Category: holiness standards | Page 9

The ‘Standards’ Lie – They are really Laws

I always felt like I was being a little dishonest in my days as a legalist when I spoke of the rules and regulations of the faith I belonged to, particularly in trying to explain them to new converts or questioning prospects. Our ladies weren’t allowed to cut their hair, color their hair, trim their hair, perm their hair, wear short sleeve shirts, tights/leggings, wear metal of any kind in their hair, or any form of jewelry/ornamentation, etc.

The same rules applied to me, as a man, with other requirements as well, such as abstaining from facial hair or allowing my hair to grow past a few inches long. And when people questioned these, saying things like, ‘Sounds like you guys are still under the Old Testament law,’ the response was always, “No, it isn’t laws, they are standards.”

To illustrate this, I want to start off with pics (pictures prove I haven’t altered the text in any way) from two exchanges I’ve had with people on YouTube content in the past week.

In both cases, we are discussing the Oneness (Apostolic) Pentecostal Holiness movement, of which I was part of for 15 years, and their dogmas (standards) on dress. I won’t take the time to reiterate all of those things, but read these blog posts to learn more: Men and Womens Apparel in Ancient Days, The Commandments of Men, & Out of Context: Without Holiness No Man Shall See The Lord.

In both cases, the individuals are defending their church dress standards, but claim things that aren’t true, and then do what I used to do, and that is to be dishonest about what the ‘standards’ really are. These are Oneness Pentecostals responding to my videos and other videos on the same topic – dress standards being law.

This one is one of the more interesting conversations because this individual does what most Apostolic Pentecostals do. He/She initially relates their dress standards to the commandment of being “Holy,” and then declares that the only other side to the coin (in layman terms) is that you’ll just go wear mini-skirts and paint your face, which makes you a harlot. (Yes, the Apostolic Pentecostal church teaches that you can’t wear makeup and make it to heaven.)

This highlights the disease of this belief set – because it gets rooted in their heart that if you don’t dress like them, you are a harlot.

Then of course, when asked how they make the connection between ‘Be ye holy, for I am holy,’ and ‘Without Holiness, no man shall see the Lord’ and their dress rules, he/she says what I used to say.

“It’s not a dogma its preference you make it a heaven or hell issue out of it.’

That baffles me because it is actually the Apostolic Pentecostals making a heaven/hell issue out of it. In a recent conversation with a young man, he said, “Look, they are standards, not laws, and the local pastor has the right to set standards for his church. (even on things not taught in the Bible, so long as they don’t contradict the Bible) I went and talked to the pastor and even he admitted, these things like facial hair, short sleeve vs long sleeve shirts are not heaven or hell issues.”

That sounded good, but then the pastor said this, (this is not verbatim, but accurate) “But, if I set the standard here, and you don’t obey me, you are sinning the sin of disobedience.”

That my friend is a law.

This one became even more interesting and this is just a small portion of the whole conversation. What always intrigues me about these ‘defenders of the faith’ is how rude and arrogant they tend to get.

All at once, Carson declares that women in the 1st century would have worn dresses like we would think of a dress today, as completely different from a man’s clothing, that the Apostle Paul taught this very simple idea, attempts to use Greek words to prove that women wore dresses, intently implies anyone who doesn’t believe this lacks basic intelligence (in another post, Carson said, “If you struggle with this simple principle you must struggle with a lot of things in life lol,”) and then goes on to say, “I dont believe a woman is going to hell because of pants.”

This is just a sampling of the fervor you will find defending the dress standards of the Apostolic Pentecostal faith. So I did a little social sampling/research, asking questions like this one.

“The Bible says not to take away from, or add to the Word. Jesus made it clear in Mark 7:7 that men who created their own laws (let’s call them standards) for the people, things outside of God’s word, were hypocrites and that worshiping Jesus in those things was vain and useless. Nowhere in Scripture does it say the Pastor has the right and duty to make up his own church rules, required for membership, that are outside of Scripture, and we aren’t talking about carpet color and instrument selection.

So, if your pastor says that men wearing facial hair is unholy – would I be allowed to be a full-fledged member of the church if I continued to wear facial hair? Would I be allowed to be a member? Would God be able to use me? Could I participate, in Choir, outreach, etc.?”

