Category: legalism | Page 10 | Spiritual Abuse Blogs

Getting Out the Old Books: Guardians of His Glory by Gary & Linda Reed

I always find it fascinating how the issue of control comes out in a supposed form of submission. This is evident in the uncut hair issue and I will demonstrate this with quotes from the booklet Guardians of His Glory by Linda and Gary Reed.

The booklet starts out talking about Lucifer and his fall to give a foundation for the rest of the booklet. After talking about Lucifer they write “In the same manner, a wandering star in the kingdom of God spirals out of control.” (pg 7) There is a lot of talk about wickedness, hell, deception. “Beauty queens will appear in this performance as nightmarish monsters….sinners and hypocrites will be tortured together…” (pg 10) This sets a foundation of fear.

Later, it talks about being a chosen generation and a royal priesthood. It talks about how we can “shine or irradiate others, as the glory and power of God’s electromagnetic radiation is refracted in our lives….let us leave illusion and self deception…then we will truly be refractors of His glory!” (pg 22).

As many of the books that we have looked at, a foundation of fear is set and then a way to escape the wrath of God…..if you follow the writer’s teaching.

Chapter three begins with talking about not being unequally yoked with unbelievers and the power of holiness. It talks about setting “boundaries on our flesh”. (pg 23) Here is where they begin to talk about a woman’s hair. “The woman’s authority from God is symbolized by her personal glory-her long uncut hair……the entire spectra of God’s glory on earth is clouded when women cut their hair….” (pg 25)

It would appear that they try to address some previous teachings (no name is mentioned but I think I know!) when they say “Some teach that we, human beings, have replaced these guardians of God’s glory of God in their homes. This is not substantiated by scripture….” (pg 26)

Here is where the issue of control begins to be addressed. “Women have always sought control. In centuries past they were subservient to men…through witchcraft they (pagan cultures) obtained control of kingdoms…they learned how to reverse God’s divine order….(pg 27)…they shaved their heads…abortion and infanticide were regularly practiced…women…have used sex to wield power over men…(pg 28)

Now pay attention here: “Women do not need the use of perversion to manipulate their surroundings. For God has given women a way to control their environment without sin. God put women in the middle for a reason…she has the unique ability to mediate and resolve problems. Yet many in-between women are not in control of their situations simply because they are ignorant of God’s endowment. When a woman submits to God’s precepts she will find a channel to glory…..He will make a way where there seems to be no way!” What??? So, if a woman desires to control and manipulate, she should not do it by sex or witchcraft but by not cutting her hair?? Amazing! Confounding!!

They go on about how women can have “power”! Power on her head because of the angels! The word power-exousia means “Force-Capacity-Competency-Freedom and Mastery” When a godly woman (read-woman who does not cut her hair!) is at her wits end, feels totally inadequate, needs protection and power and is threatened with bondage…when she faces Satan’s forces, she becomes a superwoman! “If women only knew what power they would possess by accepting God’s plan, they would readily accept it”! (pg 30) Astounding! If you feel out of control…here is a way you can have power and control! Don’t cut your hair! This issue is not about submission. It’s about power and control.

Then, the scary stories ensue about a girl who went insane when a father pushed a girl into the barber’s chair. “When he finished the girl literally went insane, as evil spirits took control of her youthful mind and body.” (pg 30)

“A woman’s uncut hair creates a channel of glory in which the angels are empowered to minister. Women especially need an escape valve. This channel is a spiritual hotline to glory. Wow!” (pg 30-31)

The booklet wraps up with more supposedly convincing arguments.

Do you see how this message could really be enticing to a woman who feels out of control in her life? All she has to do is stop cutting her hair and she will have power and control! This is really dangerous because instead of working towards a true and positive solution for real problems, a woman’s energy is diverted into “long hair” and the belief that it gives her some special power. So, how does a sign that is supposed to be about submission (according to United Pentecostal Church theology) turn into one of power and control? I think the whole thing is about power and control from beginning to end.

I have provided photos of four pages. Page 27, page 28, page 29, page 30.

(Written for the Facebook group Breaking Out.)

Getting Out the Old Books: The Literal Word by M.D. Treece
Getting Out the Old Books: Guardians of His Glory by Gary & Linda Reed
Getting Out the Old Books: David F. Gray
Getting Out the Old Books: Joy Haney
Getting Out The Old Books: Larry L. Booker
Getting Out the Old Books: Power Before the Throne
Getting Out the Newer Books: Wholly Holy: The Vital Role of Visible Devotion
Search For Truth On Holiness

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UPC Unpardonable Part 2

Continued…

Well sure enough, we got a call from the assistant pastor to come into his office before church the following Sunday night. The pastor was out of town but was grooming his son to take over the church and since he came on board, the church took on a stricter tone. One night, he was preaching and began boasting about measuring his wife’s hair and how long it was. I remember being sickened by this talk. I knew God was bigger than the length of my hair! We went in to see him that evening and he told us due to the fact that I had cut my daughter’s hair, my husband would have to step down from his position in the church leadership and I could no longer teach Sunday school. You can call me naïve or stupid, yes, I admit to being both concerning what would happen if I broke the rules or maybe, by this time, I just didn’t care.

