United Pentecostal Pastor Ron Bohde & Two Youth Ministers

It is not my intention in this article to go into details of the two United Pentecostal Church related sexual abuse cases that will be mentioned here. Those will hopefully be covered in future articles. What I wish to share are my thoughts on how Ronald Earl Bohde, one of their pastors, handled two separate sexual abuse cases, each at a different church. It is infuriating that a pastor can fail to report the sexual abuse of a minor to police and then years later, support a different youth leader who was found guilty of 19 counts of sexual abuse involving four minor girls. Why the UPCI continues to license men who mishandle sexual abuse cases is absolutely mind boggling. It seems they need to toss their 2019 position paper on sexual abuse as words without actions are meaningless. This is Part 40 of an ongoing series about sexual abuse in the United Pentecostal Church (see links at the end).

Ron Bohde was raised in the United Pentecostal Church as his father, Earl S. Bohde was a long-time UPCI minister, going back to the 1950s in Oklahoma and Arizona. Ron graduated from the Salinas High School in 1976 and was a graduate in 1980 of Christian Life College (then known as Western Apostolic Bible College) and has been preaching ever since. He claimed that when he was 24, he turned down an offer to pastor a church in Collinsville, Oklahoma, where he had preached a revival. He has been a pastor in Mississippi, Oregon, and then his present church in Dinuba, California, where he started in late March 2016. While in Mississippi, he also worked as an administrative assistant for the District. In 1999 he became the director of Home Missions of the Mississippi District, which it appears he held for a year.

In the late 1980s, Ron Bohde was pastor of the UPC of the Reservoir in Jackson, Mississippi for a brief time and for about three years in the late 80s to the very early 1990s he was pastor at the Pentecostal Lighthouse Church in Meadville, MS. He then pastored the New Chapel Pentecostal Church in Collins, MS where he remained until 2005. It appears that after this he took a break from pastoring while remaining in Mississippi. In 2008 he became the pastor at Bethel United Pentecostal Church in Hillsboro, Oregon. While in Oregon, he owned Bethel Wood Works, an pen and oil vessel business. During the latter part of Bohde’s time in Oregon, the church had a daughter work in Seaside, Bethel Apostolic, which later folded, followed by another using the same name in Forest Grove, which also closed. In March 2016, Ronald Bohde became the pastor of Calvary Apostolic Church in Dinuba, California, where he remains as of the writing of this article. He is 62 years old.

Why does this article point out the various places where Ron Bohde has been a pastor? It is because, in my opinion and that of others, in two of these churches (Bethel & Calvary Apostolic), there was a sexual abuse case involving a youth leader and each was not properly handled. One cannot help but wonder if similar might have occurred at any of these other churches, and/or if there may have been additional cases at Bethel and Calvary Apostolic, but they never hit the news nor were prosecuted. Let’s take a brief look at these sexual abuse cases where the youth leaders were prosecuted.

“This was a worst-case scenario when it comes to a church and a pastor not cooperating.” – Prosecutor Kevin Barton, regarding the Dylan Ritterman case in Hillsboro, Oregon, and referring to Ronald Bohde.

Pictured below: Convicted sex offender Dylan Ritterman, UPCI Pastor Ronald Bohde, convicted sex offender Victor Becerra.

“Just to mess with their minds- I’m just praying that they get rain, cold and soaked wet, and miserably enjoy their protest.” – UPCI Pastor Ron Bohde, speaking at a church service in 2020, to the applause and laughter of church members. He was referring to a group of protestors comprised of the victims’ family and friends.

The following in bold is what was reported in part by The Oregonian on May 21, 2015 regarding the case against Dylan Ritterman and Ron Bohde’s response and knowledge of one of the victims. Bohde did not report the abuse to police when he first learned of it and was not initially cooperative with police when they were investigating the charges.

“This was a worst-case scenario when it comes to a church and a pastor not cooperating,” Barton said.

Barton said the church’s head pastor first declined to speak with police without a briefing on their investigation, which officers would not provide, and then declined unless his insurance agent could be present.

Finally, the head pastor talked to police and revealed with a “heavy heart” that he had known about the abuse of one of the boys. The teen had told the pastor about the abuse, Barton said, and the pastor told him to document it in a letter. But the boy didn’t speak English well and was incapable of writing a letter in English.

