To my former church

Dear former church:

Why do you shun people? I could understand you not wanting to be best friends with me since I left your church, but why do you turn your faces away as I walk past? Why would you stand in the middle of the store aisle, blocking my way, and act like you don’t see me or hear me when I say “excuse me, please?” How could you turn up your nose and refuse anything I might give you… change and a receipt if I’m a cashier, your food if I work in a restaurant?

You don’t want anyone saying anything bad about your church. Your actions are speaking louder and more negatively than any words I could say. People notice your haughtiness and your self-righteousness. It makes them angry. Several have told me they don’t want to go to any church because they don’t want to go to a church that treats people like you do.

What a witness you are to your world! You aren’t testifying of God’s love and mercy and grace, but of your own pride, your lack of love, and your self-centeredness. Jesus didn’t shun publicans or even Pharisees. He loved them all. He warned them of their shortcomings, but He never turned them away. Not even when they came to Him under cover of darkness, in the middle of the night. Not even when they broke their Jewish laws and traditions to get near Him. Not once did He reject them. Not even as they mocked and spit on Him. Not even as they crucified Him. Real Christians are Christ-followers. They will do as Jesus would have done. And Jesus never once in the Bible behaved as you have behaved toward me.

In doing what you are doing, to prove yourselves right in your own eyes, you are only confirming what I knew in my heart. You are only right in your own eyes. Your eyes are not the eyes of God. Your hands are not His hands, your feet are not His feet. You aren’t doing what pleases Him, but what pleases your own pride.

Please open your eyes! The Bible doesn’t teach what you are doing at all. One time Paul wrote about putting someone out of the church. And that was for fornication that was fairly wide known, and that had not been repented of. It wasn’t for wearing certain clothes, and it certainly wasn’t for going to a different church!

This is what the Bible says:

Gal 6:1-5 Dear brothers and sisters, if another Christian is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.
Share each other’s troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ.
If you think you are too important to help someone in need, you are only fooling yourself. You are really a nobody.
Be sure to do what you should, for then you will enjoy the personal satisfaction of having done your work well, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.
For we are each responsible for our own conduct.

You are responsible for how you act, and I’m responsible for how I act. Don’t be angry at me for not taking abuse. Be repentant for the abuse you gave, and change.

1 Jn 4:7-10 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is born of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God–for God is love. God showed how much he loved us by sending his only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other
…for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we have not seen?

Mar 12:33 And I know it is important to love him with all my heart and all my understanding and all my strength, and to love my neighbors as myself. This is more important than to offer all of the burnt offerings and sacrifices required in the law.

Just Couldn’t Stay Part 2

Continued from Part One.

It wasn’t just one thing that made me decide to leave as I mentioned yesterday, it was a compilation of many.

Alright back story time. I grew up in a ‘holiness’ church. Translation: any and everything will result in loss of salvation and send you to Hell. Things like fish net pantyhose, men with no ties on their shirts, crossing your legs in church for women, and popping your fingers because that is what the worldly people did to worldly music. Literally any and everything was a sin. Sin too many times and God would get tired of you and you would be “turned over to the devil.” All hope was lost at that point. You could have very well been bff’s with the Anti-Christ at that point. The list could go on and on.

Growing up my mother wouldn’t even participate in just everyday conversations at times because that would result in loss of salvation. I remember one time she yelled out in fear and anger “I’m not worried about those people I’m just trying to stay saved.” The reason for the outburst, my dad had just asked her if she remembered an old friend.

The deal is this ‘holiness’ group was not Apostolic Pentecostal aka Oneness Pentecostals. They were/are Trinitarians and believed in Matthew 28:19 literally. However, they were saved and we believed we were too at that time. They spoke in tongues, prophesied, danced in the Spirit, dressed and looked the part of UPC standards and obeyed the pastors every word.

We left that church for a time and started attending an United Pentecostal church across town, you know those Jesus only people. They did all the exact same things we did at our old church except for the “3 step salvation part.” I was only six at the time but I adored that little church. We didn’t stay there long though and I never knew why. So off we marched back to the Trinitarian holiness church.

For the most part that was my religious upbringing. The upbringing of fire and brimstone, blink twice and burn in hell, “God ain’t playing with y’all,” once saved barely saved, doubt your salvation every second of the day upbringing. How did I cope with it at the tender age of two till I could escape, suffer through a lot of psychology damage? It wasn’t until later in life I realized how catastrophic my view of God was.

When I was fifteen we decided to leave that church and organization for good. We visited another little UPC church in our town. They quickly let us know we had not been in the “truth.”

To be continued.