The answer, of course, is no. Unless you abide by that pastor’s standards, you have no legal standing in the Faith. So then I ask this question, “If there is no other Apostolic church in this town, and I can’t be a member of yours, how can I be saved since the majority of Apostolic Pentecostals think they are the only saved people on the earth?”

What is the difference between a Standard and a Law?

A law is something that is written into statutes that all people must obey. Disobedience to these laws results in penalization. In this simple example, the white background speed limit sign is a posted law. If you exceed this limit, you can be subject to penalties including traffic violations and fines. Normally (In the U.S.) you’ll have to appear before a judge and defend or plead your case. You are sentenced from your infraction and you pay the fine or duty that the judge imposes on you. That is how law works.

The yellow background speed sign is a standard. It is an advisory speed sign. You’ll normally see this when coming into a space of road that has a lot of curves or is windy. They will post a sign that is the suggested speed for which it is safest to drive that stretch of road. Exceeding this limit may place you in danger of not handling the road well, but it is not a traffic law violation to exceed this speed. If you are doing 35mph in a 25mph advisory zone, you have broken no laws and will not be judged for your behavior.

This highlights the simplistic distinction between Law and Standard.

You see, while we/they can claim that the standards of the Apostolic Holiness movement are not laws, they (and I was this way) are being very dishonest. I know people who defend these standards in this fashion who are not intentionally being dishonest, in fact, most aren’t, they are just regurgitating what they are being fed from the pulpit.

People will say, ‘Our dress standards are not laws,’ and yet, they will in the pulpit (and I’ve heard it hundreds of times) say, “No woman wearing pants and lipstick is going to make it to heaven.” In the first conversation image I posted, these people always backlash when you question their standards, by saying things like, “Fine, go find your self a church where you can be a harlot (wear makeup).”

If something you do keeps you out of heaven, it is because you have violated God’s law. So if the claim is, ‘You can’t go to heaven if you aren’t obeying the standards,’ then you know assuredly, that those are laws, not standards.

Now, a church and pastor may make a standard, something like, “Our church has held the standard that we do not want any married men or women in a room alone with another married person. When I (The pastor) counsel, I will not do it alone with a woman, my standard is to always have my wife with me when I counsel someone of the opposite sex. We ask all of our church members to be careful in this way.”

This is a standard. This is something based in principle, that you are not judged for, that you are not legislated by, and your membership to the church does not depend on. Would following the example set before you be extremely wise? Absolutely! but it is not a law.

God alone, if you believe in God and in His Word, is the only one capable of creating laws. Those laws were written. The faith was once (and for all) delivered unto the saints. What is going to keep you out of the Kingdom of God was clearly written in Scripture. To add to that is such a dangerous thing.

Conclusion

Let me end by saying this: If you, for yourself, believe that wearing a certain piece of clothing, or worshiping at a certain time helps keep you closer to God, than by all means, do it.

The faith which you have [that gives you freedom of choice], have as your own conviction before God [just keep it between yourself and God, seeking His will]. Happy is he who has no reason to condemn himself for what he approves.” – Romans 14:22, AMP

I am not judging you, or anyone for the personal standards and convictions they want to keep. Paul made it clear that you are blessed (happy) for those things you allow. Your own personal convictions.

What I am coming against, is entire organizations making ‘standards’ that keep people in or out of the church, and to their set of beliefs, also keep people in or out of heaven. If it wasn’t written in Scripture, and it’s taught as something you must do, it is a man-made law and should be called for what it is, an error and fallacy.

They worship Me in vain [their worship is meaningless and worthless, a pretense],
Teaching the precepts of men as doctrines [giving their traditions equal weight with the Scriptures].’ – Mark 7:7

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.

Enabling Environments in UPC Youth Groups

Part eleven of a series of articles.

This addresses the co-mingling of those underage with ones in their twenties and thirties in some churches. Years back, the Youth Division of the UPCI was called Pentecostal Conquerors. (2024: The original linked to video was later made private and I have replaced it with a different one.) The national leader could be as old as 39, while district officers could be 35. Their churches allowed those from 12 to 35 to take part together in various activities.

