Either we have His righteousness by faith or we try and earn it by our works (which cannot be done- thus the continual frustration!).

“So now, through faith in Christ, we are made right with God.”

I highly encourage everyone who has been in an unhealthy church to read and meditate upon the book of Galatians. It will help you to break free from the performance trap and the thinking that it is better to be safe than sorry. Aren’t you tired of all the striving and worrying and periodically feeling unsure of your salvation?

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Better Safe Than Sorry? Let Galatians Help! Pt. 1

For those who may yet be struggling with all the rules which are often passed off as representative of holiness, I want to share and encourage you to sit down and read through the book of Galatians. Perhaps do this several times and with different Bible versions. In another writing, Does Salvation Come And Go, this line of thinking was mentioned.

How these rules are taught varies greatly from church to church. What really distresses me is when I see people write on various forums that “it’s better to be safe than sorry” in regard to outward standards or other church rules.

What this says is that they don’t know for sure if the teachings are necessary in order to remain saved, so they will abide to be on the safe side. For them, it would be better to follow and find they were not mandated by God, than to not follow them and find they were necessary in order to make it to heaven. What is one more rule when you believe your eternal destination is at stake? For many, there is no long lasting sense of security when living in this manner. Most will slip up and break a rule here and there in a weak moment.

That mindset is so sad. People are believing that perhaps God may be hiding something pertaining to salvation and so they better play it safe and do what is taught, even though they obviously don’t see [whatever the teaching is] as biblical. It has been instilled in them to obey the pastor. Perhaps there may somehow be ‘fine print’ in the Bible that they don’t see, like what some businesses attempt to hide in contracts.

I mention reading Galatians because Paul addresses the problem of them starting out their walk with God by faith and then later becoming entangled with works. The Galatians believers were now trusting in those works to make them right before God. He brought to their remembrance how Abraham believed God, and that was credited to him as righteousness.

I want you to think about what I am going to share and let it sink in. This is what some do who elevate what is often termed holiness standards. Consider the following scenario.

How would you feel if you found out your child (or sibling, or anyone else you loved) was doing certain things because they felt that by doing so they would gain your favor and love? They feel they must perform just right in order to have your love. By cleaning their room, taking out the trash or doing well at school (or put just about anything in here), they think these things could bring them in right standing with you and you’d love them or would love them more. They feel if they fail to perform, you might cause them harm, even kill them, or kick them out of your life. Would you not be mortified to discover your child viewed you in this manner?

They don’t understand they have your love already- with or without doing these things. These acts don’t cause you to love your child more. While you may be glad, or thankful that they obeyed you or excelled at something, your love for them doesn’t hinge on these things.

Now tie this same thought to our walk with God. How it must pain the Lord to see His children trying to earn His love and favor. He *already* loves them and *already* accepts them. He has already given them His Spirit as a pledge of their inheritance. Think about it. Was the atoning sacrifice of Jesus so that he could give us another set of laws like in the Old Testament- taste not and touch not?

Many in unhealthy churches feel that by doing certain things it will keep them in God’s favor- or at least cause Him to not harm them. Do you have a false image of God holding a baseball bat, ready and eager to whop you at the first hint of anything done wrong? That is what being in an unhealthy church will do to you.

If while we did not know God- if while we were enemies and not following God- if while we were without God, He cared for us so much that Jesus took all our sins upon Himself and then offered His righteousness to us in exchange….why do we get this idea that somehow through certain actions we can cause ourselves to be righteous before God? Or cause Him to love and accept us?

What happens in many performance oriented churches is that our faith lets go of Christ and starts to hope and trust in our works. This is what the Galatians did. They had received the Spirit by faith, but now felt they must do things to be made right in God’s sight. They were trying to find favor with God by what they did or didn’t do. They were trying to become perfect by their own human effort. It doesn’t work.

