Category: unhealthy churches | Page 151

Questions with crazy answers

When I was young, I asked my (pastor’s wife) mom:

“Why do the most sinful people in the church speak in tongues and dance the most?”
Answer: I guess God knows they need more strength so he blesses them more.

“Why do people in other churches seem so much happier and nicer than our church people?”
Answer: I guess the devil doesn’t bother them so much since he knows they are already lost.

Now that I am older than she was then, I am guessing my mom probably wondered the same things and was just trying to give me answers that would keep me in church and she probably did not know or didn’t want to know the true answers herself.

So why are people not in UPC happier and nicer?? Because they are not in bondage; they are free to enjoy the joy of the Lord without condemnation. As for the dancing, tongue talking sinners, we all can guess what that answer should have been . . . . . 🙂

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Don’t You Wear That Jewelry

I noticed a woman who appeared to be a sister in the Lord. Preparing to greet her, I stopped short upon catching sight of earrings dangling from her ears. Pierced ears identified her allegiance and revealed the influence that held sway in her life.

– Ruth Harvey in Reflecting The Glory

Many unhealthy churches teach that jewelry is wrong to wear. Some teach that its use brings about vanity and pride, calling attention to the wearer. Ruth Harvey gives it a twist. For those unaware, Ruth is a United Pentecostal Church minister, though she wasn’t licensed when she wrote this book. Perhaps she never looked into her organization’s history to see that some women, such as Ethel Goss, Nell Morgan and Olive Haney, did wear jewelry. Her teaching on the subject has branded them and many others as under the influence of the devil.

Ruth claims that “precious stones were initially created for the express purpose of reflecting God’s glory. When Lucifer was cast as profane from the mountain of God, jewels ceased to be a medium whereby God reflected His glory. After his expulsion from Heaven, satan used jewelry to effect his influence in the earth.” She shares no scripture to lend support to these claims.

Interestingly, Ruth neglects to disclose how God’s people are seen wearing or being given jewelry in the Bible. (This is a good example of why I stress the need to look into what the ‘whole’ or all of the Bible teaches on a matter.) For instance, when Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for Isaac, he gave Rebekah and her family jewelry made of gold and silver (Genesis 24). In the book of Exodus, the Israelites are given all manner of silver and gold jewelry and later at least some gave these as a free offering to God, to be used in the construction of the tabernacle and things related to it. There are other references to jewelry that show it was freely used.

Instead she shares about seeing a woman who was talking to herself, dressed in what she considered to be a “bizarre” manner. All her jewelry is mentioned. It is claimed the woman was demon possessed and the impression given is that the jewelry was tied to it. She proclaimed “her captivity was disclosed in the magnitude of jewelry that she wore.” The message is clear. One risks being possessed should they wear jewelry and the more you wear, the more “control of our lives” the devil will have.

What can we conclude? Though Ruth speaks against the use of any jewelry, she was unable to share even one passage stating God is against its use. Instead of not greeting the woman who was wearing earrings, she judged her as being influenced by the devil, and never tried talking to her to discover who she really was.

Ruth’s teaching is one of the more far-fetched I have seen in the attempts by some to persuade people to not wear jewelry. No matter how hard one searches, they will find no prohibition of jewelry in the Bible. No, not even 1 Peter 3:3 or 1 Timothy 2:9. And if it is wrong to use jewelry because it brings attention to the person, then wouldn’t wearing feathers, scarves and bows do the same (things Ruth herself has worn)?

Those who have had this prohibition ingrained in them can break free from the fear and erroneous teaching. I suggest using a concordance to look up everywhere that jewelry is mentioned in scripture. You will discover passages which show it being used and nothing stating God forbids it.

Some who discover the truth about the teaching may never wear any jewelry and that is perfectly fine. Others have had fun trying different pieces and learning their likes and dislikes.

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What’s the attraction ‘Then and Now?’

I can’t help but wonder how my fairly bright, for the most part- honest, kind, compassionate, hard working – family got so enmeshed in this out of the mainstream religious group.

Here’s what I came up with:

My paternal grandfather died very young, leaving my grandmother with 13 children to rear during the depression, my father was next to the youngest at 5 years old. My grandmother was a big woman (I am 5’10” and have had aunts also this tall) stern, honest, religious –a very strong woman (she had to be). She was a Methodist, back when the Methodist also ‘shouted their hair down’.

From what I have learned, this Oneness group started out with a great deal of emotion, caring, and a desire to get as close to God as possible, but without a lot of the legalism now such a big part of it. I can see how the early Pentecostal group would be attractive to a single Mom with almost nothing to call her own and 13 kids to care for.