I feel that encouraging those in their twenties and thirties to hang with pre-teens and young teenagers has opened the door for grooming and sexual assaults of minors to occur. Debbie has shared that the church in Madison didn’t seem to think there was anything inappropriate or potentially troublesome with people much older hanging around with those quite younger. Debbie was groomed and repeatedly assaulted from age eleven to twelve by a man who was old enough to be her father. The church didn’t blink, even when he took her on day long work trips.

The following article is what one person has observed in this environment and was written by a woman who wishes to remain anonymous.

**************

I came into the UPC at 26 years of age. I had been out of church for about ten years, living a very worldly life, even by most liberal church’s standards. I look back now and count this life experience as a blessing, as I could see warning flags where many of the young people in the United Pentecostal Church could not. I had grown up in pretty average churches, and I had adored youth group in high school. I was used to youth group being for kids grades 8-12, with possibly a handful of older “young people” volunteering as leaders. Usually these leaders were part of the C&C (College and Career), they weren’t any older than early 20s, and they were Godly examples, leading solid, mature spiritual lives.

I was delighted when I was “invited” to attend my new church’s Hyphen group! I do recall wondering why it took them several months to ask me to attend, and why it wasn’t just published on their website or ever announced. I would have thought they would want everyone even visiting to know about it. I remember also being flattered they thought I was so young, and then surprised when they said it was for ages 18-35. I had thought that was quite a spread of ages. I look back now and I guess they didn’t want to advertise it at that age spread as it might have not looked so good on paper, and it would have held them more responsible for some of the things that did go on in regards to Hyphen and youth.

The first evening I showed up for the group, we had planned to play basketball and then have a short Bible study. I was still quite new, so I couldn’t figure out why the only other two girls to show up both wore skirts to play basketball. The group was mainly guys, mostly in their mid 20s. The other two girls didn’t really play ball, largely because of their apparel. In the subsequent weeks, the other two girls didn’t attend often. They both had rotating shift work and they also said it wasn’t fun if all the girls weren’t able to attend. I soon learned the holiness standards and started to see a real issue with attending these athletic evenings, as if I dressed how they preached, I would struggle to play things like basketball or soccer while remaining modest and keeping my skirt from getting pulled, twisted or flipped up. If I didn’t play, chances are I would be sitting on the sidelines alone as the other two girls weren’t often there. If I dressed to play sports, then I would look backslidden. I settled into a routine with the church where I spent my time with the older women and skipped Hyphen. Hyphen became an all boys club for a time.

The church had a small youth group but it was growing. The youth pastor was one of the guys in the Hyphen group. He usually used a couple of the other guys from the group as leaders. Because Hyphen was a small group, he regularly would combine the Hyphen/Youth activity so he only had to lead one group that week. Hyphen was still all male at that point in time, while youth was primarily female, with girls ranging from 12-17. One of those girls ended up marrying the youth pastor, as soon as she graduated from high school at 18. He was about ten years her senior and had known her since she was ten or eleven. I was around his age at the time and remember finding it kind of gross to think he watched her grow up and married her as soon as it could sort of be considered socially acceptable. I wondered if he just suddenly found an interest in her, or if he had been perving on her when she was 14 or 16, while he was her youth pastor. Another girl, same age, and the same year, also married that summer out of high school to a man from another church who was also in his mid to late 20s. I thought they must be anomalies at the time. Later I realized this was the norm.

Around that point in time, there was a number of new people to the church and the pastor couldn’t keep up on all the Bible studies and discipleship classes he had on the go. He sent one of his more difficult students to the youth pastor to mentor. I knew this 53 year old man from outside of the church. He had been a member of our local chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous for some time. He had been able to maintain sobriety from both drugs and alcohol, but he had a lot of mental health, and emotional issues.

He would argue with everything the pastor said, and he had a real hang up on what the Bible said about sex. He would argue with our pastor about God not actually expecting abstinence, he refusal to live chaste, and he had strong opinions on a myriad of other male topics in regards to sex. He had been my house mate at one point when I wasn’t attending the UPC church, and I had the misfortune of finding his adult magazines lying around the house, as well as literally walking in on him in the living room with his pants down. I knew he had a real problem in this area. In fact, all the women in AA knew he had a problem in this area. He was very friendly and overbearing with all ages of women in AA and he would harass and show up in the same places as the women he was interested in at the time. I was glad to hear he was so open with the pastor about his feelings in this area, as he really needed a Godly man to hash these things out with, and not the poor women in AA.