I want to share how the New Living Translation puts this passage in Galatians 6:12 & 13. “Those who are trying to force you to be circumcised are doing it for just one reason. They don’t want to be persecuted for teaching that the cross of Christ alone can save. And even those who advocate circumcision don’t really keep the whole law. They only want you to be circumcised so they can brag about it and claim you as their disciples.“

Read that a few times and see if you don’t see similarities with a performance based church.

See Part Two.

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‘God Is Against You’ He Shouted!

“If you believe trinitarians are saved…God is against you.

“…If you deny a holiness message of separation from the world in dress and conduct…then God is against you.

“If you wear jewelry or condone it….God is against you.

“If you condone women cutting their hair or men growing long hair….God is against you.”

You can read more of this diatribe in the photo.

"God is against you!" shouts the Oneness Pentecostal man. — “God is against you!” shouts the Oneness Pentecostal man.

Such is what I stumbled across today as I glanced at an Apostolic discussion board. I am so thankful and glad to be away from this type of teaching.

He started his post by quoting two passages: Jeremiah 23:32 & Galatians 1:8. (This is the only part of the post not seen in the screenshot.) He used these to justify all his “God is against you” statements. What a message of love he shared! Can’t you just feel it? Don’t you want to dash out and visit his church? No wonder people in unhealthy churches develop a distorted view of God.

I am reminded of the believers in Corinth in New Testament times. Oh, did they have problems. They were carnal and divisive. Spiritual gifts were misused and there was sin among them, including sexual immorality. They were worldly and some were arrogant.

Yet Paul in his two letters to them never started shouting and naming a dozen or more ways in which God was against them. He tried to correct and teach them in love. It wasn’t about shaming them or tearing them down. He wanted to build them up and help them to see their place in the body of Christ.

To me, the harshest words in the New Testament were made by Jesus to the religious hypocrites. He told people to beware of the hypocrisy of the Pharisees. They were the separated ones; people who appeared to be religious and following God but inside they were dead. They wanted to stand apart from others in their manner of dress and where they sat. While they prayed and looked toward the heavens, they looked down upon the publican who knew their spiritual condition, and described to God the ways in which they were holier and better than him.

The author of that post should spend some time meditating about the passage immediately before the one he quoted in Jeremiah: “Behold, I am against the prophets,” declares the LORD, “who use their tongues and declare, ‘The Lord declares.’ (NASB)

Colossians 4:5 Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. 6 Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. (NLT)

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A wayfaring man though a fool

Right after high school, I attended a UPC (United Pentecostal Church) Bible school. One lesson I remember was about the UPC oneness doctrine. S.G. Norris taught us to believe it by ‘revelation’; however, if we didn’t yet have the revelation, then we should just take it by faith until the revelation came because “obedience is better than sacrifice.”

Well, most of us were young, altruistic, very impressionable and looking for something to believe in. Many of our age-mates were buying into Hare Krishna, the Moonies, becoming a hippie, anything to give them the feeling of being important, on the cutting edge, far out . . . . . Believing the UPC ‘revelation’ was also a bit far out and cutting edge (after all this doctrine was only a couple of decades into existence at this time, Pentecost was not even old enough to be an antique yet) and it was also pretty safe –at least not likely to be physically harmful. So we gave ourselves passionately to this revelation or heresy depending on your viewpoint.

Years later, I graduated secular college. One lesson I remember from there was about logic, how you can fool all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, but you just can’t fool ALL of the people ALL of the time. The problem with logic was that no matter how illogical something might be on the surface, our human brains seemed to be wired so that we could twist them into believing even the most ridiculous dogma –for those of you who took humanities, think Jar Boy.

So, how does one decide what to believe?? My UPC pastor at the time said he could ‘argue all sides of almost any issue’. Today his UPC church has ‘levels of salvation.’

My then teenage son lamented “why doesn’t God just give us a specific list of rules?” My answer at the time was that God wanted us to have the pleasure of working it out using his instruction book, the Bible. I still think that is not too bad of an answer.

