Category: Churches | Page 25 | Spiritual Abuse Blogs

Confusion About United Pentecostal Churches?

The following is a guest post from one of our readers who wishes to remain anonymous, with a some comments added by me. It is a response to a public Facebook post (he has removed the post) by a young man named Westley Ellis, who is the son of Jeremy Ellis (He removed that profile and is now found here), a United Pentecostal Church pastor in Saint Joe, Arkansas. (See the church.)

Westley’s writing will appear in black, with the rebuttal comments in red. My comments will be in green.

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This rebuttal is based on the firsthand experience of a former UPC member (22 years) who served in multiple leadership capacities, paid my tithes faithfully, adhered to all standards, and was viewed as a model “saint” by nearly everyone who knows me. During my 22 years in the UPC, I attended four churches (leaving each one after severe pastoral abuse), and visited many others, where I met many, many people who also suffered abuse at the hands of UPC leadership. This represents the reality experienced by those who chose to leave the UPC. (Rebuttal comments marked by a dash (-).

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There seems to be some confusion about Pentecostal churches, so I figured I should clarify.

People tend to get us mixed up with other churches that are “Pentecostal” only by name. [Note: Many Oneness Pentecostals believe they are the only ones who are saved. Some even go to the extent of claiming that other Pentecostals who speak in tongues don’t really have the Holy Spirit as they believe in the Trinity and haven’t been water baptized only in the name of Jesus. Many OPs believe they are the ‘originals’ going back to the day of Pentecost. Their teachings view the vast majority of Christians as not saved.] Many times friends of mine have invited friends over to church, and they would tell them no because they instantly think of these churches. A lot of these churches spread hatred and negativity and do not exemplify Jesus in any way. [Through the years there have been many Oneness Pentecostal ministers and churches that have spread hatred and negativity.]

—-

So without further ado, allow me to throw some rumors that go around about real Pentecostal churches out the window:

1. We don’t handle snakes.
– But they do speak in tongues, run, jump, scream, dance, shake, fall down, and wail.

[There are Oneness Pentecostal churches that handle snakes. Allow me to remind people of ‘Snake Salvation‘ from National Geographic, the TV show which featured a couple of these. Jamie Coots, one of the featured pastors, died after being bitten. At least one book has been written about Oneness Pentecostal snake handling churches.]

2. We don’t kick people out because they don’t dress like us. That’s prejudice, and it’s a sin.
– But most positions on the platform (singing, preaching, etc.) or in church leadership are off-limits to people who don’t adhere to the dress standards.

3. We don’t stop women from engaging in ministry. In fact, there’s been tons of encouragement toward women in the Pentecostal community in recent years.
– But women are commanded to be in submission to men and are not allowed to “usurp” authority.

[In their beginnings, the United Pentecostal Church had a higher percentage of women ministers than they appear to have now. They exclude women from many positions. Women cannot be a District Superintendent, a District Secretary-Treasurer, a District Presbyter or a District Global Missions Director. The chances of a woman ever becoming the General Superintendent are quite slim. Some may be interested in reading Janet Trout’s 2014 dissertation, “A Study of Attitudes toward Women Serving in Any Office if Elected by the Ministerial Constituency of the United Pentecostal Church International” or Cindy Miller’s 2015 dissertation, “What Are United Pentecostal Church International Women Pastors Experiencing: A Qualitative Inquiry.”]

4. We aren’t a cult. We don’t force you to do anything. If you don’t want to pray, that’s fine. If you don’t want to be prayed for, that’s fine.
– But if you go to their churches, you may be strongly pressured to go to the altar. People will likely put their hands on you, scream in your ear, and pressure you to speak in tongues. They don’t believe you can be saved without speaking in tongues, and their #1 goal is to get you to do it.

