Category: no pants on women

I have not wrote about my UPC (United Pentecostal Church) upbringing anywhere other than on this site, so these blogs will be my first attempt to organize these memories. Here goes.

I remember the first time I went to a UPC church. I was 4, and my Mom and I went to visit the church we would eventually join and I would spend most of my childhood in. I loved it. It was beautiful, there were lots of people, fast music, and Sunday School was fun. I can’t remember much else about those early years, except we started spending a LOT of time there.

Soon, things were changing in our house. Over the next 3 years or so, Mom started trying to get us kids to stop watching TV, even though Dad still watched it. (Dad did not go to church.) She started insisting on praying out loud before meals, even though that meant that Dad wouldn’t come to the table till she stopped. Mom started spending all her time reading books that looked like encyclopedias and laying on her face ‘praying’ in a process that looked very painful. If me or my little sister interrupted her, she’d become enraged, sometimes hitting us. The hitting wouldn’t really be considered abuse if the harshness of it was compared to a ‘normal’ spanking, but if only the reason for it were examined, the result might be different. It seems abusive to me to hit a child who needs assistance simply because the child interrupted a prayer. This doesn’t seem Christlike.

Another change in our home was that we had to start wearing dresses all the time. When I started school, this became a big issue for me. The kids at school asked a lot of times why I wasn’t able to dress normal, and not being able to wear pants meant that I was excluded from many activities. I could have done the activities in the skirts, but the school wouldn’t allow me to try. My Dad hated all this, and it caused no end of conflict between my parents because my Mom never backed down on any of these rules. Things in my home got more and more tense.

At 5 and 6 years old, there would be occasions where I would cry for hours to be allowed to wear a pair of jeans. I wanted to be normal so bad, but I couldn’t seem to articulate my feelings in any other way than “I just want to wear jeans”. My Mom had no patience with these crying spells, she would get very angry and want my Dad to punish me for being so silly. Dad would reply that he’d just give me a pair of pants so I would shut up. Mom would then say something to the affect of “I’ll just deal with her myself” and I’d be punished. Grounded from seeing friends or going to Grandma’s house – inevitably, something that I enjoyed would be taken away for a time to teach me not to “lust after the world”.

Around this time, I noticed that my Mom started getting up behind the pulpit at our church and preaching. I remember hoping that this would make her happy and things would get better at home. It didn’t happen that way.

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Sometimes I receive an inquiry like this, “I don’t think it’s wrong for a woman to wear pants, but I can’t even bring myself to consider going out in public with them. Why??”

Please don’t push yourself in this direction. Part of having the freedom to wear what you feel is permissible, is to not wear it if you don’t want to. One doesn’t have to wear pants simply because they left a UPC (United Pentecostal Church) church. If you wish to continue wearing skirts and dresses, that is perfectly fine.

I cut my hair before anything else. That was less than a month after I’d officially left the church. I had been studying the Bible long enough before then to see their teaching of uncut hair was nowhere to be found. For some time I still pretty much wore the same clothing. I remember wearing sweat pants during a short time I was going to the gym and then eased into it from there. I wore culottes a lot before leaving the church as I was working at the church daycare and continued to use them afterward.

Here is a thought as to why you may be having more difficulty with pants.

With all the UPC standards, which is taught as being an abomination to God?

Is it hair?

Is it make-up?

Is it jewelry?

Is it sleeve or dress length?

No. It is pants on women as they use Deuteronomy 22:5 as a proof text.

This could be why you are encountering more difficulties with pants. While all the others are taught as wrong, this one links you to doing something which is an abomination to God (so they teach). There is more fear involved and you may not want them looking at you in this way.

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At times a person who leaves will develop an attitude concerning standards and feel they “don’t want to look anything like them anymore!”

I must give a word of caution as this isn’t about striving to not look like people from your former church.

One thing that is important when a person leaves an unhealthy church is that they don’t develop a reverse bad attitude. Some of us learned to judge those who didn’t dress as we’d been taught. We need to be cautious when leaving that we don’t turn and then judge anyone who still dresses that way. There is nothing wrong with someone only wearing skirts or dresses.

When changing our manner of dress or other standards, it should be because we see that the doctrine that was taught is not biblical and it should never be to ‘get back’ at anyone or to flaunt your freedom in their face. In other words, be careful to not replace one bad attitude with another.

One book on outward holiness standards that I have recommended for years is Linda Hopper’s False Holiness Standards. Linda Hopper was a former UPC member and her husband was a licensed by them. The Hoppers are now retired from ministry. The book covers topics such as pants on women, jewelry, make-up, and women’s hair. “This book is a thorough and exhaustive research project that was inspired from Linda’s desire to know the complete truth about what the Bible really says regarding Christian adornment, especially in connection with women’s dress.” You can try watching for a copy on Amazon.

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My First Attempt

Standard Struggles After Leaving