Examining Teachings #2: Jezebel And Shamefaced

You don’t want a Jezebel spirit. She used it. Prostitutes use it. Do you want to associate yourself with them?

You would think the subject matter would be most serious to prompt such statements, but think again. We are speaking of make-up.

The Bible mentions no prohibition against the use of make-up and actually shows its use. Because of this, those who teach things such as the above, have to resort to other means to promote their doctrine. You are likened to Jezebel, an unsavory woman from the Old Testament, who died in a brutal manner. You would think her death was at least in part from wearing make-up the way some spin the story. Or perhaps you are likened to a prostitute, because many of them wear make-up. Surely then if one wears make-up, their motive must be to entice and seduce others. This is hardly the case with most people who use it.

These two examples are easily debunked. Just because people do sinful things, doesn’t instantly mean that anything associated with them is wrong, sinful, or will cause others to be likened to them. As a for instance, Jezebel also fixed her hair, but you don’t hear these same people preach that a woman fixing up her hair is wrong. (In Apostolic circles, some of their hairstyles can be elaborate and/or time consuming.) Yet hair can be used in an effort to seduce, too. How many men find long hair attractive?

If a woman wears modest make-up today, people aren’t whispering and pointing fingers as she walks down the street, saying she must be a prostitute. Men don’t proposition her. Certainly no one is thinking she is like Jezebel, unless they come from a church that teaches this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvqX6GSs5d8

When these two thoughts didn’t work to convince you to not wear make-up, they went on to a twisted meaning of a  New Testament word. Don’t you know you are to be shamefaced? That is found right here in the Bible. See? 1 Timothy 2:9, in black and white. Shamefaced, sister, be shamefaced.

This is one of numerous words that is given a faulty definition in order to give the appearance that it supports their teaching. It is often taught as meaning plain, as in not having anything on your face. Here is where I encourage you to look up the original word that was translated ‘shamefaced.’ It doesn’t come close to meaning what some proclaim it does. It has nothing to do with make-up or being plain.

The word translated ‘shamefacedness’ in the KJV is a noun. In Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance it is #127. Thayer’s Greek Lexicon states it means “a sense of shame, modesty“. It further states it “is prominently objective in its reference, having regard to others”.

A Greek Lexicon Of The New Testament And Other Early Christian Literature concurs, showing the meaning as modesty in 1 Timothy 2:9 and reverence and respect as used by other writers.

In The Complete Word Study Dictionary: New Testament it shares, “Modesty, an innate moral repugnance to a dishonorable act or fashion. Aidós is grief due to the personal sense of evil. Aidós finds its motive in itself. It implies reverence for the good as good, not merely as that to which honor and reputation are attached. Only in I Tim. 2:9; Heb. 12:28, reverence, veneration.”

Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words also agrees with the others. “‘A sense of shame, modesty,’ is used regarding the demeanor of women in the church, I Tim. 2:9 (some mss. have it in Heb. 12:28 for deos, “awe”: here only in NT). ‘Shamefastness is that modesty which is ‘fast’ or rooted in character… The change to ‘shamefacedness’ is the more to be regretted because shamefacedness…has come rather to describe an awkward diffidence, such as we sometimes call sheepishness” (Davies; Bible English, p. 12).”

Word Meanings In the New Testament further explains, “This unfortunate translation leaves the implication that Christian women should go around in public with heads bowed and eyes averted, as if they were ashamed of themselves. Not so. Actually this rendering appears to be in error. The Oxford English Dictionary says that the adjective “shamefaced” was “originally an etymological misinterpretation of shamefast” (9:620) which carries the idea of discreetness. Wyclif’s earliest English version of the Bible (1382) has the correct term here, “shamefastness.” This is used in the ASV (1901), but, of course, even this word is obsolete today.” It goes on to add, “Bernard says that it implies “(1) a moral repugnance to what is base and unseemly, and (2) self-respect, as well as restraint imposed on oneself from a sense of what is due to others.” He goes on to say: “Thus aidos here signifies that modesty which shrinks from overstepping the limits of womanly reserve” (p. 45). In our opinion, that states the case with accuracy and relevance.”

It is important to take the time to check for yourself when some minister or pastor (or anyone else) teaches on a subject. Unhealthy churches often give words meanings which are not in line with what the scriptures show. Thus you end up believing something which is not true and think God is demanding it.

Some might be interested in two short articles on the website which also address make-up: Make-up And Fingernail Polish Are a Sin and Make-up.