After the pastor passed along this man to the youth pastor to mentor, this man was nearly inseparable from the youth pastor. They hung out several nights a week. They hung out at church. Where one was, the other one was. I remember thinking it was odd that a 28 year old life time Christian man, and a virgin, would have much in common with this 53 year old man who wasn’t overly committed to a Christian walk and who had such an obsession with sex. I was uncomfortable when this man started attending Hyphen. It was one more reason I didn’t want to attend. I was horrified when I found how he was attending Hyphen/Youth. Why would a 53 year old man want to hang around with teens and twenty somethings? Why would he want to be around underage girls?!?! Why was anyone letting him be around under age girls!?!?

This guy had a reputation for being very pushy and not respecting boundaries with women his own age. He also had a bad temper. He got into a fight with one of my close friends because she turned him down. He told her all the reasons he was better than the men she had been dating and why she HAD to date him. He bullied her and yelled at her and wouldn’t leave her alone. She was a very strong woman, but I knew many women would have caved and gone out with him just to settle him down. And they were allowing him around very young, vulnerable women? What if he decided he was the best dating choice for one of the 18, 19, or even 22 year old women? I knew the pastor wouldn’t listen to me if I said anything though, so I fretted in silence.

A new, young girl, started attending the youth group. She was 15. She came from a pretty broken home. She had actually been invited to the youth group in the most ingenious of ways. She had developed a pretty serious crush on one of her classmates, who happened to be a young boy from our church. She was following him around school and giving him gifts and notes. He went to his mother, looking for advice as he wasn’t interested in this worldly girl with a reputation for partying.

The mom decided she found a witnessing opportunity. She started inviting the girl to their home for family dinner and then brought her to the youth group when she brought her three sons. The girl continued to crush on the boy, but she did it while hanging out with a group of Christian girls, learning about God. Eventually the girl became more independent of the boy’s mother and she started getting rides with other members of youth or Hyphen, and she also hung out with the group at non official gatherings at people’s homes or McDonalds.

I was so concerned to hear that the 53 year old man had become her regular ride. He didn’t work, and had no problem driving her from anywhere to anywhere as he appreciated the company and wasn’t doing anything anyways. She was starved for attention in life and she would go to anyone looking for attention, love, etc. She was so vulnerable as she told him about her drug experiments at parties. They could bond over their shared substance abuse stories. She confessed her confusion over an attraction to women to him and wanted to discuss what the Bible had to say. They could bond over their dislike for God’s plan for husband and wife. She discussed modesty as per how the UPC preached it. They could bond over their shared desire for women to wear what they wanted and the innocence in a little cleavage and leg. She had no curfew; he had no reason to be up early in the morning. They would end up in an after hours dinner having deep discussions late in to the night. The youth pastor knew, but if anything, I think he was just glad someone other than him was amusing this man on those nights.

Something I’ve learned in my own life. There are many male predators that don’t set out to be a predator. They just don’t have boundaries. A healthy, normal man of 53 years of age wouldn’t want to hang out with a bunch of young people because he doesn’t have anything in common with them. If he was a leader to them, he would maintain a certain distance as he is twice their age. A normal, healthy man of 53 years of age would not allow himself to get pulled into deep conversations with a 15 year old girl, because he would know its not appropriate and its not healthy for her. A man with boundaries, certainly wouldn’t start confiding in this 15 year old girl, while discussing the Bible and what it says about sex.

This man was one of those predators that didn’t set out to be a predator. I don’t know if anything ever happened with them, I would like to believe it didn’t. But they had both put themselves in a very precarious place. She was latching on to a daddy figure, but she was just a mixed up kid. He was allowing himself to get very emotionally involved with a minor. If she had made a pass at him, I truly believe he would have gone with it. The legal age of consent in our area is 14, and he would have deluded himself into believing it was ok since she was older than 14.

