Breaking The Chains

We have always allowed members of our support groups to vent to a certain degree. Some need to in part because they’ve never previously had the freedom to do so. Yet there also comes a time when you need to forgive and move forward and let go of the bitterness and anger.

Allowing bitterness to remain will only hurt the individual that holds onto it and it will negatively affect other areas of their life. It does no good to remain bitter for years and to cling to past offenses. It does absolutely nothing to the person or persons who hurt you. So, in effect, one is allowing themselves to continue to be influenced and harmed by another when they remain bitter. Don’t do that to yourself.

We all have a choice in our recovery from spiritual abuse. We can choose to remain stagnant and allow the past to continue to influence us negatively the rest of our lives. Or we can choose to deal with what happened, free ourselves from any bitterness, and move forward in life.

We also need to learn to separate the error we’ve been taught from the truth of what is found in the Bible. For instance, the Bible never teaches that one cannot take medicine. No one has to choose between God and taking medicine because God never said it could not be taken. A person said it; a person who distorted the Bible. It was not God.

It is imperative for people who have been hurt in churches that twisted scriptures and left them with a distorted image of God, to learn the difference between truth and error. Just because a minister states something, it doesn’t make it true. Just because an entire organization teaches something, it doesn’t make it true. We must separate the error from the truth and see the error for what it is and not continue to associate it with God and the Bible and blame God for it.

We each have a choice – we can remain in the past and our hurts and go on for the rest of our lives reliving the times when others have hurt us and the teachings that messed us up and hindered us in our walk with God. We can continue to believe the error and live a life of bondage and feeling we can never measure up. Or we can do something about our healing, growth, and moving out of that place. There is life after spiritual abuse!

Do you want healing? Do you want freedom from bitterness? Do you want to separate error from truth?

Or do you want to continue to allow past wrongs and error to influence your life today in a negative manner?

The choice is left to each of us.

Why Am I Writing This?

If you’re reading this, you may have questions like these.

  1. Why is she recounting all these bad memories?
  2. What’s the point of rehashing all this and making it public?
  3. Why doesn’t she attempt to make these descriptions more balanced?
  4. Why is she dishonoring her parents?

The answer to the first and second questions are pretty much the same. The point is – these things happened to me, and I was very hurt and damaged. It was many years and lots of therapy before I was functional after leaving home. Similar things may be happening to other children as we speak. I hope that Mothers and Fathers might read these and rethink their actions with their children, and make it a point to instruct them with love, not criticism and fear. Maybe if some Mother of Father realizes that they’ve been unintentionally treating their child(ren) the same way, they’ll stop.

As for the third question, these are my childhood memories. The memories of a hurting child may not be a balanced view, but they may still be helpful in bringing someone else to a balanced view, if they realize that they’re doing this to their own children.

Regarding the 4th question, the truth is the truth. I have not named my parents or myself, so no one can read this and connect this with my family unless they were there. If I was naming them with the intention of embarrassing and shaming them, then my motive could be considered dishonorable. As it is, I am speaking the truth with as little possibility of causing a backlash to them that I can manage, and I do not see any dishonor in this.

John 8:32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

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