Category: Churches | Page 16 | Spiritual Abuse Blogs

Blindsided: Skeleton #1: Manipulating the Broken

**Names marked with an asterisk (*) have been changed for the privacy of individuals and their families**

Throughout my breastfeeding journeys, I often wondered how I could possibly survive, but the Lord provided the most intricate life-support system, not only through my closest friends, but through complete strangers as well. My closest friends and those relationships developed through various breastfeeding support groups are what made it possible to endure the intense anxiety and agonizing depths of depression during my postpartum periods. They witnessed the toll the church breastfeeding situation took on me and my family for months at a time as I perpetually justified the wrongs of my church’s inner circle, and knowing I blamed myself, they never gave up.

My friends listened to my frustrations and held me close, while those in breastfeeding support groups encouraged me to assert my rights, even publicly if necessary, by going to the media or by simply allowing them to stage a nurse-in as a cry for justice. Instead, I “suffered myself [and my family] to be defrauded” for the cause of Christ. Countless nights left me tossing and turning without answers despite the hundreds of tear-filled days I wasted away, consumed with researching and attempting to lighten the burden I felt that *I* had placed on my church family and on my husband. My sacrifices, however, were to no avail, because the inner circle was not willing to show true compassion and give back just a little of what they took. I continued to break yet the more, longing for a peaceful resolution, but not once did I assume that my own pastor and pastor’s wife, Andrew and Lula Ray, had been working behind the scenes to intensify my burdens. I rightfully expected my pastor to respect reasonable boundaries, but instead, he attempted to manipulate me through those closest to me, all the while knowing I struggled with suicidal ideation because of postpartum depression and anxiety.

Shielded Arrows From Behind

Shortly after Douglas Stauffer’s carnal message during the 2018 Bible Conference, and within proximity of the time Seth Razler* accused me of giving my church the “middle finger” every time I nursed in the service, several close friends revealed that Pastor Ray and/or Lula Ray had approached them, requesting that they would meet with us, hopefully coercing us back in the isolated mother’s room. Thankfully, each one of those friends embodied character and honesty enough to protect someone that was simply trying to survive. One of those families came and sat with us for support without saying a word about what happened. Another, a peacemaker, unknowingly sent me into a mental spiral when she encouraged me to show “spiritual maturity” by going to the mother’s room, but she continued to invite us to join her family during the church services despite my response and never faltered in supporting me in the months to come. The third family that we were made aware of, the Martins*, further revealed a side of the Rays that we had never seen before the 2018 Bible Conference.

Hierarchy Before Friendship

One would assume that the Rays would have shown the Martins* due respect considering their years of unbreakable friendship, but when Celine Martin* clearly stated that she was not going to approach me about nursing based on her own values, Andrew Ray proceeded to go “over” Mrs. Martin* to convince her husband to “lead” as “head” of the family. As per the status quo at Antioch Baptist Church, the assertive refusal of a woman was not sufficient. Thankfully, Dennis Martin* also refused, leaving no other levels to manipulate, and the Rays hands tied by the law.

Law of Liberty or Liability?

According to Tennessee law, “A mother may breastfeed in any public or private place she is authorized to be” and according to an amendment to that law (TCA 68-58-102), “breastfeeding shall not be considered public indecency or nudity, obscene, or sexual conduct.”

Shortly after my second child was born, I had made the mistake of presenting this last to my Pastor Andrew Ray and Lula Ray out of concern that a future visitor could stage a nurse-in (the equivalent of a sit-in) or that our church could incur legal ramifications. Unbeknown to me, it appears Andrew and Lula determined my act of devotion to be a literal, active threat to Antioch Baptist Church, and likely began to determine ways to work through loopholes in the law.

In this series I share my thoughts and opinions concerning these ministers and the events which led to my departure. Click here to continue reading: “Blindsided: Skeleton #2: The Destruction of a Young Girl” or click on a title below. [Links will be added as new blogs are posted.]