In May 2015, Dylan John Ritterman pleaded guilty to two counts each of attempted first-degree sexual abuse and second-degree sexual abuse of two boys at Bethel United Pentecostal Church, where Ronald Bohde was pastor. Ritterman was a youth and worship leader, minister, he lead services, taught and was involved in the Spanish ministry. It happened when the boys were in their early teens and some of the abuse occurred on church property. There was a third case which was dropped as part of the plea bargain. Ritterman was sentenced to prison for six years and eight months. His earliest possible release date is December 27, 2021.

On May 22, 2015, SNAP issued a statement asking the Portland religious leaders to shun the church leaders and urged law enforcement to press charges against the leaders due to how they handled everything. It stated that the pastor should be harshly punished. Less than a year later, in late March 2016, Bohde left Oregon to pastor the Calvary Apostolic Church in Dinubi, California. One must wonder if this church was made aware of the Ritterman case prior to this.

Ministers should not idly sit back while their colleagues – in any denomination – endanger kids, conceal crimes, rebuff police, and behave in ways that bring shame on people of faith.

When ministers do nothing while other ministers endanger kids, all churches become less safe. – SNAP, May 22, 2015, referring to Ron Bohde and Bethel United Pentecostal Church

The following in bold is what was reported in part by The Mid Valley Times  on November 11, 2020 regarding the case against Victor Becerra and Ron Bohde’s response.

But the pastor also continued to deny the claims and further wished rain and discomfort on a group of protestors made up of the victims’ family and friends.

“I don’t believe that he did it,” said Bohde. “Just to mess with their minds — I’m just praying that they get rain, cold and soaked wet, and miserably enjoy their protest.”

The comments received laughter and applause from his congregation.

On October 8, 2020, a jury found Victor Becerra, a former licensed United Pentecostal minister, guilty of 19 counts of child molestation of four minor girls at Calvary Apostolic Church in Dinuba, California where Ronald Bohde is the pastor and Becerra was a youth leader. In 2021 he was sentenced to prison for 228 years to life. In an October 14, 2020 article from The Mid Valley Times, it was noted:

“We were finally able to sleep well,” said Veronica Reese, mother of two of the victims, after Becerra was convicted. “It’s so amazing. They (her two daughters) were emotional and crying. But, we finally got justice.”

Reese stated that throughout the allegations, prosecution and trial, members from Calvary Apostolic Church continued to defend Becerra as they accused her and other victims of fabricating the abuse. It was also reported that the church bailed Becerra out of prison after his initial arrest. – October 14, 2020 The Mid Valley Times

After Becerra’s conviction, in an outdoor service, Bohde spoke about being treated wrong and that the protests on the church sidewalks were attempting to “disrupt and harass” them. He mentioned how enemies should be treated and loving those people. Yet it appears he forgot this just a short time later, when he wished ill on the protestors, as reported by The Mid Valley Times.

Survivors should not have to endure a pastor and church mishandling what happened as they have more than enough dealing with their sexual abuse. In my opinion, Ron Bohde is a perfect example of the need for the United Pentecostal Church’s position paper on sexual abuse. Will the UPC add actions to their words and intervene in cases like this? From what we have seen so far, their response has been mostly silence as Bohde continues to hold license with them and pastor one of their churches.

You will find a complete list of articles in this series by clicking here.

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.

Book Giveaway- Christianity Without The Cross

As with all of our giveaways, this is only open to those with a USA mailing address.

The matter of the Westberg Resolution underscores a serious dilemma in the constitutional structure of the United Pentecostal Church.  . . .Issues like this resolution are decisions made by a minority on behalf of the majority which is extremely ‘problematic in terms of policy-making.’  . . .The following group of ministers have been identified as among the constituency of this group which carries the banner of doctrinal uniformity: R.D. Whalen, the late David F. Gray, Paul Price, Billy Hale, . . .John W. Grant and others. Such small but vocal groups maintain a great deal of control. These comments reflect a fairly widespread opinion backed up by an examination of the procedural by-laws of the organization which concludes that because only a small portion of ministers actually attend General Conference the result is that the UPC is ‘a minority policy making organization.’ The high figures estimate that less than one-seventh of the ministerial constituency were present for the discussion on this issue at the Salt Lake City General Conference.– Thomas A. Fudge

This is your chance to receive a used copy of Christianity Without the Cross: A History of Salvation in Oneness Pentecostalism by Thomas Fudge, a former United Pentecostal Church member, whose father is an ordained minister in the organization. Fudge interviewed over 200 people and thoroughly documents information concerning their history. One thing you rarely see mentioned is the fact that one of the two groups which formed the UPC was not as hard line in beliefs as the UPC is today. Some believed a person was saved when they came to God in repentance. This can be seen in the very first edition of their official publication, The Pentecostal Herald, where they invited differing articles on the “new birth.”