5. We don’t handle snakes. (did I already say that?)
– See above.

6. We don’t spread rumors or hate about people that decide to leave the church. That is gossip, and that is a sin.
– This is completely, 100% false. Chester Wright, a revered bishop in the UPC, compares those who leave the church to a “bowel movement” in a videotaped sermon. This sentiment is repeated by many UPC pastors and leaders. UPC pastors often launch full-fledged character assassinations against those who leave, calling them bitter, rebellious, mentally unstable, and backslidden. Current members are encouraged to distance themselves from those who left. In addition, when you leave, your former pastor and your new pastor will have a meeting about you before you’re “permitted” to transition to the new church. The purpose of this meeting is for the former pastor to warn the new pastor about the level of threat you pose to the new church. This is standard practice.

7. We don’t baptize babies. You have to be old enough to comprehend the meaning of baptism, and decide in your own free will if you want to be baptized.
– But they will baptize a 3-year-old if the 3-year-old has spoken in tongues.

[I personally witnessed a four-year-old get baptized after supposedly speaking in tongues. Some will also baptize a child without the permission of the parents. This happened to the child of a friend of mine, who was not a member of the UPCI church.]

8. We don’t look you in the eye and call you a sinner. In fact, it’s common sense to NOT name names, or point fingers when preaching because that’s just plain rude.
– Also 100% false. Sure, the polite UPC members may not say it directly to your face, but preachers will remind you of your sinful state repeatedly from the pulpit in their sermons. Make no mistake: if you are not UPC and adhering to all standards, you ARE a sinner in their opinion.

[My former UPCI pastor did indeed name names during sermons.]

9. You don’t have to practice speaking in tongues before you get baptized… Speaking in tongues is something that just happens, you can’t really learn it.
– But they will encourage you to mimic others who are speaking in tongues, say “hallelujah” or “Jesus” over and over until you’re tongue-tied, and they may touch or jiggle your chin to try to “help” you.

10. This isn’t based off emotion. This one is up to you to decide. I can tell you it’s not, and you don’t have to believe me. But I guarantee you once you’ve been in a Pentecostal service and felt the love of Jesus sweep over you, it’s a feeling like no other. While there most definitely is emotion involved, there’s a whole lot more to it. A whole lot more…
– The emotional highs experienced in UPC services can be experienced in secular ball games and concerts, or even concerts by non-UPC Christian artists, who the UPC believes are unsaved.

—-

Alright, now I’m going to tell you some things that we do and stand for so that you have a reference:

1. We love everybody. It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white, gay or straight, drug addict or clean, drunk or sober. We will welcome you into church with open arms. God loves everyone, and wants everyone to be set free.
– Yes, you will be welcomed into the church with open arms (and love bombing). But if you’re gay, the UPC does not believe you can remain gay and be saved. They claim to accept you as you are, but what they don’t tell you is that they will expect you to drastically change in order to earn their version of salvation. If you’re a woman, you will have to stop cutting your hair, stop coloring your hair (Westley removed this post), stop wearing makeup, stop wearing jewelry, stop wearing nail polish, stop wearing pants or shorts (dresses and skirts only), and stop wearing sleeveless or low-cut tops. If you’re a man, you will have to stop wearing shorts and shave your beard. Both sexes will have to stop drinking, smoking, going to movies, and a long list of other activities. [For some of these, see this.]

[To see how some Oneness Pentecostals are toward homosexuals, see this article. As to racism, the UPCI used to have a separate section in their yearly Directories where they listed ‘colored’ ministers. Even in recent years, they have had problems with racism among their ministers and churches. See this article.]

2. Salvation is for EVERYONE! Nobody is predestined to hell, I don’t care what some people tell you. Everyone has to opportunity to be saved, and we believe the Acts 2:38 message is the way to get it.
– But only if you obey the Acts 2:38 message will you go to heaven (according to the UPC). No one else will go.

[The United Pentecostal Church believes that unless one repents, is water baptized by immersion in the name of Jesus, and speaks in tongues, which they claim is the ‘initial evidence’ of receiving God’s Spirit, you are not and will not be saved. You are also to reject the Trinity belief and believe in the Oneness of God. Read what Westley himself says about people who leave. (He has removed this post.)]