Blindsided Series

Part One: Red Flags and Rose-Colored Glasses

Part Two: Calloused Carnality and Hidden Harassment
(Sunday, June 3, 2018- Tuesday, June 5, 2018)

Part Three: Navigating the Masks of Deceit
(Wednesday, June 6, 2018- Sunday, June 17, 2018)

Part Four: Discerning a Diotrephes: Douglas Stauffer

Part Five: When Closet Skeletons Speak

- When Closet Skeletons Speak
- Skeleton #1: Manipulating the Broken
- Skeleton #2: The Destruction of a Young Girl
- Skeleton #3: Recordings From a Church Meeting
- Skeleton #4: A Secret Letter
- Nail in the Coffin

Part Seven: Rising Up from the Ashes

Alejandro Negrete Child Sexual Abuse Charges

This 41st installment in this series about sexual abuse in the United Pentecostal Church will be different from the others. This concerns a young man who was water baptized at one of their churches and was recently arrested on suspicion of multiple sexual charges against minors. I do not know the extent of his involvement at this Spanish church or if he was still attending when arrested. I wish to make clear that this article is not in any way attempting to accuse this church or pastor of any prior knowledge of his actions or any wrongdoing regarding this case. It is being posted as an alert to any parent who attends or attended there where this man may have come into contact with their child(ren).

The extent of Alejandro Negrete’s involvement at the Iglesia Del Dios Viviente, a United Pentecostal Church, pastor Joe Anthony Ramos, is uncertain. The church is located in Portland, Oregon. He was baptized there in 2018, apparently in late October. This is the link to the above screen shot from the church Facebook Page. If the recent charges against him are true, it is unknown when this started, so parents should be aware and should check to be sure that no harm, or attempted harm, came to their child(ren). Please contact the Sheriff’s office at 503-846-2700 if you suspect anything may have happened.

“I think this specific act is pretty brazen, doing this while you’re working, in a truck, in a FedEx uniform,” said Det. Mark Povolny with WCSO. “Unfortunately we’ve seen that people who want to take advantage of children will look for any opportunity to do that.” – Source

Alejandro Negrete, age 24, was working as a FedEx driver for over one year when he was arrested on July 16, 2021 for attempting to sexually assault a 9-year-old girl in Aloha, Oregon. He was on the job when this happened. The girl was playing outside her home in the 4000 block of Southwest 106th Avenue when Negrete attempted to lure her with candy and assault her. Thanks to the child, her mother and police, with the help of FedEx, he was quickly arrested. Upon his arrest and based on what Negrete shared with investigators, they suspected that he sexually assaulted at least one other person, though it did not appear it was related to his employment. He worked seven days a week and his routes with FedEx included southwest Portland, Beaverton, Aloha and Tigard.

Three days after his arrest, the Washington County Sheriff’s Office reported that they discovered at least four additional child victims, all in relation to his FedEx employment. At least one of these alleges Negrete exposed himself to an 8-year-old girl in Beaverton. His bail was originally set at $20,000, but was quickly increased to $250,000 on July 19 after the other cases were discovered. Last I saw he was still incarcerated.

2024 Update: On May 18, 2022, Alejandro Negrete pleaded guilty to first-degree sexual abuse, first-degree attempted sodomy, and two counts of public indecency. He was sentenced to 103 months in prison. He must also register as a sex offender and undergo post-prison supervision upon his release from prison. (Link to Washington County District Attorney release.)

He is currently incarcerated at the Snake River Correctional Institution, which is a multi-security facility. His earliest release date is August 29, 2029.

KATU news article re: his sentencing.
KPTV news article re: his sentencing.

You will find a complete list of articles in this series by clicking here.

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United Pentecostal Pastor Ron Bohde & Two Youth Ministers

It is not my intention in this article to go into details of the two United Pentecostal Church related sexual abuse cases that will be mentioned here. Those will hopefully be covered in future articles. What I wish to share are my thoughts on how Ronald Earl Bohde, one of their pastors, handled two separate sexual abuse cases, each at a different church. It is infuriating that a pastor can fail to report the sexual abuse of a minor to police and then years later, support a different youth leader who was found guilty of 19 counts of sexual abuse involving four minor girls. Why the UPCI continues to license men who mishandle sexual abuse cases is absolutely mind boggling. It seems they need to toss their 2019 position paper on sexual abuse as words without actions are meaningless. This is Part 40 of an ongoing series about sexual abuse in the United Pentecostal Church (see links at the end).