Now, during this period of my life, I was just beginning to hear the message of God’s grace. I heard the story of the woman caught in adultery and how Jesus told her “to go and sin no more!” One of the grace filled preachers I was listening to on the radio put it like this “the only one worthy to condemn you, won’t.” I was not stepping down without speaking my mind, so I pulled out some of my new found grace speak. I told the assistant pastor that I felt like the woman caught in adultery except instead of “saying, go and sin no more, you are saying pick up the stones and throw them.” He did not like my protests and insubordination, it was plain to see. To reinforce his position of dismissal, he told me that he knew of my past experience with scissors in cutting my oldest daughter’s hair. Then he proceeded to tell me that cutting my suffering baby’s (not even two years old) hair was just as bad as if I had given her alcohol and cigarettes! (In a works based church, alcohol and cigarettes rank right up there with lying, cheating, and stealing.) Yes, that I had harmed her in the same way as if I had given her abusive substances! It is interesting to note here: the senior pastor called me when he got back in town and told me that he would never have done what his son did!?!

We left church after the meeting, not staying for the service, went home, and went to bed. While lying there in the dark, a certain kind of death like silence fell between my husband and me that would affect us for the next two years that we stayed in this church. We could never tell our family members who did not go to a United Pentecostal Church what happened. To verbalize such a trivial thing as cutting a baby’s hair to cause such a reaction was unthinkable and would have made our church look bad to those unfamiliar with the rules. We did not get support from our relatives or friends in the church either. I remember one family member, who is a pastor’s wife saying, “We would have done the same thing.” Other friends said, “They knew the rules.”

To stay in this church for two more years was one of our biggest mistakes. I bravely wore the scarlet letter on my chest and grew further and further away from this ideology and these people, as they drew away from me. I wasn’t cutting hair and I still looked the part but inwardly I came to see that there was no love in this church. By the end of these two years, my depression over my baby’s illness and the death of all that we had lived for up to that point caused me to want out of my marriage and out of life as I knew it. The pain my husband and I were going through kept the veil of silence over our marriage; we were just going through the motions. If we hadn’t left when we did, I firmly believe our marriage would have ended as did the marriages of many of the couples we knew in this church, including the assistant pastor; who eventually took over the church.

Later, I would learn what church discipline should look like. Jesus didn’t leave us clueless about how to handle discipline for believers who were truly sinning. It was so important that He gives us step by step instructions. Reflecting back on the teachings of the United Pentecostal Church and all the things I have learned since leaving makes me realize that they never really emphasized Jesus that much. Oh, they loved His name for distinction purposes but His death on the cross or any of the words He spoke, not so much.

Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. Matthew 18:15-17 NKJV

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UPC Unpardonable

Okay, I did it. I admit it. I cut my hair and my daughter’s hair. I can still remember the first time I cut my hair. We were probably about six years into the United Pentecostal Experience, when I was sitting on the toilet and fearing my hair was going to go in, I grabbed a pair of scissors, sat back down and cut the tail end that could get wet. I don’t remember feeling guilty or that it might not grow after anymore. This fear of hair not re-growing after trimming had been expressed to me by another woman in the church. Yes, Pentecostal women talk about cutting their hair. Oddly, her hair was only shoulder length. I guess it was due to the teasing, etc. that goes into maintaining the elaborate hairdos she wore. I also remember while sitting in a restaurant one lady sighing “if we could only get enough grace to cut our hair.” This woman was one of a group of older women in our church who resorted to wearing those Gibson Girl style wigs all the time. Honestly, I think they just got tired of dealing with all that hair!

As time went by, I was blessed with a little girl who had beautiful hair. Again, I confess! I did not want her to have long stringy, scraggly hair, so while she was a toddler to probably age 6 or so, I kept it shoulder length. I stopped trimming it when she got older; when she told me someone said something to her about it. No one ever said anything to me about it; however, there were those who were spying out my liberty! (Gal 2:4 NKJV) Ha-ha, there is no such thing as liberty in the UPC holiness standards. By this time, it was the late ‘80’s when the super curly hairdos were in, and frankly, you could cut your hair as much as you wanted and no one could tell. Those pink sponge rollers, along with the concrete mousse it took to set those curls, could take off five inches of your hair length!

My second daughter was born six years later and while still an infant she developed a health problem. She was a precious baby but she had a mind of her own! She was not going to dutifully wear the barrettes and other hair restraints young Pentecostal girls are forced to wear to hold their hair in place, due to the rules for no cutting or trimming of their hair. She would pull out everything I put in her hair and along with the restraint, out came a handful of hair. When she had pulled out enough hair to create a bald spot on her head, I took matters into my own hands. I did not consult with my husband or anyone else. I found the best children’s salon and had her hair cut, along with (gasp!) bangs. I brazenly took her to church that Wednesday night, not thinking anything of it. I thought she looked adorable! I would do anything to help my poor, precious baby! No one said anything to me about it that night except my husband who said, “You know they will ask us to step down.”