I remember stories of her praying while bags of groceries magically appeared on her porch and praying for money for shoes for her kids and finding a couple of dollars in the ditch beside the road. I also heard stories of her whipping the kids with a razor strap on their bare behinds –they could not afford pajamas or underwear so slept nude and were a prime target for discipline at nite. My dad says he immediately started bawling and did not get whipped as hard as his stoic older brother. Four of her five sons became Oneness preachers. One a National foreign missions director, one a state district superintendent for over 20 years, one a lifetime minister who started 3 churches, one (the youngest) a local minister. Admittedly, they were ALJC (Assemblies of the Lord Jesus Christ), not UPC (United Pentecostal Church) –not sure even Grandma would accept the legalism of today’s group. She was killed in a train accident when I was 10 years old so I guess I’ll never know how she would have felt about all the changes.

My maternal grandmother also lost her husband early on; my mother was 16 when her dad died of a stroke. Neither grandfather had been in the church. My maternal grandmother was very short (under 5′ tall). She was very kind, sweet, loving. She had come into Oneness with her own mother when my mom (her youngest) was around 6 and my grandfather was being a bit of a womanizer; supposedly my mom has a sister about her age somewhere. He was also a non practicing Catholic and there was almost no contact with his side of the family b/c of the difference in religion. So, I can see this kind, sweet, grandmother being led into this with her mother, seeking peace from a difficult life. As a child, I sensed she didn’t buy into some of the ‘rules‘, suggesting I needed a haircut (at least bangs) and buying me pants to wear in the cold weather and shorts or pedal pushers in summer.

So that’s where it started for us. My family had a bit of drive and made a place for themselves in the churches; this encouraged their children in turn to remain where there was a sense of belonging and maybe a bit of importance. Later, some were successful in business and/or education and they tended to not stay so close to the group. By the 3rd generation, many were no longer in the group –some had switched to UPC (more power, more people, etc.), some stayed in ALJC (either out of loyalty, or to remain significant). Some opted out altogether but tended to not go to church anywhere else and just attend the group church occasionally –it is difficult to accept somewhere else when you have been indoctrinated so intensely. By the 4th generation, the group was losing ground and only the diehards were staying, but this is a big family and a not so big organization, so it is still easy to find someone in the organization that knows someone in the family, particularly in the ALJC.

So, I have answered my question, “how did my family get sucked into this?” I was one who stayed longer b/c I am typically pretty loyal and obedient but also b/c I gave myself and my family a bit of lenience with some of the rules throughout the years.

If we had never been born into this and my grandparents lived today never having heard of this, I would like to think there would not be ANY of us in this today.

Why would anyone want to be a part of this? I guess it is b/c it is promoted as a way to draw closer to God and also a way that one can actually do something important or be someone important –after we are ‘King’s Kids’.

Hopefully, now that I have gotten that out of my system, I can keep moving forward in God’s grace without the baggage – maybe.

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Better Safe Than Sorry? Let Galatians Help! Pt. 2

Please see Part One.

Note how Paul explains in Galatians that the law is no longer needed and why this is true.

In chapter three, Paul shares how God went straight to Abraham with the promise (and believers are children of Abraham through faith). He goes on to say the law was given to Moses, who then was the mediator between God and the people. He contrasts this with God going directly to Abraham concerning the promise. The law was to remain only until the Messiah came. It did not make void the promise to Abraham, nor did it conflict with it.

We cannot be made righteous by keeping the law and we cannot receive God’s promise by obeying the law. The only way to receive the promise is to believe in Jesus Christ.

Get this next part- verse 23 (NLT): “Until faith in Christ was shown to us as the way of becoming right with God, we were guarded by the law. We were kept in protective custody, so to speak, until we could put our faith in the coming Savior.”

So, if the law was only to act as a guardian until Jesus came, why would we now need any other set of laws to ‘protect’ us or act as a fence to keep us safe?

Paul expounds in the next few verses: “Let me put it another way. The law was our guardian and teacher to lead us until Christ came. So now, through faith in Christ, we are made right with God. But now that faith in Christ has come, we no longer need the law as our guardian. So you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus.”

See it? Through faith. Through faith. Through faith. It is all through faith.

Remember where the Bible says that God will write his laws in our hearts? This ties in. That is why there is no need of a written set of laws. No church needs to add laws to act as a fence. There is no need of a fence. Gods ways are now written directly upon our hearts.

Think about it. Written laws do not change the person. The law did not make the people right with God by obeying it. It didn’t change them inside. No list of rules is going to change us, either. But when God places His ways in our hearts, they become part of us. We are no longer just following a set of laws or rules. We do the things we do because God’s Spirit is living inside us and directing us. He has become a part of us, leading and guiding us.

So when we decide to revert to trusting in and following a list of rules to make us right before God, are we not actually rejecting what God has already done for us and given us? Are we not saying to His Spirit that His ways being written on our hearts is not enough? Are we not saying that we are better off taking charge ourselves and we will make sure we are right before Him through our works? Isn’t this why Paul feared in chapter four that his work with the Galatians could be in vain?

A performance oriented church will say it’s not about rules, but they do teach rules. And they teach fear, whether they realize it or not. I have probably said it hundreds of times that fear permeates the teachings. There is always something more, something else, some other way we come up short. And that will always happen when we are pulled into performance based living.