To view the first 25 pages of his book go here. You may read an article from a Canadian newspaper which described the then forthcoming book as well as an article by Thomas Fudge concerning why he wrote the book.

This giveaway is a drawing and not a first come, first served giveaway. To enter, just leave a comment to show you wish to be included. The drawing will close on Tuesday, December 15 at 8pm (eastern time), after which I will draw the winner. You will then need to email me your mailing address if I do not already have it. Watch your spam email folder. There is absolutely no cost to enter. Don’t be alarmed if your comment does not immediately show as they require approval when you are commenting for the first time.

We always provide these at no charge to our readers.

We also have a giveaway in progress for two copies of Diane Langberg’s book, Redeeming Power: Understanding Authority and Abuse in the Church. The deadline is the same.

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.

Blindsided: Our Letter to the Witnesses

**Names marked with an asterisk (*) have been changed for the privacy of individuals and their families**

As we prepared to leave Antioch Baptist Church in early September 2018, I began to assemble a document describing the events that transpired from June 2018 to September 2018 that eventually led up to our departure. This document included, but was not limited to, transcripts of Douglas Stauffer’s voicemail, private Facebook messages between Pastor Andrew Ray, Douglas Stauffer, Matthew Olds, and myself, as well as copies of the email sent to our pastor about the harassment, and summaries of the meetings that took place.

My husband, simply desiring peace, was not supportive of the idea, but Pastor Andrew Ray’s words continued to repeat in my head about how we were not supposed to know that about the letter to the Crawfords*. The church’s letter not only dismissed the Crawfords* from church membership and the Antioch Baptist Bible Institute, but even callously threatened to contact their oldest daughter’s religious educational establishment should their family not leave in a way acceptable to the ones behind the letter! I find it ironic that Pastor Andrew Ray and Douglas Stauffer repeatedly attempted to invalidate my concerns by claiming them as merely transference from my past, and yet, Pastor Andrew Ray stooped as low as  my mentor’s husband (Randy) to threaten a teenager’s college education as a means of silencing and control!

Both agreeing that such actions were not only appalling but manipulative, my husband I finally compromised by deciding to limit the recipients of the document we had created to just the few witnesses present at the final meeting with Douglas Stauffer. My husband desired to not cause division or strife, but I had felt strongly that our church needed to know the truth.

A copy of the abstract and list of documents sent to the witnesses is  provided below:

 

To Our Friends and Family at Antioch Baptist Church

Abstract:

This message/email is sent to inform our fellow members and church family at Antioch Baptist Church of events on-going from June 3, 2018 to the beginning of September 2018 despite attempts to reconcile. Despite apologizing for the initial Facebook post, Doug Stauffer continued to harass my family in June. Two months later in August, after my wife attempted the beginning of possibly making amends, he endeavored to bully our family once again under the guise of attempting to move forward. On August 22, 2018, he approached us to say that he wants to clarify things and attempt to rectify the situation, but if not possible, he said that he will step down, leave, and the prior accusations of harassment will be brought before the church. Because accusations of harassment were brought up to Pastor Ray following the incident in June, Stauffer falsely believed himself to be a victim of the #MeToo movement. By further threatening to step down and leave without resolution, he further believed himself to be the victim, rather than the perpetrator. Pastor and Stauffer have continually stated that the accusations are a mere transference of my wife’s history with spiritual abuse to negate the validity of said accusations.