3. Come as you are. You don’t have to dress like a Pentecostal to come to a Pentecostal church. We won’t look down on you at all. You can come wearing whatever you’re comfortable in.
– Yes, you can come as you are, but you will be pressured not to stay that way. See #1.

4. You get to choose. We aren’t going to force our beliefs on you, or shove anything down your throat. You get to make the decision on your own. Free will is one of God’s most beautiful creations.
– But you will be told repeatedly that there is no other way to salvation besides the UPC plan of salvation.

5. We’re always praying for you. Whether you’ve left the church, or are curious about it, we’re always praying for you. We want you to experience the joy of Christ. We want you experience the Holy Ghost. It’s a liberating and beautiful experience.
– If you leave, they will never, ever accept that you’ve found salvation or peace any other way. They will continue to pressure you to return, and when dramatic events happen in the news, they will send you tearful messages about how they’re concerned for your soul because the return of Jesus is imminent. If you don’t respond to their pressure, after some time passes, you won’t hear from them at all, except for the occasional “I have a burden for you” fear mongering. Lasting, true friendship with most people in the UPC is contingent upon you remaining in the UPC.

I hope this cleared up some confusion about Pentecostal churches. If you’re curious about this Pentecost thing, and want to know more, I highly recommend checking out a Pentecostal church service. It’s completely up to you, but I guarantee you won’t regret it!

If you don’t know where to find a real Pentecostal church, I highly recommend you use this tool here: upci . org/resources/locate-a-church
(the spaces are there because people were having trouble sharing)

All you have to do is type in your city, and it will locate a church nearby!

Remember, Jesus loves you. Have a blessed day/night/whenever you’re reading this. God bless!

[Some current United Pentecostal Church members might want to venture outside of their approved books and literature and seek out material that shows aspects of their history they often leave out or don’t openly share, as well as what thousands of former members have shared about their experiences. It’s not the bed of roses that some would have you believe. Here’s just a handful who have shared how they have been harmed. There’s also our series on sexual abuse and the United Pentecostal Church.]

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Blindsided: Pastor Andrew Ray’s Message on Biblical Forgiveness

**Names marked with an asterisk (*) have been changed for the privacy of individuals and their families**

How did Pastor Andrew Ray respond to my email to him about the harassment and about the dangers we perceived in Douglas Stauffer? He preached a message that same evening, Wednesday, June 20th, 2018, about “Biblical Forgiveness.” Can I truly say that he was preaching at us? In the meeting the following Sunday evening with my husband, Pastor Ray admitted that he was “preaching at himself too.” To think that, once again, despite seeing through the intent of the message at the beginning, we took the bait hook, line, and sinker by the end of the message, tears down our faces and questioning our resolve to leave! As with most messages at Antioch Baptist Church, the actual live-streamed message, “Biblical Forgiveness,” can be found on YouTube (it has since been made private).

“Biblical Forgiveness” by Pastor Andrew Ray
Wednesday Evening Service, June 20, 2018
(Message Time-frame: 29:17-1:14:32]

In this series I share my thoughts and opinions concerning these ministers and the events which led to my departure. Click here to continue reading: “Blindsided: Shredding the Evidence” or click on the link below.

For a list of the complete series, click here.

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Crystal Old’s Email to Pastor Andrew Ray about Douglas Stauffer’s Harassment and Character

**Names marked with an asterisk (*) have been changed for the privacy of individuals and their families**

Despite everything that happened over the last few weeks, and despite that we had already determined our days at Antioch Baptist Church were numbered, we still loved our church and we still cared for the people who went there. We desired to see it prosper and we wanted to see it grow, but I firmly believed that Douglas Stauffer was leading it towards its destruction, and I felt that Pastor Andrew Ray was likely blinded by their close-knit work relationship and friendship.

Just two days later, on Wednesday morning, June 20, 2018, after months of not being allowed to give my opinion about Douglas Stauffer’s first comments from back in January, to Stauffer’s harassment and accusations after I finally spoke up, followed by his public apology and then message to Miranda Crawford* revealing the heart behind his apology, I could no longer keep my mouth shut. Big surprise, right?