I look back at that group of kids now. The kids that came from church families have stayed in the church. The kids that were new have not stayed in the church. Facebook told me recently that a girl who had just entered youth when I was attending Hyphen, married one of those men from Hyphen as soon as she graduated at age 18. He was 30. He had known her since she was a preteen. She is now pregnant and will be giving birth at 19.
The church looks at the girls that left as backslidden and headed for hell.

Some of the girls are just wearing pants and make-up. One is living with her boyfriend. Another is in a lesbian relationship. Instagram has gotten at least one of those girls in trouble with her mom after photos of underage drinking came out. None of these girls have made terrible, life ending decisions. They are just going through some of the stages or rebellions of growing up. I look at the girl who is pregnant at 18. She is the only one of the group with a teenage pregnancy, even if she is married. She is still just a kid herself. These other girls living outside of the church haven’t made any decisions that will alter their lives in big ways. This girl soon will be responsible for another little life, while shackled to someone who has 12 years of adulting experience over her. I find it so sad.

These girls aren’t protected from being exploited and they aren’t allowed to be kids with other kids. They are put together with men twice their age, and are expected to be mature and pure, and would be held responsible if anything were to occur. In a church culture where the older men marry the young women after watching them grow up, no one is concerned in protecting these girls.

You will find a complete list of articles in this series by clicking here.

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.

Legalism is Idolatry – Flee From It

Protestant/Evangelical Christianity was in some ways a response to the legalism of the Roman Catholic church nearly 500 years ago when in 1517 Martin Luther nailed his 95 Thesis to the doors of a church in Germany. More importantly, it came against this notion that particular sacraments (a form of Godliness) brought the forgiveness of sin.

This was a time when men could do horrible things in the name of God and so long as they completed their sacramental, ritual practices, their crimes were dissolved and mattered not. Men could continue killing, raping, controlling and harming others without punishment, both in the eyes of man and God. They idolized legalism and stopped revering the God behind the pages.

Coming out of a severely legalistic church, I have experienced this first hand. There is a vast difference between second chances, grace and forgiveness, and gross negligence and hiding/covering up sins by leadership because the individual in question is following along with the ‘standards.’

For instance, I know of a situation in which a young man was being used in a local church, was placed into the Sunday school buses, teaching in the Sunday School classes. He was doing everything he was supposed to – wore the suit and tie, was demonstrative in his worship, ‘spoke in tongues‘ which is the Holy Grail of a Oneness Pentecostal church. With glossolalia being observed, the boy was surely walking in the Spirit. That was all that was needed – he fulfilled the patterns and standards of legalism and thus, no questions asked – he was All God wanted in a person (as if it worked that way…).

Then, one day, with no warning, his face was on the front cover of the local newspaper.

Local man arrested, wanted by police for over a year was the headline. Same face, different name. I immediately read the article. He had been fugitive for over a year in another state. The article said he had changed his name, sold all his belongings, was on the run and in hiding, wanted for the crimes of molesting a small child.

I took a picture of the newspaper and texted it to another young person in the church who I knew would know him and said, “Is this Dominic? [Name changed for privacy]” It was, and the shock was real. How many children had the church put him into private positions with – no background checks, no questions asked. Just so long as you obey the church standards, nothing else matters.

There are dozens, perhaps hundreds of more stories of things being covered up in my old church alone, for sake of purity of doctrine and what I call the idolatry of legalism.

What is Legalism?

Legalism at its core is the belief that we can perform certain rituals and behave in certain fashions in order to please God and to warrant his favor. That man is so depraved, that without certain hard lines drawn in the sand that we must obey, administered by a local pastor, we have no hope of obtaining the grace of Jesus Christ.

In my old church, it was taught often,

‘You want God to bless you on the job? Be at outreach more often!’

‘You want God to work in your marriage? Shave that beard! Be at prayer more than 30 minutes every day.’

‘Do you think God can bless you over you (women) wearing pants?”

‘If you aren’t paying your tithes God isn’t going to answer your prayers!’

