Category: Oneness Pentecostal | Page 55

The fragility of truth

Someone told me today that he had come to the conclusion that “Orthodoxy is a fragile thing, which can be good. If it’s false, it can be easily dropped, and broken. But if it’s true, it must be constantly maintained.” I wonder if I misheard him. Because if what we believe is false, it can be easily dropped and broken, yes. But that is when it must be constantly maintained. Only the false is fragile. The truth, like fire, should not be so easily snuffed out.

It was an interesting comment and an interesting line of thought. Should the truth need to be constantly maintained? I don’t believe so. Truth will flourish on it’s own. The false, the insufficient will be easily broken or snuffed out, yes. Something closely related to that has been bothering me lately. After nineteen years of believing a certain way and giving my life to it, I find myself wondering what I believe.

I’m not sorry for the positive things that came of my life in Pentecost, but I don’t believe what I did just two months ago. I told someone not long ago that I haven’t left Pentecostalism, I’ve just grown beyond it. That is very true. It was good in it’s place and time, but there are deeper, richer places in God, and I’m ready to explore those.

So was what I believed false, that it could be easily broken? I can’t answer that yet. Is my faith broken or bigger now? I’d have to say bigger. Maybe in answering the second question, I’ve answered the first. So again I come to the thought that I haven’t left Pentecostalism, but I have grown beyond it.

Only what is false must be constantly maintained, in my opinion. Truth will stand on it’s own, and falsehoods won’t tarnish or change it. Truth is strong, but falsehood is weak and easily broken. Systems that encourage people not to look beyond their group’s way of thinking are maintaining something. But truth promotes growth, not maintenance.

The difference between falsehood and truth, to me, are like the difference between a spark and a bonfire. One can be easily snuffed; the other can burn for days without any human effort. So when I’m told if I miss a service that I’m “leaving truth,” when I realize that after 19 years that two months has totally changed my opinion on certain passages in the Bible… I have to wonder what I was maintaining all these years.

God made the mountains. He put the stars into space. He is truth. Truth doesn’t need to be maintained by humanity. Truth extends way beyond humanity. Who ever heard of maintaining a mountain? Or maintaining a star? So why, then, do we think truth must be fought over and maintained through such careful monitoring of every bit of information that passes our eyes? Truth will stand on it’s own. It isn’t fragile, and there is no need to maintain it.

There is no reason to fear that truth will break so easily. It should be treated respectfully, but even when left alone it will persevere. If a person is afraid that “truth” can be easily broken or lost, that is a very good sign that they are only maintaining an ideology, a mindset, or a thought pattern, rather than real truth and faith.

For the joy

Sometimes I feel like dancing…

I don’t know what to write. There is so much going through my mind, and sometimes there aren’t words for what we experience. That’s where I am right now. Sometime, probably soon, several pages will all appear at once on my blog, but for now, I’m just happy and enjoying that happiness.

Several months before I left church, the pastor preached and said that people appear happier for awhile after they leave church, because they have made a decision one way or the other after riding the fence for so long. After being out awhile, I have to say that is probably wrong, at least in some cases. I’m not happy to have left- I still believe much the same things and dress much the same way, and I miss my friends. I haven’t figured out yet how to make connections outside of church, and so I’m lonely sometimes too.

But I’m also just… joyful. I am finally getting the rest that I need, when I need it. Enjoying the peacefulness and quiet of my home. Cleaning house, since that was always the first thing to fall by the wayside when I was overwhelmed. Organizing. And feeling good about myself for doing these things and for not always worrying about what anyone will say or think or do. Just being myself. Its been a nice change.

Do I enjoy being able to do whatever I want? Of course. But what have I done? I ate soup with a man, in broad daylight, without a chaperone. I’ve watched three and a half movies (plus two and a half before I left). YouTube sometimes, a little face powder for a while, trimmed my hair twice just a tiny bit. And missed church.

What have I found? Its fun to meet new people or to share a meal with someone without a chaperone. Movies are generally pretty boring, even if they were once favorites. I could care less about makeup, and like my hair as it is, but don’t think trimming it was a sin. I really enjoy the hymns and quiet worship of many denominational churches, their sermons about God’s love and mercy and grace, and their teachings about how to love each other… and haven’t yet found one that seems to be a good fit for me. But that’s OK.