Back in Pennsylvania, I had been under a mentor and her husband, and though my mentor was my best friend and like a mother to me, her husband ended up being spiritually and psychologically abusive, leaving me with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) for years to come. Matthew Olds was one of the many people instrumental in getting me away from that toxic environment, and because of our experiences, Matt and I recognized traits in Douglas Stauffer that showed up as danger signs in our minds. Even if our pastor never believed me and never saw it, I needed to know that I at least attempted to warn our pastor about a man that we felt had several narcissistic traits.

Below is the email I wrote to our pastor, based solely on my opinions and recollections at the time, but not intended for public display. I reached out to Pastor Ray– my husband knowledgeable, for the record- as a concerned and hurting church member, who hoped for the slightest possibility that her pastor could see the same dangers she saw in this man who found his way under the pastor. There was a part of me that needed to speak, because even if we did not stay at Antioch Baptist Church after our youngest was done nursing, I needed to know that I had done everything I could to warn Pastor Ray about Douglas Stauffer. Though every conclusion contained in this email was entirely my opinion at the time, I still hold to the same opinions today based on the information provided in this series, and in the posts to come. Douglas Stauffer even supported these fears by later attempting to use this email as part of a threat to keep me silent.

Email, “More Questions”, from Crystal Olds to Pastor Andrew Ray
Wednesday, June 20, 2018 at 9:16am.

Thank you for your kind words a few days ago via text. I know these last couple weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind, and I’m sorry for any harm that it caused you and your family. As I look back though, and consider everything that was said in church, online, and in meetings, I can’t get away from a few questions that I need to ask. The stupid Facebook post near the beginning of this thing was never meant to attack you or your character, and it was never meant as a question about how you responded personally to everything that happened last fall. It was meant as a question of the stance taken that it was okay to destroy people behind the pulpit, and that a church rupture was a good thing. That it was one of the best things that could have happened at our church. My question is about Stauffer’s attitude behind it, how *he* handled this situation, and about how things will be handled in the future. My question is if this is how you believe a man standing behind the pulpit and representing our church should act, and if you support how he handles the situations with the members of our church family.

I want to ask [you] to listen to the voicemail that he left my husband [attached to email], and I want to ask you to look at the messages that he sent through private messenger in a group message with me and my husband [also attached to email]. I feel like he attacked me, attempted to manipulate and control me through fear, and attempted to assert authority that he did not have. After Matt had requested that I not respond, and that he would look at it tomorrow because of how late it was, Stauffer continued to attempt to manipulate me and attempted to instill fear in what he could do or would do. He also twisted what I put up as an apology (approved by Matt, as everything has been), and then used guile to try to say that Matt couldn’t see the comments that others were saying.

In the messages on Monday, he attempted to say that we MUST meet before attending any services, and when that [was] questioned, he asked if it would be out of line for you to respond in such a way to such an “egregious act.” He then went around my husband to message me and further manipulate. When that was brought to light, he asked if Matt’s opinion is the only one that matters.

In the meeting on Tuesday night, when we said that he didn’t have the authority to do something, he said, “I can do whatever I want!” That is man who desires power. He said himself that he starts off meetings with a heavy hand and that they tend to work out better that way. He said that he was planning on coming down on someone soon and that he didn’t want them to to have the heads up, and that that was what was behind his “ill-advised” comment behind the pulpit. Feel free to listen to the recording.

In his own way, he sort of apologized for what he said in his messages to me, but then went back to say that he was defending the pastor. He further defended his statements by saying that he was defending you. I feel he believes he has absolute power to do whatever he wants as long as he is “defending the pastor” in his eyes. He said that you approached him and said, “You had better deal with it, or I will.”

He posted an apology online, but then he also said that he had to give some-what of an apology because of the only thing online was the misperception of a Facebook post. That is not a real apology.