Examining Teachings #1: Drunk In The Spirit?
Examining Teachings #2: Jezebel and Shamefaced
Examining Teachings #3: Peculiar And Separate
Examining Teachings #4: What Must I Do To Be Saved?
Examining Teachings #5: Faith Without Works Is Dead

Breaking Pentecostal

I confess to knowing little about the Amish, but recently I watched the television series “Breaking Amish” with mouth wide open wonder.  It is a reality show about young Amish and Mennonite people with one Mother thrown in.  These young people have decided to go “English” as they call it.  It means they will be throwing off their entire outer garb that declares them to the world to be in a religious sect.  Off they go to New York City to “fit in” at last.  But they can’t.  After having been taught all of their lives the do’s and don’ts of their religion, some go completely wild, others shed their “look” but seem to hold onto certain beliefs, and Mom, well, she tries it all, but couldn’t make the switch.

Throughout the show, scenes are preceded by random Bible verses that the producers feel apply to the next scene.  This series, these characters, and these scriptures taken out of context and made to apply to whatever they think it fits, reminded me of my time in the United Pentecostal Church.  The religion portrayed here had no more to do with the teachings of Jesus than any other Bible based religion of rules and regulations.  It was all about a group of people being controlled by a set of rules the leaders deemed necessary to control where they live, how they look, and what they can do.

It was tragic to watch as one young man went out and nearly ruined his life trying to live on the outside, then going back in to stay out of trouble, but then ultimately going back out because he has now become a misfit.  The young couple on the show seems to successfully make a transition to “English” life.  They throw off the outer garb, give up the horse and buggy, and drive a pickup truck but when push comes to shove, they revert back to the same old beliefs and expect others to live by them too.  The Mom goes back to her husband to live in the community, despite the fact that she knows she will never be accepted by them again.  She will also be expected to have nothing to do with her own “English” children.

Sadly, in my UPC, I saw all of these characters play out – those who go in and out, miserable in, miserable out, all the while their life never having purpose.  There are those who leave but still hold on to the idea that they know “the truth” yet pick and choose which part they hold to and expect others to hold on to same.  Then, there are those who stay despite the pull of the outside world because of fear.  An unhealthy fear of God (He will get you), fear of the leaders and fellow members opinion, or because it appeases their family; no matter how wrong they know it is.  When you are a member of a mind control group, if you stay or if you leave, your life will never be the same.

I am eternally thankful that I was able to make a clean break and no, it has not been easy.  Sometimes it feels like I have clawed and scratched out every inch of the way.  I got in as a young girl with only one of those taken out of context scriptures pounded into my mind by my grandma; so I was virgin soil in which to plant their brand of mind controlling, cookie cutter look, you better stay in line dogma.

I have learned since leaving what matters most:

Those of you who try to be put right with God by obeying the Law have cut yourselves off from Christ. You are outside God’s grace.  As for us, our hope is that God will put us right with him; and this is what we wait for by the power of God’s Spirit working through our faith.  For when we are in union with Christ Jesus, neither circumcision nor the lack of it makes any difference at all; what matters is faith that works through love.    Galatians 5:4-6 GNT

Inducing Fear in the Congregation

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 KJV

Yet they continue to try to induce fear in the members by saying things like:

Don’t you love God? when you disagree on a topic or are hesitant to accept a position.

You need a burden for this! when you really don’t have one and don’t want to do what they ask.

If you don’t give a Bible study you will go to Hell!! when you have not given a Bible study yet. Then when you finally do, there is such a feeling of relief.

If you leave this church you will be walking away from God and he will chastise you beyond belief.

And then all the other things that are rules for salvation (but they won’t admit to it) like:

You must be baptized by a certain formula or you are not saved, you must tithe to be blessed or God will get that money out of you one way or another and it won’t be fun either!, Ladies, if you even pull out a tangle from your hair it is considered cutting just as much as if you went and had it all cut off!, and so on through all the dress standards.

After awhile you are scared not to come to church. Scared not to tithe even if it brings financial hardship to you. Scared to wear a dress or skirt too short so you wear them to your ankles just to be safe. Scared to pull out a knot of hair and spend time picking it out lest the wrath of God come upon you. Scared to show your elbows so you wear sleeves down to the wrist even in hot, humid summers – and everyone is saying “Oh you will get used to it.” Scared to say no to a request to teach Sunday school or something else in case that means you are being disobedient to the pastor or his wife.

The list is endless. Yet so many who have been in these churches nearly all their lives are just as adamant about the rules as the leadership is. So why do you want to question what must be right, especially when they keep saying “We are the only church that has All The Truth.”

There is  hope. Read Isaiah 41:10 – FEAR THOU NOT!

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