When asking pastor to attend the meeting so he would be aware of threats of stepping down and leaving by a Sunday School teacher, Pastor accused my wife and I of attempting to hurt our church based on actions in June. He further attempted to control the number of witnesses and who the list consisted of, as well as threatened to have men present in the meeting to address these past actions. We have compiled a list of correspondence between Stauffer, Pastor, and my family so that our those present in the meetings can be informed of the facts in case that a men’s meeting is called after we have left the church. This way, at least we may have some representation from those men. We have further decided to leave Antioch Baptist Church for the sake of peace in this situation that keeps blowing up in our faces time and time again. I am aware that sending this may not appear to be peaceable, but we are not wanting everyone in the church to know necessarily. Again, this is simply in case there is a meeting called in which there is a meeting pertaining to my family.

The following is a list of Documents included, [followed] by Key Information about the Documents Included on the following Page:

A. Original Facebook Message by Crystal Olds on June 3, 2018

B. Transcript of Stauffer’s Voicemail to Matthew Olds on June 3, 2018 after Evening Service

C. Transcripts of Stauffer’s Messages at Antioch Baptist Church

D. Facebook Correspondence between Doug Stauffer, and Matt and Crystal Olds

E. Facebook Correspondence between Pastor Ray and Matt Olds

F. New Facebook Apology Post by Crystal Olds

G. Facebook Correspondence between Pastor Ray, Doug Staffer, and Matt and Crystal Olds

H. Private Message Sent from Doug Stauffer to Crystal Olds (Matt Olds not included)

I. Continued Messages between Pastor Ray, Doug Stauffer, Matt and Crystal Olds

J. Replacement Apology Facebook Post by Crystal Olds

K. Summary of Tuesday Meeting with Doug Stauffer, Matt and Crystal Olds, and Grayson Campbell* (witness)

L. Summary of Tuesday Meeting with Pastor Ray and Matt Olds

M. Twitter Post from Doug Stauffer on Thursday

N. Meeting with Pastor Ray on the following Sunday

O. Apology from Doug Stauffer on Monday Evening

P. Apology to Crawfords* on Tuesday

Q. Text Messages Between Pastor Ray and Crystal Olds (Matthew Olds Included) about Apology to Mary*

R. Email to Pastor Ray with Accusations of Harassment from Doug Stauffer and Analysis of Doug Stauffer’s character

S. Meeting with Pastor Ray and Matthew Olds about Email about Harassment

T. Text Message Between Pastor Ray and Crystal Olds (Matthew Olds Included) after Meeting Between Pastor Ray, Matthew Olds and Crystal Olds

U. Doug Stauffer’s August attempts at bullying, creating a hostile environment

V. Phone Conversation with Pastor the Day Before Meeting with Doug Stauffer

W. Meeting with Doug Stauffer with Three Witnesses

X. Letter of Resignation Given to Pastor Ray on Sunday, September 9, 2018 Following the Morning Service

In this series I share my thoughts and opinions concerning these ministers and the events which led to my departure. Click here to continue reading: “Blindsided: Finally Speaking Out” or click on the link below.

For a list of the complete series, click here.

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.

When Legacy And Sexual Abuse Collide: John Shivers Part 2

(Some statements in this article are what have been alleged by others. The allegations all appear to be involving adults and not children. There have been no convictions or criminal arrests and to my knowledge, the alleged perpetrator has not admitted guilt.)

This is Part 39 of an ongoing series. Back in March, I posted about a situation in the Western District of the United Pentecostal Church, where it was alleged that one of their pastors had been accused of multiple instances of sexual misconduct. (See Part One.) A complaint had been filed with the Western District in January 2019 and they held an investigation under their judicial procedure and found the minister to be guilty of several serious allegations.

Due to what has been stated in their Manual for years, I believe it is abundantly clear that this minister should have had his license revoked immediately at the end of the investigation. Instead, John Shivers [Video has since been deleted.] was told to resign from the church and undergo more than a year of sexual predator therapy. Because his license was not immediately removed, it is alleged that this continued to be covered up and it was made to appear he was yet the pastor. In addition, as of the 2020 UPCI Directory, which was printed in January, as well as the UPCI online church locator in March 2020, John Shivers was still shown as an ordained minister, with his name listed as the pastor of Centro Vida Church, as well as other churches, though he was no longer mentioned as a District Presbyter, a position which he held for years.

