The Phallacy of the 200

Before I dive into this account, I misspelled the word “fallacy” on purpose. It’s a reference to the disturbing and tainted legacy of my former church’s founder. The story I share concerns a “prophecy” the founder made over 30 years ago that never came to pass. Still, a lot of my friends fell for the sales pitch.

Thanksgiving weekend, 1987, was supposed to be a fun time for everyone. Most normal people, unless they were on duty, went home on leave to visit loved ones. I didn’t have enough leave yet to take an extended vacation, so I joined the rest of the guys at the church for a big Thanksgiving dinner at a Norfolk supper club, hosted by the founder. The dinner would wrap up and we would load up in vans and return to the church for an evening service.

The founder stated that night what we thought was a prophecy:
“Behold, thus saith the Lord; give Me 200 men who did not care where they ate, where they slept, where they lived, or whether or not they ever get married. If you give Me this, I will use you to win the world with the gospel.”

We were worshiping and praising the Lord for what we considered at that time to be a powerful message of prophecy. We believed God was going to use all of us to go out into the mission fields around the world. The message on the surface sounded noble. However, the founder was known to preach a doctrine called “eunuchship.” Eunuchship was based on a scripture in Matthew’s gospel.

Matthew 19:12 (KJV)
For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

This is the only place in the New Testament where Jesus spoke of this. The founder encouraged men to make a vow never to get married for “the gospel’s sake;” those who did were seen as an elite group in the ministry. I never made this vow. The men who did would find themselves cheated over time.

The single men in the ministry often lived in crowded apartments, sometimes up to six in a two bedroom unit. We would spend almost every waking moment doing busywork at the church, being basically free labor for the leadership and in some cases sex partners for the founder. Yes, the founder was a closeted homosexual yet he preached vehemently against homosexuality in public. Lack of sleep, no social life, little time for personal pursuits were common and we as a group endured it because we had this promise – especially those of us who “made the vow” – God would send us out.

As the years and decades passed, this promise fell flat. Only a small number of us who followed what the founder said ever got sent out. The majority were stuck at the church building, working low wage jobs, became socially isolated, and never fulfilled their dreams. These men, once young, grew old and lost the relationships that mattered most: family, friends, professional achievements.

After leaving, I realized how bogus the “phallacy” really was. I count myself thankful to God for never tossing my life away to that extent; I lost enough years as it was. I wanted to tell some of my friends who still attend how they’ve been cheated. They more than likely would reject me, stating I backslid and am reprobate. They still believe if they remain faithful, they will be sent.

These men will go to their graves never realizing the whole “prophecy” over 30 years ago was all a scam, meant to provide free labor and sex partners. In other words, a “phallacy.”

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The ‘Standards’ Lie – They are really Laws

I always felt like I was being a little dishonest in my days as a legalist when I spoke of the rules and regulations of the faith I belonged to, particularly in trying to explain them to new converts or questioning prospects. Our ladies weren’t allowed to cut their hair, color their hair, trim their hair, perm their hair, wear short sleeve shirts, tights/leggings, wear metal of any kind in their hair, or any form of jewelry/ornamentation, etc.

The same rules applied to me, as a man, with other requirements as well, such as abstaining from facial hair or allowing my hair to grow past a few inches long. And when people questioned these, saying things like, ‘Sounds like you guys are still under the Old Testament law,’ the response was always, “No, it isn’t laws, they are standards.”

To illustrate this, I want to start off with pics (pictures prove I haven’t altered the text in any way) from two exchanges I’ve had with people on YouTube content in the past week.

In both cases, we are discussing the Oneness (Apostolic) Pentecostal Holiness movement, of which I was part of for 15 years, and their dogmas (standards) on dress. I won’t take the time to reiterate all of those things, but read these blog posts to learn more: Men and Womens Apparel in Ancient Days, The Commandments of Men, & Out of Context: Without Holiness No Man Shall See The Lord.

In both cases, the individuals are defending their church dress standards, but claim things that aren’t true, and then do what I used to do, and that is to be dishonest about what the ‘standards’ really are. These are Oneness Pentecostals responding to my videos and other videos on the same topic – dress standards being law.

