Dresses, Dresses, Dresses

Do dresses make you holy???  After I was declared to have the Holy Ghost, I did not receive any inspiration from the Holy Ghost to begin wearing dresses.  In fact, being a teenager when I arrived at a United Pentecostal church, my wardrobe consisted mainly of jeans, shorts, and mini dresses.  It was the spring time of the year when I began going to this church and the following summer, I went on vacation with my family wearing pants, makeup, and bikinis.  Funny thing is I don’t remember having any feelings that this was wrong or that I was betraying the Lord in any way.

My main memory of beginning to wear only dresses came from my concern that I could possibly be seen by someone from my church with the wrong clothes on.  I also remember my mom, who was not a fan of my new church experience, questioning me “so you’re not going to wear all those clothes anymore?”  This new way of dressing had to become my passion because I needed a whole new wardrobe!  And hey, dresses were going to make me holy, right?

At first, I was at the mercy of one of the seamstresses in the church who had a penchant for heavy double knits.  I considered myself to be somewhat of a fashionista so before long I purchased a sewing machine so I could make my own dresses.  This was the early ‘70’s when the only dresses you could buy were short and unacceptable for making me holy.  Thankfully, a few years later hem lines dropped and I could buy some of my clothes.  Until then, you found me spending hours and hours making new dresses.  Dresses are serious business in my UPC church!  You must wear your newest and finest for the big Sunday night competition.

All those hours I spent sewing dresses never ever made me holy as the UPC claimed.  They did make me different which in UPC world is considered a good thing.  They love nothing better than being noticed for their different way of dressing.  Once the pastor called me to come forward before the congregation as an example of what he expected the women to dress like.  Even then, I knew, as far as my standing with the Lord, dresses meant nothing.

For about seventeen years, I wore only dresses but when I realized I could tell a lie easier than I could put on a pair of pants, something was wrong.  There was no holiness in my clothes or any inside of me.  I was an empty shell practicing a religion of works similar to those who are compelled to wear a head scarf or holy underwear.  None of these things are what God is looking at.  He is looking inside of your heart and your motives for doing what you do.  All of these outward things people do to make themselves acceptable to God have no value.  Man-made commandments and doctrines are only self-imposed religion and will in no way make you holy.  In reality, they only serve to make you proud of yourself, your effort, and your appearance.  True holiness described in Ephesians 4:24-32 comes from a heart, mind, and will that is controlled by the Holy Spirit living within.

Therefore, if you died with Christ from the basic principles of the world, why, as though living in the world, do you subject yourselves to regulations—“Do not touch, do not taste, and do not handle,” which all concern things which perish with the using— according to the commandments and doctrines of men?  These things indeed have an appearance of wisdom in self-imposed religion, false humility, and neglect of the body, but are of no value against the indulgence of the flesh.  Colossians 2:20-23 NKJV

Videos on Women only Wearing Skirts/Dresses

Just under five minutes, this is a video from a woman who grew up in a Pentecostal church. She refutes the holiness standard of women only being allowed to wear skirts and dresses. She also lightly touches on other standards taught by performance based churches and shares a little of her background and experience.

EDIT: Unfortunately, the person has made all these videos private, so they are no longer available.

Part 2 is just under ten minutes.

And part 3 is just over 9.5 minutes. Here is where she starts sharing her background.

Part 3b is just over six minutes. The sound is low on this one.

The final installment is just over ten minutes. The sounds quality fluctuates on it.

Approaching A New Year

As we approach a new year, and knowing I have more behind me than ahead of me, it becomes ever more important to own who I am. I am a child of God saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ my Lord. Much of my life found me chained to a legalistic doctrine that sapped my faith, hope and love and encouraged doubt, discouragement, fear and judgment.

Once I escaped (and it was a true and traumatic escape) I found a God of love and peace that I left behind many years ago in my quest to perform my way into salvation. There is NOTHING I could ever do to earn a place with God. Jesus already did it all and proclaimed it finished! Like Paul, I do not see this as a license to sin (realizing also that what I wear, my hair style, and where I go are not sin unless they are sinful) rather a knowledge that we are saved by faith in Christ alone, not by works, lest any should boast. The bottom line is and has always been God is Love and to be His disciple is to have love for Him and for one another—that is a bottom line where we find REAL peace. May God richly bless each one as we walk by faith into a new year with Him.

Breaking Away

About a month ago I trimmed my hair, about 1/8″ off, a few split ends, one strand at a time. But still against what I had been taught. About a week ago I wore my hair in a braid, down, for the first time in public in years. In a church that allows no physical contact between unmarried men and women, I have begun to feel more comfortable with a nonsexual embrace or tap on the shoulder, and even went out to eat with a virtual stranger in a public restaurant this morning with few qualms, although he apparently recognized that I was a bit tense.

There is nothing wrong with these things. The hair trimming may have been done in the wrong spirit (I wanted to break with the traditional teaching, and that was a lot less obvious than pants) but still, there was nothing wrong with it in and of itself. I don’t think that God would send me to hell for what I did, anymore than I can imagine him not loving me simply because I might not go to that church.

Why is God so limited in so many people’s lives? God is infinite, omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent… and yet it’s as though we expect him to fit in a tiny jewelry box and sit in our pocket. A genie in a lamp rather than a loving Father.

When my chaplain friend prayed with me, I saw through that prayer a love, faith, and trust that was almost completely foreign to me, and I realized I had been robbed- robbed of my identity in Christ. When a statement was made on a support group board about being a “precious child of God” the thought was reinforced. Knowing this, am I breaking away from something or bridging to something better?

I’ve been told for so long that listening to ideas that are not Apostolic like “we” are is to let the ideas of the devil in. But the devil wouldn’t remind me of the grace and mercy of a loving Father, wouldn’t remind me that I’m a child of God. The devil wants us condemned… and condemnation is exactly what I now feel free of. I don’t have to look over my shoulder or consider what others might think about every word I say, how they might twist it or who they might repeat (or misrepeat) it to. I still wonder how I ever thought that I was right in living for people that way. I don’t want to live for people, I want to live for God. That, in the end, is really the only way to really live.

Tomorrow I go to chapel. A safe place, for me. Tomorrow night I go to a living nativity. For the first time in years, I am really getting the opportunity to celebrate the birth of the One that saved me. How odd it is that I was not allowed to really celebrate His birth. Shouldn’t Christians, of all people, be most apt to celebrate His birth, His death, and His resurrection? What better way to celebrate our life in Him?

Joy to the World!!!

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