Kenneth Haney

It is my opinion that Shivers may have been treated differently because he married into a famous name within the organization- the Kenneth Haney family. It wouldn’t be the first time a minister was given preferential treatment because of their name or status in the organization. Besides being a pastor, Kenneth Haney served as a General Superintendent, among other things. His father, Clyde, started a UPCI Bible college in Stockton, California, which Kenneth took over after his father’s death. Kenneth and Joy Haney had five children and John Shivers married their daughter, Elizabeth ‘Liz’ Haney.

John Shivers

Besides the accusations against John Shivers, [Note: He has since removed this Facebook profile, but yet has this one.] there are allegations that Kenneth and Joy Haney covered up Shivers’ alleged sexual assault of a student at Christian Life College. It is alleged that Liz Haney was also aware of at least some of the accusations. This entire situation runs very deep in the UPCI and if it is true that the Haney family covered up the sexual abuse of a student, that is inexcusable and reprehensible. Joy Haney yet holds license in the UPCI. The current General Superintendent, David Bernard, would have been made aware of allegations against Shivers at least as far back as when the Western District complaint was filed by one of the victims. The position paper on abuse and sexual misconduct, adopted at the 2019 UPCI General Conference, was at least in part inspired by what has happened in this case.

Despite all this, Shiver’s still was seen speaking at the church on August 5 and guess what he is speaking on? Unforgiveness. (NOTE: Some time after we shared this, the video was made private.)

I will end this by sharing a post made by one of the alleged victims of John Shivers, that was made public by them on Facebook on Sunday, August 2, 2020. [August 8 note: This person has since removed or made private the post.] Please note that the victim mentioned who was allegedly “ignored by the elders of Centro Vida Church and by Bruce Howell” is a currently licensed United Pentecostal minister. It should also be noted that Tim Moran is married to one of the Haney’s daughters. Nathaniel Haney is Kenneth Haney’s son.  Bruce Howell is the Global Missions Director of the UPCI. As you can see, this situation has tentacles running throughout the United Pentecostal Church.

PLEASE SHARE this post so that victims who have been silenced, shamed, and threatened, can come forward. Shame belongs to the perpetrator, the enablers, those that covered for the sexual predator. It never belongs to the victim.

“Making it possible to avoid the consequences…” [Lois’ Note: part of the definition of enabler.] How does a (former) minister of the United Pentecostal Church get away with sexual assault, sexual harassment, attempted rape, and 20+ years of being a sexual predator? They are enabled. Kenneth and Joy Haney knew of John Shivers sexual assault of a student at Christian Life College. (as did his wife Elizabeth Shivers, documented and verified) They did nothing. John Shivers was never disciplined. Their lack of action enabled him as a sexual predator for the next 20+ years. After one of his victims was repeatedly ignored by the elders of Centro Vida Church and by Bruce Howell, finally was heard by the Western District Board, John Shivers was investigated and unanimously found guilty. Part of the discipline enacted by the Western District Board was John Shivers was required to resign as pastor of Centro Vida Church. However, it was hidden from the saints at Centro Vida Church as Nathaniel Haney, and Tim Moran, lied to the Centro Vida church (from the pulpit, on video) about the reason John Shivers was no longer in the pulpit. Quote from Nathaniel Haney addressing the Centro Vida Church:

“your pastor never takes any time off, he burns the candle on both ends, but after a while you start getting empty if you don’t take some time to fill back up. . . so Pastor Shivers is filling up right now, so he can come back and feed his people, …we want Pastor Shivers to have that time alone with God… let’s pray that God will speak to him, God will give him new revelation and he will move deeper in the Spirit that he has ever been.”

Tim Moran lied (from the pulpit, on video) to the saints at Centro Vida about John Shivers no longer being the pastor. Instead of telling the truth he instead on a Sunday morning before Elizabeth Shivers took the pulpit (she refused to leave the church even though her husband was no longer pastor, furthering the cover-up of her husbands resignation as pastor) told the church:

“Sister Shivers will be speaking this morning….Her (Liz Shivers) and her husband (John Shivers) are the Pastors of Centro Vida and oversee Life Church. We are the Pastors of Life Church, but we are accountable to them, and they are the seniors pastors. So if you want to know how it’s organized, that’s how we’re organized. We all have to have accountability, we all have to have authorities in our lives.”