This one is one of the more interesting conversations because this individual does what most Apostolic Pentecostals do. He/She initially relates their dress standards to the commandment of being “Holy,” and then declares that the only other side to the coin (in layman terms) is that you’ll just go wear mini-skirts and paint your face, which makes you a harlot. (Yes, the Apostolic Pentecostal church teaches that you can’t wear makeup and make it to heaven.)

This highlights the disease of this belief set – because it gets rooted in their heart that if you don’t dress like them, you are a harlot.

Then of course, when asked how they make the connection between ‘Be ye holy, for I am holy,’ and ‘Without Holiness, no man shall see the Lord’ and their dress rules, he/she says what I used to say.

“It’s not a dogma its preference you make it a heaven or hell issue out of it.’

That baffles me because it is actually the Apostolic Pentecostals making a heaven/hell issue out of it. In a recent conversation with a young man, he said, “Look, they are standards, not laws, and the local pastor has the right to set standards for his church. (even on things not taught in the Bible, so long as they don’t contradict the Bible) I went and talked to the pastor and even he admitted, these things like facial hair, short sleeve vs long sleeve shirts are not heaven or hell issues.

That sounded good, but then the pastor said this, (this is not verbatim, but accurate) “But, if I set the standard here, and you don’t obey me, you are sinning the sin of disobedience.”

That my friend is a law.

This one became even more interesting and this is just a small portion of the whole conversation. What always intrigues me about these ‘defenders of the faith’ is how rude and arrogant they tend to get.

All at once, Carson declares that women in the 1st century would have worn dresses like we would think of a dress today, as completely different from a man’s clothing, that the Apostle Paul taught this very simple idea, attempts to use Greek words to prove that women wore dresses, intently implies anyone who doesn’t believe this lacks basic intelligence (in another post, Carson said, “If you struggle with this simple principle you must struggle with a lot of things in life lol,”) and then goes on to say, “I dont believe a woman is going to hell because of pants.”

This is just a sampling of the fervor you will find defending the dress standards of the Apostolic Pentecostal faith. So I did a little social sampling/research, asking questions like this one.

“The Bible says not to take away from, or add to the Word. Jesus made it clear in Mark 7:7 that men who created their own laws (let’s call them standards) for the people, things outside of God’s word, were hypocrites and that worshiping Jesus in those things was vain and useless. Nowhere in Scripture does it say the Pastor has the right and duty to make up his own church rules, required for membership, that are outside of Scripture, and we aren’t talking about carpet color and instrument selection.

So, if your pastor says that men wearing facial hair is unholy – would I be allowed to be a full-fledged member of the church if I continued to wear facial hair? Would I be allowed to be a member? Would God be able to use me? Could I participate, in Choir, outreach, etc.?”

The answer, of course, is no. Unless you abide by that pastor’s standards, you have no legal standing in the Faith. So then I ask this question, “If there is no other Apostolic church in this town, and I can’t be a member of yours, how can I be saved since the majority of Apostolic Pentecostals think they are the only saved people on the earth?”

What is the difference between a Standard and a Law?

A law is something that is written into statutes that all people must obey. Disobedience to these laws results in penalization. In this simple example, the white background speed limit sign is a posted law. If you exceed this limit, you can be subject to penalties including traffic violations and fines. Normally (In the U.S.) you’ll have to appear before a judge and defend or plead your case. You are sentenced from your infraction and you pay the fine or duty that the judge imposes on you. That is how law works.

The yellow background speed sign is a standard. It is an advisory speed sign. You’ll normally see this when coming into a space of road that has a lot of curves or is windy. They will post a sign that is the suggested speed for which it is safest to drive that stretch of road. Exceeding this limit may place you in danger of not handling the road well, but it is not a traffic law violation to exceed this speed. If you are doing 35mph in a 25mph advisory zone, you have broken no laws and will not be judged for your behavior.

This highlights the simplistic distinction between Law and Standard.

You see, while we/they can claim that the standards of the Apostolic Holiness movement are not laws, they (and I was this way) are being very dishonest. I know people who defend these standards in this fashion who are not intentionally being dishonest, in fact, most aren’t, they are just regurgitating what they are being fed from the pulpit.