You said that he spent “HOURS” with everyone that left. If this is the case, it is very likely that he turned them away even more. I feel that he could have been the nail in the coffin for anyone that he spoke with. Is this really what you desire in this church in terms of reconciliation? Is this what our church desires in terms of leadership or a man preaching behind the pulpit?

He assumes that he has absolute power. He has told Matt that he does not want the responsibility of being a pastor, but then turned around and said that he can do whatever he wants. Furthermore, he is deceitful and full of guile. The meeting with you and Matt over the missions trip, then how many times his story changed about WHO he was speaking of behind the pulpit, how he twisted your words to say that we could not attend, and that you had told him to take care of it, only further shows that he will twist the truth and tear people apart to get what he wants and desires.

This is much longer than I intended, but it needs to be said. I’ve been here before. No, I shouldn’t have put up that post, but putting up a simple question to a message should not have resulted in his actions. It did, however, reveal that festering sore (Stauffer, to be clear that it’s not you) that we’ve wondered about for a long time. I’ve dealt with men that are spiritually abusive, power-hungry, and only desire to have the pre-eminence. Just look at your office that is no longer your office, but his studio where he posts a stock photo online of for the equipment.

You don’t have to believe it. You don’t have to see it. What I suspect you don’t see is the impact of his negativity, criticism, manipulation, and control on our church, or the impact that will likely continue and grow until it is destroyed. We have a great church and I think we can agree that we want it to continue to grow spiritually. This is a dangerous man because he doesn’t care about who he takes down along the way, and he is doing in the name of protecting you. In such, he destroys your character from the inside out.

Crystal

Email, “Looking Back on that Last Message”, from Crystal Olds to Pastor Andrew Ray
Wednesday, June 20, 2018 at 9:44am.

Pastor,

Looking back on my last message, I’m afraid it came out harsher than I wanted as a whole. I love our church and I want to see it grow. You’ve been a great pastor and there for me through so much. This has been our home for four years now. But I’ve seen this before. I know what this looks like. This isn’t meant as attack on you, but other than being hurt immensely these last few weeks, I’m concerned about what he has done with others and what he will do in the future. It isn’t about you other than that I’m afraid of what will happen with the ministry here as long as he continues to make it about himself and how he looks. Antioch is supposed to be about preaching truth, but also love and brotherly kindness. If I didn’t care, I’d be gone. And maybe that’s what everyone would prefer by now, but I care about our church. I care about what happens to it.In this series I share my thoughts and opinions concerning these ministers and the events which led to my departure. Click here to continue reading: “Blindsided: Pastor Andrew Ray’s Message on ‘Biblical Forgiveness’” or click on the link below.

For a list of the complete series, click here.

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Blindsided: The Illusion of Pastor Andrew Ray

**Names marked with an asterisk (*) have been changed for the privacy of individuals and their families**

That Wednesday evening, June 13, 2018, my husband, Matthew Olds, and I finally heeded a friend’s counsel to take a break, for the sake of our own family, as well as our church family. Though we had initially considered visiting another church a few days prior on Sunday night, we shifted our plans to Wednesday because of the financial meeting planned with Seth Razler*. On Wednesday night, we visited at a sweet, Independent Fundamental Baptist Church in our area, and though we later realized that it was not the church home for our family, the strong Christians there and the safe, endearing environment they created, were an absolute haven for us as we quietly tended to our family’s wounds left by the leadership of Antioch Baptist Church.

Why did we not leave Antioch Baptist Church in June or July? Because we still saw Pastor Andrew Ray as the pastor that loved and cared for our family. Not only did we not see him for who- we now believe- he had become, but we feared re-creating the tension of the nursing situation at another church. A breather, however, was exactly what we needed to make it through the next several months.

Come the following Sunday morning, back at Antioch Baptist Church, I ran into Mary*, the pastor’s oldest daughter, and I apologized for how my initial Facebook post affected her. I assured her that upon writing that post, I was unaware of the previous situations that had occurred, including the ones that she had been through, and that I never intended for her to get hurt.