After repeatedly failing to adhere to the discipline set down by the Western District Board, John Shivers was stripped of his UPC ministerial license and permanently banned from the UPCI by the Western District Board.

Victims of John Shivers or any other UPC minister/pastor should know that you have as allies, David Bernard, and the Western District Board. They will take action on your behalf. You will not be ignored, you will not be shamed. Your voice will be heard.

Unfortunately, the voices of the women from Calvary Gospel Church have not been heard by David Bernard or the Wisconsin District Board.

Part Three

August 24, 2022 edit: Today the Stockton Record released an article about John Shivers. You must have a digital subscription to read it. See https://www.recordnet.com/story/news/2022/08/24/pastor-john-shivers-accused-sexual-assault-preaching-stockton-centro-vida-pentecostal-church/5695797001/

You will find a complete list of articles in this series by clicking here.

********
Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.

An Introduction To Elephants

The following was written by former United Pentecostal Church minister Jon Eckenrod, and used with his permission. Jon held license for about twenty years and left the organization in 2007.

****************

I also want to say a word to my peers and leaders still in the ministry in the United Pentecostal Church, International. For all our efforts to “preach Jesus,” and point people to the cross, in practice we accomplished the opposite. Every time we shamed someone for not measuring up, we turned them from Jesus—not to Him. We turned them to their own lack of ability to overcome, and then to our leadership to help them become better Christians—a subject about which we were ill-equipped to offer counsel. Too many of our congregants just gave up trying and decided to either “look the part,” thereby becoming hypocrites, or leave church altogether. Of course, we attributed this to a “lack of will power” or discipline. In truth, we all know that none of us was able to live as “holy” and “pure” as we preached. Consequently, in practice, we produced an atmosphere conducive to secret sin and hypocrisy. And much to our dismay, our congregants catch on quickly. They follow the leader.

The answer for all of us lies in the grace of God, not in our efforts to become more spiritual. Pastors, it is my prayer for you and your congregations that you discover and experience the grace that I have found. What a relief to find rest, not in my ability to “pray through,” but in the arms of Jesus. – Jon Eckenrod

The proverbial elephant in the room is the issue that is plain to everyone, but about which no one wants to talk. Why don’t we like to talk about the elephants? By their nature elephants are big. To acknowledge them is to begin to deal with a problem that is uncomfortable. Usually the issue is difficult and has no easy solution. So, we ignore it, or at least we try. But, because of their size, elephants are hard to ignore. The longer we turn a blind eye to them, the more difficult they are to address. Some ‘elephants’ may start out relatively small, but over time, if not dealt with, they become enormous. And the cost of dealing with them increases with each passing day.

Dr. Joseph Umidi, one of my professors at Regent University School of Divinity, told our class that when a leader does not address elephants in the room, followers begin to “collect injustices.” In other words, they begin to take note of every mistake the leader makes. They collect them, and soon, all they can see are these injustices when they look at the leader. Dr. Umidi likened it to looking at your environment through a clear pen (one of those old-fashioned Bic pens). When the first injustice occurs, the pen appears, and it is in your line of sight (perhaps at arm’s length), but you can see everything around it clearly. As more injustices are collected, the pen moves closer to your eyes, so that it fills more of your field of vision. Soon, the pen is right next to your eyes, and you can only see everything else through the pen. This is very dangerous and very toxic. That is why it is so important for leaders to be willing to address the elephants in the room—no matter how unpleasant they are.

You don’t need a room full of people in order for elephants to appear. You can create them in your private life, which is what I did. When I saw problems and chose to ignore them, or had doubts and questions, and deferred addressing them until a later date—voila! Elephants were created. When I stopped being afraid of the truth, I began to see the elephants clearly.

Life is so very uncomfortable in a room full of elephants. In some respects, I feel like I know what an elephant stampede is like. It is overwhelming. You feel like there is nowhere to go, nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. And in truth, there isn’t. And it is very painful to endure. The elephants come straight at you, demanding to be acknowledged and dealt with. And when the stampede is over—when you have looked each elephant squarely in the eye and addressed the problems that they posed—you wonder what just happened. You try to get your bearings again. I am still in the process of doing that, but now Jesus Christ is at the center of it all. And that makes all the difference.