They truly believed that they had to dress certain ways in order to please God – such as no short sleeve shirts, no shorts on men or women, women were being like harlots to wear makeup, earrings, to dye their hair or to tan their skin. It’s a long litany of Thou Shalt Nots, above and beyond any scriptural example. Yet they honestly believe (or have been brainwashed to believe) that if they do any of those things – God will be dishonored, and worse, his wrath was to come.

But how is legalism idolatry?

It is idolatry when ‘playing the part’ is more important and overrides the grace of Jesus Christ! When legal matters are brushed aside for the purity of the doctrine. It is idolatry when instead of worshiping God for Calvary and what the cross did for us, we obey the pastors every whim, believing that is what pleases God.

Paul said it best in 1 Corinthians 2:2

for I made the decision to know nothing [that is, to forego philosophical or theological discussions regarding inconsequential things and opinions while] among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified [and the meaning of His redemptive, substitutionary death and His resurrection]. – Amplified Bible

Legalism turns inconsequential things into matters of doctrine and makes them sacraments for the atonement of sin, just like the Roman Catholic Church of 500+ years ago. If you want to be saved, pray in tongues every day. If you hope to have God’s blessing, pay more money. If you think God is going to help your family, stop wearing short sleeve shirts and shave your beard.

It is important to know, that God and God alone washes (atones) our sins. Not by any works of righteousness (Titus 3:5) which we think we can do. James rightly said faith without any works is dead (James 2:20) but our works are an outward effect of our faith, our faith is not predicated or made whole, or made better by works, or as legalists call them, standards.

The fruit of God’s spirit is not legalism – it is not a dress standard, it is not ritual, it is not sacraments, it is not blind obedience to a pastor, and it is most certainly not judging others salvation based upon their outward appearance, which is what every legalist will do.

But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22

The result of having the Spirit of Christ WILL produce THESE works. All other demands upon Christians is a false and phony doctrine. Paul went on to say;

Carry one another’s burdens and in this way you will fulfill the requirements of the law of Christ [that is, the law of Christian love].

The end of legalism is life in Christ and fulfilling the law of Christ, which is purely and simply, living our Galatians 5:22 – loving and caring for others in the way Jesus Christ gave himself for us. While we deserved nothing, he gave us everything!

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.

When the church betrays us, pt 3

I spent seven years in the first Pentecostal church I was in. The first was great. And then I went home for the summer. I didn’t like the Pentecostal churches in my parents’ area, but they were better than my parents’ church. Besides, I was committed and they believed closer to what I did, which was exactly the reason my Mom gave for us staying in a church I disliked and was alone at growing up. She didn’t argue, though she and Dad did argue about plenty.

After 18 years of church that taught nothing but the basic stories, my parents joined wholeheartedly in arguments about why I shouldn’t attend a Pentecostal church. They tried to force me to wear pants or shorts, which were against the rules for women at my new church. I had dreams that Mom would sneak in and cut my hair or insist that it be cut. She’d done that when I was younger. Their pressure made me more determined to stay Pentecostal. It gave me not one reason to leave.

I went to camp that summer excited that I would be seeing everyone from my church again, and found them totally disinterested in me. They were there to relax, shop, play, and to see their friends from other churches. And so for the first time since beginning to attend, I felt once more left out. I doubt I would have thought quite so much of it except that the pastor spent a lot of time with one young woman who was a newlywed. It was her first week apart from him, and he was very concerned about her well-being, having been separated from her new husband for a few days. I stood there watching, wondering “seriously? I’m away from my new church family for two months and no one cares, but she’s away from her husband for three days and you’re very concerned?” It was the first indication that something wasn’t right. It wouldn’t be the last.

I went back to college that fall and back to church. The first service I realized just how much had happened since I left. I felt like I was starting all over again. I wasn’t a part of them, and I wasn’t a new convert either. So this time no one cared. I looked forward to the day I’d graduate and be in one place. Three years later when I did, I moved to an apartment in town. And realized nothing had changed. I was still considered a youth. I wasn’t included in the women’s outings because I was younger than them and unmarried, but I didn’t relate to the high school youth group. After three more years of that and of struggling to make ends meet on a low paying job, I finally left, moving to a larger city, a different (hopefully better) job, and a church the pastor repeatedly invited me to join.

Things changed, but they didn’t.