To be continued…

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The outward appearance

Legalists often quote a partial verse, “man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart,” to prove they should maintain “standards” of dress and hair. This is a prime example of a partial verse quoted out of context to make a point that is nowhere near the intent within context.

In context, the verse isn’t talking about what to wear or not to, but it’s a warning against choosing leaders based on appearances:

1 Sam 16:6 When they arrived, Samuel took one look at Eliab and thought, “Surely this is the LORD’s anointed!”
7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

In reality, the verse means nearly the opposite of how it is used in performance based churches, where people too often look at the outward appearance to make judgement calls, choose friends and leaders, and determine who loves and serves God and who does not. Eliab looked like the perfect choice to the prophet. So did every other of David’s brothers. But God wasn’t interested in human achievements or appearances. Why should we think this verse indicates that we should be?

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God, Our Heavenly Father

To many of us survivors of an abusive legalistic church environment, and the abuse from male dominant leadership, it can be difficult to trust organized religion and a God that was portrayed as one who was angry and ready to destroy you and send you to hell. It can also be detrimental to our hopes and dreams of having a close relationship with Almighty God.

I was not the good obedient child of God when I was actively involved in the United Pentecostal Church. I was always busy questioning the standards, rules, beliefs and researching and writing papers on my findings, and generally keeping the ministry in turmoil because I was uncovering truth and they knew I would eventually uncover what was being hidden. For example John 3:16; “For God so loved…He gave…” we only heard this scripture at Christmas and in its entirety.

I was one of those statistics who wasn’t raised in a home with a father figure full time. My parents were divorced. I saw my father and I loved him very much but when you only spend short periods of time with them it is not enough. My father was a fireman and worked crazy shifts but every time he came to my house he would show me an escape route if there was ever a fire. He remarried when I was 10 to a very nice woman and we developed a sweet relationship. They also blessed me with a little sister when I was 13; we are very close to this day. My dad and stepmom both passed away in 2011 and I still miss them both very much.

My mother remarried two times while I was growing up and they were harsh and abusive men. After the second time my brother and I asked her not to marry again until we were grown. I was 15 and my brother was 10 at that time and she didn’t remarry until I was 20. Of course by then she finally found a good man and he would have made a great father. He did become a father to me, even though I was grown, and a good grandfather to my children. They will celebrate 40 years this December and he has helped me through so many bad times and stood by my side. He never had kids of his own but he chose to be my dad and introduces me as his daughter.

One thing I found lacking in the teaching of the UPC was developing relationships of any kind and especially establishing a relationship with God. I was afraid of Him and I thought He was a God of judgement and not love. I would read the Bible and be so confused with the greetings in the epistles to God our Father. But I never knew Him as my Heavenly Father.

How sad that a beautiful facet of God’s character was not being explored. He is not a distant, impersonal ruler with an iron fist, but a warm and loving Father. But so often this is tainted by the weakness of human fathers. The foundational truth, God, in all His power and glory, is best understood as a loving, intimate Father. (Source)

Upon closer study of what makes a father, I made a list that shows what a natural or step father should be and correlated with God as a father according to scripture:

1. He is the source of life and creates life. (Genesis 1:27; Luke 1:30-35)
2. He loves us. (I John 4:16; John 3:16)
3. He provides for our needs. (Luke 12:22-32; Philippians 4:19)
4. He lovingly corrects us. (Proverbs 3:11)
5. He gives us His wisdom. (James 3:15-18)
6. He protects. (Psalm 21:8; Deuteronomy 31:8)
7. He welcomes us back. (Luke 15:22-24)
8. He gives good gifts. (Luke 11:9-13)
9. He wants us to enjoy life. (Romans 15:13)
10. He wants us to trust him. (Psalm 62:1-12) (Partial Source)

Many of us expect these attributes from our physical father, and of our husbands when we have our own children. I would say many fathers try to have these attributes but our Heavenly Father has them all, and this is just the tip of the iceberg!

Although God would like our earthly fathers to be the spiritual leaders in our home, most fathers fail at this, either from not being a born again believer or maybe working too much to provide for their families. But our Heavenly Father not only provides spiritual guidance, He can actually become our Father in a very personal way when we are spiritually born again. Romans 8:14 tells us, “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons (and daughters) of God.” (Source)

Paul tells us in Romans 8:9, “You are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you.” Of course, we are still flesh, but Paul was speaking of this from God’s perspective. We begin our spiritual life as babies (1 Peter 2:2), but we are to grow and mature in Christ until our death or until Christ returns (1 Thessalonians 4:15-17). Through this new life based on God’s Spirit living in us, we can begin to not only grasp spiritual truths and values (1 Corinthians 2:9-11), but also have a very personal, close relationship with our Heavenly Father. (Source)

Now I always called my father “daddy” and I called my step father, “dad” but I’ve never called my Heavenly Father, daddy or dad. But in Romans 8:15, we are now his children through adoption and we are invited to call him “Abba” which means Daddy or Papa.

So this Father’s Day we have one more to honor, our Heavenly Father! We are free to say, Happy Father’s Day, Papa!!

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