The journey has not been easy. It has been painful at times, and my family members have been the ‘beneficiaries’ of much of that pain. But, by God’s grace, I was forced to address my elephants. I wouldn’t want it any other way (unless I could go back and stop the elephants from being created in the first place). Why was I afraid to acknowledge the truth? Why did I refuse to look objectively at the group with which I had been associated for so many years? For any one of us, the main reason is fear. Quite frankly, I was afraid that what I believed might be wrong. I was afraid of what that would mean. What would it cost me if I discovered that I was in error—that my organization was in error? What would that mean for my future, and for the future of my family? If I found that we had been wrong about our interpretation of scripture, could I stay in the organization? We were on a promising career track, and I had no desire to jeopardize that. And I certainly didn’t want to experience the ostracism that I had witnessed so many others who had left the organization experience. I didn’t want that for my family. There were too many questions with too many very troubling and painful answers. It was easier to remain ‘willfully ignorant’ than to do anything to rock the boat.

It is a sad commentary on any organization when a person must weigh whether to leave or not based on a fear of ostracism, rather than on truth and what is best for the individual or family. When this is the case, it indicates a major problem with the system. If it is fear that keeps us from looking objectively at our groups, we need to ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?” Would Jesus cause us to be afraid to leave and go somewhere else? Would he make us fear to ask difficult questions? When we did have questions, would he shame us for doubting? Would he make us feel like we were the ones with the problem just because we questioned him? Finally, if Jesus would not make us afraid to ask the tough questions, then we need to ask another question: just what kind of people are running our organizations? Are we afraid to answer that? What an awful thing fear is. Truly, “fear hath torment,” (1 John 4:18, KJV).

There were times when I would address some of these nagging doubts and questions, but it was always within the context of believing that what I was taught was true. So I had to figure out why my doubts were unfounded. Or I had to figure out a way to prove why another’s objections to my beliefs were invalid. I never addressed these things objectively. That is the way most ministers and congregants addressed these questions. We were right. We just had to figure out why others were wrong. This approach is wrong-headed, and it only serves to make our elephants grow.

My intent in writing this is to expose my own shortcomings—my own humanness, if you will. I want to demonstrate how I ignored signs that I was heading in the wrong direction. I suppressed feelings. I minimized and rationalized away warnings that should have made me stop and reconsider. We all have a propensity to ignore the obvious when it doesn’t fit the context within which we live. We turn a blind eye to information when it could cause our world to crumble down around us. This is really the basis of ‘group think.’ We slowly lose the ability to look at our own group objectively. To a degree, breeding elephants is a result of self-preservation. It helps us survive and even thrive within our groups.

I don’t want people to become critical about everything in life. Life is too short. But I also don’t want people to be afraid to think critically about those things that don’t add up. I want to encourage anyone in any circumstance to not ignore those gut feelings, those signs that cause inner-turmoil. We need to be free to think objectively about ourselves and the groups of which we are a part. It is OK to examine our belief systems, and those of our churches, our leaders, or our organizations.

In doing this, there is one thing that I cannot emphasize enough: we can not be afraid to allow objective observers to look at our lives and speak to us about what they see. It is difficult to do. We are prideful, and we know intuitively that they wouldn’t understand if we tried to explain everything about our groups. But we must make the effort to find someone who doesn’t have some ulterior motive of trying to get us to join their group, and who is good at just listening—someone who won’t judge us, but who will be brutally honest with us. Sadly, for many who are involved in groups like the one I was a part of, we don’t feel like we have someone on the outside that we can trust. We have been conditioned to believe that people on the outside have suspect motives or that they are deceived—so they can’t help. But, if at all possible, we all need to find someone who can look at us objectively, which disqualifies those within our groups. I guess what I am trying to say is, we need to ‘open our eyes!’ It is difficult for elephants to breed when our eyes are open and others are watching with us.

At this point, I must point out that I don’t have it all figured out. As a matter of fact, I still have a lot of questions about a lot of issues. But I am not ignoring them, and I’m not afraid to address them. Also, I do not in any way claim to be a scholar or an expert in theology. I just want to share what I do know, and what I have learned. I hope this helps you learn as well.


Click to access the login or register cheese
YouTube
YouTube
Set Youtube Channel ID
x  Powerful Protection for WordPress, from Shield Security
This Site Is Protected By
ShieldPRO