And in all these things and others, I’ve discovered that it’s OK to relax. God loves us. He isn’t waiting to whack us if we are a little “off.” He won’t strike us the minute we stumble, but like any good parent will gently catch us, set us upright and encourage us to keep walking. It’s nice to be imperfect. And it’s a joy to realize perfection isn’t required. God loves us just the way we are.

Living free

I went to a baby shower at a church I’ve been visiting this weekend. I’ve been to lots of baby showers in the church, hated them, and felt guilty for hating them. This one was totally different.

On Thursday, I emailed one of the ladies in charge and asked her if she’d like me to bring a tray of food. She replied they’d forgotten the food, and that would be wonderful, then asked what I would be bringing. I replied briefly a veggie tray and maybe a fruit tray. She said great.

In Pentecostal churches, I have been intimidated to bring food to anything for a long time. What I brought to carry ins was rarely eaten. Ladies would tell me how to improve it, or remind me that they preferred more spices or more meat, or less fat or higher quality ingredients. What I brought to bake sales was set aside on the back corner of the table. My things rarely sold. What a waste of time, effort, and money!

So I went and bought the food for the trays. She hadn’t put limitations or expectations on me, so I was able to be more creative, and wasn’t so worried about what I got. I don’t have to impress these people, after all. If they need impressing, I’ll go somewhere else. It was fun choosing items for the trays, for a change. No agonizing over what fruit would be perfect or whether Sis Snooty would think there was enough. Just fun, making choices and considering what they would enjoy most.

When I got home, I was surprised to realize I had enough for three trays. Crackers and cheese. Veggies. Fruit. Each tray was filled with the things that would keep over night. Then on Saturday I put the remaining foods in their proper slots-even a slot for marshmallows, just for fun, and because I knew any kids that came would enjoy them.

My former church ladies would have had a fit. The grapes weren’t the freshest. They weren’t the largest. There were marshmallows in the fruit tray, and some were quartered regular sized ones, so they were a little sticky. The apples hadn’t been treated with lemon juice. Etc.

The ladies yesterday were just happy to be there. They complimented the trays, and laughed about how much they enjoyed the marshmallows. They chose foods politely, rather than piling their plates high and hoping there would be enough left over for people at the end of the line. They ate everything they chose- nothing was shunned as not good enough once tasted. No one complained about anything at all. It was absolutely amazing, and it was wonderful.

Then came the gifts. Oh, I hated choosing gifts for events in my former church. Once, a lady stopped me in Walmart, looked in my cart, and asked if that was what I was taking to the shower. She asked what else I was buying. I told her that was it. She proceeded to tell me that I needed a pricier brand and bigger box of diapers, took mine away and put her choice in my cart! What an interesting way to be helpful… though I know that’s what she thought she was being. At showers, gifts were always compared. Pricey gifts were expected. Brand names were a must.

Yesterday, gifting was different, too. Each gift was praised for it’s own merit. None was compared to another. None was shoved aside. All were passed around, admired, enjoyed by everyone, and placed neatly in the center of the table, together- not according to who gave what or what was deemed best, but as one large group of gifts, all respected, all admired. None was shoved on the floor or cast into a chair to one side. All were gratefully received.

Again, I was amazed. I have hated showers all my adult life. My gifts were never good enough, pricey enough… never the right brand or the right quality. But this weekend it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that there was a baby coming, and that we could celebrate the coming birth together. Not as family, but as friends, all in our own ways and with our abilities. And isn’t that, after all, the way the family of God should be?

The Few, The Proud, The…

One sign of an unhealthy church is when they teach that almost everyone else is wrong and lost except them. It isn’t speaking of those outside Christianity, but those within. This may also be said of some of the churches within their own organization, if they belong to one.

I remember when my former United Pentecostal Church pastor would say we were the only church in the area with ‘the truth.’ Yet in the nearby town, just minutes away, was another church in our same organization. He felt that pastor was lax on standards as all those attending didn’t fall in line (as if all those attending our church did). He also sometimes spoke against our long-time District Superintendent, Wayne Trout, claiming he ‘stole’ people from our church. I was personally warned about this by him. Through the years I have heard far worse stories than the things my former pastor would do.