So if the plan of salvation is so simple that “a wayfaring man, though a fool need not err therein” why do we have a gazillion books and thousands of religions to explain it?? If God knows the ending from the beginning, why did he start with the LAW?? Why didn’t he just start with Christ and be done with it and not put humanity through all this angst?? Why did He need the OT (Old Testament)??

My thoughts:

The plan of salvation is truly very simple –Christ died as an atonement for man and anyone who believes has hope of salvation. So why is that so hard? That is so hard because human beings want to somehow be in charge, in the know, important, make up the rules, be in charge of the rules, etc. We can take any number of very simple tasks and write a thousand page manual.

So why did God make us this way? He could have made us more simple, more obedient, less questioning, less thoughtful. Well, that is an easy one — we are made in the image of God and even we understand the value of love that is not coerced, not paid for, not robotic. So God made us complicated beings for His pleasure – hey, He’s God, I have no problem with that.

Now back to the original question – why didn’t he just give us Christ from the beginning and save us all the OT angst? Why did He need the OT?

He didn’t need the OT, we did!

Because we would not have understood the value of Christ without what preceded Him. We have to have the LAW, the failures, the successes, the hopes, the dreams, the prophets, the kings, the priest, the plans, the fanfare to even begin to comprehend the value of the simplicity of a salvation so simple that even a “wayfaring man, though a fool need not err therein”.

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We Find A Hometown

For two years my husband was mostly in military hospitals with only a few weekend passes and I was either in TLQs, staying with family or in rental homes where I could ‘work out’ the rent by fixing up the places. We had three small children and no paycheck because he wouldn’t agree to sign a release for ‘severance’ pay, even though they offered up to $200,000, which at that time was a small fortune. He was wise enough to know that in his condition that wouldn’t last long—I was ready to take the money and take our chances –he was much wiser than I. Most weeks, our only income was $40 the Red Cross would give us for food. I spent $19 on Christmas that year, buying used FP toys and cleaning them with bleach –the kids thought it was a great Christmas. 🙂

Finally, after two years, the USAF put him on TDRL and gave us two years of ‘back pay’ which was several thousand dollars. We moved to the town we lived in until recently because it was close to medical facilities and the climate and area was good for the disabled. We bought a house. Eventually, my husband was put on the permanent and totally disabled list and everything pretty much stabilized –still lots of medical junk going on even today, but life did become more normal and we had a nice income, free medical, benefits, etc.

After a long drama, we finally began to live again, albeit a very different life. Hiding his hip to foot brace under his pants and removable back brace under his shirt, few people were totally aware of my husband’s condition; the kids were always a bit surprised when someone said something about him being disabled, they truly never realized he was.

For several years we went to a pretty normal UPC (United Pentecostal Church) church. The pastor was originally from my home state of Ohio and for the most part wasn’t a bad guy. There were a few incidents, like the time I developed numerous boils. I had never had a boil in my life and these were huge painful ones that put me in the hospital. The pastor in all seriousness told me ‘some people’ felt boils were a sign of sin in one’s life. I am not kidding! We called him a ‘Job’s comforter’ hahaha. One of the doctors thought it might be something in the city water that I couldn’t tolerate and we bought a water system for the house. The boils disappeared and even though we later moved and didn’t have a water system, they never came back. We do drink bottled water and have a filter on the fridge though —just don’t ever want to go through that again!

There were upsets in the church and good friends left (we had no involvement and stayed) but things were never the same after –people became paranoid and things were always tense. We bought a nicer house in a better neighborhood and changed to a different, closer UPC church. We didn’t ask for a letter and had no issues so were pretty much accepted at the new church, but it really didn’t surprise me that we seemed to no longer exist for the friends left at the old church. We had found this to be an expected UPC experience. (Another person recently blogged about the loss of friendships.)