People will say, ‘Our dress standards are not laws,’ and yet, they will in the pulpit (and I’ve heard it hundreds of times) say, “No woman wearing pants and lipstick is going to make it to heaven.” In the first conversation image I posted, these people always backlash when you question their standards, by saying things like, “Fine, go find your self a church where you can be a harlot (wear makeup).”

If something you do keeps you out of heaven, it is because you have violated God’s law. So if the claim is, ‘You can’t go to heaven if you aren’t obeying the standards,’ then you know assuredly, that those are laws, not standards.

Now, a church and pastor may make a standard, something like, “Our church has held the standard that we do not want any married men or women in a room alone with another married person. When I (The pastor) counsel, I will not do it alone with a woman, my standard is to always have my wife with me when I counsel someone of the opposite sex. We ask all of our church members to be careful in this way.”

This is a standard. This is something based in principle, that you are not judged for, that you are not legislated by, and your membership to the church does not depend on. Would following the example set before you be extremely wise? Absolutely! but it is not a law.

God alone, if you believe in God and in His Word, is the only one capable of creating laws. Those laws were written. The faith was once (and for all) delivered unto the saints. What is going to keep you out of the Kingdom of God was clearly written in Scripture. To add to that is such a dangerous thing.

Conclusion

Let me end by saying this: If you, for yourself, believe that wearing a certain piece of clothing, or worshiping at a certain time helps keep you closer to God, than by all means, do it.

The faith which you have [that gives you freedom of choice], have as your own conviction before God [just keep it between yourself and God, seeking His will]. Happy is he who has no reason to condemn himself for what he approves.” – Romans 14:22, AMP

I am not judging you, or anyone for the personal standards and convictions they want to keep. Paul made it clear that you are blessed (happy) for those things you allow. Your own personal convictions.

What I am coming against, is entire organizations making ‘standards’ that keep people in or out of the church, and to their set of beliefs, also keep people in or out of heaven. If it wasn’t written in Scripture, and it’s taught as something you must do, it is a man-made law and should be called for what it is, an error and fallacy.

They worship Me in vain [their worship is meaningless and worthless, a pretense],
Teaching the precepts of men as doctrines [giving their traditions equal weight with the Scriptures].’ – Mark 7:7

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Losing My Identity

Some of us who left the abusive church environment faced an identity crisis. After years, even decades, of involvement, the church is a part of us. Its structure and belief systems are part of who we were.

In nearly 27 years of being deeply involved in the church, it was a very crucial part of what made me the man I became. When talking to others, I shared how I was a Christian, a licensed minister in a church, and a member of our nation’s armed forces. My faithfulness in the church and my military career were deeply intertwined; I saw each milestone as not only a moment of personal achievement, but a testimony of how God used me to be an example to the men and women I served with. As I advanced in rank and earned my warfare qualifications in the Navy, the pastor also shared this with the congregation. We had a large number of men and women in the church who served in the military and had the same testimony. We made the church look great through our personal successes.

20 years of faithful, honorable service led to the privilege of retiring from the Navy. As I made the move to civilian life, I wanted to use the same drive to be that testimony to the people around me. I sought to be the best I could be in “the real world” just as I did in the service. My identity was still one where church, career, and service were intertwined. Each achievement on the job I took as an example of how God used me to be that example to everyone around me.

Then, the day came where everything was stripped from me. A year after starting a new job, I asked about changes in the church’s direction and teachings. I felt we were drifting from biblical teachings to a more watered down message. I sensed a loss of urgency in preaching the gospel. I also questioned why the church changed its name, removing ‘Apostolic‘ from it.

I voiced my concerns about embracing the 501(c)(3) IRS code, which places restrictions on what churches can and cannot say. There was also the discovery, through the state sex offender registry, that a church elder served time in prison for molesting an underage girl. Note: I didn’t have an opportunity to discuss the issue concerning the elder, but others did after my departure. I voiced my concerns to another elder, and my response was “I understand, brother, but HE’s the pastor.” This was a polite way of saying I was no longer welcome.

The reality of that statement floored me as I drove home. Decades of dedication to the church, forging a crucial part of what made me the man I became, was rendered void in one 10 second answer. My identity was taken away from me.