Besides believing that outside their doors there are few that are saved, some particularly unhealthy churches also tell their members to not go to any functions at certain churches within the same organization. The reason behind their detest for these churches may be they feel the pastor is lax on the standards, or perhaps not in line with the ‘higher’ standards he holds. It might be that they allow the use of some form of media that is taught against, like filming services. Perhaps he doesn’t like the other pastor for some personal reason. The jealousy between some ministers is a shame.

Some of these elite may even go on to a ‘preferred‘ way, a ‘better’ way, that puts distance between them and those they feel are abandoning ‘truth.’ They will uphold ‘the old paths,’ even though those alleged ‘old paths’ are not found in scripture. You can almost hear them sing, “Tradition, tradition! Tradition!”

An unhealthy church has no problem disregarding Galatians 5:13-15 as they bite and devour one another. What was it that the early Christians were known by?

¹³For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. ¹⁴For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” ¹⁵But if you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out! Beware of destroying one another. (NLT)

Living for God should not be so hard

Why is it so hard to worship God or have any kind of walk with Him?

I ran across a statement similar to this not long ago, I forget where.

The church I was in, when I was first there, seemed to be fun and I had no idea that worship could be so much fun. But then…but then. We had to be there (in church) as it was a requirement. Didn’t we love God enough? We had to shout and dance and cavort. Didn’t we love God? We had to be there at social functions like a pot luck – 100% attendance for the whole church. Saturday morning visitation in the freezing cold and wind in winter and the hot (95 at 10 am) humid mornings in summer. It was another requirement. After all, didn’t we love God?

If we were not jumping around during song service we were not worshiping. Sometimes the altar calls went to 11 pm. Most of us had jobs we had to go to Monday morning (and Tuesday through Friday too). And get up at 5 am to go to the church to pray before going to work. And then the revivals. One year we were having so many revivals I was nearly exhausted but that didn’t matter. Didn’t we love God?

Then there were the standards of dress and hair. Don’t cut your hair. Don’t even trim off one split end. Don’t even pull out the hard knot, pick it out gently (obviously said by men who had short hair). Skirts down to the ankle. A lot of the young women liked the “pencil” skirts and shuffled along. I sometimes hoped there was not an emergency where they had to RUN out of the church to save their lives. Splits in skirts had to be sewn down to the hem line. (Then one day the Pastor said we could sew them down to 4 inches below the knee which helped some). Sleeves down to the wrist. In our hot Kansas summers we could wear sleeves to just below the elbow. It was still too hot.

If you cut your hair you lose power. If you wore your skirt and sleeves too short someone was bound to be lusting after your knees and elbows. Give a Bible study or go to the “Bad Place.” Speak in tongues every single day so you know you still have the Holy Ghost. Pray an hour a day, everyday. Invite someone to church – oh the contests, we had to see who’d bring the most visitors! Read the Bible through every year.

The list just went on and on. I had lost sight of my Jesus. I did not like what I was becoming – judgmental about those who did not come to our church, the one with the Truth. No other church had the truth like we did. I remember sitting on the pew for awhile, thinking, “Where is Jesus? Where have they put Him?”

At one time, I was told salvation is so easy (pre-Pentecost days): Just believe on the Lord, He is savior and He died on the cross. The cross had all but disappeared. Like Fudge’s book: Christianity Without the Cross. Where had the simplicity of salvation gone? Why was it so complicated?

It was man’s rules that dimmed the hope of salvation and grace. Man’s rules that tried to keep people in control and in a church building. We were told God only lives here in this place. And we believed all this.

I don’t read my Bible every day now. But sometimes I pick it up and read a bit and it seems to mean more than when I rushed to read x chapters every night and felt guilty if I missed a few days reading.

Why should we feel so guilty if we didn’t follow all the rules? Why should we feel ashamed? Jesus did not preach that. Paul did not preach that. The Bible does not teach us to be/feel that way. Jesus really got onto the Pharisees about all their rules and regulations. Why do we need all that?

We don’t. Building a relationship with anyone should not be contingent on rules and regulations And so it goes with God. He loves us unconditionally. No conditions except that we worship him only and know that Jesus is the one who paid the ultimate price. That is why He said “It is Finished” and died.

I only hope and pray that those who are still following so many rules will see the light in Jesus and stop all the nonsense.