When the church betrays us, pt 7
When the church betrays us, pt 6
When the church betrays us, pt 5
When the church betrays us, pt 4
When the church betrays us, pt 3
When the church betrays us, pt 2
When the church betrays us, pt 1

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.

“Of Like Precious”…(Abuse?)

If I had a dime for all the times I heard it said “of like precious faith,” I’d likely be very rich today (but only if I didn’t give all those dimes away in the offering).

“Of like precious faith” was a code phrase, much like other code phrases that were common in the group I grew up in. Now, when I read anything from that group, I read things that others without that background do not get. I’ve often shown a friend or co-worker something to explain the subtle mental and spiritual abuse, only to have them look at me blankly and ask, “what does this and that mean?” We had our own language that only the special “chosen few” could understand.

The phrase “of like precious faith” did not refer to all other believers, as one might think. It referred only to those who had your own special brand of salvation, doctrine, and dress code. It meant you were in the “in” crowd, the one where people were somehow perceived to be closer to God.

“Of like precious faith” did not mean you were truly a person who had a lot of faith in God–you might perhaps have no faith in God whatsoever, but only believe in your own works to save you. It didn’t mean that you were a person who was precious to be around either. It was quite possible you would be a nasty spirited person who criticized and judged everyone. In fact, often “of like precious faith” meant you were one of the group who looked down on others as being lesser than you and your in crowd.

In reality, the term “of like precious faith” was more like a code name for quite the opposite than what it implied. Often, one could’ve just as easily said “of like minded abuse” and been more accurate. This “precious faith” simply meant that you were one of the elite few who had it made, as far as going to heaven went. You had figured out the formula for the “Kool-aid” that would mark you as one of the group. You had the right clothing on, the right hairstyle, and the judgmental attitude to boot.

All kinds of abusers flew under that flag! Sociopaths were welcome, especially in leadership. Bring your Narcissistic self right on up in your fancy clothing, big Bible in hand. You were already labeled as one of the superior race of Christian, God’s own apostle, regardless of how you treated your family or those in your congregation.

It was a phrase that marked you apart and let people know you were “safe”–they could believe every word that came out of your mouth and they’d better accept you with open arms, lest they prove to not be “of like precious faith” themselves.

Friday I shared with a female co-worker just a hint of something I’d been going through. She asked if I was a person who prayed. I said, “yes.” She asked if she could pray with me. I readily agreed. She began praying “Father, Daddy, …” and what followed was the most anointed prayer that really touched Heaven and instantly calmed my anxiety. Oh, wait! She wasn’t “of that precious faith”! She was Anglican…yet never a more fervent prayer has been prayed over me.

Where did the phrase “of like precious faith” originate? What “big wig” preacher started this? It ran like wild-fire through the ranks. It could never be said of a Baptist, Methodist, Assembly of God, or Presbyterian. In fact, behind the backs of such individuals, even the term “Christian” had to be said with air commas to show you truly believed the individual to be eternally lost and not Christian at all.

Recently a co-worker called me, confused. He is a therapist in a school district and was setting up an intake for a new client, when the clients mom began crying hysterically. He patiently began the job of calming her down. Her problem? She was Pentecostal and she couldn’t go to a counselor that wasn’t a “Christian counselor.” I reminded him that he is a Christian and he is a counselor, but I assured him that might not even be enough for her. I felt much pity and compassion, wondering if her pastor would be upset if she went to a counselor with real credentials, instead of just his own Bible with his man-made interpretation of it. My co-worker wasn’t “of like precious faith.”

Here we are, a lot of wounded souls, all affected by those “like minded abusers.” We once thought they were precious, once believed they were men and women of faith. But then the caressing words and the outpouring of “love” turned to criticism and shaming. Yet, again, here we are. We may be down, we may have been shoved out, shunned, belittled, and downtrodden, but we are alive.

We are learning a new word–FREEDOM. Step by slow step we are learning to find our way through the pain. We are doing it together…people of “like minded pain,” those of “like minded precious grace.” We are learning that there really are true Christians, and we find them in the halls of Anglican churches, on Episcopalian pews, and in many other places…people who do not express to us their religious beliefs per se–but they hold our hands, they hug us, they help us, and they show us true love.

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.