Ron Bohde was raised in the United Pentecostal Church as his father, Earl S. Bohde was a long-time UPCI minister, going back to the 1950s in Oklahoma and Arizona. Ron graduated from the Salinas High School in 1976 and was a graduate in 1980 of Christian Life College (then known as Western Apostolic Bible College) and has been preaching ever since. He claimed that when he was 24, he turned down an offer to pastor a church in Collinsville, Oklahoma, where he had preached a revival. He has been a pastor in Mississippi, Oregon, and then his present church in Dinuba, California, where he started in late March 2016. While in Mississippi, he also worked as an administrative assistant for the District. In 1999 he became the director of Home Missions of the Mississippi District, which it appears he held for a year.

In the late 1980s, Ron Bohde was pastor of the UPC of the Reservoir in Jackson, Mississippi for a brief time and for about three years in the late 80s to the very early 1990s he was pastor at the Pentecostal Lighthouse Church in Meadville, MS. He then pastored the New Chapel Pentecostal Church in Collins, MS where he remained until 2005. It appears that after this he took a break from pastoring while remaining in Mississippi. In 2008 he became the pastor at Bethel United Pentecostal Church in Hillsboro, Oregon. While in Oregon, he owned Bethel Wood Works, an pen and oil vessel business. During the latter part of Bohde’s time in Oregon, the church had a daughter work in Seaside, Bethel Apostolic, which later folded, followed by another using the same name in Forest Grove, which also closed. In March 2016, Ronald Bohde became the pastor of Calvary Apostolic Church in Dinuba, California, where he remains as of the writing of this article. He is 62 years old.

Why does this article point out the various places where Ron Bohde has been a pastor? It is because, in my opinion and that of others, in two of these churches (Bethel & Calvary Apostolic), there was a sexual abuse case involving a youth leader and each was not properly handled. One cannot help but wonder if similar might have occurred at any of these other churches, and/or if there may have been additional cases at Bethel and Calvary Apostolic, but they never hit the news nor were prosecuted. Let’s take a brief look at these sexual abuse cases where the youth leaders were prosecuted.

“This was a worst-case scenario when it comes to a church and a pastor not cooperating.” – Prosecutor Kevin Barton, regarding the Dylan Ritterman case in Hillsboro, Oregon, and referring to Ronald Bohde.

Pictured below: Convicted sex offender Dylan Ritterman, UPCI Pastor Ronald Bohde, convicted sex offender Victor Becerra.

“Just to mess with their minds- I’m just praying that they get rain, cold and soaked wet, and miserably enjoy their protest.” – UPCI Pastor Ron Bohde, speaking at a church service in 2020, to the applause and laughter of church members. He was referring to a group of protestors comprised of the victims’ family and friends.

The following in bold is what was reported in part by The Oregonian on May 21, 2015 regarding the case against Dylan Ritterman and Ron Bohde’s response and knowledge of one of the victims. Bohde did not report the abuse to police when he first learned of it and was not initially cooperative with police when they were investigating the charges.

“This was a worst-case scenario when it comes to a church and a pastor not cooperating,” Barton said.

Barton said the church’s head pastor first declined to speak with police without a briefing on their investigation, which officers would not provide, and then declined unless his insurance agent could be present.

Finally, the head pastor talked to police and revealed with a “heavy heart” that he had known about the abuse of one of the boys. The teen had told the pastor about the abuse, Barton said, and the pastor told him to document it in a letter. But the boy didn’t speak English well and was incapable of writing a letter in English.

In May 2015, Dylan John Ritterman pleaded guilty to two counts each of attempted first-degree sexual abuse and second-degree sexual abuse of two boys at Bethel United Pentecostal Church, where Ronald Bohde was pastor. Ritterman was a youth and worship leader, minister, he lead services, taught and was involved in the Spanish ministry. It happened when the boys were in their early teens and some of the abuse occurred on church property. There was a third case which was dropped as part of the plea bargain. Ritterman was sentenced to prison for six years and eight months. His earliest possible release date is December 27, 2021.

On May 22, 2015, SNAP issued a statement asking the Portland religious leaders to shun the church leaders and urged law enforcement to press charges against the leaders due to how they handled everything. It stated that the pastor should be harshly punished. Less than a year later, in late March 2016, Bohde left Oregon to pastor the Calvary Apostolic Church in Dinubi, California. One must wonder if this church was made aware of the Ritterman case prior to this.