We stayed at this church for several years also; in both churches, we did outreach, taught Sunday School, were totally involved, but in the new church even after several years we had no real friends. Our kids were cute, bright, sweet, well behaved and popular first in their home school groups and then in public high school, winning lots of awards, being president of clubs like National Honor Society and Mu Alpha Theta, Beta Club, Key Club, etc., but inexplicably were never accepted at church. It wasn’t the standards, at this time, we followed them more closely than most of the church. It wasn’t their personalities; our house was always full of their friends, just not generally friends from church.

They were baptized and had the Holy Ghost from an early age. They went to the church camp each summer and participated in all the children’s and youth activities but were never accepted. In talking to other parents later, we found that very few kids in this large church felt ‘accepted’ and most are not in church today at all.

When my son started college on the other side of town, we moved and began attending a small UPC church that was frowned upon by churches in the area because of their lack of ‘standards’. By this time, our standards were slipping a bit, mostly because my daughter and I had done the ‘read the Bible through in a year’ program a couple of times and discovered that some of this stuff wasn’t in there. LOL

I went back to college when she did and we graduated together in 2000. My husband and I were fine with the little non-conventional church. It was kind of like a mission church with no formality and though we participated and helped out a lot, we didn’t really make any close friends, we really just didn’t have much in common with anyone, but I traveled a lot for work and we were fine with everything. The kids married and my son and his wife moved to another state to do church work at a college.

My daughter started a family and then when my grandson was two and there were no activities at the church for him, my daughter and son-in-law wanted to go to another UPC church with more kids and activities. Of course, we were sticking with the grand kids. The new church was known for very strict standards and my husband and I thought this was not a good idea, but decided to go ahead and give it a try. At first it was OK –the kids and grand kids were a great ‘catch’ for this church and though they hadn’t come with a letter of permission, it was obvious the pastor wanted to accept them (they were and are nice looking, bright, educated, successful, what’s not to like hahaha).

We knew the drill, so my husband and I just played nice and ‘attended’ when we were in town. For three years the kids tried to belong, but without changing considerably –they didn’t make the changes of no more trimming hair or pants or makeup for my daughter, no more shorts, movies, etc. for my son-in-law– so they were not allowed to participate or ‘use their talents’.

They went to ‘discipleship’ classes that the whole church was asked to attend. My husband and I passed on these –been there, done that. Finally, they were asked to ‘sign a contract‘ stating they would follow all these ‘holiness’ standards to be a ‘real’ member of this church. That was kind of the end for all of us. My husband and I weren’t even asked to sign, I think it was pretty obvious we weren’t interested.

The pastor told my husband that cutting my hair was a ‘heaven or hell’ issue. My macho husband told him that how I looked was not the business of any man but him! hahaha I really love this guy.

At this point we thought we would just trot right back to the little non-conventional church and my husband called the pastor and was assured they would be very happy to have us back. My husband told him to ‘think about it’ and then let us know; we just didn’t want to cause anyone any problems. A couple of days later this pastor called and rambled on, barely taking a breath about why we were not welcome back –I at first thought it was a recorded message because it didn’t sound real. We were having a family get together and it was hard to hear the message (my husband just brought the phone in and before we realized what was going on, it was over and the pastor had said goodbye and hung up). We all sat there kind of dumbfounded asking each other –what in the world was that all about????

My son-in-law called both pastors to try to get an answer. Both wanted he and my daughter-in-law to come back –one with definite standards requirements, the other kind of ‘who knows what’ but made it clear that neither church wanted me or my husband. OK, this was definitely new; we should have been upset or hurt or something but so far, we just feel kind of a relief that we don’t have to keep trying to make these churches work.

We have been through an awful lot in our lifetime; this blog has many blank spaces because our story would fill a book. We know who we are, we are happily married, we love God, we have great kids and adorable, brilliant, beautiful, sweet grand kids LOL. We have good friends, just mostly not in UPC. I have a great job and my husband loves traveling with me. We also have an adopted 20 year old daughter that I haven’t even discussed here –she would rotate between our house and my bio kids houses and is a happy, well adjusted, very sweet kid.

Life is good. Eventually we will find a group of people in a church we can attend and enjoy. No hurry.

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