The next morning, Monday June 18, 2018, I messaged Pastor Ray to inform him that I had apologized to Mary*, and I further wanted to clear the air about my lack of responding to his friend request to me on Facebook that he retracted after a week. I feared that not responding right away would appear to be out of spite or anger, and though my greatest desire was to keep from hurting my pastor even further, I simply was not ready to open back up to anyone and risk being hurt that deeply again.

His response, as always was reassuring and encouraging, just as he had been through the whole situation, with the exception of his private Facebook messages to Matt. But I even understood and justified his reaction through the private messages because his family was hurting, and what man would not lash out upon perceiving a threat to his family? Despite his family’s anguish, after meeting with Matt a mere two days after Douglas Stauffer’s carnal message, I had lifted my head from facing the ground in embarrassment and shame, only to meet my pastor’s usual compassionate eyes and hear him say that he loved us and loved our family. I believe I merely gave a thankful smile because I was still too overwhelmed emotionally to speak. Despite the agony written across his face and the depth of pain which I felt I had inflicted on him and his family the last several days, I thought I recognized the face of my pastor, the one that knew our past struggles and fears, knew us for who we were, and was attempting to give us a chance to make things right as brothers and sisters in Christ. I had no idea that he had just crushed my husband, removed us from all ministries, and made my husband his cheer-leader from the sidelines, while Douglas Stauffer roamed free.

Fast-forward two weeks later, right after informing Pastor Ray that I had apologized to Mary*, his text messages presented the same calm and reassuring attitude towards us that he also presented in person. We assumed, despite his previous comments about the “writing on the wall,” that we were all working toward reconciliation. We assumed he was genuine and the same pastor we had known for the last four years. But once again, we assumed incorrectly. We had no idea that he would later accuse us of trying to destroy our church, something he deemed to be “his life’s work.”

Text Messages Between Pastor Andrew Ray and Crystal Olds (Matthew Olds included in group text)

Crystal Olds (June 18, 2018 at 8:49am): Pastor, I saw your friend request on Facebook a week ago, and I saw it come off over the last day or so. I just need time and space at this point. I want things to be okay again, and I was trying to converse as if things were calm and normal yesterday, but these last two weeks have been filled with triggers and I need space to work through them. I’m spiraling (c-PTSD) and I need time to sort through the emotions and everything that happened.

Crystal Olds (June 18, 2018 at 8:49am): [Continued] I meant to catch you last night and while you probably already know, I did apologize to Mary* yesterday afternoon. She’s growing into a sweet young woman.

Pastor Andrew Ray (June 18, 2018 at 10:23am): Thank you for writing sister! Mary* did tell me and I appreciate both your apology and your sentiments toward Mary*. As for the friend request, I just withdrew it so that it was not in your face. I figure, if or when you are ready, you can send one to me.

Pastor Andrew Ray (June 18, 2018 at 10:23am): [Continued] On a separate note, but just to be above board, I will be tightening my settings in the next day or so, because I need to keep the Post Tribbers and works salvation attacks at bay as long as possible. I did not want you to think those changes had anything to do with you. Today I am going to try to snuff out post or mid trib “friends.” Believe it or not, people taking a stand on the pretrip rapture have had some of the these guys show up at their front door to debate and argue with them. Just wanted you to be aware.

Thank you again for talking to Mary*. I hope you have a great day.

Crystal Olds (June 18, 2018 at 10:23 AM): I had no idea that that was going on. People have lost their minds. I really hope that no one tries that with you guys, and thank you for the heads up. I would have wondered.… so thank you for that. We are praying you all have a good week and Lord willing, see you all Wednesday

Pastor Andrew Ray (June 18, 2018): Sounds good. Thank you sister!

Crystal Olds (July 1, 2018 at 10:50pm): Thank you Pastor. Meeting tonight really helped. That said… The “amen” question is a perfect example of what I was trying to ask with the example you gave of Teletubies. At this point, Matt isn’t against a woman saying amen, but I’m afraid it could come across as disrespectful or that I don’t care, now knowing for sure where you stand. I never want you to think that I just don’t care and I never want to be in your face about something you disagree with. Just needed to get that out there.… And thank you for another point on my side of the board for “I told you so” with Matt (just kidding).… It’s been a messed up month, but I’m thankful you’re our pastor.