Ministers should not idly sit back while their colleagues – in any denomination – endanger kids, conceal crimes, rebuff police, and behave in ways that bring shame on people of faith.

When ministers do nothing while other ministers endanger kids, all churches become less safe. – SNAP, May 22, 2015, referring to Ron Bohde and Bethel United Pentecostal Church

The following in bold is what was reported in part by The Mid Valley Times on November 11, 2020 regarding the case against Victor Becerra and Ron Bohde’s response.

But the pastor also continued to deny the claims and further wished rain and discomfort on a group of protestors made up of the victims’ family and friends.

“I don’t believe that he did it,” said Bohde. “Just to mess with their minds — I’m just praying that they get rain, cold and soaked wet, and miserably enjoy their protest.”

The comments received laughter and applause from his congregation.

On October 8, 2020, a jury found Victor Becerra, a former licensed United Pentecostal minister, guilty of 19 counts of child molestation of four minor girls at Calvary Apostolic Church in Dinuba, California where Ronald Bohde is the pastor and Becerra was a youth leader. In 2021 he was sentenced to prison for 228 years to life. In an October 14, 2020 article from The Mid Valley Times, it was noted:

“We were finally able to sleep well,” said Veronica Reese, mother of two of the victims, after Becerra was convicted. “It’s so amazing. They (her two daughters) were emotional and crying. But, we finally got justice.”

Reese stated that throughout the allegations, prosecution and trial, members from Calvary Apostolic Church continued to defend Becerra as they accused her and other victims of fabricating the abuse. It was also reported that the church bailed Becerra out of prison after his initial arrest. – October 14, 2020 The Mid Valley Times

After Becerra’s conviction, in an outdoor service, Bohde spoke about being treated wrong and that the protests on the church sidewalks were attempting to “disrupt and harass” them. He mentioned how enemies should be treated and loving those people. Yet it appears he forgot this just a short time later, when he wished ill on the protestors, as reported by The Mid Valley Times.

Survivors should not have to endure a pastor and church mishandling what happened as they have more than enough dealing with their sexual abuse. In my opinion, Ron Bohde is a perfect example of the need for the United Pentecostal Church’s position paper on sexual abuse. Will the UPC add actions to their words and intervene in cases like this? From what we have seen so far, their response has been mostly silence as Bohde continues to hold license with them and pastor one of their churches.

You will find a complete list of articles in this series by clicking here.

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Blindsided: When Closet Skeletons Speak

One fall afternoon in 2008, my mentor’s husband, Randy, instructed me to call him as his failing transmission drudged slowly along the interstate in first gear. Perhaps, he was contemplating his pending boredom on his usual one-hour commute that had suddenly turned into a several hour trip, or maybe he subconsciously needed a minuscule amount of control over the moment considering the financial detriment his family was about to incur. Either way, after obeying his instructions as my “spiritual dad,” he demanded to know every potential sexual detail of my only past relationship in high school. The problem came when his wife started calling me at our pre-scheduled time, and I had not yet satisfied the extent of his demands. He instructed me to ignore his wife’s incoming phone calls, without explanation, knowing full-well the extent of the hurt and feelings of abandonment his wife would endure, all while threatening whatever consequences he thought sufficient, should I not “obey” him.

Finally, he allowed me to hang up and call his wife, but as my mentor and I spoke, she knew me well enough to know that something was wrong. I could no longer obey Randy’s demands to keep silent about the phone call without being dishonest with my mentor. As if the afternoon had not already been stressful enough, I believe she subconsciously went into survival mode, resulting in her redirecting her anger towards me instead of her mentally abusive husband. Randy had something to hide but his feeble attempt at shoving his newest skeleton into the closest had not just merely postponed the aftermath, but it also simultaneously fueled the fire, causing as bleed-out nigh impossible to recover from. What if Randy had stopped when his wife began to call? What if he had never tried to cover it up by directing me not to tell his wife that he and I spoke? Certainly, his wife would have still been upset, and rightfully so, but could his admittance, without cover-up, significantly reduced the detrimental outcome?