I have no answers to anyone at this time on how to find or create a new identity after being stripped by the church. I’m still working on that myself. I know I still believe in Jesus Christ, am a proud veteran, and a loving soul. At the same time, being booted from the church stripped me of a major part of my identity. I still struggle as many do in finding a church home where I can feel wanted, safe, and able to make a difference.

God bless us all as we reconstruct our lives in Him.

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Finances: Church or Family?

In my over 25 years of being involved in abusive churches, one theme seems to be common in almost all of them. Regardless of doctrine, they all sound identical when it comes to money.

I attended churches where tithing was taught as mandatory for believers. We were told that the tithe came first before all things – bills, taxes, child support, mortgages, and any other expenses. Malachi 3 was drilled in our heads and we were told to never rob God of His portion. The pastors and teachers always differentiated between tithes and offerings. We GAVE offerings, and PAID tithes.

One United Pentecostal Church evangelist shared a story where a single mother who barely made ends meet asked for counsel. She asked the evangelist whether she should pay her mortgage instead of her tithe since her income didn’t afford her the means to do both. His response was loud and clear: “I would rather miss a house payment than to make God angry because He wasn’t put number one!” To this day I don’t know if that woman ever got her financial situation fixed.

As one of the faithful men, I made sure my tithe was the first thing I paid. For over 20 years all seemed to be well; my military career was pretty successful up until I retired in 2005. My first couple years working civilian jobs went the same way. Good income, tithes paid on time. Bills and other expenses were on track with funds left over. Then, disaster hit.

In late 2007 my marriage began to fall apart, and in conjunction with that my finances took a dive. I was left to clean up a nasty mess left by my wife, and it drove me to bankruptcy. I went to the UPCI pastor at the church I attended for help and guidance as my dreams of marriage and family crashed and burned. The pastor’s first question was “Brother, why did you stop tithing?” He was quicker to ask that than to offer direction in trying to save my marriage. I didn’t know what to say.

Looking back I am appalled at the pastor’s priorities. When pastors and preachers tell parishioners to choose between tithing and family, it places a believer in a no-win scenario: pay the bills and be guilty of robbing God, or pay the tithe and be guilty of not providing for one’s household. Either way the believer loses, and that’s a terrible place to be. No pastor worth his or her salt should ever spiritually extort a believer like this. In my experience I even saw a family lose their home to foreclosure despite being faithful in their tithing and giving. To the best of my knowledge, the church never offered to help this family keep their home. They ended up relocating to another state and eventually found another church.

This is one reason why I have trouble now trusting church leadership. The leaders live luxuriously like kings while congregants exist in poverty. The tithe, one meant for the Levites (nowhere is it mentioned for the New Testament church), basically pays the preacher’s salary and the “Sunday Morning Entertainment.”

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Eating the Forbidden Fruit of Truth Part 4

Continued from Part 3.

Having tasted the forbidden fruit of truth, I couldn’t close my eyes ever again. Action needed to be done. I worked on a reform proposal during the deployment, and I arranged a meeting with the pastor upon my return. I first went home on leave.

During my time home, I suffered an emotional meltdown. I was overwhelmed with the realization those whom I trusted the most lied to me about the most important things. I returned rested and recovered. The pastor left his desk and actually sat in the chair next to me – something he rarely did. The pastor then informed me my reform proposal was rejected in its entirety. I was floored. I thought for sure because I had been involved with the ministry as long as I had, plus was considered an elder, the leadership would listen to me. I was dead wrong.

A few months would pass before I finally found my exit. While I waited, I continued to read and interact with those on the website, realizing I couldn’t continue the charade of being in a ministry built on corruption and lies.

My moment came on March 19, 2003. A church meeting was held where we were all issued 3×5 cards where we were to mark YES or NO concerning our confidence in the leadership. I wrestled with the decision, but I believe at that instant God told me to write NO on the 3×5 card. It was time to leave.

Truth isn’t always pleasant. At the same time, truth is liberating. I have no regrets eating that forbidden fruit.

Rescuing Randy is one mother’s story about the harm caused by L.R. Davis, who started as a United Pentecostal Church minister.

Eating the Forbidden Fruit of Truth Part 1
Eating the Forbidden Fruit of Truth Part 2

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