Pastor Andrew Ray (July 2, 2018 at 9:45pm): Sorry to take so long to respond. I’m glad I could be of some help to you. Thank you for your kind words.

Crystal Olds (July 3, 2018 at 11:26pm): No problem and thank you. Good night pastor. Lord willing see you all tomorrow night

Pastor Andrew Ray (July 2, 2018): Liked “No problem and thank you. Good night pastor. Lord willing see you all tomorrow night”

Pastor Andrew Ray (Sep 18, 2018 at 9:45pm): <3
[Crystal Olds accidentally sent heart emoji while looking at previous messages with Ray following her departure from Antioch Baptist Church]

In this series I share my thoughts and opinions concerning these ministers and the events which led to my departure. Click here to continue reading: “Blindsided: Crystal Olds’ Email to Pastor Andrew Ray about Douglas Stauffer’s Harassment and Character” or click on the link below.

For a list of the complete series, click here.

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Blindsided: Straight from the Horse’s Mouth

**Names marked with an asterisk (*) have been changed for the privacy of individuals and their families**

Miranda Crawford* and I had been communicating through Facebook messenger, beginning with her reaching out to attempt to comfort and encourage us through the chaos. On Tuesday, June 12, 2018, the day after Douglas Stauffer’s “Bit of a Confession,” Miranda* sent me Stauffer’s own explanation of his apology. Douglas Stauffer did acknowledge that his recent statements had nothing to do with the Crawfords*, but he once again apologized for how his “ill-advised” actions could have affected them, and said that some form of an apology was necessary because the only thing public was a “mis-perception” of the truth that started with his “ill-advised” comments. Once again, we feel that Stauffer said exactly what he meant at a time when he believed his true actions and motives would not be revealed.

Jeremy Crawford*: I just wanted you to know that I don’t have any hard feelings toward you and though I am trying to overcome some bitterness… I have been praying for you and for Antioch.

Douglas Stauffer: Jeremy* I understand that things spiraled out of control rather quickly and much of it took place when I was traveling so I did not see enough of it firsthand. I do stand behind pastor Ray because I know what it is like to feel attacked and you want to fix things in a hurry. Honestly, he too wonders how differently he could have handled things, but don’t we all? Don’t I even today with all that has recently transpired?

Douglas Stauffer (continued): People have no idea what it is like to stand in a pulpit with every word scrutinized and everyone wondering the motives- good or bad- behind every single statement.

Having said all that, all the things of recent had absolutely NOTHING to do with you or your family. I don’t want to give details because it seems that those sometimes just add fuel to the simmering coals that reignite the fire that seems to be somewhat quenched for now. Regardless, I do apologize to you and your family if my comments based on my internal thoughts caused me to speak ill-advisedly and caused you any further hurt.

Douglas Stauffer (continued): Please pass along my sincerest apologies to your family and thank you for reaching out to me. I feared putting anything out there publicly because it sometimes just opens more old wounds; creates more questions and talk, yet somewhat of an explanation/apology was in store because the only thing out there was mis-perception that started with my ill-advised statements.

Douglas Stauffer (continued): We ALL wish things did not turn out the way they did and want nothing but good/great things for your family. Although the bridges may be burned here, God wants to use each of us in our own ways. Even two of the greatest Christians had sharp contentions at times but God was ultimately glorified. That is my hope for all concerned.

Acts 15:39 And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus; 40 And Paul chose Silas, and departed, being recommended by the brethren unto the grace of God.

Miranda Crawford*: He somewhat apologized. Jeremy* was responding (privately) to the post he put out on FB

In this series I share my thoughts and opinions concerning these ministers and the events which led to my departure. Click here to continue reading: “Blindsided: The Illusion of Pastor Andrew Ray” or click on the link below.

For a list of the complete series, click here.

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