Just as with Randy, I have personally wondered what would have happened if Pastor Andrew Ray and his wife had simply admitted to leading teenagers towards courtships/engagements, not only against their parent’s expressed wishes, but to the extent of aiding in the deception. What if, instead of repeatedly justifying their actions, the Rays had mended friendships as closely knit as David and Jonathan by a true apology, instead of lip-service? Could it be, I wonder, that if they had swallowed their pride closer to the beginning, there may have never been an entire church service dedicated to destroying an entire family’s name? Perhaps there never would have been a letter of ostracization sent to family including a threat toward a college student’s education. Just maybe, there would never have been a men’s meeting to follow that was aimed at humiliating another young college-age girl for wanting to marry the pastor’s son.

I believe that if Pastor Ray, even following the mass exodus, had been honest instead of showing off the pitiful wounds in a purposefully hushed silence around the truth, maybe those families- mine included- would have never endured such calloused disdain. Perhaps countless spiritual lives would not have been destroyed long-term. Maybe marriages would not have been shaken close to their breaking point! I believe that if Andrew Ray, and his wife Lula, had owned up to their questionable actions sooner- if at all!- there may never have been such an extensive domino effect at Antioch Baptist Church in 2017 and in the many months to come. Unfortunately, heaps of skeletons lay tucked away in a closet without question. Let us open the doors and finally give some of them a chance to speak.

In this series I share my thoughts and opinions concerning these ministers and the events which led to my departure. Click here to continue reading: “Blindsided: Skeleton #1: Manipulating the Broken” or click on the link below.

For a list of the complete series, click here.

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Blindsided: Douglas Stauffer’s August 2020 Voicemail

On Monday, August 31, 2020, Douglas Stauffer contacted my husband for the first time since December 2018. Stauffer’s first phone call did not work out, but he called back and left a voicemail (transcribed below), revealing yet another example of what we feel is attempting to manipulate and control our family through fear. Interestingly enough, since sharing his voicemail online shortly after receiving it, Douglas Stauffer and Andrew Ray never followed up as of February 2021:

“Hey Matt, this is Doug Stauffer. I’m calling you at a time when I was sure that your voicemail would pick up, not to blindside you at work, but I don’t think that happened. But now I’m leaving a voicemail. In early July, Brother Ray brought to my attention your wife’s stalking of the two of us. He found out about our attacks while traveling. We remained completely silent, and instead prayed for you and your family. I even added them to our family- uh, to our church weekly prayer bulletin.

Now, we have some clear guidance from God on how to proceed, and our talking on the phone is the first of potentially six progressive steps. The second step will be an open letter that Brother Ray has written, he’ll send to you first. The third step is meeting together or posting the open letter on the internet. We are going to let you two determine the direction of things as they proceed and to what extent they evolve. By now, all of her blogs have been archived along with all of her Facebook attacks against us. We have not yet reported her to Facebook concerning her defamatory harassment and libelous postings, but that could happen soon, too.

I met with you and Crystal twice in 2018 on June 5^th and September 2^nd with witnesses present at both meetings. We all assured each other that everything was settled, and after the first meeting, until Crystal blindsided me with several unwarranted email attacks. Almost three months later on the meeting, in the second meeting, I against stated I hoped that we never had to discuss these matters again. You assured me that that was the case, and your wife agreed, stating that we could move forward, and I think we are all good. Those are Crystal’s exact words at the end of the meeting during my last interaction with the two of you.

What in the world has possessed your wife to get her to write such nasty, malicious, fictitious and defamatory things about us and the church? The way things seem to be heading, I’m afraid they could turn out to be even more psychologically damaging into your wife’s fragile psyche, hurtful to your marriage, potentially damaging to your precious family. We want to avoid all of this, and regardless of how things progress, it’s completely up to the two of you at this point.

This call is to start the process of attempting to head things off before things progress to the point of no return with outcomes quite unpredictable.

If I don’t hear from you in the next few days, I’ll tell Brother Ray to proceed with a rather lengthy letter. My number is ***-***-****. God bless you. I hope to hear from you very soon. Thanks. Bye.”

In this series I share my thoughts and opinions concerning these ministers and the events which led to my departure. Click here to continue reading: “Blindsided: When Closet Skeletons Speak” or click on the link below.

For a list of the complete series, click here.

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Shop at our Amazon store! As an Amazon Influencer, this website earns from qualifying purchases.