This thing about works- when God’s Spirit comes into our hearts, we will want to do the things of God. So when we read in the Bible where we are told to be water baptized, for example, we will want to be baptized. Not because it is a law; not because we think we’ll be lost if we don’t. We do it because it has been placed in our heart. It is God’s will. He writes those things in our hearts. We do works because we love the Lord. We show our faith through our works (actions). Yet we are not saved through those things and we do not keep ourselves in right standing with God by doing them.

On the cross Jesus said it was finished. Either it is finished or it is not. Either He paid the full price for our sins or we still owe something. Either we have His righteousness by faith or we try and earn it by our works (which cannot be done- thus the continual frustration!).

“So now, through faith in Christ, we are made right with God.”

I highly encourage everyone who has been in an unhealthy church to read and meditate upon the book of Galatians. It will help you to break free from the performance trap and the thinking that it is better to be safe than sorry. Aren’t you tired of all the striving and worrying and periodically feeling unsure of your salvation?

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Better Safe Than Sorry? Let Galatians Help! Pt. 1

For those who may yet be struggling with all the rules which are often passed off as representative of holiness, I want to share and encourage you to sit down and read through the book of Galatians. Perhaps do this several times and with different Bible versions. In another writing, Does Salvation Come And Go, this line of thinking was mentioned.

How these rules are taught varies greatly from church to church. What really distresses me is when I see people write on various forums that “it’s better to be safe than sorry” in regard to outward standards or other church rules.

What this says is that they don’t know for sure if the teachings are necessary in order to remain saved, so they will abide to be on the safe side. For them, it would be better to follow and find they were not mandated by God, than to not follow them and find they were necessary in order to make it to heaven. What is one more rule when you believe your eternal destination is at stake? For many, there is no long lasting sense of security when living in this manner. Most will slip up and break a rule here and there in a weak moment.

That mindset is so sad. People are believing that perhaps God may be hiding something pertaining to salvation and so they better play it safe and do what is taught, even though they obviously don’t see [whatever the teaching is] as biblical. It has been instilled in them to obey the pastor. Perhaps there may somehow be ‘fine print’ in the Bible that they don’t see, like what some businesses attempt to hide in contracts.

I mention reading Galatians because Paul addresses the problem of them starting out their walk with God by faith and then later becoming entangled with works. The Galatians believers were now trusting in those works to make them right before God. He brought to their remembrance how Abraham believed God, and that was credited to him as righteousness.

I want you to think about what I am going to share and let it sink in. This is what some do who elevate what is often termed holiness standards. Consider the following scenario.

How would you feel if you found out your child (or sibling, or anyone else you loved) was doing certain things because they felt that by doing so they would gain your favor and love? They feel they must perform just right in order to have your love. By cleaning their room, taking out the trash or doing well at school (or put just about anything in here), they think these things could bring them in right standing with you and you’d love them or would love them more. They feel if they fail to perform, you might cause them harm, even kill them, or kick them out of your life. Would you not be mortified to discover your child viewed you in this manner?

They don’t understand they have your love already- with or without doing these things. These acts don’t cause you to love your child more. While you may be glad, or thankful that they obeyed you or excelled at something, your love for them doesn’t hinge on these things.

Now tie this same thought to our walk with God. How it must pain the Lord to see His children trying to earn His love and favor. He *already* loves them and *already* accepts them. He has already given them His Spirit as a pledge of their inheritance. Think about it. Was the atoning sacrifice of Jesus so that he could give us another set of laws like in the Old Testament- taste not and touch not?

Many in unhealthy churches feel that by doing certain things it will keep them in God’s favor- or at least cause Him to not harm them. Do you have a false image of God holding a baseball bat, ready and eager to whop you at the first hint of anything done wrong? That is what being in an unhealthy church will do to you.

If while we did not know God- if while we were enemies and not following God- if while we were without God, He cared for us so much that Jesus took all our sins upon Himself and then offered His righteousness to us in exchange….why do we get this idea that somehow through certain actions we can cause ourselves to be righteous before God? Or cause Him to love and accept us?

What happens in many performance oriented churches is that our faith lets go of Christ and starts to hope and trust in our works. This is what the Galatians did. They had received the Spirit by faith, but now felt they must do things to be made right in God’s sight. They were trying to find favor with God by what they did or didn’t do. They were trying to become perfect by their own human effort. It doesn’t work.

I want to share how the New Living Translation puts this passage in Galatians 6:12 & 13. “Those who are trying to force you to be circumcised are doing it for just one reason. They don’t want to be persecuted for teaching that the cross of Christ alone can save. And even those who advocate circumcision don’t really keep the whole law. They only want you to be circumcised so they can brag about it and claim you as their disciples.“

Read that a few times and see if you don’t see similarities with a performance based church.

See Part Two.

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